Wait For Me
I cried. I cried harder than I had ever cried before in that taxi on my back to the hotel. I just got all of my stuff and came back to that same taxi and cried some more. It hard to do this but…I knew it was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to rush into a relationship with Paris because I wanted ‘this’, whatever was going on between us, to last.
The letters. The letters that mom had never told any of us about. The letters that my ‘father’ would send to her. Sometimes checks, sometimes apologies but she never took either. She told me about the letters before I want off to college and I had planned on visiting my bastard father one day. I just had no idea that when I visited him, I would be in so many shambles.
The girl who had stolen my heart years ago had shown up in my life again and I didn’t know how to deal with it; so I ran. The girl I loved so much right now but didn’t know how to show or receive her love back was with me but I was scared of getting hurt again; so I ran.
I was becoming like him! Damn him and what he did to me! His coward genes had become a trait of mine and I didn’t want them. I didn’t want anything that had to deal with him. People always told me that I looked just like my father and I hated it.
I just needed to speak with him. I needed some type of closure. I needed to figure out why it was that everytime something good showed up in my life, I either got afraid of it and ran or I watched it walk away from me.
Ashley. God knows I loved Ashley but I stood by and didn’t even fight for our love. She sent me letters. I didn’t reply. She emailed me. I didn’t send a email back. She called me. I didn’t call her back. I just let her go because of how hurt I was and why did I do it? Why didn’t I fight for her at that time? I have no idea.
Paris. Paris is…a different story. She’s the exact opposite of me. She’s everything that I could never be and she’s so…beautiful. So amazing. So out of my league that I’m surprised that she even wants me, but she does. She does want me and I want her more than anything…I think I love her. I know I love her…and that’s why I ran. Because I’m scared. Because my love for her is too strong. It’s stronger than anything I ever felt for Ashley.
If Ashley’s love could turn me into a different person then damn it, Paris’s love could kill me. The only way I would ever be able to look at her and truly open my heart to Paris. To get it my all and hope that she loves me back just as much…would be to figure out what it is that I’m so afraid of.
“So, she just left?” Antoinette yelled in astonishment. “That’s what Liz told me,” Antony said, crossing his arms. “Where’d she go?” Alex asked, sitting on the couch and watching his brother and mother interact.
“Paris says that she doesn’t know. Damn it. I can’t believe this! You know, I blame myself. I can’t telling Andie to stay away from her and maybe she took what I said to literally,” Antony groaned in anger.
“Trust me. Andie wouldn’t have run out like that because of you Antony. She would have told me. Plus, Liz said that…Ashley was there” Davey said, holding on tighter to Katie’s hand.
“Oh Lord. Ashley? What was she doing there? Of course. Seeing Ashley again could have opened up old wounds. Has anybody talked to Paris?” Antoinette said, looking around the room.
“I tried but she locked herself up in their room. She only comes out to eat and take a shower. She’s a complete mess,” Katie said sadly. “Then Andie can’t be any better. Where could she have gone?” Alex asked, looking over at Davey.
He shrugged. “Don’t know. Maybe she went to your cousin Phil’s house. You know she likes the lakes down there,” he said. Alex shook his head. “I doubt Andie left Paris just to go enjoy the lakes of Wisconsin. What was it that Paris said she left for again?” he asked, getting up off the couch and joining everyone in the living room.
“According to Liz, Paris said that Andie told her they were going to fast. That she was afraid of being hurt again. Then she told Paris not to follow her and took off in a taxi” Katie replied.
“Her phones off too. Mom tried to call her a good 20 times. Either she’s not answering, or she doesn’t want to be found” Antony said. They all got quiet and looked around the room at each other.
“This is what we’re going to do. Since Andie doesn’t want to be found or talked to at the moment…we’re going to leave her be” Antoinette said softly. Everyone started to protest but she held up her hand and they stayed quiet.
“We need to worry about Paris right now. I’m sure she’s confused too as to why Andie ran off. Katie, maybe you and Davey could stay with her right now. Davey, do not call or try to reach Andie at all. Do you hear me?”
Davey nodded and held Katie closer to him. “Antony, I want you to stay out of it as well. If Andie calls any of us, then we can get involved but as of right now, everyone stay out of it. Tomorrow, Liz and I will go have a talk with Paris.” She directed.
Everybody sighed they’re approval and she sighed. “I just hope Andie knows what she’s doing” Antoinette whispered. They all nodded and did as they were told.
4325 Lincoln Street
New York City, NY
I looked up at the small house that my father lived in and swallowed nervously. I hadn’t seen him since I was four. Would he even recognize me? What if he had another family and I was just barging in on his life? No. Fuck him. Fuck him and his life. I’m his daughter and whether he wanted to or not, we we’re gonna have a talk.
