The Loudest Silence

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“So you came after all.” A strikingly familiar voice spoke as my head snapped to the left. My heart rate, which was already heightened due to my fear that Rick would somehow find out about my whereabouts, intensified as my eyes landed on the two figures standing to my left. Mason had his hands shoved in the front pocket of his jeans as a giddy Fletcher stood by him holding what appeared to be a pile of tickets in his hands. It seemed like they had been at the carnival for a while seeing as Fletcher had won an array of tickets, probably from the game booths which were spilling with people.

I had tried my best to convince Isla to let me stay home and she go out without me, however, she was relentless, stating that it was the least I could do after what I had “put her through”. If there was one thing that girl was good at doing, it was guilt tripping people and pulling out the theatrics because it wasn’t long before I reluctantly agreed. I barely had any contact with Roman since I had last seen him, and I was just hoping that he wouldn’t be around tonight. He would give me the same disapproving stare he always gave, which always left me wondering if he would eventually inform Rick of my whereabouts.

“Yes, she did! It took some convincing, but here she is! She’s definitely a tough cookie to crack, good luck to you in the future!” Isla piped up from behind me as she pointedly stared at Mason, making it obvious that the last message was aimed directly towards him. Turning to face her, I stared at her with wide eyes as she deliberately ignored my pointed stare and continued to smile as if she hadn’t said anything ludicrous. The sound of Mason’s chuckle instantly caused my cheeks to flame in embarrassment as I avoided his gaze.

There was no way Mason and I would ever be together.

It was simply impossible.

“Well, I’m glad that one of us was able to convince her.” Mason jokingly teased as I finally looked over at him. He flashed me a playful wink as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and ran it through his hair. It was slightly chilly tonight and I could barely feel my hands, but as I gazed around the carnival, a small part of me was thankful that I was here.

A couple months ago, I could barely envision myself stepping out of the house for longer than twenty minutes, yet here I was. Life wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was better than what it was before.

“So, where to first?” Isla asked as she clapped her hands. We all simultaneously turned to face Fletcher who was still gazing all around the carnival, oblivious to all of us who were staring at him. He resembled a child in a candy store as he excitedly pointed out every ride and game that interested him. Locking eyes with Mason who had already been looking in my direction, we both slightly smiled to one another at Fletcher’s behavior. He playfully shook his head at Fletcher’s antics and made a motion as if to say Fletcher was nuts, as I attempted to hold back a giggle.

Turning back to the others, I watched in amusement as Isla poked Fletcher’s shoulder, snapping him out of the trance he was in. Turning over to us with a frazzled look, Fletcher fixed his glasses which had fallen down his nose, before sheepishly saying, “Can we go play the water gun game?” We all let out a laugh before nodding and heading towards the game booth which stood near the entrance.

There was a small voice in my head that told me not to get too comfortable with nights like these, but for once in my life, I wanted to forget all the worries that clouded my mind. I constantly walked around with Rick’s burden in the back of my mind, and although I was risking it, I decided to allow myself one night to have a good time. I knew I couldn’t completely forget about my responsibilities and Rick, so I promised myself just these few hours before heading back to the dorms.

Like Fletcher, I too was in awe of the games, rides, and loud music that littered the carnival as we walked towards the game booth. It provided me with a small glimpse into my childhood which I could slowly feel fading away. As we passed the Ferris wheel, the largest attraction at the carnival, I could feel the suppressed memories return as I remembered the excitement I had felt years ago when I was at the fair with my brother and mother.

Those memories felt like they came from a lifetime ago.

An era where the world didn’t seem like an empty abyss.

From my peripheral, I could see Mason watching me closely as I attempted to mask the solemn expression that had taken refuge on my face. As far as everyone knew, I had come from a good home, and I needed to ensure that I didn’t accidentally let anyone believe anything other than that.

As we approached the crowded booth, we slowed to a stop at the end of the line where many excitedly awaited their turn. I stood there quietly and observed those playing before us so that I could get a brief idea of how the game would go. It wasn’t long before Fletcher handed over tickets on our behalf, and we found ourselves taking seats on the stools. Falling into the seat beside me, Mason held a hand out to me with a smirk lining his face,“May the best man win.”

I let out a small laugh as I set my hand in his before responding, “It’s on.”

