“I’m so sorry Renny,” Sadie pouts, brushing a strand of her purple hair away from her face. I sigh and shrug my shoulders. “Blame our stupid teacher. If he was an actual, sympathetic human being, I would have said yes within a heartbeat.”
“Yeah, what a douche,” I comment, giving her a side hug. “I can send you pictures though. And you can think of me sunbathing under the hot, gorgeous sun.”
Sadie gives me a sad look and stretches out her arm for me to see. “Look at that skin,” she says incredulously, pinching her pale skin together. “It’s so...ugh. I need a tan.”
“Sadie, you never tan.” I remind her, rolling my eyes. She narrows her eyes and lightly slaps my shoulder.
“That’s mean. And for your information, I do tan.” She shoots back, tilting her head back for emphasis. I purse my lips and shake my head in laughter.
I’ll let this one slide because I know Sadie is too stubborn to give this up.
“So who are you going to take then?” Sadie asks, changing the topic.
I lean against the wall near me and release an exhausted breath. After my mom announced - well demanded - she wanted me to return home for a brief visit, I was up thinking about Kai. Yeah, I know, sad.
But I messed up and I knew it.
If I wanted a chance with Kai, then I needed to sort this mess out somehow. Because I do like Kai and I do want a chance with him.
“I don’t know.” And I really don’t. I could ask Sophia but I have a feeling she’ll say no due to her busy life. Perhaps Ben? But I don’t know him very well. As nice and friendly as Ben is, I think it would be quite awkward. Plus, what would my parents say? They’d think Ben and I were together.
And you don’t want them to think that because of Kai...
“You want to invite Kai, don’t you?” Sadie questions, almost like she can read my thoughts.
“No,” is my instant reply. Sadie arches an unconvinced eyebrow, giving me an ‘are you being freaking serious?’ look. “No, I don’t. Why would I want to invite him? That’s ridiculous. Ludicrous I tell you!”
Am I coming off as crazy? Possibly -- most definitely probably.
I mean, what can you expect from me? I’m not normal, I function like a potato. Can they function? I guess they can...what am I saying?
I think I need to dip my head in some ice cold water. That should bring me back to reality to this place.
Sadie, who doesn’t seem to notice my inner turmoil, pinches her lips together. “I don’t even know anymore.” She mutters under her breath, giving me a look of disapproval.
I should hate disappointing her but I don’t because I don’t really care about that sort of thing. I go with the flow - I don’t worry about what others think. It’s a good way to live but it can mean I don’t think about other people’s emotions...specifically my friends.
"You!" She hisses, causing me to blink in shock. “You’re so...so...ugh. Why can’t you admit that you like him because you do! You want him to go. You need to stop being stubborn. Its time you put your big girl panties on.”
Woah. Where on earth did that come from?
Sadie has never, ever, shouted at me like that before. It’s foreign territory for me. I’ve never seen her so mad before either. She’s normally so calm and collected but right now, she’s so not.
“I -” I don’t even know what to say.
Sadie huffs and leans against the wall next to me. “You and Kai have chemistry, anyone can see it. You should give him a chance.”
You should give him a chance. I know, I want to. I really, really want to.
“You know,” Sadie starts, hesitantly. “Not every guy is like Michael. You might find this hard to believe, but they’re not all douches.”
It’s hard to believe when you always hear things and witness things. My friends have amazing relationships, with people who love them dearly. I wish I would stop falling for the assholes and start finding someone who actually values me for who I am. Michael was an idiot. All those guys I chased after at high school were assholes. None of them were worthy of me.
God, I really need to start thinking like this.
“Yeah...” I mumble, releasing an exhausted breath.
Sadie clucks her tongue and drags a hand through her hair. All of a sudden, my phone pings in my pocket, alerting me of a new message. Whipping out my phone, I unlock it to find a message from Anna.
[Anna] Just heard your visiting home! So excited! I hope you bring that man back!
[Me] What man? I never said I had a man.
[Anna] You so do! It’s obvious. You’re not very good at hiding things.
I wish I was. Lying just isn’t one of my talents.
I reply to Anna, telling her that I was excited to see her and told her I had a lesson soon. She said goodbye, leaving the conversation at that.
“Oh look, there he is now,” Sadie remarks, her voice bubbly and excited. My eyes followed her trail of sight and landed on Kai. I sucked in a nervous breath, whilst my heart pounded in my chest. I wanted to go up to him and apologize so badly.
His blonde hair was messy, messier than usual. He looked tired too. The bags under his eyes were prominent. I wonder what caused this. Could it have something to do with me?
I try and make eye contact with him, hoping to get his attention. For a split second, he catches my eye but before I can even show him the look of guilt in my eyes, he turns away and speeds up.
Well, there goes that.
“I think you had that coming, Ren.” Sadie comments, speaking my mind. I sigh sadly and keep my eyes trained on Kai’s back. How was I going to get his attention? If he won’t even look at me, I don’t see how I’m going to have a conversation with him. “You know, he’s in the same group as you for drama. He’ll have to speak to you.”
Oh yeah. I can’t believe I forgot that.
That’s perfect. I can tell him I’m sorry and I didn’t mean any of it. Simples.
“Thanks, Sadie,” I say, giving her a side hug.
She shrugs her shoulders casually. “It’s nothing. What are friends for?”
I'm sorry it's short and boring. The next chapter will be more interesting, I promise. Thanks for reading though!