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Not Like This

By schoolstdygirl All Rights Reserved ©

Romance

Unease

It's almost every girl's dream to get married. More importantly, to get married to the one person who loves you the most. Yet, why you were unable to fall asleep? It's the night before your wedding for god's sake! Your stomach shouldn't be filled with nervous butterflies fluttering around, causing you to feel slightly sick; you should be feeling giddy with excitement! 

'Get it together,' you thought to yourself. 'You're getting married in the morning.' You looked over at your sleeping fiancé. He was sleeping so peacefully, as if there was nothing to worry about. Guess he didn't have any pre-wedding jitters. So then why did you? Trying to shake off that uneasy feeling, you decided to go for a walk alone. 

Good thing you both agreed on having the wedding near the beach, it was a very calming place to be. Seeing how it was still pretty early, there was no one on the beach but you, allowing you to really take in nature's beauty. Taking a seat on the sand, you stared out towards the horizon, a sense of loneliness washing over you. Why was it that you couldn't get rid of this shaky feeling? As the wind blew gently, you felt a tear fall down your face slowly. Shocked, you reached up to wipe the tear away, only to have teardrops more follow.

'Why am I crying?,' you wondered to yourself, trying to wipe the wipe all your tears away. 'I must be happy to be getting married.' But as you glanced towards the night sky, you knew that wasn't true. This isn't what you wanted. Sure you've always wanted to get married, but not like this. You didn't love your fiancé. You'd always try to hypnotize yourself into thinking that you love him, but there was no denying it: you marrying him was more of an obligation, not of love. Yes your fiancé was a good man, but he wasn't him. The one you truly loved. 


As you finally accepted the truth, there was no holding back your tears. Crying into your hands, you let all of your grief flow out. Oh why did it have to turn out like this? You were so happy with him, but when your father suddenly fell ill, it all went downhill. Instead of spending nights with him, you were at the hospital more often. And when the hospital bills started to stack up, you turned to him for help, but he couldn't do much; he himself didn't have much money. So that's where your fiancé stepped in. Your fiancé was the son of a family friend, a wealthy family that is. Seeing how you and your mom were struggling with all the hospital expenses, he decided to lend a hand. And when your boyfriend saw how your mom accepted "the family savior" with open arms, he knew he had been replaced. Not by you, but by your mom.

Your mom had never really approved of your boyfriend, always thought he wasn't good enough for you. Sure he wasn't filthy rich, but he had a good heart and was always willing to give up his own needs to help others. Sadly, your mom could never see that; she only saw what was on the outside, an average boy just trying to make a living. Seeing that he was replaced, your boyfriend left, leaving behind an "I'm sorry" note for you to find. Boy did you cry your eyes out that night. But there was no way about it, he had left and you'd probably never find him. 

As your mom continued to accept financial help from the family's son, you grew a bit cautious. You had seen the longing looks he's been giving you, but you weren't ready to move on. He and his family continued to help provide for your father's medical treatments, up until your father's full recovery. During the celebratory dinner, he suddenly proposed to you in front of both families. You couldn't help but stare at him in shock. 'But I thought we were just friends,' you pondered to yourself. As you opened your mouth to reject him, you saw your mom give you a glare from across the table. Instantly you knew, there was no escape. You and your family owed him too much. So you had no choice but to say "yes" to his marriage proposal. And here you were, the night before the big wedding. There was no turning back now. Looking up and noticing how it was almost morning, you quickly wiped your tears and headed back to your room.


"Hey babe," your fiancé greeted you when you laid back down in bed. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Yea, guess I'm too excited," you lied through your teeth, turning so your back faced him. You didn't want him to see that you had been crying.

"Well, at least try to get some rest. Don't want you to fall asleep during our wedding," he joked.

"I know," you replied, hoping that that would be the end of your conversation. You tried as best you could but still didn't get any rest. When morning finally came, you felt the other side of the bed tip, indicating your fiancé had woken up. Hearing him walk over to your side of the bed, you quickly closed your eyes, hoping he'd be under the false pretense that you were asleep. Once he had definitely left the room, you rolled over, allowing yourself to to just lay flat on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. You stayed that way for about an hour or so before determining that it was time to get up and go take a shower. 

Coming out of the shower, you were greeted by your fiancé; he had come back from his morning jog.

"Hey, you smell great," he said as he wrapped his arms around you, taking a whiff of your hair.

