Kismet

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DEAD

I opened my eyes to a beautiful view of the blue sky. The sun was shielded by the white clouds thus there were rays of sunlight escaping the clouds, forming the beauty of nature that we will never ever get used to it. It must be late noon, normally at this hour I would be either in the class or office. What am I doing here, staring at the clouds?

There was something different about me. I felt rested, at peace unlike my usual days of stress and tiredness. I closed my eyes trying to remember and it all came back to me. I sat up straight and scanned my surrounding, looking for the motorcycle. To my utmost surprise I found myself lying at the sidewalk instead of the middle of the road. There is no crowd surrounding me but the two wrecked vehicles were there. The was a long barricade tape surrounding the accident area with red cones, signs of the ongoing police investigation. I got up and saw a drawing of human figure inside the sealed area. It was like the ones from the CSI series. I wanted to go over to take a closer look but instead I examine my surrounding which appeared rather unusual than I have always seen. This is one of the busiest road but I saw no cars and the same for people. The whole place was empty.

I recalled the scared mum and son getting stuck in between the fast coming cars, it was a miracle that both got out of the situation unhurt. Where are they? And whose chalk outline was that?

I had the odd tingling feeling as though I was not alone as I thought, as though someone is watching me. I turned around and staggered back a few steps. He was standing right behind me. I was sure I didn't see him seconds ago.

He watched me carefully, expressionless. I blinked a few time, expecting him to disappear but he didn't. He was in the same clothes I saw him earlier. There were a few details about him I missed in our previous meeting, including my dream world, his hair has a few streak of silver, as though he's in his late forties but he appeared to be twenty or so. His eyes were grey, the only colour on him.

I had too many questions to ask him as I recalled the memories of me dreaming about him and the times I met him in person. Somehow I felt it quite difficult to remember them easily.

"Am I dead?" The memory of me staring at him while I was lying on the road, hurting popped sending chills down my spine.

He nodded.

There was sorrow in his eyes.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at the accident spot and then at him, back and again desperately. Tears fell, I wiped them furiously and started to yell at him.

"No! This can't be..." I couldn't bear accept the truth. How do I know its the truth, I had no idea. I just know.

I knelt on the grassy ground and sobbed hard. I felt like I lost someone I loved. In a way it was true.

I looked up at him and even though I knew it was a hopeless question I muffled in between my sobs, "Am I dreaming?" He shook his head.

"You're here. This must be a dream. The whole thing must have been a dream. I have to wake up. Right now!" I yelled out loud adamantly. It was then he knelt down in front of me and lifted his hand to comfort me but a few hesitant seconds he decided against it. I stared into the eyes of the strange boy and heard him saying, "It's okay." His voice was soft as the winds' and soothing as the list of my sad songs in my playlist back at my rental home.

"Who are you?" I inquired him while trying to swallow the non stop sobs. He didn't even try to answer me instead he raised his hand and said, "Take my hand, everything will be alright." I stopped crying and looked at him quizzically. I stared down at his palm, "Where will you take me?"

"Somewhere peaceful." He stated with a small smile. I could see him trying hard to keep his expressionless facade because in this few minutes I could see through the sorrow and concern that he's struggling to hide.

"Somewhere far from here?"

"Yes." He answered in his angelic voice. I stood up abruptly and backed away from him. "No! I'm going nowhere." I started to sprint to my car but it was not there. I looked around while suppressing the urge to break down once again. What do I do now?

"Close your eyes." i heard the guy said to me. He was standing right next to me now, making me jump in shock. "How did you do that? I saw you were right there." I asked dumbfounded. "If you wish to go somewhere just close your eyes and think of the place." He ignored my question again.

I stared at him, waiting for him to laugh and say he was kidding but he didn't. He looked dead serious. Thinking that I have lost my mind, I closed my eyes.

After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and screamed hysterically when I saw myself laying on the hospital bed, looking lifeless. My body covered by the green hospital sheet. My dark complexion does not look so dark anymore. My face looked too pale, ashen. It was a frightening sight. My black hair looked awful. Dry blood clumped almost every strand of my hair. The room was empty or so I thought until I turned around and found the same guy standing still and watching me, as always. "You got to stop doing that." I warned him.

