4| Something In The Rain-Part II
"What're you-" I started but was cut off when he started to drag me with him.
"It's enough. Let's go now." He replied, taking me with him.
I looked at him in confusion. "But-"
"Shut up and just come with me, will you!?" He suddenly barked at me and I felt the anger rising in his voice.
Nevertheless, I put my hand over his hand clutching my wrist and tried to release myself from his grasp. But his fingers didn't budge one inch from his grip. I sighed loudly and tried again but due to the rain, my fingers were slipping over his knuckles while he continued to drag me with him.
"Let go of my hand, Heath! You've been treating me so roughly this whole night, do you even know that?!"
He stopped in the middle and turned towards me. "Why do you think I've been doing this in the first place?!"
I opened my mouth to speak but closed it seeing that arguing with him was not going to make anything right between both of us. But I still tried to free myself of his grasp and he tighetened his hold on me.
I could see my knuckles turning white because of the interruption of blood flow to my veins and I bit my lips to stop myself from wincing. "It hurts! Why do you keep on taking out your anger on me?! What did I do wrong-"
"It hurts, right?! That's how it's supposed to feel right here." He placed his palm over his heaving chest. "And that's how you should feel too!"
My brows furrowed at his words. "I don't understand! What's that supposed to mean-"
"Who told you to speak your thoughts out right there?! Do I look like a fool to you that I can't speak for myself?! Do you really have to make everything worse by spilling your sympathy for me, in front of her?!"
The word 'her' rolled out of his mouth like a venom coating the syllables and I wondered how much time it actually takes to hate someone you once used to love.
Or he still loved her, probably.
"I just wanted to ask her why she did to you!"
"I don't need your help! I can do that myself-"
"I wasn't helping you! She was my sister way before she was your fiancee and I just wanted to ask her some questions which had been bugging me all this time-"
"So you decided to disrespect me and went ahead to destroy my dignity only to satisfy your curiousity?!"
"I didn't do it out of curiousity, Heath! What the hell is wrong with you?! I was just taking your side there-"
"Like I said, I don't need your help! Not from someone, the likes of you, who happnes to be the sister of some illegal kind!"
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Look I know you've been hurt and I totally understand your feelings but she is my sister and I won't tolerate you speaking-"
"No you don't understand! That's the problem, Scarlett! That's the bloody fiasco! You think it as some family drama you've been seeing your whole life! Besides, why'd you understand it anyway?!" His eyes looked down on me in disdain. "My fault to blame you! It's not like you know anything about love besides what you read about rotten trashy fantasies in your gibberish romance novels!"
I glared at him. "Don't judge me without knowing me!"
"I don't have to know you to judge you, Scarlett. You're just so easy to read. Like an open book. I don't have to glance at you twice to understand what made you fucking sad or kinky-"
"Shut up! You don't know a fucking shit about me! I was a fool to think that people like you can have a heart! Like they say, rich will always be weak at emotions-"
"Just as poor will always have fetish for gossips! Is that why you started to get curious about my love life out there?! Is that why you took extreme pleasure in insulting my already bruised ego in front of her?!"
"Insulting your ego?! When did I... When did I..." I took a deep breath to calm myself. "You've gone mad! What's wrong with you?! What's gotten into you, Heath?!"
"What's wrong with me?! Are you asking me this?! Have you ever asked yourself what'd you do if the person you love is happy with someone else who's not you?! Have you?! No, Hazel. How could you ever ask yourself this question when you know you wouldn't survive a day of hell to see all that happening in front of you?!"
I couldn't take it anymore. With my free hand, I roughly grabbed his collar, and the few front buttons of the white fabric snapped loose and fell on the ground. I saw his eyes widen with surprise at my unexpected action. He left my wrist and I used it to now grab his collar with both of my hands, the tips of my fingers touching his bare neck.
"I told you to stop judging me when you don't know anything about me."
His frowned at my words and grabbed both of my arms instead, pushing me towards him. "I've known you for eight long years, Scarlett. Do you think it's possible to escape my notice about any of your potential lovers? Or boyfriends?" He shook his head and stared right into my eyes. "No. Because you didn't have any."
