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Chapter 35

Confidence is not, “they’ll like me.”
Confidence is, “I’ll be fine if they don’t.”


Lunch is over, but there is still no word from Edward. When I called him, it went to voicemail. Adam and Ryder arrived a little after 5th period.

I have been restless ever since my little moment with Adrian took place. That one moment, that one goddamned moment made me realize what I have been missing out all this time. What I want is right in front of me but I was too self-absorbed to see all the good things that were in front of me.

By the end of the day, I was worried, not restless, worried. I made my way out of the school with Blake, because he was my only ride left as Edward, my initial mode of reaching home disappeared into thin air. I low key wondered if he could do this.

Approaching Chris’s car, we saw him leaning on his Volvo. He agreed to give me a lift back home, um, their place.

After about 20 minutes later Chris pulled into their driveway. Feeling my nerves, Chris told Blake to head inside and we waited in his car till Blake walked through the door.

Turning his head, he looked straight into my eyes, “What is it?” He asked sternly.

“I don’t know...” I trailed with a sigh and continued, “he hasn’t answered any of my 20 calls or the 7 voicemails I left him about an hour and a half ago. I think, scratch that, I know that what I said is affecting him but....” I don’t know what to say.

“Do whatever you want, but don’t forget to take a shower before going near him. He’ll be in the basement if you wanna meet him.” With that he walked out of the car without giving me a second glance and entering through the door.

He is here. He is inside these walls. I can talk to him. I can tell him how I feel. I don’t know about love, but I do like him in a more than friendly way. Like in a romantic way. At least I know how I feel right now, but I’m not sure if I should confess it to him.

Sure, he said that stuff about us being mates, but I can’t be sure about it since I don’t feel the way I felt with Adrian in the start, although Edward has broader muscles than Adrian, which attract me towards him like a metal piece drawn towards a magnet, and his eyes look more beautiful than the gray orbs I used to stare at and chocolate brown might have become my new favorite color. And now I’m comparing both of them and the situation could not get any worse or good. I don’t know, maybe good.

He is in the basement. That’s what Chris said. Quickly exiting the car, I went to my room and threw my bag on the bed, checking my appearance once and heading towards the house, not exactly knowing where the basement would be.

One of the Omegas saw me and directed me towards the basement with a smile and I mirrored her smile and ran towards the direction of the basement.

Walking down a few flights of stairs I entered a room with a rather cold environment, covered with gray walls, and many gym instruments. The room was quite big, a large rectangle in the middle of the room, where I am guessing the battles, friendly ones, between the pack members occur. A few punching bags hanging in one corner of the room, in a line. And basically, the room where all the Dauntless members trained, if one has seen Divergent, but who hasn’t? It’s a blessing, and right now I was searching for my Four, yes, my four, and I found him in the other corner doing crunches, his back facing me.

He stopped without facing me and his voice broke my trance, “I thought you needed space.” He spat the word. I chose to be the mature one, and even if I won’t admit, I had to because it was my fault.

“I did. And I think I have figured myself out.” I said, calmly, my voice not showing any sign of nervousness I was feeling. I practically patted myself on the back when the words left my mouth.

“Really? I doubt that.” Okay, he is mad. A blind could tell. Finally, he faced me and gosh, he was shirtless!

Okay hormones, stay in control. But I haven’t seen him shirtless and damn I am not disappointed. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have a little drool hanging off the corner of my mouth.

He is a god. Wait he has a tattoo! Is that supposed to turn me on the way it is. He is a sight for sore eyes, and I think that all my sanity I was holding on just slipped out of my hands and I didn’t even try to hold it.

Much to my dismay, he grabbed a shirt from the nearby bench and pulled it down his well sculpted body. I almost let out a sound of displeasure leave my throat. Almost.

“Take it off.” I mumbled unknowingly under my breath and quickly covered my mouth with my hands, he did hear it, didn’t he? Oh, of course he did. I am so stupid.

I looked up at his face which had a huge smirk on his face which soon turned into a frown, causing me to mirror his frown.

What happened so suddenly that changed his mood like that? Is it something with the pack?

His nostrils flared in anger and his eyes started to turn gold in color, which means his wolf was on the edge. He came near me with long strides and held my upper arms tightly causing me to wince.

His face came near my cheek and he sniffed. Yes, he sniffed my cheek. And then what Chris said, hit me.

Take a shower before coming near him.

But why? Why is this not making sense?

“You smell of a wolf.” He growled. Like, literally growled.

“Yeah, I came here with Chris. I had no ride.” I said, confused.

“No. It’s no one from my pack.” He sniffed me again. I could actually feel his anger, it was so obvious like water flowing down his body, except this made him furious instead of calming him.

“You were with him.” He stated. I stared at him confused. “You let him touch you. He touched you didn’t he. He was close to you. He...” He trailed, taking in deep breaths. “He kissed you, didn’t he?” He said, and then it hit me so hard I stepped back letting his hold on me falter.

He was talking about Adrian. Shit! I kissed him. That’s why Chris told me to shower! Oh no!

“I can explain.” I tried to reason but he backed away and punched the wall beside him so hard, it cracked. Like completely cracked with a depression forming where his knuckles hit.

“Leave! Now!” He shouted. I knew it was the right thing to do, but my body didn’t comply and I moved closer to him. “Ava. I. Said. Leave!” He shouted again, and I knew better than to test his patience right now. But the stubborn person I am, I went closer to him and wrapped my hand on his shoulder.

“No.” I said, sternly.

Oh boy. What did I do?

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