~Just a little heads up, you are reading a first draft of the story.~
I dedicate this book to Whiskeyqueenn aka Author Rachelle Mills. Her book “The Girl Who Stole My World” inspired me in a lot of ways than one. It taught me to live through the pain and be strong. This plot has nothing to do with her story if you are wondering. I’ve already discussed the plot with her and has her blessings <3.
Hope you’ll like this read like you enjoy my other reads.
P.S.: If you are expecting my writing style to be like Whiskeyqueenn, it's not. Lol. There is only one Rachelle Mills.
Song: Adele - Hello
“Cry as much as you want to, but make sure when you’re finished, you never cry for the same reason again.” - Wiz Khalifa.
I watched as his hand came around my sister’s waist. His eyes crinkled as he laughed at something she said. My eyes watered as he pecked her lips before dipping her. Their friends cheered around us. Our parents were smiling at them with pride and joy.
And here I am, wallowing and withering in my misery. How am I supposed to rejoice when I know it should’ve been me sitting beside him? What did I ever do to deserve this?
Am I not good? No. He would’ve chosen me if I were good.
It was their engagement party. It should’ve been mine.
As everyone proceeded to the dining hall, Brian’s eyes never strayed from her face. He looked at her with so much adoration. I couldn’t help but remember those same greens used to look at me like that once. His eyes now twinkled with joy in contrast to the pain in mine.
They appeared to be so much in love. I took a deep breath and looked down at my plate, trying to hold in my tears. Even the food is to her liking. The Alfredo sauce was too cheesy for my taste. Honestly, I preferred plain pasta over this any day.
Her bridesmaids were laughing and chatting in high-pitched tones. I am not one of them. She didn’t ask me. Or no one ever asked why I wasn’t in the list.
My throat clogged and I forced my eyes down to not look at them and succeeded for a whole minute. However, my eyes had different plans because it went to the newly engaged couple again. My heart broke into million pieces as he kissed her sparkling ring. It’s too much.
“Excuse me.” I stood to leave, all eyes turned to me for a second. Not that they cared. After all, I am not their precious child. It’s always her. Who’d choose a rebellious kid over a Disney princess anyway?
My eyes locked with Brian for a brief moment and he turned to my sister casually, ignoring me. The table was filled with laughter as I tried to walk around to get out with the little dignity I am left with. No one tried to stop me as I rushed out of the crowded dining hall. Every one I’ve known growing up was here.
Did he not feel any remorse for leading me like that? I choked on a sob as the door closed behind me. Next, I did what everyone expects a girl would do, especially the Disney princess. I threw myself on the bed and cried my heart out.
Does it feel good? No.
The day I met Brian was still clear in my memory. It was a rough day and I had just another incident with my sister’s friends. I was running to my car when I stumbled onto a stranger with sparkling green eyes. The black T-shirt he wore hugged his chiselled body like a second skin.
There was something about his smile. Yes–that’s what drew me in. I couldn’t look away when his face lit up like a Christmas tree. Damn those dimples. I could fall over and over again on them and I wouldn’t mind.
Who knew it’d lead to my downfall?
I’ve thought about my short lived relationship with Brian too many times to count. Did I misunderstand his polite gesture? I did not misinterpret his attention. The words were clear. “Arianna, will you go out with me tonight?” That was his words.
It wasn’t her name he spoke. It was mine. What changed?
I’ll never know. Looks like five months isn’t enough to understand a person. In the end, the time we spend together didn’t matter. She was all mattered to him. A perfect wife for his socialite life.
All those time we spend together, he never uttered her name, except for one day when I finally realized I had no place in his heart. I breathed through my mouth as the pain became unbearable. What do I do to take this pain away? I couldn’t breath and wanted to scream my lungs out.
My thoughts were a disarray. I couldn’t focus on one thing. I am a mess. His laugh, soft touch, his eyes occupied my mind. Did he knew how I felt when he got on one knee? For her.
As if on cue, my thought horses pulled me back to the day my life came apart.
The light glittered as we were dancing in yet another party hosted by my parents. While I wasn’t fond of their themed parties, being here with Brian made it magical. The eighties music filled the air as the floor lit up with multi-coloured lights.
My legs moved in rhythm as I watched Brian share the dance floor with his sister, Kaylee. I wondered why he haven’t paid much attention towards me tonight. Maybe it’s because his family is here, I told myself. They weren’t fond of me.