I laughed low as his face. "And you didn't wonder why I didn't have any, right? Because you thought I'm not a woman? Or I don't feel anything for a man? Or I can't ever feel anything for anyone?"
"I made you a woman you are right now, Hazel. Eight years ago, you weren't even sure where you would be in your future after you graduated from the college. You should be thankful to me-"
"Oh please, woman? You don't even treat me as one!"
"You shoudn't need to be treated like a woman to feel as one."
"Yeah? I should feel like a woman when you overwork my ass for 16 hours a day, making me clean after your mess including making me go to your house to announce how much you hate your family, your father, your mother, your sister, that's why you couldn't attend the family dinner your mother hosts in the hope that her son would one day realise how much his family actually loves him! Don't you even realize how much it actually takes it in me to say all that shit to your family in the most generous way as possible!? I'm sure they hate me because of you now!"
"That's your job, Scarlett! You are my secretary-"
I tighetend my fingers around his collar. "That's what I'm trying to remind you. I'm your secretary! Your PA. Not your servant! The way you treat me, any other person would've left this job a long time ago-"
"I never told you to keep working for me anyway! You do this because you want it!"
"I do this because I have my reasons! Don't behave like you know me very well!" I glared at him and he put his hands around my fingers clutching his collar, pulling my fingers away from his shirt.
"You keep talking informally to me, it's getting on my nerves now!"
"You started it first-" I defended myself, clutching his collar tightly around my fingers.
"I think I've done the biggest mistake in my life by ever confiding you my secrets! I should've treated you like a poor sick soul of a servant you are! They say right, never try to keep the shoe you wear, on your head and I think I'm realizing the essence of that quote by now only!"
Damn, that hurt a little.
I didn't know what came on me but the hand clutching his collar, now collided with the side of his face with such an intensity we both stood still afterwards, not saying anything to each other. His face was slightly turned to his side, his cheek turning white from the prints of my fingers.
We stood staring at each other in the rain, his eyes widening as a whole, realizing the gravity of the situation while my hand was on my side, stinging like I was struck with lightening as I could feel my fingers shaking from what I just did.
Our chests were heaving heavily as the each breath we took was the reminder of the lingering hate we both had on our eyes for each other.
Or perhaps, his hatred was for Kiara who cheated on him with some rag he didn't see deserving of her than himself, who was willing to do anything for her.
While mine was for myself who hated herself for loving the person standing in front of me, the person like him who changed so much in just a year.
"You really don't realize what influence I have on you? Or on your future, right?" He asked, glaring at me, his voice laced with controlled rage while he took one step towards me.
I took one step back, glaring back at him. "You think I care about my future after I had been living like a servant for a person like you for eight years?!"
"You talk about respecting the person in heirarchy and power and yet you don't respect your own boss?!" He said, taking another step towards me and for a second, I flinched seeing his eyes darkening with burning rage but I continued on anyway, taking two steps back from him.
"You don't need to be respected to feel as a boss, Heath." I said, eyeing him warily as his gaze flickered down my face, to my half-exposed heaving chest, lingering there for longer than I expected. His tempting gaze then shifted to my bare thighs and legs, leaving a trail of tingle down my burning core, making me feel hot and uncomfortable under his intense stare.
"You talk about being treated as a woman when the state you are in right now, makes me think you'd suit to be treated as someone employed to give pleasure instead."
He called me a prostitute. A slut!
I grinded my teeth in frustration. "You know what?! Thanks for reminding me you were my boss and you hold key to my future and blah blah blah..." I took two steps towards him and stood erect facing him, my eyes reflecting rage and determination. "'Cause then I wouldn't have realized how much I actually hate men like you."
"Men like me?"
"Yes. Men like you! Men who pretend to be strong and dominant only over someone they know are actually employed under them and they never leave a single opportunity, or rather I dare say, a day, to bully and assault them-"
"But when a real power comes to stand in front of them, they behave like a frightened deer, afraid of the tiger in the bushes, afraid when it'll swallow the life out of them while they continue being pathetic and clingy to the power they know they can never win against!"
"Are you talking about my father?!"
