What is love?
A million dollar question no one has a fucking answer.
Is it guilt that I had to leave without saying a word to her? Or the fear that if I start to show too much of me, she will run away?
“Where’s your fucking head?” Reaper muses finishing a shot. I also look at where are his eyes at and gulp down another drink. Our target is still talking...that’s good I guess. It gives me more time to think of my own fucking problem.
“Not anywhere near your ass, for sure,” I mumble struggling to make out the other man’s face. I also wonder if Xavier already knows we are here trailing him. But then again, Lethal made sure we were using fake identities. Hence, our eye color was changed with blue contacts, our hair matching with platinum blonds.
“Don’t be a party pooper. I’m already bored watching this asshole blubbing for over half hours. You see any suspicious movement?” Is it already has been more than half an hour?
“Nope. That bald man is looking outside every five minutes though. Let’s just hope he’s not trying to blow this fucking place apart. We have been in too much explosion site lately. Still, I will let Hawk check out the front.” As soon as I look at the other booth, Hawk stands up nodding. Thankfully both of them are too busy to talk that they don’t notice Hawk open the door and walk out.
I don’t know if my warning gets through Reaper’s head or not but his fingers drum over the table top a little louder, the shaking of his legs under the table goes a little faster and his jaw clenches trying not to see outside where the asshole was looking at a second ago.
“I really hope you are right, Snipper. I have no fucking desire to get burned over a desperate bastard. You know what I am saying?” I know what it fucking means. Xavier is being too reckless. The Xavier we all know will never hold a business meeting in an open bar like this place. Running a club might not be my forte-but giving anyone an open chance to attack? That’s just stupidity on his part. And he sure as hell wouldn’t look like a dead man walking. Hell, even a zombie has more class than him nowadays.
“I know.” I shrug thinking about the woman I left in the bed. “You think Foxy is still pinning after him? This shell of a dead man?”
Reaper laughs. Not so loud to get the attention of those two but enough to chill the whole bar. “Please, she’ll pin after him even if he’s dead. No matter what she won’t fucking stop.”
I nod. Cause even I am walking in Foxy’s, Lethal’s, Vixen’s steps...and every fucking one of them has been burned by this word love. So what if even I got burned in the way? Good fucking riddance then...cause I no longer fucking care.
“Hey, he’s leaving.” I withdraw from my thoughts just in time to see the bald man standing up and shaking hands with Xavier. The former one looks stiff as a rod, wiping sweats from his forehead with a handkerchief and Xavier looks finally relived. I don’t see any manila folder in anyone’s hand but that doesn’t mean Xavier wouldn’t try to mess with the Serpent’s peace treaty.
So only when the man walks out that we stand up. Reaper meets my gaze and nods. “Xavier’s mine to deal with. You stalk that bald fucker.”
Nodding I hide my face by drawing the hoodie farther over my head and leave Reaper to finish his job. I don’t have to walk much farther to catch the bald man. He’s walking faster but with an intention. His eyes are darting from left to right before he enters into an alleyway. Intrigued, I follow him through the dark alleys but I’m surprised when suddenly I hear a loud shriek in the cold night.
Fuck...someone else caught him before me.
“Hey! Leave me alone!” His voice cracks as if someone is choking him or has thrown him a punch right into his face. Whatever I was thinking before walking into where he screamed, disappears and another feeling punches me in the heart. Shock?
The said person narrows his eyes at my side but when he notices it’s me, there’s a predatory smile in his face. Fuck! He’s not even surprised. “Seth...Just the man I wanted to see.”
To be fair, there’s a difference between insanity. Lethal is the type who knows how to care and be mad at the same time, Xavier has just lost his mind and his way even if he pretended to be good enough to handle being a President and Carter...He’s just plain crazy. There’s not in between with him.
“What the fuck are you doing with him?” Or better question why was he here right now.
“Oh come on!” His fist tightens around the bald man’s neck against my better judgment. “You were gonna catch him anyway.”
“Not like that.” What the fuck is wrong with him!? “Carter, don’t play games. I had a bad day and I don’t want to have a bad night thanks to you.”
His gaze drifts down to the man on his knees and he laughs. His laughter is full of mockery...to who’s benefit only he knows. “Seth, the trusted member of the Serpents and you still are the naive one. You don’t know shit! Do You? Do you even know who he is?”
No, I don’t. Tucker just let us know about the meeting but he never said who Xavier is meeting or for what purposes. But that didn’t fucking mean that I’ve to deal with a crazy cousin now. So my voice is steady when I walk even closer to where he is.
“Who is he, Carter? What the hell didn’t I know yet?”
The man watches us in fear clear in his eyes and yet there’s an urgency in them. He’s eying the alley for some reason. Did he really think that he can outrun us? Even now? What a fool...
