Memories of Dandelions and Wishes
The seasons really do go by fast when I sit next to a window.
I see the roses wilt and regrow and I see the snow and the golden, crisp leaves flutter in the wind. Sometimes I see young birds flying for the first time or I see the fresh dew drops on the morning lawn. Other times, I see your face in my memories as I pause to think. We shared a lot of memories back when we still had classes together. I remember when we were walking outside – I saw some dandelions on the grass and I picked one up. We would just laugh and wish for random things before letting the white seeds take drift of the light wind. I would also remember the time where I gave you one of the dandelions I picked – and you would playfully blow the seeds in my direction as it got in my hair. You offered to pick them out – and you did so without a smile on your face. I remember that we both smiled and laughed at each other's silly antics and attempts – it was all so carefree back then.
As I blink again and stare through the window – I see another fragment of you in my head. I see a scene when we were outside again – this time; I prompted a conversation about gazing up from the fields we were walking on at night. I said it would be nostalgic and lovely – you said that it would be pretty cool. And it was the end of that.
Another time, when we were walking through the fields – I told you that the clouds above us looked pretty funny. You agreed and chuckled with me as we smiled and walked across the freshly mowed grass. That time, I found another dandelion and decided to wish on it. To my surprise, you suddenly reached out for it, but I managed to tease around with you before I gave it up happily for you. You just toyed with it and you asked me, "Hey, what do you want to wish for?" I gave it some thought and just stared up aimlessly at the clouds. Being completely honest, I'm actually content with everything I had. So I just answered with a simple and signature, "I don't know. What about you, though?" You just looked at me and smiled before looking back at the dandelion you were toying with.
"I would wish for more genies."
It was silly and a fascinating answer – but in truth, we didn't really need to wish for anything. We seemed pretty content about everything right now. And I was fine with that. And it seemed like he was fine with that too.
I remember another fond memory we shared – it is funny how everything I remember about the most is when we were outside – we were walking along the vast, grassy fields and I remember we were quiet that time when we walked together. I tried to think of a new topic we haven't discussed about yet, but all I got was an old topic about seeing the sunset and stargazing at night on this field. So I brought it up again. You said it would be pretty cool – and I agreed with you. At that time, you seemed to be smiling at a thought. And maybe I was too.
I blinked. I blinked again and again. There were a lot of moments I shared with you, didn't I? They were all coming in several waves and notions that overwhelmed me. But I let myself enjoy the wistful pieces of yesterday's past and indulged myself into reading old journal entries and old photos I took. I loved making new memories – they were all something I could actually look back and enjoy on.
Then I sat down in a chair – a lot of senses and vivid images appeared in my head. Everything seemed like a silent film today – I wonder why my mind was allowing myself to rerun these old feelings again?
So I see you again. This time, we're talking about the future and what will happen to us. You tell me that you'll be getting a job over the summer time and how you'll get to relax and do whatever you'd like. I just smile and go along; I just liked it when you smiled so amiably. Then you asked me what I was going to do. I was surprised – I didn't really know what to do with my life. And you were surprised to. You told me that I looked like the type of person who had everything planned out. But in reality – I didn't. I was just scared and uncertain what the future would bring to me. So I just gave you some plans I had in mind. Perhaps you saw the unsure look on my face, but you just smiled and told me, "It's alright if you're scared. Heck – maybe we shouldn't worry about it right now. Whatever happens, it happens. Just don't worry about it, 'kay?" And I believed in your words – at the time, it seemed like the good choice to do.
Then we were eclipsed in a silence. The nice kind of silence. We shared the quiet moment together as we walked straight ahead with the clouds drifting generously across the sky and the sun lightly tanning our skin. I remember that was a beautiful day outside when we were talking – and it was a really beautiful day.
Then you broke the silence:
"When the summertime arrives – I'm thinking about driving here and stargazing up here at night. I bet it would be pretty neat to see that."
I just glanced over at you with a look of surprise on my face. It was the first time you actually suggested that idea without me prompting it. You glanced down at me and cracked a smile before looking straight ahead again. "I think it'll be pretty cool and stuff. After all, you said so yourself that you like doing that, right?" you laughed and I began to smile, feeling a glow of happiness inside. "Maybe I would bring some friends along and stuff – it would be pretty cool – seeing the sunset and the stars up at night staring down at us."
I then laughed – and I thought you were being an idealistic kid back in elementary again. Then I cracked a wide grin – maybe that's how you felt about me when I said the same words from your mouth. Maybe we were both just big dreamers with simple dandelions and wishes. Maybe we were just two teenagers who just happen to find ourselves admiring the handiwork of our compatible nature. Or maybe – we just happen to be to lonely souls who found our place under the night sky.
And it was pretty funny – we seemed like two completely different people from each other. You were the punkish, skater boy type with a love for music and games. I wasn't exactly the feminine type, but my pretty face made me act like an intelligent and sweet girl whom your friends should idolize and respect. But in honesty – I just wanted to be myself for once. And so I did. I was able to be myself around you. And we clicked just like that. We shared a good passion o similar music tastes and we laughed at the silliest and most stupidest thing ever. I don't how we've never met each other, but I realize that it was just plain luck that we did. We were both in different schools and we all chose different classes. But just for this one time – we were able to spend time with each other as good friends. Like we've known each other for years. But in reality – I've only known you for one whole year. A memorable whole year.
And just like that – time begins to slip by again. It's out of my reach. And the summer finally lets us drift apart. I wonder what it'll be like – seeing you again. And I wonder if you've seen the sunsets I've seen, or the starry nights that I gazed up at. Maybe you've heard the crickets chirping outside, or the sunrises I haven't witnessed – but I know that we'll see each other again soon.
"What do you wish for?"
I always remember you asking me that every time I hand you a dandelion. I wasn't sure as always, but now – I'm beginning to know what I want.
And now I know what to wish for.
The first dandelion wish: "I want you to stay by my side, okay?"
The second dandelion wish: "I want us to be happy together, as friends, if you want."
The third dandelion wish: "When you're with me, I expect you to talk to me, and pay attention to me. Even if that sounds selfish – let me be selfish for once. It shows much I care about you. . .is that alright?"
The fourth dandelion wish: "No matter what happens – even if time and distance separates us – can you promise me that we'll always stay friends?"