What I Needed

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Chapter 44 ~ Home

Deon’s P.O.V.

Last night I slept, I mean really slept, the best sleep ever. I don’t think I’ve had any sleep since she left? Our absolutely breathtaking son lay in between us, huh… us… a word I thought I would never say again, or even the words, ‘our son’. Last night Neveah and I actually talked, had a real, honest to god, in depth and open conversation. She told me about how she didn’t know she was pregnant until she was already seven months because he sat behind her rib cage and she was under so much stress, that the ‘Grace Records’ doctor said her body was reacting to that. Where the fuck did their Doc get his license from?

She, as gently as possible, told me how she had been dropped from the label because the stupid pin dick prick, Steven Shaw, that owned it, was trying to force her to sleep with him, needless to say, fuming was not a strong enough word for how I felt towards him. Nevaeh doesn’t sleep with just anyone nor does she sleep around, I think that’s what separated her the most from just any other girl, she knew her worth. But when she told me about what it was like giving birth? A pang of hurt hit my heart. I wished I had of been there, my foolish actions had kept my Little Angel away for far too long and I missed out on a lot, but that wasn’t going to happen anymore.

We talked about how we were both willing to start again, this time really do it right, shit, it felt good just to talk to her. With all the uncertainty facing us, there was one thing we were sure of, we both still loved each other. Jakobe, the dick was right, my precious property did hold the key to our future, even if he didn’t know the baby was in fact hers, he was under the impression Rex was her flatmates. Nevaeh had blessed me though and I was thrilled by the discovery, she’d given him not only my father’s first name but Slade, our last name as well. Man, was mum going to flip when we got back, I was not revealing this over the phone, she had expressed just how much she wanted grandchildren, I think even more so since Kitty and Leighton aborted theirs, I’m glad they did, I saw the struggle Trigger went through, kids having kids is insane.

We had a lot to work through, that much we knew, I was horrified to discover the conditions my Little Angel was living in, my heart broke at the sight. She had a tiny room, almost the size of my cupboard and a tiny thin single mattress on the hard concrete floor with only two suitcases, one with her clothes and one with Rex’s.

She had a small pile of food stacked in the corner, mainly canned stuff and one bowl, one spoon, one knife and one fork. Shit, even people in third world countries lived better than this. It wasn’t her fault about the room, she made that perfectly clear, her father had found her and she had to run for her life, boy was I going to murder that fucker, just another thing to add to the ever expanding pile of stuff, I should have been there for.

Valerie, the lady she lived with, had offered her a place to hide that was cheap, Nevaeh paid her a small amount of rent and extra to watch Rex so she could work. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to load up her life, man was I ecstatic about it too, my Little Angel needed saving and I was finally going to be her hero, protect my family the way I should have done. We jumped into the car, Vell and Brutus had hired and we were finally on our way home.

After driving for hours, in between the rumble of the bikes that surrounded our precious cargo, I noticed just how apprehensive and fidgety she was, she shouldn’t have been, there was no need now, I was here. I reached over and entwined our fingers, squeezing gently.

“What’s up Little Angel?”

I felt her relax the moment we had a connection, like she had been holding out for me to touch her, like she needed reassurance I was there. “Where am I going to work?”

“Work?” I was taken aback.

“Yes Deon, Rex needs things, I need to be able to provide those things for him but if I can avoid strip clubs and brothels, I will. I don’t want him growing up thinking that his mum was a hussy or a prostitute.”

I laughed, “Baby, when we get home, the most important job you’ll be doing is taking care of our son.”

“Deon, what am I meant to do? Ask you for money every time he or I need something? Do you know how degrading that is? I need independence, I…”

“Little Angel, I’m going to stop you right there. A lot has changed since you left okay, if you are that worried about it? I will set you up with your own card linked to my account and you won’t ever have to worry about anything.”

“I’m supposed to just mooch off you?”

“No, but you’re my woman, you always have been, let me take care of you.”

“Deon,” she grumbled, “be realistic, I need to work…”

“And you will be, you’ll be raising our boy and any others that happen to come along.”

Her head snapped sideways as she narrowed her eyes at me sitting there, grinning mischievously, “don’t think that just because I agreed to come back, that you and I are going to sleep together. We have so much to work through, so many things that needs to be sorted. I know you said you hadn’t slept with any…”

“You need to stop because technically, I didn’t give you an option, I was always coming back with you whether you agreed or not and first of all, I haven’t slept with anyone else, mainly because, I always hoped you’d come back and I knew for damn sure, you wouldn’t forgive me if you knew I had touched a club whore or any other pussy for that matter. Secondly, I am more than capable of providing for you and Rex with everything and I mean everything, both of you need and thirdly, as I told you last night, I want this, you, me and Rex, a new start with our family.”

“But working…”

“You can go back after we’ve decided no more kids…”

“But Deon, what if we don’t work out?” Shit was she pissing me off.

“Impossible Nevaeh, but I’m going to need leeway because I clearly suck at this relationship stuff, hell, we’ve already proved that. I missed out on one of the most important days of Rex’s life already, his birth; I’m not missing anything else. I want to hear his first words, see his first steps, be at his first baseball game and I want all of that with you. You should know me well enough by now, to know, I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep. So, I will do anything to keep us together, including letting go of Presidency, if that’s what you wanted…”

“That’s not what I want.”

“Phew, because I love the brotherhood and our life, but damn it Little Angel, do you see how serious I am? How much I really want us back?”

