It’s weird exchanging a kiss with someone that you see every day. You expect it to be brought up in conversation but it doesn’t, not a single word is mentioned and it’s like nothing happened to begin with. Cameron kissed me, I kissed him back, and that was it. Nothing has changed, nor have he asked to talk about it.
The kiss changed a lot for me, though. I’m now eager to go to work and see Cameron, secretly hoping that he will bring the kiss up in conversation so I knew what was going on between us, but nothing.
I have spent way too much time since that day thinking about possible outcomes and wondering what Cameron is thinking. But nothing had come out of it.
The kiss happened two weeks ago. Two freaking weeks with no answers to this day. I was doing whatever I could to keep my mind off of him, but nothing could keep me from having him drift into my thoughts.
“Where’s Cameron?” I asked Zoey as I walked into work on a Thursday evening. I was hoping to finish earlier today so I can go home and study for a biology test that I have tomorrow. This entire week had been exhausting and until today, I forgot about the test being tomorrow. I’m not exactly sure if Cameron will be okay with that since it’s already crazy busy here, the bar is around 75% full.
Zoey lifts her head to look at me and smiles, “Not sure. He was around here an hour ago. Maybe he went to get something from the supply closet?”
I opened my mouth to ask another question but Zoey’s attention was taken by a customer and she turned to face him. My eyes scanned the crowd of people but there was no sight of Cameron which led me to believe that Zoey was right. A part of me thinks that the supply closet would be the best place to talk to him anyway, it’s private and no one would be able to hear us over the sound of the music.
He isn’t there, though. Zoey would have mentioned if she had seen him leave but she made it clear that he’s here which only left one place. The room that made me weak in the knees because of how often it occurred in my dreams recently as embarrassing as it is to admit.
I knock on his door and press my ear against the surface to hear a reply but it was silent. My mind tells me not to open the door but I’m stupid and I do it anyway. Instantly, I regret it. Cameron’s bed is right across from the door and my eyes instantly fall on the girl who’s on top of him, moving her body like there’s no tomorrow.
The moans somehow manage to drown out the music from the bar and it’s clear that their attention had been caught because Cameron’s arms wrap around the girls body as he sits up and looks towards the door.
“Olivia? What the fu--”
I close the door quickly and runs as far away from his bedroom door that I can. I’m breathless by the time I reach the front door and into the crisp Chicago air. I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid.
This made me hate myself for overthinking the kiss for the past two weeks, clearly it meant nothing to him. He kissed me to play me like he did with every other girl and I fell right into the charm of stupid, charismatic Cameron.
I shivered, feeling cold after leaving my jacket in the staff room. This stupid required uniform was terrible to go outside in and I’m now too ashamed to go back inside. Maybe Zoey heard me making a fool of myself, or worse, Cameron could be looking for me.
“What the fuck was that?” Cameron’s voice yelled in frustration as the door to the bar closed behind him, “You don’t go in my fucking room, Olivia. Can I not have any privacy?”
I turn to look at him and raise my hands in defense, “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think that you would be fucking some girl during business hours. Clearly I didn’t think.”
“No, you didn’t think.” He points out as he shakes his head in an annoyed manner, “If you needed something you should have waited until I was available.”
“I said I’m sorry!” I raised my voice at him, allowing my feelings to show more than I intended to.
Cameron stepped towards me. He looked angry, clearly not being happy about being interrupted during sex, “What is your problem? You jealous?”
My eyes narrow at him, clenching my jaw at his words, “Screw you, Cameron.”
“What, I kiss you once and you suddenly think I’m yours?” He smirks, an obnoxious smirk, might I add. His ego is far bigger than I knew and it makes me hate him for his choice of words.
“You’re an asshole,” I snap, “You know, for a second I actually thought you had a decent bone on your body. Jokes on me, right? Who kisses someone without having any kind of emotion towards them?”
“Every fucking person in the world!” Cameron’s arms flail as he yells, not hiding how irritated he is with me, “You had two weeks to say something to me and you didn’t. I’m not going to hold out and wait for you to make a move, or even mention it. I don’t wait for people. Especially women.”
Was it possible that I should have confronted him? Cameron’s my boss and me making a move on him just seemed highly inappropriate. I can’t answer him, I don’t have the words that seem to fit right now. I look away, shivering from the cold.
“Get to work, Olivia.” He mutters before returning to the bar and not taking another glance at me.
I was at a loss for words. Somehow my anger towards Cameron had turned into anger towards myself. Maybe I should have said something before but it’s hard to talk to someone about you feelings when you’re not even sure what you feel.
This entire situation has changed. I was supposed to quit and get as far away from Cameron as I could but now I was conflicted on my feelings for him. Maybe there aren’t any feelings to begin with, it’s simply just the infatuation of a bad boy. That’s all it could possibly be because nothing else about Cameron is remotely attractive. He’s a jerk and the unfortunate truth is that girls tend to be attracted to bad boys who least deserves the attention they get.