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I was the one left cold in the street without any friends. As much as I wished it wasn't true, Amanda and Shreyas were a thing, and they were everywhere. Amanda and Shreyas making out in the hallway, Amanda and Shreyas eating together in the quad, Amanda and Shreyas going to homecoming, it was all about Amanda and Shreyas.

I shipped his phone to him, but I kept his sweater for months. I refused to let go of the one thing I had to show for the years of pining after the one person I would never, could never, have. It still smelled like him. Sometimes I would just wear it around the house, holding it closer to me as if it was Shreyas I was holding, not his sweater. After a couple of weeks it no longer smelled like him and started to smell like B.O., and tears. My mom had to wash it while I wasn't home, because she knew I would never let her do it if I was.

To be honest, I was glad I didn't give it back, that meant giving up not just the sweater, but him, and I definitely wasn't ready for that. But even though I may be ready to make amends, it seemed he definitely wasn't.

/ /

"Shreyas?" He was standing at his locker, attempting to stuff his huge basketball duffle into the shallow metal box. His eyebrows were knotted in concentration, his tongue between his teeth, and all I could think was how beautiful he was.

He ignored me.

"Shreyas," I said, more demanding. Still nothing, he just kept looking forward.

He finally got his duffel to fit in his locker, and faster than I could even process he slammed the locker door in my face.

For a second I couldn't separate the sound of metal slamming into metal and the sound of my heart breaking.

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