“That cop I told you about.” Just like that her dead eyes flashes over me. The one filled with pain. The one I saw every day until she wanted me to erase her monsters. “The one who refused to write a report. Who is working for someone. Who you are hunting like crazy. I’m offering him in a silver plater and you are still angry with me. How the fuck our deal is going to work if you don’t even trust me?”
The cop...The one refused to write a report.
He was that man.
That fucking bastard.
“Are you sure, cuz? Is this the same scumbag?” I don’t notice the gun in my hand until the man lets our a curse.
“He is. I’ve been trailing him for a week. But I must say, I didn’t expect you to catch up with me.” He frowns as if I’m not capable of killing the cop right now. As if...I’m not losing my shit right here.
“Well, I did.” There is a twitch in the man’s face as I look down at him. “Now, you tell me what the fuck have you been doing with Xavier?”
“I-I don’t-” He trails off as a hiss leaves from his lips. My hands are replacing Carter’s. I’m the one choking him. I’m the one terrorizing him. And I fucking love it. “He threatened to expose me! That’s why! Fuck, leave me! I’m not the one you’re looking for.”
“Exposing for what?” I wonder.
“A gang war went wrong in New York. I took the wrong side. I-I gave people money to shut their mouth off. After my retirement, I was supposed to get a safehouse from the other side cause I was working for them now. I was a mole.” No fucking wonder. “But somehow Xavier got a bunch of names and he’s threatening to expose every one of us if we don’t give him money and people to build his club. Now I’m suffering the consequences.”
Oddly enough I don’t feel enough pity to kill him yet. I want more. I want to know what Grace told him that night.
“Hmm. This Xavier sure sounds like a wise man.” Carter retorts chuckling. Though that man has his eyes on me. Hell, even he knows, I’m the one calling shots now.
“Two years ago, a girl came to you to report a breaking in and sexual harassment on her sister. She even had a murder to report. Her mother...Penelope Knight, I believe. Can you say us anything about that?” He jumps back when the gun gets too close to his forehead. Good. Fear me. Tell me the truth...Relive me from her darkness.
He gets a second to answer. His eyes dart one more time at the end line of the alley before he opens his mouth. “I work for them. I-I can’t break the omerta.”
Omerta? Mad Dog didn’t work with a cartel...or did he? That bastard is many things but working with a cartel-that was pushing it too far. But what if he was? There was no way he could have gotten away with that incident if there wasn’t a place where he would get shelter. He disappeared back then, didn’t he? Left Southside to show everyone that he lost to Lethal when in truth he was just escaping. But to where? Who helped him escape?
“I told you this cop lives on dirty money. Fucking liars.” Carter curses giving him a smug smile.
Oh, what do you know...A cop working for a cartel. Why am I not surprised?
“You don’t have to say a name, cop. Just tell me what cartel I need to destroy tonight.” Now I know what Grace felt all those months. Waiting, plotting to take revenge on every MC. Fire is burning through my vein to take all of them out. Every cartel until there’s nothing left to destroy.
“No puedo decirte.” There’s a defiance on his voice he says that. He didn’t say what cartel but I already know. And I can’t wait to destroy them. But first thing first.
“Go.” I know the man sounds surprised. Even Carter gives me a look to say as if what the hell am I doing. “Go now before I do something!”
The man doesn’t have to say anything. He winces when he stands up but there’s a stagger in his step when he runs towards the end of the alley.
“Tell me, Carter, does this man have any family?” He shakes his head frowning.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Last chance cuz, is there anyone he has as a weakness?” The gun clicks and in a second it’s on it’s target.
“No, he hasn’t. But do you really think you can shot him with this distance? You are going to miss.” He warns.
This time. I’m the one with a mocking smile. “Do you really think he’s not going to run his mouth? And I’m known as Snipper for a reason.”
I raise the gun and-
I don’t even hear the scream that echoes through the alley. The blood that spills on the ground is his but the scream that rips me apart paints a different picture. It shows me a pigtail, a dress, a small figure hovering over the body with a terrified face.
I-I don’t know the man who stands there anymore. I was a killer, not a murderer. But right now, seeing this girl cry for his father-
“Shit!” Carter curses tugging my shirt. “We’ve to go, Seth. Fuck! Run!”
“Y-You said he didn’t have anyone, Carter. You promised!” I don’t care how loud I am. I can’t see that picture. I want to burn it. I want to forget that I was the one painting it. I-I need her touch. I need to know I’m not one of those monsters...
“Well, I didn’t know, Ok? But for the love of God, now go!” I hate that my feet work. I hate when I reach the bar, with Reaper whining about losing Xavier when he was flirting with a girl, I hate when reaching the club my feet take me to her room. And I hate when she doesn’t even hate me when my legs give out in front of her. I hate that she listens to me as I’m not the monster she should be afraid of. As if I didn’t cry out-