This has to be a joke or some twisted dream. I washed out my mouth glancing in the mirror watching them. I wiped off my mouth and entered my bedroom where it was pre-occupied by Jaylin and Camille.
Camille was the first to acknowledge my presence. “Are you going to say anything or are you just going to keep on staring at us, kid?”
“Kid?” I asked annoyed. “Last time I checked I was an eighteen-year-old teenager.” Jaylin surely noticed the tone of my voice as she quirked an eyebrow. She was seated at my desk with the chair turned around so she could face me.
“A few years ago you didn’t have a problem with Cam calling you a kid.”
“Yeah, because back then she was my friend.” They sigh in unison and Jaylin got up from the chair. “You are mad at us for leaving.”
“What do you think, Jaylin?” I asked crossing my arms in front of my chest. Camille raised an eyebrow in shock. Yeah, I wasn’t that friendly girl they left behind.
“What? You wanted me to leave the College and come back here to comfort you?” Jaylin asked bluntly.
“That is what friends do.” I snapped. “Not one of you know what kind of pain I went through, not one of you know what happened in this house. My own father pushed me to the side. He brought a woman into this house expecting me to accept her. I needed someone who was there for me, who at least tried to convince that everything was going to be okay.”
Not one of them spoke they just looked at me with faces filled with guilt. “I can’t believe you think that you can just walk back into my life as if nothing have changed. Everything has changed.”
“I noticed.” Jaylin said crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“You don’t have the right to judge me.” I snarled pointing my finger at her. “None of you do.” I turned away from them walking towards the window. “For a twelve year old girl watching her mother go down is not something you get to forget. I watched her crumble down next to the field and then I watched her get hospitalize just to find out that she has been sick her whole life.” I said wiping off a tear angrily. I turned back around to look at them to show them the pain I have been carrying for the following five years.
“And then as a thirteen-year-old to say goodbye to her own mother by watching her casket going down into the ground. I had no one to comfort me. My father locked himself up in his study for weeks and then two-years-later he brings a woman home with her son. I have been mad and sad since my mother got hospitalize.”
“And then the only two people I cared about, left me. Everyone left me. My father got engaged, moved me to a new school thinking it can be called a new beginning.”
“I was so damn lost and none of you two cared!” I cried out, letting the tears run freely. I was done pretending.
Jaylin overwhelmed in a hug and held me tightly not letting me go. She didn’t say a word as she just held me. I signalled for her to release me to which she did, she just looked at me with watery eyes. Jaylin didn’t cry easily.
“Make yourselves comfortable, I am just going to go for a smoke.”
“Wait…hold up. You smoke?” Camille asked standing up from my bed. I just shrugged and pulled out my secret stash of cigarettes. “Better than becoming an alcoholic.”
“Hey, that is not funny.” Camille said pointing her finger at me. “I didn’t mean it like that.” I said frowning.
“Yeah, whatever.” She grumbled ripping a cigarette from my hand and walking towards the window. “Where do you smoke secretly?” She asked.
“Up on the roof.” She nodded and pushed the window open. “What are you doing?” Jaylin asked looking at the cigarette and open window. “Hell, I need a smoke after Sasha’s confession.” I tried not to smile but I couldn’t help it. I watched her climb out of the window and onto the roof, I looked Jaylin who just shrugged and then followed me out onto the roof.
“Have you spoken to your father about what you just told us?” Camille asked blowing out smoke.
“Not really. I think he figured I was in pain the other day.” I admitted.
“Why do you say that?”
“I found a letter of my mother.” Both of them looked at me surprised. I just looked out on the empty dark streets. “It is a letter before she passed away. I only found it now.” I started killing my cigarette. “She basically told me not to give up on my life and give my father a chance as he was hurting too. And she knew that he will find himself someone knew. I think she pushed him to find someone knew.” I told them.
“My dad walked in while I was crying after reading the letter, I saw the sadness on his face when he found out I had a few of her things. I broke down in front of him.”
“Have you guys talked since?” Jaylin asked rubbing her leggings.
“Not about it, no. He has tried to do small things, like drop me off at school and small talk.”
“And you?” I just shook my head. “I’m still mad that he pushed me aside. He should have been there for me but he left me on my own to comfort myself. He hasn’t even said sorry for doing that to me and I don’t think he will ever.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true, it is hard for me to admit but I am just like him. I might have my mother’s love for sports but I got my father’s personality.”
“Listen kid.” Camille started. “You still have your father, I know you are sad by losing your mother. But don’t stay mad at your father too long, he too is getting old and can be taken away any moment. You got to forgive him and move on.” I looked at Camille and I noticed still the pain in her eyes of losing both her parents. She too was young when she lost them, she only had Jaylin who stood by her side since everything went wrong for her.
“You got to give him a chance to make up for the time he left you on your own.” I just nodded at her.
“Good, now can we please get down from this roof?” I just chuckled at her and got up.
“Listen.” Jaylin started grabbing me softly by the arm. “I’m sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most, but know this I always cared about you and I still do. It wasn’t right of me to just leave like I did. I hope one day you can forgive me because I will try to be there for every day forward.” I nodded at her and gave her a hug.
“I might just have forgiven you a long time ago.” I confessed.