“What happened?” Sadie asks me the moment I exit Michelle’s house. My head is swirling with thoughts and feelings of what happened in there. I think I need to lie down for a while.
“Nothing,” I mutter, stepping to the side so that I can walk past her. I hear her quickly rush over to me, eager to find out what happened inside Michelle’s house. Truth be told, not even I know. I set to find out how I can get Kai to forgive me but instead, something completely different happened.
“Ren, wait,” Sadie calls, sounding out of breath. She eventually catches up to me and tries to recover from that small bit of exercise. It’s not like I was a mile away from her, Sadie is just really unfit. “Ugh, since when did you speed walk?”
I shrug my shoulders at her and kick a pebble on the ground. It skids along the pavement and lands close to a parked car. I’m glad it didn’t hit the car, I honestly can’t be asked to deal with the owners bullsh*t right now. I continue to stare ahead at the path in front of me, my thoughts absorbed with what Michelle said.
Sadie lets out an exhausted breath beside me. “Okay, something is clearly bothering you. Just spit it out.”
It feels wrong telling Sadie what Michelle just told me. It’s clear that Michelle told me everything in confidence despite the fact she doesn’t know me at all. But it would feel like I was betraying her trust if I just went and told Sadie.
Whilst Sadie is my best friend, I don’t think I can tell her. Even though I know she’s trustworthy.
“I can’t,” I eventually relent. Sadie arches an eyebrow and gives me an expectant look. “Michelle told me something in confidence and I can’t go and tell you. It will be betraying her trust.”
Michelle explained everything to me. She told me all about Rose, her beloved daughter. Apparently, Michelle had her when she was only seventeen. Her parents thought her child was an abomination so they kicked her out. Desperate and pregnant, Michelle sought help from Kai since the father didn’t want anything to do with Rose.
Kai gave all of his money to Michelle to help her get on her feet. He was present during all of Michelle’s pregnancy, including the day Michelle gave birth.
Even after Michelle started settling down, Kai was always there. He babysat Rose every night and taught her how to read. Kai adored Rose.
When Rose was only four years old, she passed away. Rose had escaped from her babysitter one night, while Kai and Michelle were out. She ran into the street, completely oblivious to the traffic, and got hit. She died on the theater table a few hours later.
It broke Kai, according to Michelle. He loved Rose more than anything in the world; losing her took a small piece away from him. Michelle said he was never the same again. He stopped having long-term relationships because he feared the emotional attachment. He didn’t want to lose another loved one.
Tears flooded down my cheeks when Michelle finished. For her and Kai. They both lost someone so precious--someone they loved dearly. They were both trying to cope in their own ways.
I now understand more. Kai was distant with me because he was scared--just like me. We both have more in common than we originally thought. We both don’t want to get hurt again because our hearts can’t take it.
Now I have to find him. I have so much to say to him.
“Do you know a Kai Jones?” I ask another student on the campus. Like every other student, she shakes her head and walks off.
I’m never going to find him.
For the past two hours, I’ve been asking students if they know Kai. Every single one of them has said no. I mean, I understand it’s a big campus with lots of students but still! Someone should know him. He’s hard to miss.
“Excuse me, do you know a Kai Jones?” I ask a short blonde-haired woman as she exits the main building.
She stops at the sound of my voice and raises her eyes to me. “Kai Jones? The one with blonde hair?”
My hope sours. This could be it. I could find out where he lives.
“Yes, that’s him,” I answer her eagerly. “Do you know where he lives?”
She gives me a cautious look. I just realized how suspicious it is, a young woman asking about a guy. I hope she doesn’t think I’m some stalker or something.
“Um...” She trails off unsurely.
I enlarge my eyes and pout. “Please,” I beg, praying my pleading will pay off. “I have to find him and apologize for everything I’ve done. You see, I messed up big time. I need to tell him how sorry I am. The one thing stopping me from doing so is the fact I have no idea where he lives.”
Her expression softens. She seems to sympathize with me.
“Okay, I’ll tell you.”
Kai actually lives close to me. His block of apartments looks a lot better than mine. Probably since he doesn’t live in student accommodation.
Taking a deep breath, I ring the doorbell for his apartment. When I hear his silky, smooth voice, I let out a sigh. Thank god.
“Kai, it’s me.” I know he will know who it is. I’m the only American he knows.
“Ren, please don’t. Not today.” He replies, sounding exhausted. His dismissal causes hurt to course through my body. He basically punctured my heart.
“Please listen to me, I have something important to say to you.”
I hear him sigh over the other end. He doesn’t do anything for a few minutes, leading me to believe he’s hung up on me. But when the buzzer sounds and the door unlocks, I smile in relief. Even Kai cannot resist the charm of Ren.
Quickly slipping through the door, I bound the stairs in a rush, wanting to get to Kai. I have so much I need to tell him. I have so much to say. I just want to see him. I want to listen to his voice and have his eyes gaze at me.
Sometimes you don’t realize what you want until you lose it.
I never understood that until now. And boy, I’m glad I did.
Kai’s door is already open when I reach the third floor. He’s standing by the door, waiting for me with a blank expression marred on his face. He looks different--his hair is disheveled, his eyes are lifeless and it doesn’t look like he’s had a shave in days. Miraculously, he still looks hot. If that was me, I’d look like a clown.
“Kai,” I breathe, speaking as if I’m breathing oxygen. It feels like I’ve been deprived of it for too long, even though it hasn’t even been that long.
His reaction is not the same as mine. It’s as if I’m looking at a zombie right now.
He steps aside, letting me in.
The first thing I notice about his apartment is how clean and tidy it is. It’s modern but not expensive looking. However, whilst the ornaments and pictures look stunning, it lacks that homely feeling. The atmosphere is cold and lost. It’s like it’s missing something--or someone.
“Your place is very nice,” I comment, trying to remove the awkward silence. Kai simply nods his head and strolls past me, over to his kitchen.
“Would you like a drink?” He offers, not once making eye contact with me. Why is he acting like a different person? It can’t be entirely because of me.
“Yes, please. A glass of water will do.”
The tap runs, causing the silent room to have a sound for once. But soon it’s gone again and we’re left without a single sound. I shift on my feet, hating the feeling. I don’t do well with silence.
“So why are you here?” His voice slices through the silence. And for the first time, his eyes bore into mine. I want to scream ′yes’ just at the simple action.
“I’m here to apologize.”
“Well get on with it then, I’m busy.”
I blink at the harshness of his voice. I won’t lie, that shocked me. He’s acting like he doesn’t care, that this isn’t affecting him. Maybe it’s not, maybe I’m being silly. What if Kai was experimenting the whole time, attempting to feel something for a girl? I could be his guinea pig. He might not even like me. He might have failed.
No! I shout mentally. That is not true. The way he was when he first declared his feelings proved they were genuine. Don’t over think this.
“Kai, I love you.”
Sorry it's short, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you think in the comment section :)