Figuring It Out
Beeping. The annoying and incessant beeping was driving me up the wall. I was lying in a hospital bed by myself particularly annoyed. My room smelled strongly of get-well flowers and filled with balloons of bright and obnoxious colors and teddy bears of different variations of brown and sizes.
I hate the hospital. I've had doctors and nurses prod me in every which way to ensure my overprotective father who also happens to be the boss of most of these doctors that I am medically stable. There was a numb sensation on my chest where Jason stabbed me. It's been a couple of days since prom, and I've been visited by worried friends, hysterical mothers, and police.
The visit by the police was particularly awkward because there were somethings that you could explain perfectly, and somethings you had to leave out like your prom date is a psycho hunter who has a vendetta on your tutoree who happens to be a werewolf. I would definitely be sent to the psych ward if that happened. Thankfully they spoke with everyone else before the police got to me.
For now, the story was that Jason saw me have a secret rendezvous in the forest with Benji. He got jealous and went to stab Benji but accidentally stabbed me. I snort at how well the cops believed this petty love story. Maybe that Witch casted a spell on them to be blind to the truth.
Avoiding the thoughts that were brewing in my head, I was itching to get out of this hospital room. I fidget with the paper identification bracelet on my wrist. For the first 24 hours that I was awake, I tried as hell to tell myself that everything that happened to me was all just a dream. I've been having nightmares for weeks, and this was just another one. I even started believing the whole fake story that fooled the police.
But after a night of restless sleep, I couldn't fool myself anymore. What happened that night was all real. It wasn't my imagination. That day was kind of a blur because I would fall into panic attacks. There was magic in the world.
Now, I sit on my bed trying to figure out my next move. From what my mother tells me, Jason is currently behind bars and is awaiting trial for attempted murder. She never mention anything about Benji though, but I didn't ask either.
I hear a knock on the door, and stare at the unexpected visitor enter the hospital room. I wasn't due for a check up for another hour. Warily, I watch the young female doctor who seems to have just graduated med school. After the incident, I've been very fidgety and cautious of strangers. My fingers were seconds of way from pressing the call button to call the nurses in.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I've come to talk to you, Cassandra," the young doctor says.
There are only three people in this world who call me by my full name: my mother, my father, and...
"You're the witch," I say.
The young doctor transforms into the beautiful, ethereal being that I met in the forest that night.
The transformation startles me as if I were seeing again for the first time. The strange sight of a person's changing and molding into another's is just something so strange that my mind tries its best to understand what just happened.
"Get out," I say lowly and with a threatening air.
"I've come to talk to you," she explains.
"Get out before I call the nurses to escort you out," I threaten stronger.
"Do it, but I'll just turn into Dr. Jenkins and say I'm doing an examination," she says as well and starts transforming into her doctor and more human form.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I say hopelessly.
"Because you need to understand."
"I don't need to understand anything. I'm just going to put this entire incident behind me and go on with my normal life."
"But, your life isn't normal," she says exasperated. "It hasn't been normal ever since Benjamin von Adalwulf has entered your life."
I remember the moment when we first met. I've just lived my life as the perfect student and the perfect daughter, but Benji had to crash into my life and turn it upside down. He had to tell me to succumb to my desires rather than surprising everything just like I've done for my entire life.
"Benjamin really didn't want you to get involved with this entire hunter and werewolf power struggle. He just wanted to pursue you just like any normal human male, to make you like him for who he is," she continues. "The young alpha isn't here because he wants to study in America. He's here to find his mate."
"Don't," I try to stop her.
"You have to hear me out," she urges. "You have to..."
"No. I don't want to hear anymore. I just want to go on with my life just as it was before I met Benji. I don't want anything to do with your world. I can barely survive my own!" I say hysterically. I can feel a panic attack rising.
"You need to calm down," she says and puts her hand on my back. Warmth spreads from her touch, and I feel my breath slowing down and coming back to normal.
"Please leave," I whisper, avoiding her gaze.
"Cassandra," she lifts my chin up, so I look into her strange pink irises. "You must feel it too. The pull you feel for Benji. How you can't seem to keep your eyes off of him when he's in the same room as you. How you naturally lean on him and tell him your deepest secrets."
My eyes widen in surprise at how clearly she pinpointed my developing feelings for him.
"What did you do?" I ask her, feeling violated.
"I've done nothing," she says.
"You've just done some magic," I say hysterically.
"I've done no such thing. I've just described the emotion you've been developing for Benji."
"I've developed no emotions for Benji," I say coldly.
"Don't be foolish," she says harshly. "Do not become blind to what you know is true. You've developed feelings for the young alpha whether you wanted to or not."
"The only thing I feel for your young alpha," I spit, "is the emotion of hatred." But deep inside, I'm afraid of admitting to what the witch said.
"You know you have feelings closer to love than hate."
"How can I love something that isn't human?"
"Then why did you take that knife for him?" she asks.
I close my mouth shut because I had no response. I don't know why I protected Benji. It was a spur of the moment action.
"Your denial isn't something a result of one night's incident. The entire time you've been with the young alpha, you've been ignoring your budding feelings towards him. You still like him, yet you've been acting like a selfish child taking his devotion yet never showing your own. Admit it Cassandra Forest, you like Benjamin von Adalwulf even though he's a werewolf."
"Fine! I like him! Happy?" I yell at her with all the pent up emotion that I've been trying to hide these past few months. "I like that he waits for me after my classes and talks to me no matter how much I pretend to be annoyed. I like how he listens to me no matter how whiny I am. I like him for his goofiness and for his sincerity," I huff to catch my breath.
"Now was that so hard," she says smugly.
I would never admit it out loud, but I was happy to finally get this all off my chest.
"What now?" I ask her after I catch my breath.
"That's for you to decide." she says.
There was so much for me to do. Being trapped inside a hospital bed has put me behind on my school work, and I still have to prepare for college next year. But, even with this growing list of things to get done, there was still one thing that took priority over everything. "I need to talk to Benji," I say with conviction.
"That," she says with great pause, "might be a bit difficult."
"What do you mean?"
"The young alpha has returned home."
"Home? I'll just see him one I get out of the hospital."
"No," she shakes her head. "He's gone back to Germany."
The fact hits me like a ton of bricks, and my mind feels numb from the blow.
"Germany," she says sympathetically. "He's gone back after that night."
It was so typical of Benji to just enter my life without warning and then to leave it the same way. A dry laugh escapes me turning into full out hysterical laughter. The Witch looks at me pitifully. The laughter slowly turns into tears. Why does everything bad always seem to happen to me.
The Witch glides over and comforts me by hugging my body. I always tried to do the right thing in life, but it always feels like anything that truly makes me happy slips right through my fingers.
"What should I do?" I ask and look towards the Witch for guidance.
"That's something for you to decide, my dear," she says with a sad smile.
"You can let this end and keep it as a memory, or you could do something about it," she says vaguely.
"Do something," I feel the cogs in my head working. I'm done with blindly following the path that has been paved for me and listening to others. I'm going to take control of my life.
"Do you-" I look towards the Witch to ask her another question, but she's gone.
"Poof," I say to myself. "Magic."
I look at the room around me filled with warm and generic words of friends and family wishing me a good recovery. The TV is still on, stuck on channel playing some dull television program. The mundane, I muse.
I know what I have to do.