Chapter 41: Runaways
And in the end, we’re all runaways.
I’d finally gotten what I wanted. She had said yes to running away with me. But this time I knew for certain that it would come to an end. Because tomorrow, we wouldn’t show up on her doorstep like her mum wanted. We’d be here, wrapped up in each others arms and living every moment I’d spent so long fighting for. Risking my life for.
And then, her mum would fulfil her promise just like I had fulfilled mine. She would call the police and they would be after us. They would find me, the fugitive. And her, harbouring a fugitive.
I wanted to tell her so badly, wanted to explain the risks of what she was agreeing to, that her life would be over before it had even begun. But I couldn’t because then she would know about me. If we stayed, we’d be forced apart. If we went back, I’d have to leave her.
I don’t think I could take it. The look on her face if I was to leave her with no explanation, no promise of a future together. The tears streaming down her face and the ache in every inch of her body, heartbreak and betrayal, unanswered questions and stolen kisses.
This was the consequence I had put myself up to face. Our fate was doomed from the start, ever since I came into her life. Ever since I put that journal in a place I knew she’d find it, and then taken it back just so I could see her again. I had stolen her life away and with each road we’d driven down she’s lost it more and more.
I couldn’t believe it. That after all of this time, all of this yearning for her to be my partner in running away and this time she was the one asking me. Begging me. She wanted out from this life and so did I. This was worse than anything I could have imagined. How could I be so selfish?
The end is inevitable and I want to make the most of our last night in each others arms. I want to leave her with a memory of me that she can hold on to when she finds out the truth. She had lost everything and everyone in her life and now she was going to lose me, too.
Fate has a funny way of working. If we had never met she would’ve never learnt the truth about her family. But now she was going to realise that the reason for her learning the truth was because of me, and I am also, a bittersweet facade.
I will forever be grateful for this snippet of my life, where I met her. It’s just my reality that brings our fantasy to an end. And that cannot be changed.