Today, the only plans I have are to visit Victoria.
I felt really bad that I hadn’t gone to see her in a week.I should be visiting her every day, not once a week, I only have so much time left with her.
The thought of her not being here one day kills me inside, what if she doesn’t make it to her next birthday? It’s not fair for a child so precious to have to go through something so horrible.
Shaking all the depressing thoughts away, I walked out the front door. Today was a nice sunny day, these days are Tori’s favourite. I wish I was able to take her outside so she could play.
I looked towards Damon’s house for a moment, briefly wishing he knew about Tori so he could come with me to see her. Sometimes I didn’t know if I could look at her without totally breaking down, but if Damon was there with me I knew just his presence alone would make me stronger.
But I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t tell anyone, the only people who knew were my parents and Garrett, and of course the doctors but they don’t count.
I let out a nervous sigh and got into my car. Every time I made my way to the hospital I always get scared and wound myself up thinking thoughts like ‘what if she’s dead?’ And ‘what if she’s in a coma?’
I know I should be positive and not worry all the time but that’s simply impossible, it can’t be done. Anyone who’s going through what I’m going through right now knows what I mean.
It’s human nature to worry about the people you love, especially when they’re sick like Tori, and everyone thinks about the worst possible outcomes because it helps prepare them for what might come.
I’m no different than anyone else.
Still deep in my thoughts, I pulled into a parking space and made my way into the hospital.
I checked in at the front desk and was eventually standing in front of Tori’s door.
Like every other time, I took some deep breaths and eventually mustered up the courage to open the door.
There she was, looking more pale then usual, sleeping peacefully on her bed.
A nurse was sitting on the chair beside her bed, which surprised me, usually the nurses just came and checked up on her every one and a while, they never stayed.
I immediately became concerned when I noticed the pitying look the nurse was giving me.
“What’s going on?” I asked, just above a whisper as I internally panicked.
“This morning while Victoria was eating her breakfast she suddenly had a seizure, it wasn’t major but it was enough to make her fall into a coma.” The nurse explained sympathetically.
I started to shake my head. No, this couldn’t be happening, she’s lying. She has to be lying.
“You’re sick, you really are! Why are you lying to me? Why would you do that?” I yelled, tears welled up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall.
“I’m sorry but I’m not lying,” the nurse said rather rudely.
“Yes you are, you have to be.” I whispered, and the tears I tried so hard to fight started falling down my cheeks.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave, all this commotion is not good for the patient.” the nurse said sternly.
“No! I’m not leaving Victoria’s side!” I yelled.
The nurse walked to the door, stuck her head out, and she yelled “Security.”
Two huge men came in and tried to escort me out but I fought against them.
This can’t be happening.
“Stop! I need to be with her! Please let me be with her!” I yelled, desperately trying to break away from their steel like grips.
“Take her away now!” the nurse demanded.
They finally got a good hold on me and dragged me out of the room and eventually out of the hospital.
Once they had me outside they roughly let me go and glared at me.
“You’re banned from the hospital for the next week, and maybe next time you’ll be a little more calm.” One of the security guards spat.
“You can’t do that!” I yelled.
They just shot me one last glare and stomped back into the building.
I leaned against the wall next to the doors and wiped the tears from my face.
What am I going to do now?
I know that I definitely can’t drive myself home since I’m such a mess and I’d probably end up crashing my car, and I knew my parents wouldn’t come get me since they were at work until I don’t even know when.
So what could I do?
The only people I could call are Garrett and Damon, and I knew that Garrett was on a date or something right now, he wouldn’t stop blabbering about it last night when I talked to him on the phone.
The only person left is Damon, but would he come get me?
There’s only one way to find out.
I took out my phone and punched in his number.
I waited as it rung once, twice, three times.
I was about to hang up when I heard him answer. “Hello?”
I let out a relieved sigh.
“Can you come pick me up?” I asked, trying to steady my shaking voice. The tears had stopped a few minutes ago but I was still on the verge of breaking down again.
“Where are you?” he asked, sounding alarmed at my unsteady voice. He knew something was wrong.
