The Royal Family, Her Royal Highness, I could go on, but really who could be bothered?
Sure we were all happy for them but personally I would hate to be them. The cameras, the photos, the public appearances, I mean really, can you be bothered? By the way things seemed, it appeared you had to be beautiful even when you slept and I knew for a fact, when I slept, even giants would be ashamed.
Wouldn’t you hate having your whole life planned out from even before you were born, from your name to your school to who you would potentially marry? I mean imagined asking your parents ”Mummy how was I born?” and instead of saying, oh yes honey, you were made with love, the answer was.
We conceived you so the future heir had someone to marry. To breed you like a race horse.
Yea apparently no one else thinks like me, and the rest of the country had awaited the grand arrival of the baby centuries ago and it still happens, which was stupid. It was a baby, being pushed out of a vagina, I was trying really hard to look at the more joyful aspects right now.
I was probably not even born when the most recent of prince’s was given birth to, now aged twenty-six and dashing, or so they say, he was a good catch. What was he a fish?
Well thankfully, I hated seafood.
The saying downright was stupid, especially because no one had that chance to “catch” him, and the reason why was pretty simple. Just like his name, school, and what clothes he was going to wear, his wife or future wife I must say, was planned from the day his father’s sperm met his mother’s egg.
Which I found quite...disturbing.
And you would expect a woman brought with the utmost manners and elegance, the perfect queen to be, with knowledge like an owl, beauty like a goddess and the stealth of a snake.
Because the honour went to the girl in the peach gown in front of me, and she had nothing of that, nothing at all, well maybe some manners in public since her ands were neatly folded in her lap.
Catherina Souvelietta Mary Jones, a girl who you must called by all her names to gather her royal stuck arse’s attention.
But for me, it was Miss Jones as I was, drum roll for a commoner, her bodyguard. That and I really could not be wasting my valuable breathe just to tell her, her car was here. I had more important things to do, like making sure she didn’t get killed.
Even thought I wanted to kill her myself in the past three months I had started to guard her.
There were numerous times I had scoffed when I had found out that she was born just for the heir, she was created for the heir, she had no other purpose but to marry and breed for the heir.
Wasn’t that making her more of an object than a human?
It was even worse that she was brought up in near isolation, no contact with the prince so when they met, it was like love at first sight.
Except, this was the 21st century and what are really the chances a modern guy would fall head over heels for the peach marshmallow in front of me?
Someone gag me.
Especially since I was pretty sure I was meant to be promoted after my last mission, not be demoted to being just a bodyguard. I was much, much more than that. No instead I was set working for a spoiled princess who made me polish her shoes with a toothbrush.
I would rather me fired than serving this punishment.
And these are the times I hated my job, whilst everyone else aged twenty-four like my beauti-average self was at college and finishing of their degree, I was far from it. Learning from books myself in my room and private lessons at a younger age was how I learned.
And rather than dreaming about mid pies and rainbow pooping unicorns like other ten years old’s, I was running a dangerous training course and shooting apples upside down instead of running about cooties from guys.
Whilst it was pretty cool then, I felt like part of my life was sucked away from me.
Since ten when I should be eating rainbow cookies and dirt, not learning how to hold a gun.
“Miss Jones,” said my co-worker Alex , cough coworker not cough, as he spoke to her, probably saying his royal highness the fish catch was close by.
My peach marshmallow turned her head saying something before flicking her hair over her shoulder, what happened to the bun she had not ten minutes ago? I could see her make-up artist standing at the end of the room, a small mirror in one hand and a brush in the other.
What did that brush even do? Brush dirt of her? Because they missed a few spots.
I looked at the door, where was he? I looked at Catherina, a small smile on her face, probably excited to meet the love of her life.
It seemed pretty weird that she hadn’t seen him all her life, they were really into this whole “love at first sight” thing, like they still believed in fairy tales. Maybe if they stepped out into the real world, they’ll realise things like that just happened in stories.
Whilst every other reporter in here started to stand, getting excited for the arrival, I was far from it.
Maybe he had trout feet, I smirked and let out half a laugh immediately silencing when Alex saw me. I was just thinking, I mean he was a catch, like a fish, a trout fish. I stopped another snicker.Well I damn hoped so, before I got stuck on this job. I spent the last one or two months with this little spoiled brat, you loose count of days when you’re with her, and I hated it. I feel sorry for trout feet fish face.
God where was this prince?
The quicker I could hook them together, the quicker I could leave them to the royal palace guards and get on with another mission and not be a damn bodyguard.
I mean the job was really boring.
First of all, standing here for five hours waiting and keeping guard, was tiring. I didn’t even get to go to the toilet! I had to wait till they were all inside and seated before I could pee. And when nature calls, it damn calls.
Secondly, you try spending a minute with Catherina, she will either bore you, or annoy you with her fake perfect attitude, or turn you into a murderer with her spoiled brat private talk. Shoes must be polished, even the heel which makes no sense since the heel is touching the dirty ground she rested her feet upon.
Thirdly, repeat secondly infinitely.
Get my gist bro?
The sound of a car, or ten, made me stand taller and keep my eyesight focused the ground while I felt Alex stand up straighter next to me. Thank god I had swapped positions with me, if I had to stand next to her any more I would murder her myself. That was probably why they gave me a rifle.
