I spent all of Sunday moping, but how could I not when Tori’s in a coma and I can’t go visit her.
Everything that’s happened recently with Dylan and now Tori is really catching up to me. I haven’t felt this depressed since I found out Tori had cancer.
Now it’s Monday and I don’t feel any better, and to make matters worse I have to go to school and deal with people, not cool.
And on top of that I have to see Damon. After what happened Saturday when we got into that fight, I don’t know if I can face him yet.
I feel so bad about how I treated him, he told me he wanted to help and that he cares about me and what did I do? I pushed him away like I do with everyone else.
I want him to help me, I want to tell him everything but its hard, there’s so much that I haven’t told anyone. I feel like if I say it out loud it’ll bring back all the memories that I only have to suffer through at night while I sleep.
But I have to get it off my chest, I’ve been carrying it around for three years and I can’t do it anymore, I have to trust somebody with all this stuff and Damon is the one I choose, if I get the guts to tell him.
I took a deep breath to rid myself from all these thoughts, it’ll do me no good to think about this stuff during school.
With one last deep breath, I pulled myself together and got out of my car.
Everyone looked at me like usual, but instead of looking at me with admiration and envy, they were looking at me with concern and confusion.
I don’t blame them, instead of dressing nicely like usual, today I’m dressed in a sweater and jogging pants.
Once I made it inside the school whispers erupted, no doubt about me.
Whatever, people can think and say what they want, as long as I don’t hear it I really don’t care.
I made it to my locker and opened it to get some books.
I quickly glanced at the small mirror and gasped. I really did look a mess, my eyes were red and there were purple bags under them.
I really shouldn’t have come to school today.
I slammed my locker shut with more force than needed, which caused the people around me to jump.
I almost snickered but a sudden sadness washed over me before I could. How could I even think about laughing when Tori is in a coma? What’s wrong with me?
I sighed and went to class.
Today was going to be a long and painful day.
I managed to get through my first class without snapping at anyone, but I didn’t know if I could keep to myself much longer.
There were tons of rumours flying around about why I look so crappy today.
Stuff like ‘she’s pregnant.’ To ‘Dylan and her broke up.’
People are so stupid and oblivious. But let them think what they want, anythings better than the reason I really look like this.
I was about to stomp into Environmental awareness class when come one grabbed my arm and spun me around.
“We need to talk.” Damon demanded, letting go of my arm.
I gave him a simple nod and followed him to wherever he wanted to go to talk.
To my surprise he led us up to the roof of the school.
I’ve only been up here a couple time, and not to many students knew about this place.
“Spill.” Damon commanded one we were sitting down on a convenient bench.
I stayed silent for a moment while I collected my thoughts.
“Um, ok. Like you heard yesterday, my parents aren’t actually my parents and Tori isn’t my sister, she’s my daughter.” I started, never looking at him, I don’t think I could handle whatever look he would give me.
“Why do you call them your parents and Tori you sister?” he asked.
“We’re suppose to be the perfect family, no ones suppose to know my real story. It’s easier that way.” I explained as best as I could.
“What’s your real story?” he asked quietly and hesitantly.
I could tell he didn’t know if he really wanted to know my story.
“It’s not good.” I whispered.
“I don’t care. I want to know, no, I need to know.” he pleaded.
I took a deep breath, this was it. I was finally going to tell someone.
“It was freshmen year, I was fourteen, almost fifteen.” I started.
He stayed silent so I continued.
“I was young, naïve and blinded by love. Love for a guy who was an eighteen year old high school dropout.
“I met him at a corner store by my house. I was paying for stuff my mom wanted me to get from the store and I didn’t have enough. I started panicking, so the guy behind me paid for whatever I couldn’t.
“Afterwards I was outside waiting for him, so I could thank him for helping me. He said that I would have to pay him back by going out on a date with him. So we exchanged numbers and the next day he took me out.
“That’s how our relationship started. He was a great boyfriend at first, he would buy me things like flowers and chocolate, respect my boundaries, cuddle with me and take care of me when I was sick.
“Life was perfect, I was popular, I had the perfect boyfriend and the perfect family.
“But soon that all went downhill.
“One day we were at his apartment and suddenly he got really angry after receiving a text.
“He asked me who Dylan was. I told him he was a friend of mine but he didn’t believe me, he accused me of cheating on him.
“Apparently one of his friends sent him a picture of Dylan and I hugging.
“That was the day when everything changed, the first day that he yelled at me, and the first day he hit me.” I explained.
I heard Damon take a sharp intake of air.
By now I was crying but I didn’t care. I just kept on talking.
“After that day I tried breaking up with him but he wouldn’t let me, told me if I ever left him that he would hurt everyone I loved.
“So I suffered for months, with him making up excuses to beat me even if I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t living anymore, I was just doing my best to survive now.
“He loved torturing me in any way possible. Sometimes he would cut me in places that no one would see, like the bottom of my feet and my skull.
