I must have lost someone
Who didn’t love me,
But you lost someone
Who truly loved you.
Scott and I were dancing in a way a lot different than me and Dylan. My hips swaying to the rhythm as his hands on my hips guided our movements. I could see the twinkle in his eyes. Soon enough he started to lean forward and I was standing there not moving at all, not sure what I should do. Within seconds he was mere inches away from me.
Suddenly he was pulled away from me. I looked at the scene unfolding in front of me. The person who pulled Scott away had his back facing me as he beat Scott unconscious. Within seconds he was lying there unmoving but the person never stopped hitting him.
“Stop! You are hurting him.” I cried out, and hearing my pleading, he let go of Scott and faced me. The whole crowd of students looked at the scene in front of them and Wren and Amber came rushing by my side.
Why is it that whatever party I attend, something bad happens?
I took my time to look at the person who was beating Scott and a loud gasp escaped my mouth. Loud enough for everyone to notice. As if they weren’t already staring at me.
They were the familiar gray eyes and long locks of brown hair falling in front of his face. His body tensed, just like the first time I saw him 3 years ago. The tall structure of muscles, that did not change a bit. The same anger reflected through his eyes.
I could hardly feel the tears falling down my face, but they were not because of a person lying unconscious, but because of the person standing in front of me.
His eyes softened at the sight of me crying, just like they used to.
“Ava.” He whispered softly in a now silent room. Happiness and sadness reflecting through his voice.
“I have to go,” I said to no one in particular and turned away from him making my way out.
Amber and Wren followed me out. We got in Wren’s car and she drove away. I could feel the questioning looks on their faces filled with concern.
“Can you drop me home?” I asked not looking at them, my gaze fixed outside the window.
“Sure.” Wren whispered.
In another 15 minutes, we pulled in front of my house.
“I will drop your car later.” Wren said.
I didn’t say anything but just nodded my head once, not trusting my words and walked inside my house. It was around 11 and my mom must be sleeping, so I didn’t bother her and turned to go to my room.
The thought of seeing him after that incident never crossed my mind.
They say that the first love hurts the most. True it does hurt the most and to see them after such a long time feels like it is happening all over again.
I used to be so in love with that person that it tore me to shreds and then he broke my heart. I thought that seeing him after all these years, I won’t feel anything towards him, no anger, no love, no betrayal. Nothing.
But I knew I was lying to myself. I just can’t help falling in love with him all over again and I always knew that there is a part of me which will always be his.
A part which will always belong to Adrian.
I didn’t sleep that night. I couldn’t make myself to go to sleep, not after what just happened.
Sunday went by in a blur. I tried my best to show that nothing happened, maybe my mom bought it but Blake never did. He kept bugging me till I burst out crying and told him everything. I cried again, but this time it felt like a burden was taken off my chest and I don’t know how, but I did sleep.
Now it’s Monday and I am adamant that I am skipping school. Mom allowed it saying that I study hard enough to make myself sick, and Blake knew the reason so he didn’t ask any questions. Which not to mention, I was glad about.
My phone started ringing and I was scared to answer, thinking it would be Adrian again, but I don’t know why I shakily reached for my phone and released the breath that I don’t even know I was holding.
It was Edward, so I cleared my throat and answered the call.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hey. Are you alright? You are not here in the school and when I asked Amber, she said you left for home after a party and Blake is not saying anything. I was just worried.” He said with every bit of concern in his voice.
“Yeah, I’m alright. It’s just that I’m not feeling well today. Nothing major, just a headache. I should probably cut back on my screen time,” I laughed lightly hoping my voice didn’t betray me.
“So are you coming to my house or...” He asked dragging the ‘or’ as if to ask me otherwise.
I was confused as to why would I go to his place.
“Why would I come to your place?” I asked, voicing my thoughts.
“For the psychology project. Remember? The lady whose husband died due to cancer. We were planning to go to her house on Monday, that is, today so we can finish off the project early.” He said, and then it hit me like a wrecking ball. Fast and hard.
I was contemplating whether to go or not, but thinking about it, why should I let someone, who doesn’t even care about me to destroy my grades that are supposed to be my and only my achievement.
“Hello? You there.” Edward asked, and I snapped out of my thinking world. ” You don’t have to come though, if you’re not well, we ca-”
“No, I’ll be fine.” I said cutting him in between his words. “I will come by 3, if that’s ok?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure but you don’t have to-” He started again and again I cut him off.
“It’s alright. I can make it.” I assured him. A ghost from my past will not bring me down.
“Ok, see you then.” He said.
“Yeah, see you after school then. Bye.” I replied softly.
“Bye.” He said and we both hung up. I got up and started getting ready and to wash the awful smell coming from me because of the lack of shower.
This is where I draw a line Adrian, this is where I chose me over all the heartbreaks, and all the wallowing. This is where I choose to move on for my sake.
But god knows that those are just words and I still like to hold on to the hope that they’re more, that they’re a promise. A promise I’m willing to break.