"Yes! We both know how much power he actually holds against you-"
"He doesn't hold any power against me! He just likes to humiliate me in front of public reunions and make my sister the star of everything!"
"Because your sister holds much potential than you! And you know you can never win against her even though you'd try your best, only to get defeated by her again and again-"
"Don't utter a word about it, you understand?! Otherwise I won't sit still. You'll have more than your job to sacrifice if you mess with me?!"
I didn't believe I was hearing him, out of all the persons I expected, to say this to me. "What can you do besides killing me? You can't even keep the girl you love by your side and you talk about threatning someone? Especially me? Or wait, did you actually forgot I used to do these filthy tricks for you 'cause you didn't want to get your hands dirty. You still remember it right? Or should I remind you, just some two weeks ago, about the salesman of the Carter Estates you made me threaten which made him a whistle-blower of his department and as a result, the whole branch of that Estates went down after being accused for corruption, dropping their shares tax in the market and you took advantage of-"
"Shut up. Are you actually blackmailing me?!"
"No, No, Mr Evercrest, how can someone as lowly, the sick soul of a servant as me, would dare to blackmail someone as rich and powerful of a billionare as you? I was just reminding you that my hands are as dirty as these pretty innocent hand of yours which order me around to complete all these tricky inhumane tasks you give me everyday."
I walked closer to him, buttoning the upper few buttons of his shirt which fell open and weren't broken, when I grabbed his collar. "And I also wanted to remind you to now look out, watch out for yourself, get a hold of yourself in time when you can, and look back to see how much you've changed past these years to actually threaten me."
"You were not my friend. I admit. But I know. That I was your friend. That true friend you can trust your life with. That type of a person I was for you. And I am glad you gave me that position in your life." I whispered, my lips close to his, before I put my head on his chest, hearing the sound of his heartbeat, almost hugging him. He stood still, not making any movement, his hands on his side, water from the rain dripping from his fingertips.
When I didn't see him making any movement, I turned on my heels and started to walk away from him but I felt a tug from behind. Turning back, I lifted my gaze to see him holding my hand, just by my index finger.
I looked at him in confusion. "What're you doing?"
"You're coming with me."
I looked at him as if he had gone insane. "I'm not going anywhere with you." I made myself clear. "And if you're worried I'll embarass you and your feelings in front of Kiara, I assure you, I won't talk to her ever again."
"Why wouldn't you talk to Kiara? Isn't she your sister? Are you doing it for me?"
I sighed loudly. "All this time, I had been doing things for you, Heath. Many things." I looked at him. "Now I want to stop."
"Why?" He looked at me in confusion.
"I just don't think it's good for both of us." I pulled my index finger out of his grasp. "And yes, one more thing." Placing my hands under my purse, I searched it throughly before pulling out a light yellow envelope with his company seal, which became wet the moment I pulled it out, and placed it on his hand.
He turned it back and forth to look what it was but the rain was making it almost impossible for him to comprehend it.
"What is it?" He said, eyeing the envelope.
I took a deep breath, praying for some miracle to stop my tears from spilling out in front of him. I had been humiliated enough already. I didn't want to be treated as a frail servant by him anymore. "My resignation letter."
His eyes furrowed. "What?"
"I'm quitting." When he eyed me with confusion, I decided to elaborate. "I'm leaving this job, if that makes you understand the meaning of this letter."
"Oh, so you've decided to put me back in place by emotional blackmail now? I didn't know you'd stoop that low to achieve your goals, Scarlett."
"I'm not stooping anywhere, Mr Evercrest. I had been meaning to give that letter to you for a long time-"
"I don't know. Maybe three years. Maybe four. I just don't remember anymore. All I knew was I don't want to do this job anymore. I've always wanted to do something that I'd love to do. Something that would make me happy. But I saw I couldn't do it if I continued working 16 hours a day."
"You can still do what you want while working for me."
"Says the one who threatened me just some minutes ago." I saw guilt in his eyes and averted my gaze. "Anyway, you won't understand it and I'm tired of making everyone understand me. Now if you'd excuse me sir, I had my pet to attend do, back at my apartment."