Dropping our hands, we both turned to place our hands on the toy guns as we waited for the game to begin. Isla and Fletcher appeared to be in game mode as they both ignored everyone’s presence and focused on the balloon in front of them. As soon as the green light flashed for the game to begin, I immediately pressed down on the button as I positioned my water to spray straight into the hole connected to the balloon.

“You’re going to lose!” I heard Mason exclaim from beside me as I continued to point my gun towards the balloon. Letting out a laugh at his remarks, I briefly locked eyes with him and stuck my tongue out playfully, before turning back to the game. A competitive spirit I never knew I had suddenly came out as I felt this overwhelming urge to win the game. A couple seconds passed before a loud ding signified the end of the game as we all released our guns and looked over to where Fletcher’s area flashed brightly. I could hear him cheer loudly as we all slid out of our seats and made our way to the side to redeem Fletcher’s prize. Despite not winning the game, I could not stop myself from smiling as Fletcher picked out a large stuffed goldfish.

For the first time in years, I felt genuine joy.

My heart raced in anticipation for what was next as my eyes latched onto the Ferris wheel. Though the line seemed to stretch for ages, I would still be willing to wait if it meant I’d eventually get to experience what a Ferris wheel would be like again. Some part of me hoped that it would ignite more memories of my childhood that seemed to fade more and more as the days progressed. As I continued to stare ahead at the bright lights attached to the Ferris wheel, I felt Mason’s breath graze my ears as he lowly asked, “Why are you staring so intensely at the Ferris wheel?” He questioned from behind me, humor lacing his words.

I could feel the embarrassment creeping up my spine as I slightly turned my head to face him. I hadn’t realized I had been gawking at the Ferris wheel, and there was no way I could tell Mason the truth about what I had been thinking, so with a sheepish smile on my face I said, “I just zoned out.”

Nodding in response, Mason flashed me a small smile before turning towards Isla and Fletcher who were arguing about where to go next. I released a sigh of relief at the fact that Mason hadn’t questioned me any further. I absolutely hated lying to everyone around me. Not only did it make me feel like I was deceiving everyone, but every lie I spewed could serve as my demise if I failed to keep track of what I said.

“Mason and Isabella! You decide what to do next because Fletcher keeps suggesting the boring stuff!” Isla complained, as she crossed her arms across her chest and glared at Fletcher who matched her expression.

Glancing over at Mason, we both exchange discreet smiles as we contained our laughs before Mason piped up, “I think the Ferris wheel can be a common ground for us all.” He suggested before throwing a wink towards me. My heart jumped in my chest as I realized he had suggested it because he had seen me staring at it earlier. I could feel my heart warm as I relished the feeling of someone actually caring about what I wanted.

Sending Mason a thankful smile, I made a mental reminder to myself to thank him later as we all headed over to the ferris wheel line which had shortened significantly since I had last seen it.

Placing any belongings we had into the cubbies up front, we quickly climbed into the cart, Isla sliding into the seat beside me. She still wore an irritated frown on her face as she shot glares in Fletcher’s direction every other second, but quickly changed her mood as the cart began moving towards to top. I could the excitement building in my chest as we slowly reached the top of the Ferris wheel. The city light illuminated in the distant as the chatter from the fair slowly faded. I could feel the wind blowing through my hair as I stared down at the city in awe.

There was something about the world from afar that made it appear so beautiful and vast. As if you could get lost in there forever and live life according to your own principles.

As I turned to gauge the other’s reactions, my eyes latched onto Mason who wore a similar expression to mine as he looked over at the view from where he was seated. The lines that usually littered his forehead were gone as he appeared to be deep in thought. As if he could sense my eyes on him, Mason turned to face me. It felt like time slowed to a stop as I kept my eyes latched onto his. I didn’t know what exactly it was that I felt about Mason in that moment, but I knew that I didn’t want this night to end.

As our cart began to descend back to the ground, the giddy feeling in my chest still remained as I realized one thing.

The Ferris wheel may have not invoked any old memories, but experiencing the ride once again did something else for me.

It had allowed me to create new memories.


This is probably very surprising to you all seeing as I update every couple months (still sorry about that)

Since releasing the last update and seeing all the love I received on Wattpad and Inkitt, it inspired me to write another chapter to express my gratitude for all my awesome readers, even the silent ones!

I appreciate each and every one of you!

I hope you all enjoyed this update, and I hope to see you all again very soon!

Much love!

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