“Hurry up,” I muttered earning a nudge from Alex making me roll my eyes. Whatever.
The door finally opened and dare I peek? I looked up from the carpet as I saw the rest of the room stand as I felt the feeling in my throat.
Oh god not now.
My eyes were starting to bulge as they started walking past us and I couldn’t help but yawn as the only pair of brown boots out of the back passed me.
I heard Alex mutter something under his breathe, was that an apology? The feet continued and I bit my lip holding back a snicker. Did they just pause because I yawned?
Wow....they had no lives if that was the most interesting thing all day. Maybe I should just yawn all the time and make them stop every time. That would be funny, I wonder if I should try that next time.
“You just had to,” said Alex the second everyone left. I looked up shrugging.
“Can I pee now?”
He waved an arm and I shoved my coat into his arms and ran to the bathroom. Why was it that the closer you got to the bathroom it was harder to hold your bladder?
I had been holding in my bladder ever since we got here, and finally I could let it all go.
I shoved an old woman aside as I ran through the door, why was she patting her damn hair in the doorway!
Sorry lady but young people get priority, I slammed the door to the stall and sat down sighing.
Heaven, was that you?
Coming out I tightened the loose belt on my pants, that was strictly not allowed and walked to the sink to wash my hands, looking up my horrible reflection met mine and I grimaced.
My hair was done up in some fancy bun, old woman orders, and my dark brown eyes stared back at me looking nearly black. I could see the tiredness reflecting back in them, or maybe i was just me being fed up with all this dramatic Cinderella fairy tales. Not that I knew how the fairy tale went.
But I had to admit, the uniform was great, dark navy blue pants and shirt that was tucked in. The coat was the same, but had a gold sash cutting across it horizontally adding that sophistication.
But it did irritated me, I thought I was a bodyguard, so why was I wearing a uniform. Why can’t I be like Liam Neeson in his sexy black attire and sunglasses?
Apparently the peach marshmallow queen to be ordered that I blend in with everyone else.
I wiped my hands on my pants and opened the door rushing back to Alex only he wasn’t there.
No! They couldn’t have all gone missing so quickly! I just went to pee. And I pee fast!
I quietly opened the door to the double ball room and saw no one. What? Where was everyone? Was there a threat that made everyone evacuate leaving me all alone here? Who was going to save me!
Oh wait, I was meant to save them. My bad.
I turned around smacking straight into some chest and my head hit the back of the door.
“Well shit bro look where you are go-oh I mean hi,” I said forgetting this guy could be part of the royal family. My eyes roamed over his casual clothes and nope he wasn’t. Thank god for that!
“Well move,” I snapped placing a hand on his chest when he didn’t move, he just stared with a vvery iritated expression.
I gave him a slight gentle sho-okay a shove and stepped away from him giving us some distance.
He looked at me, his green eyes taking me in as he raised a perfectly arches eyebrow.
“Can I help you?” I asked when he didn’t move, was he blocking my way? My fingers itched to do just what I did best in all my other missions when someone tried to stop me, I killed them.
“Indeed you may, where are the royal family members?” he asked his posh accent setting in and I raised an eyebrow, wait what did he just say?
It took me a second before his question registered and I gave him a once over. What if he was like a killer? I mean everyone else who had an invite was inside. I took him in again, his sharp cheekbones and bright eyes were the only things that made me think, surely someone cute can’t be a killer.
But maybe he was using those looks to get at the king. Or maybe I was just over-analysing this.
I had two options.
1. Tell him to f-leave.
2. Tell him where and then if something went wrong, get in trouble.
I bit my lip, why take the blame? Better to be safe than sorry.
“What do I look like a servant?” I asked crossing my arms and realised, I probably did with my uniform. Before he spoke I turned around heading to the back where there was the garden party being held. They had to be there right?
If not in the ball room then at the food reception. As I neared around the corner, I finally saw Alex, standing next to some minister talking.
The doors opened as I entered up to him grabbing my jacket off and shrugging it on.
“Took your time,”
“I got lost,” I replied as he started walking to the front of the podium, “Anyways I’m here now what’s the hurry anyways,”
“The prince is about to come,”
“Didn’t he already come?” I asked confused, wasn’t that the whole big deal before?
Alex raised an eyebrow as he stood opposite me, well don’t look at me like that, I never saw him. Alex took his spot and I took mine beside him, basically blocking of the stairs only for those allowed inside.
“No that was his father, the king, he comes now,” he said as the double doors were open. Right, does that mean I had to sneeze again?
I held back a smile at that, I wonder what the prince would do if I sneezed, it was just a sneeze damn it.
I watched the guards as they arranged in a formation, which was pretty cool and started marching up to the stairs. Thy stopped, the front two turning to the side saluting and walking off, this repeated till all twenty guards left leaving only one person there. Which was a lot for one person, twenty really?
Deep in my thought I realised Alex stepped aside and I quickly did that too looking up and my jaw nearly dropping as green eyes met mine.
He smiled back he walked up the stairs, but not before whispering something to Alex, his green eyes clearly narrowing at me as he spoke telling Alex some secret.
And suddenly my dislike for the man shot up. If he looked like a prince, I wouldn’t have made that mistake.
First of all, what a jerk, tattletale much?
Second of all, or Secondally, I was going to be hanged.