I slowly knocked on the door and shifted from foot to foot in anticipation. I wonder what he looks like now. I’ve seen pictures but nothing would compare to the real thing. Would I really look like him? Or would he look like an older version of Tony?
The door opened and a brown skin man with blackish gray hair stood in front of me. He had on a blue button up and black dress pants. His glasses were hanging around his neck and he had on brown sandals. His green eyes matched my own and he was shorter than me.
“A-A-Andie?” he said, his voice gruff and weak. Life hadn’t been good to him and if this was three or four years ago, I would have laughed in his face. But deep down, the mere thought of knowing this man was my father, made me stop in my tracks.
“Hey dad” I said, a small smile grazing my lips. He looked me up and down and moved out the way. I walked inside his home and looked around. It wasn’t fancy, but it wasn’t horrible either. His house just looked pretty plain to me.
“I haven’t seen you in eighteen years. What brings you to my happy home?” he asked, sitting down on his couch. I sat down across from him and looked at him. “For eighteen years I’ve wondered what I would say if I ever say you again. I thought I would yell at you. Curse your name for leaving my mother alone and for leaving us. I thought I would tell you about all of the good you did running out on us and how well we survived without you…but that’s not the cause now. Right now, I just have one question. Why? Why did you run away? What could have possessed you to run out on your pregnant wife and two children?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly.
He looked down at the floor and ran his left hand over his face. “I never meant to hurt your mother. Do believe me when I say that I love her and I love you, Antony, and Alex. I just…I just thought that I would ruin things for you all."
“Time were hard and I could barely find a job. You’re grandfather kept telling your mother how ‘useless’ I was but she defended me. She trusted in me and knew I could get us back in shape and somehow, we would make it out. Money was tight but…your mother wanted a big family and I wasn’t one to refuse her. I made so many loans and I owed so many people. I just didn’t want her to be ashamed of me."
“What man can’t support his family? I couldn’t even put food on the table for you and Antony? Your mother took a second job and…and then things started going way out of proportion. I owed this man named Robert Goul money. He kept making all kinds of threats but…I just didn’t have the money for him. That’s when he started threatening your mother and you and Antony and the baby. I just couldn’t handle!”
“I was so afraid that I would wake up one day and you all would be gone and I would be left alone. So, I ran. I worked over time shifts at job after job. Changing my name so that Robert couldn’t track me. But he found me. He found me and his buddies did a good job roughing me up. I woke up in a hospital bed and was cared for by a doctor named Parker Beaunet."
“His wife was so big shot fashion designer and he had divorced her a long time ago. We talked for hours on end. About our lives and our families. He told me about his daughter, Paris, and I told him about you all and the drama that I went through. He kept telling me that I should go back to your mother and explain things to her, but I was too afraid!”
“A couple of months later, Parker dies in a car accident and his little girl goes to live with her mother. When Parker died, I just couldn’t deal with anything anymore. I had lost a faithful friend and I by then, years had gone by. I knew your mother wanted nothing to do with me. If I could take it all back Andrea…I would. I would take it all back in a second."
I watched as my father sobbed and I wiped away the tears that were on my face as well.
“Dad, I’m in love with Parker Beaunet’s daughter. What are the odds that your faithful friend’s daughter and I would met are beyond me, but we did. And I’m in love with her. In some way, I think she brought me back to you. I would have never visited you if it hadn’t have been because of her. But…I was hurt once before. I loved this girl so much but I couldn’t will myself to go after her and now…things between Paris and I are just moving way to fast. Dad please, just tell me what I have to do”
My father looked at me and walked over to sit next to me. He put his hand on my back and gently rubbed it. “If you truly believe that there could be a future between you and Paris, then you should take things slow. Don’t rush into something when you’re not ready for it…like I did. I wasn’t ready for children with your mother, but I never regretted having any of you. I just wish we would have wanted until we were ready,” he said softly.
I nodded and looked in the kitchen at his phone that was hanging on the wall. “Dad, do you mind if I take a phone call?” I asked. He nodded and I got up and walked over to the phone. I had to explain things to someone who I knew would hear me out.
“C’mere Paris. Just lay down, you’ll be fine. Besides, I’m sure you’re a lot better off without that ‘girl’ hanging around you."
Paris stared at her mother and shook her head. She came her for comfort, not for a reality check. Of course, she never thought she would be back in her mother’s home, beginning for the love that she never received from her, but her she was. Back in a home that she didn’t belong in.
“She’s not just some girl, mother. I love her,” Paris said in her defense. Her mother scoffed and poured herself another glass of Scotch. “Paris dear heart, you don’t know what love is. I once loved your disgraceful father but that was many years ago” her mother chuckled.
Paris almost screamed at her mother for her blatant disrespect of her father but she bit her tongue. “Even when you ran off, I still loved you. But sweetie, being a lesbian won’t get you my acceptance. It will only get you shown to the door,” her mother said darkly.
