The Loudest Silence

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My throat felt like it was constricting. I couldn’t breathe, think, or feel anything in that moment aside from anger. All the anger I had shoved to the back of my mind for the last decade all swarmed me like a tsunami. The tears that had once occupied my eyes, had dried, and I only had one thing on my mind.

I was done.

I was done with everything. The drug deals, the abuse, the control.

I was done.

I had allowed Rick to dictate my life for too long. He had pushed me around, instilled fear within me to a point where I had lost myself. I had an opportunity to escape. I had someone who was willing to help me. And I was going to take that opportunity. I had wanted nothing more than to take Mason’s hand tonight, and tell him everything.

I was ready to let him into my life, and allow him to help me, but I knew I couldn’t.

Not until I spoke to Roman first.

Rushing into my dorm building, I took the stairway up to my room. I nearly tripped over the stairs with the pace that I was going at, but I didn’t care. Isla had gone home for the weekend to visit her sister a few hours away, meaning I had the room all to myself. Swinging open the door, my eyes immediately connected a dark pair as I shut the door behind me. Roman sat on Isla’s desk chair, with a pencil in his hands. He swirled the pencil back and forth in his hands as his eyes followed my movements. Stepping farther into the room, I set down my coat before walking towards him, until there was only a couple feet of distance between us.

“I’m done. With everything. Rick has taken everything away from me, and for once in my life, I have something that I won’t let him steal from me. I have been his puppet far too long, and I won’t lose any more time to him.” I gasped out in one breath as Roman stared up at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I watched as he leaned back in his seat, and set the pencil back onto the desk. He had called and texted me earlier during my conversation with Mason, saying that he needed to speak to me about something urgent. While I was grateful for his interruption, as it let me escape from Mason for the time being, I knew that whatever news he was bearing wasn’t good.

It never was.

“You think you’re the first person who’s ever had the idea to escape?” Roman asked in a low tone as I stared back at him silently. My silence was enough of a response for him as he let out a scoff before leaning forward in the chair.

“You’re not. Because nobody has ever been able to. Not without life changing repercussions.” He said to me as I began shaking my head. I couldn’t take no for an answer. I just couldn’t. I was at my breaking point, I couldn’t lie to Mason any longer than I already have.

Our relationship had progressed deeper than I had ever imagined, and I didn’t want to lose him. For the first time in my life, I was happy.

“I can’t do this anymore, Roman. I’ve lost so much already, I can’t lose more. There’s so much more the world can offer us than this lifestyle. Don’t you want that? ” I pleaded with him, my voice breaking. I could feel an influx of tears coming in, but I forced them back as I watched Roman’s reaction.

“The thought crosses my mind every single day.” Roman answered, as he kept his eyes firm on the floor. “But that’s all it’s ever been. A thought.” I couldn’t help the sigh of disapproval that escaped my lips as I stepped closer to him.

I refused to take no as an answer.

“We can do it, Roman. We’ll find a way. I have someone who’s willing to help us and-” Before I could finish my sentence, Roman’s head shot up, as he looked at me with accusatory eyes.

“He knows?” He asked, with an edge to his voice that I’d never heard before.

“Not yet, but he’s catching on. He knows that something is wrong.” I said to him, purposely leaving out the details of how Mason had seen my bruises, and was adamant that there was someone in my life who had been hurting me.

I watched as Roman dropped his head, before letting out a string of curses. I remained silent as he stood up and began to pace the room.

“Isabella, if word gets back to Rick, we’re going to be dead before we can even devise a plan to escape.” He worriedly said as he stopped in the middle of the room. Despite his attempts at masking it, I could see the fear in Roman’s eyes.

He was right, if Rick even got as much as a whiff of Mason’s inquiries, we’d both have an even bigger problem on our hands.

Attempting some damage control, I spoke up, “I haven’t told him anything yet. I wanted to come to you before doing anything, because if there was anyone I could pull this off with, it’d be you.” I said to him, hoping that it’d put his mind at ease.

Silence laid heavy in the room for a few moments, before Roman finally spoke up, “Why are you so adamant about me doing this with you? Why not by yourself?” He asked. I could see the guarded expression on his face, and I wondered if he was suspicious about my intentions.

Taking a seat on the chair he had been occupied before, I hoped he could see the sincerity on my face when I answered, “Because I can see you. The type of person you are, the heart you have. You’re not defined by your past, Roman. None of us are.” I said as I took a deep breath, the tears I had worked so hard to push away were brimming my eyes as I continued.

“You deserve a life better than the one you’ve been given.” I finished as swiped a hand over my eyes. Roman stood there quietly, and I could tell that his mind was pacing. He was uncertain about this, but I understood why. This had been his lifestyle for as long as he could remember. Roman didn’t open up much to me, but I knew that he didn’t willingly choose this life. His uncle played a large role in his upbringing, and I knew that Roman and I were more similar than we knew.

Except, he preferred to avoid talking about it.

“You’re sure that we can trust this guy?” Roman asked me after a long pause.

Mason had edged his way into my life, and slowly into my heart. I trusted him more than I had ever trusted anyone in my life.

Giving Roman a nod, I watched as he rubbed a hand behind his neck before dropping it back down to his side.

“Let’s do this.”

Another update, who am I?

Again, thank you all for reading.

I appreciate the support more than you know!

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