He stares at me dead. There’s no confusion or curiosity in those blue eyes. He knows just as I know. Yet he wants to hear the words from me. He merely gives me a minute and asks again. “Why, Kitty? Why were you scared for me?”
The answer is simple.
“Because I care.” My eyes drift from his intense gaze. “Or maybe it’s because I need you.”
I smell him even before I see him move. His form looks just like a shadow in the half-lit office. And when he reaches me, it’s only silence and him. And the half of me that’s still clinging to the hope of becoming just Gwen.
“Have you any idea what we’ve done?” He strokes his jaw as one would do to the animal they are going to slaughter. He doesn’t even sound human. It’s a strange contrast with his calm demeanor. “It’s too late, Kitty. Too late to back down. I’ve become your weakness just as you are mine.”
I should shake him off. I should protest. No, it’s not too late! I can yet leave. I can go out of the Southside. They’ve been watching me for God knows how many years. They’ve been waiting for me to get better. Was that their plan after all? Give me hope for a better life only to break me again? And if they know where I am then they will know that I’ve left. I can get them out of this town, this clubhouse.
But he’s right. I clutch the desk behind me harder. When that man drew the gun, my first thought was Seth and his safety. Not me. Not even my sister. Just him. And maybe now it’s too late.
I fight the need to beg. Don’t tell me it’s too late. Don’t tell me that I can’t be his addiction anymore. That he has mistaken the idea of love. Please don’t.
Before I can say any of them aloud his hands are on me and he’s dragging me out of the office. Only when we go through the kitchen to another room that he stops. I don’t know what his plan is. I don’t even know if he has a plan or he wants anything to do with me right now.
“When we go to that room, I want you quiet. Anything happens, don’t talk at all. Understood?” Only a desperate man sounds like him. So I give him what he wants. I nod. But it’s not enough this time.
He shakes my shoulder making me look at him. “I need words, Kitty. Do you understand?”
His sigh reaches my ears like a drug. Is he annoyed? I hope not. The loud knock is what brings me to watch everything play. He knocks again with irritation seeping from his body that the door opens.
Steel hazel eyes bore into him and his jaw hardens. “What the fuck are you doing here now?”
“I saw something interesting today. So I thought to let you know.” Is Seth going to tell him? Poor Lethal doesn’t even know what’s happening. “I saw Desmond today at the arena with a gun aimed at my fucking head. Wanna tell me who did the cleaning duty after that massive slaughter, Prez?”
For a second I feared that Lethal’s heart stopped. He looks at both of us with questions I know he wouldn’t get. It feels like ages passed away before a snarl reaches my ears. Looking up I’ve to force myself not to wince. The sneer is clear on Lethal’s face as he glares at Seth.
“Fuck, Snipper! This ain’t the time for a joke, brother.”
Someone laughs. His chest heave as he continues to laugh. I think he even surprised Lethal. “Y-You think I’m joking, brother? Imagine looking at the eye of someone you thought was killed by you, Prez. Then tell me if I’m fucking joking!”
My heart beat faster the longer Lethal prolongs an answer. And when he finally answers, I know I’m going to break my promise.
“Fine. We will catch the fucker. And you can get another chance to kill him. This time making sure that he’s actually dead.”
“No.” I don’t even realize that I’ve spoken up. His gaze hardens and I can almost hear what he was going to say if Lethal was not here.
You think you can break a promise and not suffer? You think I can’t handle this, Kitty? You don’t trust me? But everything I did was for you.
“Why is she here?” Lethal asks with confusion. But I’m already out of the room running towards mine. My mind is on another world, my hands work on to empty the cabinet. Tops, jeans, sweater, pills...what else? Escape or go back? I empty another desk only to find a picture of me and Grace. I will never say it to my sister but honestly? I was better off gone.
No more revenge. No blood. No...addiction.
The last item drops on the bag and suddenly someone has destroyed my half hours of work. Every item is on the floor, looking as broken, confused as I am. A hand lung forward forcing me to stagger and trapped against the wall.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Blue eyes watch me pant in...what? Anger that I couldn’t leave before him or the fire that’s starting to burn me alive.
His hands are too punishing when they start a torturous journey to my unsettled shirt to my bared thigh. His grin widens to hear my breath hitch. “Were you trying to leave, Kitty?”
Yes, I was. For him, I would.
“I don’t like it. I don’t like it when you run from me.” He makes it harder to take air when he pulls me in for a kiss. This time it’s all teeth and tongue. There’s not enough time to feel him. He withdraws from me even before I can grasp his taste in my tongue.
“You’re being selfish, Kitty. You want to leave.” He grubs my hands twisting them on my back. And none too gentle so all I can do is moan in protest. “You don’t get to keep me. I shouldn’t even touch you now.”
“You can’t do this.” He can’t. He can’t take away my salvation...Not like this. I think even he knows.
“Why not?” I expect him to be angry. But he is more than angry. He’s just fucking my mind instead of fucking me. One hand slides under my shirt to rip it apart. A painful hiss leaves from his lips that I can’t stop myself to arch my back.
“Fuck! You’ll be the death of me.” How ironic. I want to laugh. But a moan leaves from my mouth when he strips me bare from all clothes and pulls me up only to drop me into the untangled bed.
“Seth. I need you, please!” I hear him groan in my ear. The warm feeling between my thighs makes it harder to keep my eyes open when my hands find him. Larger, thicker than ever. Even I want to leave he owns me. Heart and soul.
“Yes! You need me, Kitty!” His voice is harsh against my neck. I can almost hear me saying back yes! yes! yes! He hands slide between my legs and tease me with his thumb until he pushes two of his fingers inside me. My sight goes black when he goes back and forth, pushing me to give into him. His nails rake through my hips making me arch more. “You will only ever need me.”
He kisses me again. I feel him pulsing against my stomach. My hands sleek with his arousal. Suddenly my hands are pulled back and he rams into me. I scream, he groans. His mouth is on my heaving breast, sucking, biting, leaping away. My head falls back gripping his hair tightly.
“F-Fuck! Fuck Seth!” My skin prickles with his heat. His pulls out only to slam back again. My legs shake to hold on and I scream when he hits repeatedly that place. Slower, harder, faster. His eyes meet mine and I’m gasping to let go. “L-Love you.”
“Come, Kitty.” He’s like a drug I can’t forsake. So I come. I come until tears are falling down my cheeks. Until he’s groaning my name over and over. I can get off him to that sound. I can get off to anything he does. He has fucked his way to my soul after all.
“Was I too rough?” It’s the first thing he asks but I’m not even bruised. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. He was right through. Cause he is the only thing in my skin.
When he doesn’t get a word from me, he sighs. “Are you still leaving?”
“No.” I can’t. He ruined that path for me. “I can’t.”
“Good.” He rasps kissing my forehead. “Cause I’m teaching you how to kill from tomorrow. You need to learn how to use guns for your own safety. I’m not risking it anymore.”
The temptation to say no is screaming in my head. I can’t go back to my promise. I want to be just Gwen. I don’t want to be like Grace. I-I can’t kill. I was a Knight. Knights don’t give up on their dreams. They don’t lie. They don’t kill. But at the end of the day being a Knight-
It meant nothing...