Brian always kept his distance from me in the presence of his parents. That didn’t sit well with me. I did my best to win them over, but it’s not my fault they don’t see me for what I am. I longed to be by his side, for him to make our relationship public. It was later I found out that my parents were friends with his parents. The knowledge wasn’t pleasant since his mom disliked me from childhood. Alana, my twin was her favorite.
As the time went on, I went to take a seat at the table, looking around the guests. Then, I noticed my sister, Alana, making her way towards Brian. His mother hugged the Disney princess and introduced them.
Foreboding set in the pit of my stomach as their eyes met. Something changed. My eyes doesn’t want to believe what they were seeing. The change in Brian’s attitude was too obvious. When their dance began, Brian’s hands were all over her body. The sound of my heart became too much for my own ears.
No. Just stay calm. It’s just a dance.
But, was it? He never looked at her that way before. Brian had met her twice before and he knew how I felt about her.
Keep calm, Arianna. You are just jealous.
However, deep down, I knew my worst fear was becoming a reality.
A loud sob erupt from my throat as I rushed to my bathroom. I peeled off the velvet mini dress, dropping it on the floor. I felt nothing when the cold water cascaded around my body. All I could see and feel were Brian and Alana in each other’s arms.
My life had become a living hell in the past few weeks after their dramatic engagement. Brian didn’t even had the decency to break up with me before proposing to my sister. Alana–she was a lost cause.
Despite us being twins, we were anything but similar. While she was the good one, I turned out to be the bad one. We were the opposites then and grew apart. Our socialite parents never had time for us.
I knew why Brian chose her. Alana went to become a business graduate while I, the rebellious runt of the family chose journalism, much to their chagrin. They weren’t pleased because they wanted me to follow their footsteps. An involuntary shiver ran through my body and I look down to notice my pruned skin.
“Why did you do it? You, bastard, you lead me on and made me believe we were a real thing. How could you do this?”
The conversation aftermath their engagement came at me with a full force.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Arianna. I’ve always loved your sister.” Brian’s act of innocence stirred my anger.
“Liar! Why take me on a date then? Why would you kiss me?”
“I kissed you because I thought you were Alana. Nothing more.” His voice holds no remorse as he spoke. In my peripheral vision, I see a shadow and my spine stiffen. Even without looking I could tell who it is.
“You know exactly who I was. Stop this nonsense now.”
Brian exhaled as his eyes lock with mine. The pale greens held no emotion. “That was before I met her.”
I felt my body stiffen at his words. “You didn’t even have the decency to break up with me before proposing to my sister.”
“I hate to break it to you, Arianna. But, we were never a thing.”
I grounded my teeth and balled my fists. The shadow–Alana–stood unmoving in her spot. Knowing her, she might’ve probably had a hand in this too.
“Alana was the girl I was supposed to meet that day. Meeting you was an accident. Look, I thought we were good. But, things changed.”
I felt used. How did I not see this? Just as I opened my mouth to respond, Alana intervened. “He don’t have to answer for all your questions. If you are done talking with my fiancée, we are getting late for bed.”
“I won’t cry again,” my lips mumbled as I dried myself. It hurt. But, I also knew that he wasn’t worth my tears. I had to move on. I had to get out of this wretched place that had been my home for years. Except, it never felt like home. It never will.
One may ask, why I have to run. Why can’t I stay and fight it. But, isn’t it the first thing that comes into everyone’s mind? To run away and hide from all the problems.
Half an hour and another break down later, I found my clothes scattered around the floor of my room, a few hanging on the ceiling fan. “I’m stronger than this.” Only words came out of my mind while otherwise I felt like shit. I didn’t feel like sleeping. I didn’t want to go out either.
I had two months to get over him, but tonight proved me that I’m still hung up on him. I just didn’t know how to erase the memory of us. Perhaps, I trusted him too much.
Argh! What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just get over him and do my thing?
A distant vibration caught my attention and I crawled towards my bed where I had dropped my mobile earlier. Michael?
“Hey,” my voice was somewhat bold, but I knew he’d read between the lines without trouble.
“Should you be always this stubborn?” His worried voice filled my ears.
A genuine smile made it to my lips on hearing his voice. That’s what friends do, right? Good friends always brings smile to your lips. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“I’m not going to cry over him, Mike.”
“Yeah, and I just rode home on my unicorn.”
“Mike…” My voice rang out in warning. I wasn’t in a mood to banter. It was already past midnight.
“You need a break. Accept it.”
“I need a break.”
“Good. I’m coming over tomorrow and we’re leaving for a trip.”
“Okay. But, I have to be here for the wedding in three weeks.”
When he disconnected the call, a deep sigh left my lips, wondering what was on his mind.