“But, I love you!”
My heart stopped. All that was left for me was to faint and never come back to earth. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
Silvic noticed my hesitation, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to shock you. You can take your time. You are mine anyway.”
“I am- I am not anyone’s.” I simply muttered as I had to say anything. Anything meant anything. I only wanted to open my mouth to spurt out some words so that they would learn that I wasn’t dumb.
“You are.” Those two words made me shut up. It wasn’t because he said it furiously but because of the emotions he put into it. I shifted my gaze from his eyes. I felt too many weird feelings, which I couldn’t define, inside of me when I looked at him.
I felt like denying it would hurt his feelings. I mentally groaned, when did I start to consider his feelings?
“I should have brought the popcorn.” It was Alex who commented that making me roll my eyes. I was kind of relived that he opened his nonsense as the tension that was forming decreased a little bit.
“Stop spurting out nonsense.” Silvic told him.
Alex shrugged, “I am outta here. The tension is making me tensed.” He wrapped his arms around him and faked his shivering to prove his point.
“I’ll just continue to sleep.” I mumbled and lied down on the bed, again.
Shouldn’t I just go home? I thought, staring up at the ceiling.
Yes, but I don’t want to go home. I really wanted to stay with Silvic. I was done trying to figure out my feelings. From this point, I would just do whatever the hell my mind wanted.
“Umm. I should go too.”
I continued to look up at the ceiling, “Don’t go.” Was it my voice? Was it his voice? Or was it Alex mimicking me? I just knew that the voice came from my side.
It was probably my body doing shit on its own.
“Should I stay?” Silvic’s voice came out slow as if he couldn’t believe that I just said something.
I feel it too, Silvic. I, too, couldn’t believe that the words came out of my mouth.
“Yes.” I patted the space next to me indicating him to come and sleep next to me.
I couldn’t see his expression as I was still staring at the ceiling, but I feel like his face was probably gracing a bewildered expression.
“Are you sure?” I could hear his footsteps.
I turned to face him. He was standing beside the bed I was on, “Yeah.” My voice was too soft. I wondered if he had heard my word. I got the answer when his expression changed.
I could swear that my heart was beating so loud that even Silvic could hear it. He lied down next to me. We both didn’t say anything. Our bodies were not even touching so why was my body burning like it was on fire?
“Let me hold you.”
I was mess by then. My heart felt like it was going to come out from my chest. I could hear the way my heart was beating in its unsteady rhythm.
I didn’t say anything, only an ‘Hmmmm’ left from my mouth. I didn’t know why but I couldn’t open my mouth. No one was physically holding me back but the gravity of the situation was making me lose my mind.
I found myself smiling in a creepy way when Silvic put his hand on my waist. I moved my face in the opposite direction from him so that he couldn’t see me in my horrific state.
It was when I wanted to remove my hair from my face; I realized that my hands were gripping the bed sheet in a tight hold.
Why the hell am I so nervous? I thought to myself. It wasn’t like Silvic was going to eat me at any moment. Why the hell was I so nervous? My mind kept thinking about the different foolish things that I might do.
For instance, I was wondering how Silvic would react if I were fart now. Would he be disgusted? Or would he just laugh it off?
I was in the midst of thinking these wonderful scenarios, when I remembered a line that a certain someone told me, Kiss him if you want to find your answers.
Isn’t this a perfect opportunity to kiss him? I silently thought. I bit my lips ’Should I just kiss his lips off?’ Or should I just give peck?
But what if he would reject me? Wait, do I have a bad breathe? I was trying to process what exactly I ate before coming here. I could come up with nothing. Was my memory seriously this bad? Did I seriously forget what I ate for breakfast today?
I mentally laughed at my own memory. I was forgetful. I couldn’t handle my emotions. I can’t even tell what I feel at this moment. How the heck did Silvic end up loving a girl like me? What did I do?
I was thinking about all the bad things that were engraved in my personality when Silvic asked me a question, “Will you mind if I Kiss you?”