I knew he didn't like it when I talked to him so formally. The look in his face told me everything. But he was now a stranger for me anyway so I thought it didn't make any excpetion. "If you didn't want to work for me anymore, why'd you keep working against your wish all these years?"
"I have my reasons, Mr Evercrest. I hope you understand. Good night." I told him and turned again to walk down the street. The wet clothes stuck and felt slick against my cold body and I pulled my dress down my thighs a little to hide my bare legs.
I knew it was a mistake to wear half-naked dress on his bachelerrete party but he was the one who insisted me to put this on in the first place. He didn't want me to look simple among such rich and powerful people.
He said I represented his image. And so for the very first time in my life, I decided to be the woman I am, for his sake.
It was the truth that I wanted to quit this job, and I had wanted to do it for so long. I didn't know why I kept on pushing myself against my capability to serve him the best way as possible.
I guessed meeting and loving him was the ruin of my life.
I was asked to quit this job by my step father anyway. He asked me to do this favour to my step-sister Kiara. That when she would get married to Heath, it wouldn't look good if I would continue to be with him as his PA since then he'd become my brother-in-law.
He said people'd talk things behind our back. Though I don't care the hell for those stupid society and its patriarchal stereotypical people, I did care for my sister and my mother's husband.
My step-father. I decided to improve my relations with him that day and he decided to test my loyalty by asking the toughest favor from me.
Writing my resignation letter.
Also, I knew he was starting to get suspicious of my feelings for Heath. He kept secret eye on me. He dug my things and searched my apartment in my absence.
I knew I couldn't convince him out of his doubts. If he was worrying about his daughter, I wouldn't blame him for that.
Besides, which father would want any woman, who happened to be his other daughter just by some stupid legal paper, to destroy his real daughter's household and marriage?
He saw me as a threat in his daughter's marriage. It was true I had feelings for Heath, but I wasn't planning to tell him anytime soon. I didn't want to be a threat to his marriage.
But how could I ever tell my father that I loved my sister as much as my I loved my own mother?
So to ease him out of his doubts, I wrote my resignation letter in front of him, the night I learned Heath slept with Kiara after proposing her and she agreed to the marriage.
Because I didn't see any reason not to follow the advise of my step-father anymore.
Just as I was about to turn around the corner, I felt a strong pull and I stumbled in my steps. Once again, I saw Heath holding my hand, but this time, something in his touch made me feel warm and I found I never hated him in the first place.
I could never hate him. And that's why I was quitting everything related to him. Everything that reminded me of him.
"So what are your reasons?" He asked, holding the letter in his hand, breathing heavily. His tuxedo was off and I saw him holding his black blazer in his hands instead. His cheeks were flushed from rain probably, and he took one or two seconds to catch his breath.
Was he running after me?
"I don't have anything to tell you." I told him and started to walk ahead of him.
"I won't sign this letter unless you tell me why're you doing this." He told me and stopped me again by my arms.
He really needed to stop grabbing me everywhere!
"I wrote every possible reason inside that letter." I pointed my finger to the spoiled letter in his hand. "But seeing it's not in any state to be comprehended, I'd type another one and send it to you by mail. Or do you want it by post?"
"I know it's all lie in this pathetic piece of a paper." He eyed the letter with disgust before throwing it in the pile of mud nearby. "So instead of wasting both of our times, why don't you tell me the real reason?"
"Real reason? You think there is some real reason behind my resignation, other than I don't want to do this job anymore? Then... "I stopped walking and faced him. "...Why do you think I'm quitting this job, Heath. You tell me." I crossed my arms across my chest and stared at him.
"Because I've changed?" He tried, gauging my reaction.
"Nice try. Maybe another time." I started to walk but he ran after me, and stood in front.
"Because I...became a jerk? To you? To my family?" When I didn't seem convinced, and was about to walk away again, he said," Wait wait! Is it because I never apologized to you for treating you badly all this time?"
I stifled a smile. "If you think apology is the thing I want from you, you'd have to rethink my standard as a woman."