"I look awful." I said after a few minutes. Both of us simply stood in the room, I was looking at myself and he at me. "No, you don't." I heard him saying way too softly that I almost didn't hear it. His grey eyes intensified as he stare. By now I have gotten used to him watching me, somewhat his presence was comforting.

I stayed for the whole day and night. I couldn't bring myself to leave my body alone. I heard the doctors and nurses that had been checking on my body mentioning about my parents. I waited for my parents to arrive. I want to see them before the strange guy take me somewhere far away. When they arrived I regretted my decision. The sight of them breaking down as soon as they saw my lifeless body was heartbreaking. I could only stare at them, unable to comfort. Tears streamed down my cheek like river as I watched my mum leaned on my dad and cried out loud. My dad put his arm around her and sobbed silently.

I couldn't watch any longer, I closed my eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry, mum dad."

I didn't open my eyes immediately. Instead I listened to the sound of wave breaking at the shore. I felt the wind caress my wet cheeks. I opened my eyes and the sea was right in front of me.

"You could have avoided it. You don't have to put yourself through it." He said. I didn't turn to look at him, "I needed to see it myself. I needed the closure." I admitted.

I took off my flats and walked along the beach, enjoying the view bitterly. I longed for this place and here I am with the man from my dream.

It's dawn. The sun was about to rise. "Beautiful." I heard him saying. For the first time, instead of watching me, he was looking at the sky. The mixture of color was breathtaking.

I took the opportunity to study him. He was taller than me. He was really good looking, unlike other men he has the heavenly feature. Anyone with trouble mind would fell in peace when they looked at his calm and radiating face. The grey eyes found mine in seconds and our gaze locked. The color of his eyes grew softer and stunningly lighter. Though he was expressionless, I could see him feeling at ease here, no sorrow or sadness.

"Who are you?" I blurted out. He looked away at the sea. "Please." My voice shook a little. I have been dreaming about him for months now. It has become habit to dream and think about him every day. It's only fair for me to know him now, at least that small part of my life would not be a mystery.

Whatever peacefulness I saw in his eyes were gone, he looked down at me worriedly. Maybe he couldn't stand to watch me cry again. I know I have been crying a lot but I have got my excuse, i'm dead.

"Take my hand." He insisted. I looked at his palm but I was scared to do as he said. I don't want to leave this place, now or ever.

"Let's watch the sunrise." I left his hand hanging in the air and sat down on the white sand. I heard him sigh slightly and that made me smile. He's not robot for sure.

"You don't talk much do you?" I started as he sat beside me. He didn't reply. His gaze fixated on the upcoming sun, his expression was full of awe. I watched him instead of the sunrise.

"Are you an angel?" It felt ridiculous to ask that question.

He smiled despite himself.

"I'm merely a guider." He stated. "I'm here to assist you and guide you through this unfamiliar realm to your destination."

"Unfamiliar realm? This place is all I know. I don't want to leave." I could heard the stubbornness in my voice.

"You have no purpose here. You have to move on." He told me calmly.

"Move on? How could I ? I have so mu

ch planned on for my future. I have so many things I wanted to do. I'm not even done with my degree. Two more months I would have been graduated and pursued my dream to be a lawyer. I haven't even start travelling this world. I even planned out my first road trip with my friends after my exams. I haven't even fallen in love, meet the love of my life. How could I leave when I have so much to achieve and enjoy?" I kept on rambling about my wishes and plans. He listened intently as though I was giving a very important lecture.

"I could have done at least half of it if I was not too busy studying and working all the time." I realized regretfully. If only I had a second choice.

"Can't I stay?" I asked him. He shook his head. "You will get lost and I won't stay long to guide you."

"I will be left alone and lost." That's my future now.

"I will go with you but give me a moment, okay. It's not easy to say goodbye." I told him at last.

The sunrise was phenomenal as always. At least my one wish has been fulfilled. When I was a teenager I told myself that I would watch the sunrise in this place with a guy I'm in love with. Okay, not fulfilled but close enough.


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