It was an old saying when a person dies he could saw his whole life revolves around him…
Good bad whatever he did, it spins in front of his eyes just like a movie…
Someone left the world with guilt on their eyes while others left with a broad and happy smile dancing on their lips… This is the rule of nature…
But it is more painful than death itself to see your loved ones die in front of your eyes…
The feeling you felt when your loved ones take their last breath in front of you before leaving you, ones for all. Nothing could describe the pain you felt at that moment. The people around you only sympathies with you but they never empathies the pain, which tears you apart from inside and left you vulnerable to deal with life, ALONE.
LONELY, which I was feeling at the moment by seeing the love of my life who was beside me physically yet so far…
It’s felt like seeing a dream with open eyes.
Looking at the moon but in different skies.
She was in her deep slumber unaware of the things around her.
Her dark lashes kissing her cheeks softly, the ones lively tanned skin turned pale. Even in this state of her, she was able to take my breath away. She always looked breathtaking for my eyes, even in this fragile state of her.
Her breathing was slow almost like nothing. If not for her chest which was slowly rising up and down you could mistake her as a dead.
DEAD…. I was feeling, without her.
I was lost in her thought when I felt a presence behind me. I didn’t acknowledge the person as I didn’t want to move my gaze away from her even for a second.
“Brandon, you need to rest. She will wake up soon.”My mom said squeezing my shoulder in reassurance. Her voice was hoarse, as she must be crying seeing me like this.
“I am fine mom. It’s quite getting late. You should go and rest and Mel needs you..”I heaved a sighed before replying. I didn’t want to be rude to her but I need her, I need my Ashley. I need her to comfort me.
“Mel is fine Brandon. but..” she tried to say but I snubbed her.
“No mom. I am not going anywhere. I will wait for her.”I said solemnly.
“Okay” She sighed in defeat and left, leaving me alone.
I didn’t know for how long I was sat beside her, holding her delicate hand in my large one. My eyes were started to shut due to heaviness and stress. I tried to fight with the sleep but at last, it won and sends me into a deep slumber…
I woke up with the annoying sound of a machine. I groaned and cursed under my breath. I slowly open my eyes in anger but it faded as soon as my eyes landed on her.
My breathing almost stopped when her breathing became rigid. The annoying sound was coming from the machine connected to her heart start to beat wildly. Her body started to shake and at last everything stop… the beeping of the machine and her breathing.
“Doctor, ”I shouted looking at her pale face
I shook her hard to get any response from her but found none.
The doctor came and started examining her hurriedly. Her pulse was missing much to my dismay.
From the periphery of my vision, I saw the doctor stab something in her heart like he was stabbing her with a knife. My mouth hung open it shock seeing him.
Perspiration formed on his forehead. He was breathing hard like he ran a marathon.
“Come on, boss. Come on.”He chanted like a mantra.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. My chest contracted in pain.
It felt like years but it just passed a few seconds when her heart started to beat normally.
I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
I look at the doctor in horror. He gave me a sheepish smile and looks nervous.
“I am sorry to scare you like this Mr Knight. But we gave morphine injection like this” He explained seeing my mortified face.
“Thank you so much, doctor. I don’t know what would I do if something happens to her” My voice cracked at the end. I hold his both hand in appreciation.
He indeed like an angel of God, who came here to help me.
he patted my shoulder and left after seeing Ashley for the last time.
“you almost give me a heart attack. Please come back. I will not irritate you and don’t even kiss you if you don’t want me. I love you so much, it hurts...“I murmured near her ear before placing a lingering kiss on her forehead.
Just open your eyes, my love...
I always wondered, what kind of life would have been if nothing bad that day?
I will be living my life happily with my family and friends. maybe I would find my prince charming, the one for me and spend the rest of my life with him.
How does it feel when I graduated? dad feel so proud of me. He always treats me and Di like princesses.
But nothing happens like that. Nothing because I was weak to stand up for them.
I don’t deserve to live. I let them down.’I was drowning in my own thoughts.
Everything around me was dark. I couldn’t see anything couldn’t feel anything.
I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t. It feels like some force was stopping me. I try to move my legs but all goes in vain. it felt like someone put a lot of weight on me.
It’s felt like my mind has kept my body under control. My soul was caged in my body like a wild animal trap in the iron-caged.
The animal can look out of the cage but can’t go out, just like I can feel anything around me but couldn’t move out of here.
The familiar echo around the room. Every time, the voice called my name something stir inside me. something which I couldn’t pin-point out. Something which I didn’t felt since so long.
After a lot of efforts, I was able to open my eyes only to be greeted by the darkness. I turned around to have a better view of my surrounding. The sky turned a dark shade of violet with the dark grey clouds hide the moon, which was the only source of light in this dark forest.
