What I Needed

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Chapter 45 ~ Great Dad

Jakobe’s P.O.V.

Priya and I watched from the pool tables, pretending to play, as Aja gushed over her grandson Rex. I had done it, I had restored order and I couldn’t have been more thrilled about the outcome. Nevaeh was back where she belonged and Prez was the happiest I’d seen him ever, there was just one tiny hiccup in all of this that I seemed to have overlooked.

“You okay caveman?” The sweetest voice licked at me ears and made me smile.

“Yeah, baby, why do you ask?”

“Because I’ve just sunk three balls and you didn’t even notice, also your face was doing that scrunch thing it does when you’re having a conversation with yourself.” My ever observant Mafia Princess, fuck, how did I ever get this lucky?

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, burying my nose into the curve of her neck. “I’m just going to check on Leighton and Kitty.”

“You think Rex being here has upset them?”

“I’m not sure, but I just wanna check they are okay.”

“You’re so amazing.”

Priya tilted her head to the side as I pecked her cheek, “so are you Mafia.” I smacked her bum with my open palm and she squealed, I knew she loved it really.

Before knocking on his door, my movements were halted by voices coming from Kitty’s slightly ajar door and like the curious man I am, I listened in.

~ Are you sure you are okay with this?

~ Yes Leighton, I have to be.

~ Kitty Kat, it’s okay to have feelings about this, heck, I have feelings too.

~ Leighton, we are too young, can you imagine what our lives would have been like? Far out, we couldn’t even handle the crying when little Rex wanted his mum and don’t think I missed your face when he pooped. You almost went green, then when he vomited you cleared the room.

~ Maybe it would have been different if it was our own?

~ There would be no partying, no hanging out with your mate Adam, no sleep, no money and definitely no cuddles between us. A baby is twenty four hours, day and night for at least the first five years of its life and then, if it’s a good sleeper we may get some sleep. Leighton, you can’t even handle cleaning up your room without losing your shit, I know I fucken hate washing, what… the babies going to come shooting out of me and want to clean up after you and wash my clothes?

~ But that’s what I want, with you.

~ It’s what I want with you too, but not now, we finish school next year, let’s just get through that first.

~ Babe, I wish I was in that room with you.

~ I’m glad you weren’t, you know, when I think back on that day or about how everything went down, it hurts, sometimes the pain is almost too much to bear. The guilt and regret, it eats at me, like a hole that just won’t heal. I still cry, I still feel like I made the wrong choice, I think part of me will always wage that war between the endless ‘what if’ scenarios but then I realise that being a part of this MC means there are no guarantees. How would you feel if the mafia situation played out differently? I would have been here, pregnant and waiting for you to come home, only you never came home and I would have been left to care for a child, we were meant to raise together.

~ I would have found my way back to you.

~ Leighton, we made the smart choice. Now, when we are ready to start a family, we can be prepared. You need to give yourself a break, you hurt too, I know you do, I know you carry just as much guilt and regret as I do, but it’s time for both of us to let go. This ‘no sex’ pact has allowed us to grow a strong relationship, we work as a team and I actually believe, in spite of my crippling sadness at times, that this was what was meant to happen, it makes us appreciate life and everyone we have in it.

It was at that part I backed slowly away from her door. The father in me was worried and clearly they were struggling a little but what I heard told me they were working through this situation, together and I was proud of them for that. What Kitty had said made perfect sense, shit that girl had a good head on her shoulders, I think Leighton’s confusion over everything stems from his guilt and knowing him, he will wear that pain for the rest of his life.

To be fair, we should have been stricter but like all teenagers they would have had sex anyway, hell, it’s not the same as when I grew up, sex is in their faces all the time. I’m just happy that they are making the right choices now. They’ve proved that you can learn from your mistakes and that’s all this father can ask for.

I walked past Techno’s lair and noticed Deon and him speaking in hushed whispers.

“What’s going on in here then?” I arched my brow as Deon spun around with wide eyes like a deer in headlights. “What are you up to?”

“Fuck Trig, don’t do that,” he groaned.

“Why do you look so guilty?”

“Shut up, I don’t. Something Nevaeh said about her old man and her brother…” he walked towards me but then closed the door. “She said they tried to seek revenge for her testifying against him in the murder of her mother.”

“What? Her father did what exactly?” I was not at all expecting that, did Priya know?

“Murdered her mother, stay focused Trig, I’m not repeating myself. She saw the whole thing, her testimony put him away in prison for it.”

I blew out a sharp breath, “fuck, that girls been through the wringer.”

“Yep, he has to pay, because on top of that wanker of a brother selling her out to their old man, he lumped her with the medical bills from my punch, she has been skipping meals, working two jobs, just to keep her head above water, all while trying to remain off the radar and dealing with Rex.”

“So, what’s your plan?”

“First of all, we need to make this debt disappear, get it off my woman’s back so she can relax and focus on getting healthy. Then we hit him where it hurts but not just that… Techno, I need you to find locations on a Nathan Brian Zuli and Brian Everett Zuli, as well as any background info. I wanna know what we are up against, all she’s ever said was that her father is a sadistic arsehole and she made herself believe her brother was a good man but she always knew he was just like Brian.”

“Look at you ah, becoming a man, protecting his family,” I teased, wiggling my eyebrows.

“Fuck off ya bastard.”

“Ah Prez, your dad would be proud of you.” I slapped him playfully on the shoulder as he gave me a crooked shy smile.