Paris glared at her. “You will always be like this. A vile, disrespectful excuse for a woman. I’ve always wanted your approval. To know that you love me and to hope that one day you wouldn’t be the bitch that you are now. But you will always be this…this…fake persona of something that you wish you were. When will you get off your high horse and realize that you are no more important than anybody else. My father made you who you are and even now you rag on him at any God given moment! He got you into the fashion industry and you act as if you made it on your own!”
“I don’t know why I even came to you! You’re not my mother and you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t want to be. I don’t need someone like you in my life. Someone so up their own ass and so pathetic. I’ve never been more prideful to call myself a Beaunet right now but not because of you, because of my disgraceful father that you once loved!”
With that, Paris stomped out of her mother’s house, slamming the door as she went. She didn’t even hear the glass break as it slipped out of her mother’s hands or her gasp as she watched her only child, her flesh in blood, her daughter as she walked out the door.
“Davey? Sorry to wake you up buddy.”
“Andie? Andie, where the hell are you? Paris is in complete shambles right now and you’re off doing God knows what! Do you know what time it is here? I’m sleeping!”
“Davey, I’m sorry okay? I just need to spend some time to myself. I’m here in New York with my father.”
“Your father? Andie why would you ever…”
“It’s not what you think Davey. I know, I hated him too but…I never got the chance to hear his side of the story. He loved us Davey. Even now he still does.”
“That’s great and everything, but what about Paris, Andie? What are you gonna tell her, huh? ‘I needed to reconnect with my father and I’m so sorry for hurting you.’”
“…I love her.”
“I’m in love with her, Davey.”
“Then why the hell are you in New York? Get your ass back here.”
“I need to clear my head. I needed to get closure from my dad and…I think things with Paris and I are moving too fast. I mean, it’s only been a month and 2 weeks Davey and I already can’t get her out of my mind. I just love her so much.”
“And I’m sure she loves you too Andie. You can’t be afraid of giving your heart to her.”
“But what if I do to her what I did to Ashley? What if we get in too deep and she leaves? What if I just give up on her and let her walk away?”
“Andie…we both know Paris would never leave you. She loves you way too much. I think, and call me corny all you want, but it was destiny for me to pick up that Platinum Magazine. It was destiny for me to get free tickets to their runway show. It was destiny for you and her to meet and everything else that happened in between.”
“Her father was my dad’s doctor.”
“…Once again; destiny. If this isn’t fate, than I don’t know what it is. But things like this don’t come around twice, Andie. How long are you gonna be gone?”
“Geez, your mom is going to kill you.”
“Ha. Yeah I know. I’m just gonna spend some time with my dad and I’ll be back in November, before Thanksgiving. That way, mom can’t kill me.”
“Oh trust me buddy. She’ll crave into you deeper than the turkey.”
“Ha. Whatever. Good night Davey.”
“Oh! And Davey?”
“…Tell Paris to wait for me.”
“…I will. Good night, Andie.”
“Paris, please open the door. We need to talk to you” Liz pleaded from the other side of Paris’s room. She slowly opened the door and looked at Liz and Antoinette’s sad faces.
“How long?” she asked bluntly. “Davey talked to her last night. She said a month” Liz replied. Paris burst out into tears and Liz pulled her into a hug. “Paris, Andie loves you. She wouldn’t hurt you this way if she didn’t. But Paris, do you love her?” Antoinette asked, pulling her gently over to the bed.
“Of course I do! Every night I sleep with her pillow crushed against me. I can’t sleep with the smell of her scent. I wake up every morning, hoping she’ll come walking through the door and pull me into her arms and kiss me…but I just wake up to Davey walking in to say hello”.
“I’ve never felt this way before and…it hurts. It hurts so bad Antoinette” Paris sobbed. Liz looked over at Antoinette and she nodded at her. “Apparently, the public is as upset as you are. There are articles about you and Andie everywhere. I’ve talked to Cruise and we’ve decided…it would be a good idea to take you out of the public eye for awhile” Liz said gently.
Paris nodded. “I don’t care. I don’t care about the fame anymore. Just like Andie didn’t care about the money. Things have changed”, she said sniffling. “Paris, Andie will be back in time for Thanksgiving. Would you like to stay with me until then?” Antoinette asked. Paris nodded and Liz sat beside her.
“I understand that you went to see Margret. How was she?” she asked. Paris growled. “She didn’t care, as usual. But you know what, I don’t care about her. Liz, I consider you to be my mother more than I ever would consider her to be. You took me in when I needed it most and I will always thank you for that” she replied.
Liz smiled and kissed Paris’s head. “No need to thank me, love. I would do it all again” she said gently. They stayed and talked with Paris for the rest of the night. All three of them hoping that Andie would soon return home.