The gust of wind blew sharply making the hair on my arm rouse.
Ashley... A thick shrilled voice shouted breaking the serene ambience of the forest.
I ran in the direction of the voice blindly. I stumbled a few times before I reach a house which looks out of place, as it was white and silver in colour which gave a contrasting shade against this dark night.
“Ashley” The voice became strong and echoed loudly near the house.
I felt my body shake as the sudden terror strike in. My hands turned sweaty as I place them around my heart to feel my erotic breathing. I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves.
after feeling satisfied, I decided to went inside the house in search of the person who was calling my name like a mantra.
I placed my hand on the iron door which was a beat rusty. it cracks open due to sudden force. I cringed at the sound of its opening.
As I went inside, the door shut loudly with a bang. I cursed under my breath a feel myself getting stuck in this unknown place without any backup.
I check every room one by one on the ground floor but found none. I decided to move upside in hope of finding someone.
As I was going further, a hushed whisper could be heard.
feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline, I barged in the last room at the end of the hallway to get the biggest shock of my life.
I saw my father sitting on the moving chair with a cup of tea in his hands. Seeing me, he gave me a mesmerizing smile.
My eyes brimmed with tears as I look at him with mixed emotions.
He beckoned me towards him. slowly I made my way towards him. I fall on my knees and place my head on his lap like a little girl. a tear fall from my eyes making it ways from my cheeks till my jaw as he placed his hand on my head.
“Dad” I whisper.
“dad, ”I said again, not believing my eyes.
“yes, sweety, ”He asked lovingly showing his dimple smile.
“I miss you, dad, I miss you..“I cried like five years old.
“I miss you too, cupcake. I miss you too... Don’t cry, my child. I can’t see you like this”He coo in my ear.
“Why did you leave? Why?“I moved back and asked him looking at his pale face which was showing no emotions.
“I didn’t want to cupcake but It’s the destiny. It was decided for me. Nobody could go against the faith destined for them by God.“He answered showing his pearly white teeth.
“it was my fault. I couldn't save you.“I look down ashamed as I couldn’t bear hatred in his eyes.
“Look at me, Ashley,” He said firmly leaving no room for arguments.
“It's not your fault. It's destiny. No one at fault my child. Don’t blame yourself."His voice was soft like velvet but firm at the same time.
“No, my child. Stop blaming yourself. It's not you who kill me. It that bastard dave and my dad ”His voice was cold as ice as he spoke those words.
I look at his eyes which was dark and red in fury.
“You are a warrior Ashley. You are meant to be a warrior."He stated, looking straight into my eyes.
“no.."He shouted making me shiver.
“Listen, child. I don’t have much time. But believe me, you are not at fault so stop blaming yourself. I am not going anywhere. I will always stay with you like sunrays, like your shadow.”
“You are fighting enough child. I know you have to finish this war once for all but don’t leave that poor boy."My eyes widened once he spoke those words.
‘he really loves you. Just accept him.’
'No dad, he deserves much better. Not me...’I denied as tear roll down my cheeks to make its way to my neck.
'you are wrong. You deserve to be happy. he deserves to be happy and his happiness lies in yours. Just don’t leave him”He body started to glow as he started to move back.
“dad.. don’t leave me.."I shouted tried to get close to him but he just disappears in thin air. the room turned dark once the glow faded.
'’Don’t leave him’His words kept repeating in my mind.
“Do I really deserve him?"I asked myself.
Before I could comprehend anything, everything around me started to shatter. I ran out of the room following the white light, which was the only source at that time. it leads me to a long narrow way. I stumble in my ways but gain my composure.
‘where am I?’ i asked frantically as the light went off leaving me in dark.
Everything was dark nothing made difference here.
A faint sound was coming from afar. I move forward in the direction of the voice.
There was something about the voice which makes me follow it, it feels like someone was calling me.
I felt like there is something which my soul craves.
something which only meant for me, something which only I own.
As I reach the dead end of the path, the voice becomes louder than before.
Closing my eyes, I focus on the voice.
′I will not irritate you’The person said, his voice was so painful, it clenched my heart.
'he is calling me. I need to get out of here. he needs me'I pulled my hair in frustration.
I concentrate more to get the hell out of here. My body started to shake.
his voice was helping me, pulling me out of the darkness, to the light. The light where is life, with me.
I tried several times to open my eyes. At last, I did it.
I open my eyes abruptly only to be blinded by the white light which illuminates the room. I close my eyes then open it slowly this time.
From the periphery of my vision, I saw Brandon, who was sitting beside me. he looks broken and shattered.
His eyes were puffy and red. He was looking at our conjoined hand.
'I don’t even kiss you if you don’t want me.'Brandon said, I love you so much, it hurts...
"I love you too, forever and always.."I said at last.