"What's the reason if it's not the-"
"Why're you so interested in knowing my reasons? You never showed interest in me or my problems before." The words slipped out of my lips before I could stop them and I closed my eyes for my stupid mistake.
"Because you never showed interest in quitting before. You were always so devoted and so on time, I never thought you'd ever want to leave your job." His lips curved into a half-smile. "I thought you loved working for me. I almost felt proud of me as a boss, seeing you arriving at work so happily you actually cheered the other employees of the department."
"Just because I smile, doesn't mean I'm doing it because I want to do it. It just happened that way."
"You should've told me if it was too hard on you to work beyond office hours. I thought you wanted to work more because you didn't leave your desk even after 9 PM. So I gave you more work."
I stopped walking making him stop as well. "I waited for you to get off the work." I whispered faintly.
"What did you say? I didn't quite hear it correctly..." He shifted closer to me, towards my face.
I looked up at him, my face getting hot. My ears were red from the embarrassment and my palms felt sweaty inspite of the rain.
"I said I...I... waited for you to get off the work. I was ...worried you might faint from overworking yourself and so I thought, if I'd be outside guarding your back, you wouldn't feel you're alone."
"Hazel." I heard him say and I averted my gaze to look at the nearby wall. "I overwok myself because I want to defeat my sister. My father thinks I can't bring any good to him and his company which he passed over to me unwillingly-"
"I know. I know he didn't want to do it because he never trusted you. He wanted your sister to take over. But she was married already so he had to eventually pass it on to you because of his bad health. I know why you don't love your father. I also know you actually want to love your father but you just could not. But I couldn't help it, you know. I just don't feel good seeing you suffering alone in this."
"Why? You don't even know me properly." He asked and I glared at him. "Okay. You do. A lot. But still, why'd you worry about me?"
"Because you're my source of income?" I saw his face scrunching into disgust. "As you said. According to you, of course." I completed and walked towards the main road.
"Then what's according to what you'd like to say?"
"No comments. I just do. There are some people we become habitual of caring for because we see them everyday. We interact with them everyday. And we know we will see them our whole life, so we actually develop to ignore their flaws and accept them. This way they become our family." I glanced sideways at him. "You are the same for me."
"I'm your family?" I could feel the amusement in his voice.
"After you threatened to kill me, no you're not. Not anymore."
He didn't say anything for a while. Just continued to walk side by side with me. And I decided not to break this silence. I didn't even know why he came after me.
"You still didn't tell me your reasons."
"I was going to. But I chose not to."
"If you're worried about your new PA, I have kept the loads of profiles of experienced professional PAs who have trained in better environment for this service, with Mrs Rothy. You can have those profiles from her anytime you want and read them thoroughly to decide who you want to be your next P-"
"I asked you a question, Scarlett." He demanded.
I ignored him and continued with my advise. "And you know a very interesting thing. They can fight too. I mean they can use their fists. I used to be very sorry when you'd require to hire the bodyguard for your safety-"
"You're not answering the question!" He snapped at me, his temper suddenly rising, but I ignored him again, hoping he would do the same.
"-And I always wanted to protect the the powerful men. You know, like superwoman. It was my dream. To be the protector of the galaxy. It would've been cool if I could protect you as well-"
"I asked you the damn fucking question to answer!"
"I don't want to answer you!" I snapped at him.
"Why do you keep on going against everything I say?!" He cornered me against the wall, pressing my back against the cemented concerte.
"I just don't like to follow your orders everywhere! It makes me feel stuffed!"
"I wasn't ordering you-"
"You always do! Hazel, do this! Hazel, do that! Hazel, I want to do this for me! It's the last task I'm giving you! And guess what? It never happnes to be the last! It fucking never does! I'm fed up with you and your-"
"So that's why you're quitting your job?!"
"I don't want to answer you! Leave me alone!" I pushed him away from his chest, and started to walk faster. I could hear him coming after me and I increased my pace.
In normal shoes, I never doubted my legs but these heels were killing me already. I knew I'd be a limping mess the moment I reach my apartment.
Now I just wanted to go home, remove these wet clothes, take a hot shower, make a hot coffee, drink it and watch some romantic comedy drama all night until I fell asleep.