_____________________

The next few days everything seemed to be falling into place, Techno was tracking two fucktards while the rest of us continued at our work, Leighton and Kitty had gone on holidays from school and my awesome son decided he wanted to spend his days with me at the bike shop. I was loving having him there. Priya would take a break during the day from Deon’s accounts and she and Kitty would come join us for lunch, it was nice.

As I sat beside Ash, one of the brothers, fixing his bike while he fucked around beside me, I saw his face light up as Priya and Kitty entered. “Tiger! Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Hey Ash, how’s security treating ya?”

“Ah Tiger, you know me, I do more fucking than protecting,” she laughed at his dirty mouth.

“I’m happy for you. Hey caveman, can we talk?”

I walked over to her and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek, “ya know when a woman says she needs to talk, it usually ain’t good.”

I nodded in the direction of my office, “Ash, there’s some food in the break room, if you’re hungry.”

“Tiger, forget Trig here and marry me.”

“Fuck off arsehole.” I spat as she chuckled.

“I would but the sex is too good.”

Her comment back to him had me grinning like a damn Cheshire cat. “Too much information Tiger,” he yelled back as I closed the door, amused by their banter.

“What’s wrong baby?” Concern immediately evident as I captured her in my large arms.

“How long did it take for Leighton’s mum to get pregnant?”

“Ah, Mafia? You’re not worried are you?”

“I honestly thought it would have happened by now, this is the third test, the one I done this morning and still nothing.”

“Baby, these things take time…”

“I get that Jakobe, but we’ve been at it for a few months now, I don’t understand why it hasn’t happened yet?”

I exhaled heavily, “Priya, it will happen when it’s meant to, you are worrying unnecessarily.”

She looked defeated, guess I should have been focused on checking my woman was okay, first. “Nevaeh wasn’t even trying…”

I cup her beautiful face in my hands, “you have nothing to worry about, give it time. But while we wait, you and I get to have lots and lots of practice.” She gave me a fake smile and a nod, then her sad eyes wandered to my chest, she was not at all convinced, I could tell. “Listen, let’s give it six months, if nothing has happened? Then we’ll get looked over by the doc, ya know... do that, that, sperm count thing and check your insides, alright.”

This seemed to brighten her up, “okay.”

“Now, can we go out there before they eat or the food on us?”

She tilted her head back and laughed, “alright caveman, better feed you before you turn into a wild beast.”

I picked her up and threw her pliable and accommodating body over my shoulder. I was serious though, while I wasn’t worried that we would eventually conceive, I think she felt as though she was failing slightly as a woman. Hell, Leighton was one hell of a surprise but I think he was always meant to come along. His birth thrust me into being responsible because I had no other choice, my own parents were useless as fuck, no wonder from the moment I found out what my dick was actually for, I wanted to test that shit out.

Dad was a religious man, church every Sunday, strict to the core but at fourteen, I started noticing just how much he loved to be around his best friend. I suspected something was up, mum was always pining for him, I would hear their arguments from my room late at night about how he never touched her and on the odd occasion they did fuck, it would be rough and mechanical. (Mum’s words not mine) But when his best friend was around, he would always squeeze his shoulders, look lovingly into his eyes, rubbing against each other.

The night I came home to tell them Lavic, Leighton’s mum had fallen pregnant and she was keeping it, I heard grunts coming from the garage. Peeking in, I realised exactly what that arsehole was up to. It wasn’t the fact that his cock was buried in his best mates arse or the fact that he had his hand around his buddy’s tiny dick as he bent him over the car ‘we’ were rebuilding, it was the fact that this man preached religion, spewed it from every pore and behind our back’s he was cheating on my clueless mother, who just yearned to be loved.

As I sat on their couch, my leg bouncing a million miles an hour, my head, overloaded by the rapid thoughts crushing down on me at discovering my father was gay and I was about to be a dad still in highschool. My ignorant mum walked in with a glass of wine, pissed as a mule, flicking her ash from her cigarette on the carpet and said, “your father and Timmy are just looking under the hood of the truck, they think they found the reason it’s not starting.”

I scoffed bitterly and thought, ‘it ain’t starting because he’s fixing Timmy not the fucken car’

After half an hour of waiting for him to come in, dripping with sweat, he plonked himself in front of the T.V and ignored mum as she tried to give him dinner. I chose to ignore what I’d seen, fuck dad being gay was the least of my problems right now, so I laid it all on the line, told them everything. His face twisted into hatred, his mouth opened and out poured the contradicting bullshit about how I will burn in hell for my sins.

I lost it, completely, he was a liar, a cheater and when I called him on his bullshit, his fist hit my face so hard it made my lip bleed. He dragged me by the hair and threw me out of the house, told me not to ever come back. I never did.

As I stood around some of my brother’s, watching them chow down on the food Kitty and Priya had prepared and watched as they joked with one another, I realised just how lucky I was to be away from them.

I swore that night, as I looked at the closed front door of the house I grew up in, the only home I’d ever known, that I would be the best father to my unborn child and the woman I eventually fell in love with, which I knew for sure wasn’t Leighton’s mum, that I would do everything in my power to show her everyday how much I loved her and give her the support she needed from me as her partner.

I may not have been ready back then, but I was ready now and so I know, when it’s meant to happen, it will.

“You okay baby?” Priya looked up at me riddled with concern, her sparkling green eyes shining like an emerald.

“It will happen,” I smiled back at her, “I love you Mafia.”

“I love you too Jakobe.”

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