“I couldn’t handle the physical and emotional pain anymore. I didn’t know what to do, there was no way out.
“So one day I grabbed one of my dads guns. Back then I thought that it was the only way out, to kill myself.
“I sat in my bedroom for god knows how long, crying and holding the gun to my head. Just as I was about to pull the trigger, he walked in.
“He was mad, no furious. He took me back to his apartment and wouldn’t let me leave. He went insane, beating me, cutting me, and then he raped me.
“I was there a month, and just as he was about to kill me, the police saved me and threw him in jail.
“Eight months later I had Victoria.”
Now I was bawling uncontrollably, happy and sad tears.
Happy because I finally told someone, but also sad because someone knows how messed up I am.
As I cried Damon didn’t say a word to me, instead me wrapped his arms around me in a warm and comforting embrace.
But what surprised me and calmed me down was how safe I felt in his arm, Something I haven’t felt since everything happened with him.
“I’ll take you home.” Damon said.
I nodded and sniffled.
I’ve never been so happy to be home. All I wanted to do right now was curl up and go to sleep, but I knew if I did that, I’d be attacked by terrible nightmares.
So instead I invited Damon inside to hang out and watch a movie.
So now we were sitting on the couch watching mean girls, Damon’s choice, not mine.
I don’t know if he actually liked this move or if he just wanted to cheer me up, but either way, I was feeling better now.
It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder.
I just couldn’t get over it, I finally told someone my story.
But I didn’t tell Damon everything, just most things. Some of it was just so horrible, I couldn’t get myself to say it.
I shook away these thoughts since I knew they were going no where good, and another thought hit me.
I turned to face Damon and after a moment he did the same.
“I just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you the other day. You were just trying to help and I was being nasty to you. I’m truly sorry that I treated you like that, you didn’t deserve it.” I said sincerely.
He shrugged, “Its fine. I understand why you acted the way you did, you were scared, I totally get that, and I forgive you.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief, this guy was just too good to me true.
“Oh and thanks for listening to me today, I’ve never told anyone my story before.”
“No problem.” he said with another shrug.
I smiled at him and got one in return.
We just at there, smiling and gazing into each others eyes.
Then our smiles dropped and were replaced with serious expressions.
I didn’t even notice us both moving closer to each other until we were just centimetres apart.
My gaze dropped to his lips. Oh how I wanted to feel them agains mine, just a couple centimetres and they would be touching.
Just as our lips were about to connect the doorbell rang.
We both jumped apart startled.
I hopped off the couch saying “I’ll get it.” And ran to the front door and swung it open to reveal the mailman.
I almost laughed out loud, the mailman just interrupted my almost kiss with Damon.
He quickly extended his arm out toward me, which held a single envelope.
I took it from him and closed the door, then I looked down at what it was.
On the front it read:
To: Sophia Mackenzie
From: David Martin
“Who’s that from?” Damon suddenly asked.
“Uh, n-nobody important.” I stuttered.
“Yeah, sure.” he said skeptically.
“I’m just gonna go put this in my room, you go and continue watching the movie.” I told him, then ran up the stairs without waiting for a reply.
Once I was in my room I threw the letter onto my bed and started pacing.
How could he do this to me? Doesn’t he know how much pain he’s already caused me? Can’t he just leave me alone?
I needed to stop freaking out before Damon got anymore suspicious.
I took some calming breaths.
Who cares if he sent a letter. Maybe it said that he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.
But seriously, just when I was starting to get over everything that’s happened, just when I finally got the nerve to talk about it, he decides to jump back into my life any way possible.
This is bull shit.
I took one last calming breath, and headed back downstairs.
Once I was sat beside Damon on the couch again he looked over at me.
“Are you okay? You look a little pale.” he asked.
I shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m fine.”
“Did you read your letter yet?” he questioned.
I shook my head.
Just thinking about what’s in the letter sends shivers of horror down my spine.
And I’d be stupid if I read the letter while Damon’s here, if its that bad and I end up freaking out, Damon’s obviously gonna make me give him the letter so he can read it.
And for some reason I feel like I should hide this from Damon.
After the movie we decided to go up to my little music room and fool around on the instruments. I was having a lot of fun and it took my mind off the letter.
I think that was Damon’s goal, I could tell he knew something was wrong with me and wanted to fix it. And he definitely succeeded in it.
After playing around in the music room for god knows how long, we ended up making dinner, which consisted of KD.
We were too lazy to cook anything fancy.
Then, a while after supper Damon left.
Now I was sitting on my bed at ten o’clock at night, debating about whether or not I should read the letter he sent me.
After a few more minuets I finally made up my mind, I need to open it or curiosity will surly kill me.
So with shaking hands I opened the envelope and read the letter inside.
To my dearest star
I haven’t seen you in years
With the pain that you’ve caused
You deserve to live all your fears.
I know what you want
Is me locked up till death
But we’ll be together my love
Until your very last breath.