"Thanks," you replied. Pulling away discreetly, you went and sat down at the vanity, pretending to be readying yourself when all you really wanted was for him to leave you alone. 

"You hungry?," he asked as he held up a sandwich.

"Not right now," you answer as you stared blankly into the mirror, brushing your hair. "I'll probably eat a little something later." Giving a nod, he walked out of the bedroom as he continued to eat his sandwich. Sighing, you put the brush down and laid your head down on the vanity. Truthfully, you didn't want to eat anything. You already felt like puking and any food would make it even worse. Hearing your fiancé coming towards the room, you quickly sat up straight and started to do your hair. 


"Do I really have to do this?," you asked. Your mom had come to check up on you. You had already finished your hair, did your makeup, and slipped into your wedding dress. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, staring out towards the ocean when your mom slipped into your room. 

"You know the answer to that," she replied coldly.

"But mom, I don't love him!," you protested.

"Who knows? Maybe you'll learn to love him in the future," she retorted.

"You and I both know that will never happen. Not when my heart belongs to someone else." Your mom's eyes widened with anger.

"You need to forget about that silly boy and focus on your priorities!," she yelled. "He would never be able to provide for you!"

"How would you know?," you yelled back. "You never gave him the chance!"

"I didn't need to give him a chance, I could just tell by looking at him." You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Even now your mom refused to accept him because of his financial position. Was money all that mattered to your mom? You were about to react when you both heard a knock at the door. Turning to the door, both of you were a bit surprised when your fiancé poked his head in.

"Everything alright?," he asked, a little concerned.

"Oh, not to worry," your mom replied. "She's just a little jittery, that's all."

"Well, the ceremony is going to start in about fifteen minutes," your fiancé noted.

"Don't worry," said your mom. "She'll be ready by then." Giving a sigh of relief, your fiancé left the room once again. Once he was gone, your mom turned to you with a deadly look.

"You listen here," she warned. "The moment we accepted his family's financial help, you knew your fate. It may not be to your liking, but you're gonna have to deal with it and learn to love that man, whether you like it or not. Understood? Now, I will see you downstairs in ten minutes." She turned on her heel and left the room, leaving you to gawk at her in awe. Who would save you now?

You took your father's arm as you awaited your cue. Your father beamed at you with glory.

"My little girl, getting married," remarked your father. "Didn't think I'd live to see it."

"Dad, don't say such things," you asserted. "At least not right now." 

"Alright, alright," complied your dad. "Just so proud that you've turned into a wonderful lady."

"Thanks, dad." Just then, the wedding march was heard and your father led you out. It was an outdoor wedding, something you've always wanted. Thankfully your fiancé didn't mind the idea. As your father brought you closer and closer to the altar, you felt everyone's eyes on you. It only made the panic settle in faster.

'There really is no way out,' you thought to yourself as your father handed you over to your fiancé. Forcing a smile on your face, you both turned to face the priest. As the priest continued the sermon, you couldn't help but zone out. Was there really no escape?

"And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?," asked the priest, breaking you out of your reverie. You nervously glanced over at your husband-to-be. He looked at you eagerly, anticipating your answer.

"I...I," you started to say. Suddenly, you heard your name being called. You turned to see him, standing at the end of the aisle. Tears started flowing down your face as your legs started moving on their own, pulling you towards him. 

"I can't believe it's you!," you exclaimed, throwing your arms around his neck as he embraces you. By now, almost everyone was staring at the two of you in shock, but you didn't care.

"I had to come," he replied. "Wasn't about to let you make the biggest mistake of your life." You couldn't help but smile. 

"But how did you know where I was?," you asked.

"This," he said as he pointed to his heart, "will always be connected to yours; I will always find a way to you." He gives a sheepish grin, making you smile at his corny statement. 

"Oh, you," you said as you lean into his chest.

"Now what do you say about us getting out of here?," he asked. You took a look at the crowd behind you. Most of the people appeared to be whispering to each other, probably making up some story about you having a lover. It was true though, he was your lover, not your so-called fiancé.  Your eyes then met your mother's. You could tell how furious she was.

"Yea, let's get out of here," you said as you turned to run. You heard your mother screaming your name, but you didn't care. This was your chance at freedom. Hopping into his car, you tossed the bouquet out the window as he started to drive off down the road.

"I hope you don't mind, but I don't really have a destination in mind so we'll probably be driving around aimlessly for a while," he admits.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," you answer as the two of you drove off into the horizon. 


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