The worse kind of nightmare isn’t the one you have in your sleep. It’s the one that won’t leave you alone even if you’re very much awake. Much like my terror of the night has been starting to morph into something my conscious state hates. Like that man in this room. Who looked at me like I meant something.
Like he recognized my pain.
I know it’s a lie. I know my mind is playing a game with me. Now the question is, who did the man belonged. Did he belonged to my dark nightmares or was he someone I can trust?
I am trying to protect you here, Kitty.
Who was Kitty?
Who is this person he talked about so fondly? It couldn’t be me. Not when he snatched his hands away from my touch as if I burned him. As if I disgust him. Like the others. He was just like everyone. When I only wanted to know if he was real. If these people weren’t just a fragment of my mind.
“Oh thank God, you are alright!” The door burst open with a force that I have to keep my body from lurching away. Not that it would do any good considering I will only end up rolling on the floor. I snort thinking about my poor excuse of control towards my own body.
“Gloria?” Only then my name is being said that I look up. Red hair spills from the worn down jacket that I have no doubt who is it. But that doesn’t stop myself from gasping loudly.
“It’s ok,” Debra assures me grimacing. “Just a little blood. Not even mine.”
How is the hell she so clam? She’s bleeding for God sake!
“Hey, nobody touched you, right? I hope you didn’t see a thing.” She mutters clenching her fists. I have a lot of questions concerning her but I don’t have the energy to deliver them in words. So I do the only thing I know will let me know. I try to find a phone in the room.
“What are you looking for?” She asks furrowing her brows. It takes me a while but I end up noticing the small burner on the desk. Leaning over the bed I have to take a few breaths only to point toward the phone.
“You want something from the desk?” I fight down the frustration building inside me. She says some other thing’s names before her eyes light up. “You want the phone?”
I nod quickly giving her a small smile. She jumps from the bed to fetch me the phone and when it’s in my hand, I start to type. Courtesy of Debra, now I know another type of communication. Not that she is happy with my alternative choice instead of using my voice.
“What happened?” I let her see the words and she lets out a sigh. I don’t like the hardness in her eyes when she states.
“It’s better if I let you know when Snipper is here.”
I don’t know who Snipper is or care to know. I only want answers. So I type again.
“Debra if you think of me as your friend, please tell me.” She reads my writing with a sigh. Crack- my mind screams- please just tell me.
“This is unfair! I’m not allowed to say a thing or- my life is in line too.” Her words doesn’t make sense. But the distant fear in her voice does.
“Why am I here?”
I at least deserved to know why I was here. Didn’t I?
“Urgh! You’re going to make me spill! The facility was attacked. The people who were after you tried to harm you. But we took care of it.” The people after you...My heart throbs in pain as I remember them. They were here. Just a little step and they would’ve been near me.
Invading my mind like every time. Only this time it would be real.
“Fuck she feels so good.” The man in front of me has crooked teeth. He gives me a disgusting smile when I try to bite down his dick. I’m stupid enough to think that I’m forgiven for that. My spine tenses when the sudden slap echoes through the room. A cry leaves my lips before I can stop myself.
Please no more...
They don’t stop though. They don’t hear my plea. They only laugh. They find pleasure in my misery. So I stop crying. I stop feeling. My gaze lingers at the radio where a classical music is playing. Was Grace dancing again?
One after another invades my soul.
Stop feeling, Gwen.
Pain like no other irrupts inside me when two of them goes at it together. Flesh hitting flesh never sounded so painful. Someone grunts tearing my hair in their tight grip.
Fight, Gwen...or just give up.
Who do I listen though?
“You want to take my place?” I’m knocked out of my breath when someone forces me on my knees. My jaw hurts but I know they could care less of that. Four men...against the little ol me.
Did I ever have a chance?
My throat is painfully dry when Debra catches me off guard by taking my clenched fist over her hand. I’m freezing. Even if the room is warm, my body is shaking. And her comfort isn’t enough. I need Josh. I need my sister’s smile. I-I need that man to tell me everything will be alright.
What is she sorry for?
I don’t get the answer though. Cause in a minute another person is standing near the door, waiting for me to adjust my sight. When I do, I’m surprised to see the change in those blue eyes. They are hard and cold. His jaw is clenched making me wonder what he was so angry about.
No. It isn’t the man. Beside him, I don’t even know who I see anymore. Her arms are burned, the skin looks painful. A long scar runs through her ear to cheek. Looking back at the ear, I notice it’s pruned. My mind can’t connect the dots. It can’t understand why the familiar figure looks so much as a stranger. When she takes a step closer to me, angry tears spilling from her eyes I can only laugh internally.
I was a fool. All along a sacred poor fool. No wonder the man in the dark calls me Kitty. I thought she was fine. I thought she was saved from the darkness. I thought the monsters didn’t touch her. My mind keeps mocking- What a foolish girl you are Gwen. And here I thought-
I was the only one broken...