“I don’t want my… our son, growing up, thinking that club whores are a way of life Deon.”

“Okay, okay, I’ve always known how you are around that, okay, so we have a long way to go and time to sort out a compromise. What would be suitable for you? Priya and Trigger have decided to start trying for a baby and Ovella and Brutus are looking into fostering and then adoption, they’ve each asked for land to build on so the kids are away from the clubhouse. What if we done the same?

“Up in the trees, bordering the club, there’s a really nice spot that I always thought maybe someday, with the right person? I would build up there. I would still be close enough to the club and deal with the day to day running, the club whores will still be around for the other members but we can issue new rules to keep the fucking behind closed doors, unless it’s a club party where the kids won’t be?”

“You would change the rules? For me?”

“Jesus woman, have you not been listening to anything I’ve said?” She lifted my hand pressing her lips gently on the back of it, then rubbing her cheek against it.

“I think that’s a great compromise but if it doesn’t work, can I come talk to you about it? About how I’m feeling?” I wished I wasn’t driving at that moment; I flicked on the indicator, than pulled over, she needed to understand me fully.

Everyone on the bikes stopped too. I clicked her seat belt holder, pushed my seat back and pulled her onto my lap, just as Jakobe was heading in our direction. He saw what I was doing and turned swiftly on his heels and went back to his bike.

I cupped her face in my hands, running my thumbs along her cheekbones. “Thus far, our communication has not been the best, I grew up watching how mum and dad compromised on lots of things, yes, they fought, yes, they got angry at each other but they always talked it out, that’s all I can ever ask for. If you need to talk about something that’s bothering you, I want you to know you can come to me for ANYTHING, no matter how big or how small, anything… alright?”

She nodded her head and I took my opportunity to caress her lips with mine, slipping my tongue between her teeth, to taste every inch of her divine mouth. Her throaty moan was not making it easy on my straining erection or the excitement of having her on top of me intimately. I reluctantly pulled away, keeping our foreheads joined, “anything Nevaeh, say it.”

“Anything,” she whispered.

“Good, now I need you back in your seat before I lose all control and fuck you right now.”

She smiled at me, “sorry, I’m still bleeding a little from giving birth.”

“Fuck, when does that stop?” I growled, knowing my fun factory had been shut down for a while.

“Normally, it was meant to stop between four to six weeks but…” she cut herself off and looked away in shame.

“But?” I pushed. “Anything Little Angel, you promised.”

She huffed, meeting my eyes again, “having a baby is expensive and with the hospital debt and minimum wage…” her eyes began to well with tears as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Minimum wage…” I urged again.

“I… I haven’t exactly been taking care of myself, choosing to skip meals and stuff so Rex had formula or nappies, to pay rent and bills, so my body is taking a little longer to heal.”

Shit, she definitley had been through hell. I dropped my head onto her shoulder before looking back at her, “why are you not breast feeding?”

“I couldn’t, my milk never came in, by the third day of trying everything, Rex was starving and the hospital was giving him other mother’s milk, I didn’t want him getting nutrition from some other woman, I should have been feeding him, but I couldn’t, I was useless.”

My heart was shattering all over again, “no, you’re not useless, Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry, you were probably so stressed out… I’ll take care of everything, okay. Fuck, I even noticed how thin you looked.” My mind was reeling by everything she’s had to endure, “right, let’s get you better and back to a healthy weight, you don’t have to worry anymore baby, okay? I’ve got you. I’m going to take care of both of you, how I should have been doing this whole time.”

___________

She had been awfully quiet the whole way back, I knew that was hard for Nevaeh to admit what she did, she was a fierce independent warrior, but I was proud she trusted in me enough to share her burden. All this time I thought she was living the dream, when in reality she was suffering through one hell of a nightmare. When we stopped over night at the small Inn, a few hours out of town, she was still quiet, though, the way she cared for Rex, doted on him and filled him with whispers of adoration, made my heart ache with nothing but love, this was something I never knew I wanted until it was right in front of me.

We finally pulled into the big steel compound gates, Digger had his little girl on his back, talking to mum and they both looked up with concern written all over their faces, hell, I would too, we weren’t due back for days and here we were.

With mum’s brow furrowed, she wandered over to me as I stepped out from behind the wheel but then her face lit up, “you shaved your beard and cut your hair?” She exclaimed, “God you look like your father.” Her light brown eyes began to water, “what happened? Why are you back? Was the place a shit hole? Where did you get this ca…”

By now, Nevaeh had exited the car and clamped mums mouth shut mid-sentence, she was slightly shaking and staring at mum with an apologetic and timid face, “H… hey Aja.”

Mum seemed to pale then broke from her stupor, smacking me on the chest, “you bastard! Where the fuck did you find her?”

Mum moved like the flash, collecting Nevaeh into her arms and squeezing her tightly. Everyone was still sitting on their bikes, waiting for the best bit of the surprise. Little Angel looked up at me over mum’s shoulder with the biggest smile and a wash of relief on her face; I guess she thought mum would be mad at her? If only she knew, it took months for mum to talk to me properly, disappointed in my actions that day.

I walked up behind them still in a solid embrace, “Mum, that’s not all we found,” I opened the back door and unclicked Rex’s belt, gently extracting him from the car seat and settled him into my arms. Her wide eyes snapped between Nevaeh and I as she gasped and her hand flew up, cupping her own mouth, “Mum, meet Rex Cody Slade, your grandson.”

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