“The hospital.” I answered, wincing at how he might take that. He could think I was hurt or something.
“I’ll be there in a few.” he said quickly and hung up without waiting for a reply from me.
Everything’s going to be ok, I tried to tell myself.
Tori will wake up.
I felt like screaming and crying at the same time. I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and disappear, maybe then the pain will go away.
I looked around to distract myself from all thoughts about my sister, and saw that everyone was shooting me concerned glances. I probably look a mess.
Suddenly I was wrapped up in a warm embrace.
“Are you alright?” Damon asked, stroking my hair soothingly.
His concerning voice was enough to put me over the edge and I started bawling into his chest.
“Hey, shh. It’s ok, everything’s ok.” he whispered.
I shook my head, nothing was ok.
“Lets get out of here, I’ll drive you home.” He suggested.
I nodded and pulled away from him.
“Sorry.” I said embarrassed. I shouldn’t have broke down like that in front of him.
“It’s fine, really.” he told me sincerely, taking my hand and giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze.
Then together we walked to his car and got in.
The ride home was silent, I could tell Damon had so many questions he wanted to ask but he refrained from asking them, which I was grateful for.
To my surprise when we arrived to our houses he pulled into my driveway instead of his.
“I’ll come in with you, if that’s alright of course.” He told me as we both got out.
“I’d like that.” I said quietly.
I quickly unlocked the door and we both went in.
I looked around, surprised that the lights were on in the kitchen, maybe my patents are home.
“Go up to my room and make yourself at home, I’ll be up in a minute.” I told Damon.
He nodded and went upstairs.
I walked into the kitchen and like I thought, both my parents were sitting at the table eating. I didn’t even notice their cars in the driveway.
“Tori’s in a coma.” I blurted.
They both looked up at me in alarm.
“Well it was bound to happen someday sweetly.” mom said calmly.
I gaped at her, did she really just say that? What a heartless bitch! How dare she say something like that!
“What’s wrong with you? Sure it was eventually gonna happen but you could show a little respect for her.” I yelled.
“Calm down Sophia.” Dad ordered, also rising his voice.
“No! Don’t tell me what to do!” I screamed.
“There’s no need to blow up at us because your sister is in a coma, it’s not our fault. We are your parents and you will treat us with respect.” he bellowed.
I shook my head as angry tears flowed from my eyes.
“She’s not my sister she’s my daughter! And you guys aren’t my parents, they died long ago!” I yelled.
And with that I ran up to my room, totally forgetting that Damon was there.
As soon as I stepped foot into my room I ran into something hard. Damon.
He tried to embrace me for comfort but I pushed him away and sat on my bed. This is all just too much.
“What the hell did I just hear?” He softly demanded.
I shook my head and sobbed.
“No Sophia, you need to tell me, I have the right to know.” He said, a bit firmer then before.
“What right do you have? This has nothing to do with you.” I snapped.
“But it has everything to do with you.” He said.
“So?” What did that have to do with anything?
“I want to help you thought this, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
“Why? Why do you want to help me? Not that long ago we hated each other, what changed?” I demanded.
“Because I care about you.” Was his explanation.
“No you don’t! That doesn’t make any sense. Stop lying, stop confusing me, I don’t need any more drama in my life.” I cried.
He sat down beside me, “I just want to help, how can I help?” he asked desperately, and then added. “I hate seeing you like this.”
I shook my head for the millionth time today. I don’t want his help, I don’t want anyone’s help! I can’t be helped, all the problems in my life don’t have a solution.
“You should leave.” I muttered numbly.
“I’m not leaving you alone when you’re like this.” he told me.
“Just leave!” I yelled, glaring at him.
I can’t deal with all this right now, I just need to be alone, have a good pillow scream and sleep.
He got up angrily and stomped towards my bedroom door. “Don’t say I never tried.” he hissed. Then he left.
Now I’m alone, all alone. The pain is long gone and now replaced with a buzzing numbness.
But I wanted the pain back, I deserve the pain, this is all my fault. Everything’s my fault.
I grabbed my pillow and screamed my heart out.
Somewhere along the line my screams turned into sobs and eventually I cried myself to sleep.