The first time you fall in love,
It changes you forever and
No matter how hard you try,
That feeling just never goes away.
Time seems to have been flown away, I had the best and worst experience here and I like to say that we might’ve made progress in our relationship which has been amazing so far.
Edward and I have been going to school together and he’s been bearable in all my classes. In a long time, I feel like I belong. After Adrian left me, I lost all hope to ever find The One for me and I’m not sure yet if I have found him or not but I’m happy to say that this might be Endgame for me. Maybe he is the one for me, but a heartbreak does a lot of things to you and one of them is never to trust someone easily. But things have gone smoothly so far.
The morning I woke up in his embrace felt right, and it was the best sleep I have had in a long time. Since I moved away from home, I wasn’t able to sleep properly but that morning I woke up and realized I was well slept and less irritated than usual.
Blake too happens to be enjoying his stay, well he does get to sleep in the room next to Chris’s or maybe sometimes in it but I can’t be sure. He sure was bubbly a few times when we met in the morning and I think he wasn’t so cheery to go home, but neither was I. I don’t know what home was now. It felt like home here.
Mom called a few times these two weeks and we talked but it was only for a few minutes. From what I heard she wasn’t anxious at all. Maybe my so-called father hasn’t shown up at her door yet which I am glad for. Or he doesn’t know she is there which is even better.
Edward’s mom has been an angel all along but why won’t she. As per her I’m the one who will be taking over her “throne”. And I think I’m kinda okay with it. Not completely but kinda.
I’ve got to know a lot of pack members and that the pack is big enough that they need two houses to store everyone. They all have been friendly and I’m starting to like it more here.
For today as a last day, I decided to explore around here and Adam is helping me while I help him set up the whole plan which is supposed to be implemented on Friday or we can say within next 3 days.
“So, I arranged this place. It’s near a cliffside. Do you think she’ll like it?” Adam asked going through the arrangements we made.
“Yeah, she’ll love it. Wren has always been the one after the thrills,” I said a bit distracted while examining the pictures on the walls of one of the long hallways I never came across.
The pictures were both formal and informal. There was one with the whole pack laughing together while trying to accommodate in the small frame and a few with Edward and his parents standing behind him while he sat in a throne like chair. This one must have been fresh because he looked the same now as in the picture except the hair, which are a bit short in the picture. I smiled looking at all those pictures.
They all seemed so happy. I have yet to meet his father formally and I am counting on meeting him when he comes back from New York.
For the next half an hour we discuss about ‘The Date’ and Adam occasionally explains some of the stories behind the photos, but something makes me stop dead in my track, or more like someone.
It was the photo of a kid around 5 or 6 years old with the most amazing chocolate brown eyes and the most innocent smile, showing all his white teeth.
“Who is this?” I questioned Adam. It can’t be, can it?
“Who?” He asks, and replies immediately when he sees whom I am looking at. “Oh, that’s Edward. He was around 6 in this and he just came back from park. That was when we noticed he has been going to the park a lot and always comes back with a smile. That particular day he came back with a strand of red hair and wouldn’t let it go,” Adam laughed as he remembered, “along the period of time he lost it, and he was devastated. He didn’t come out of his room for a week, saying how he lost someone special to him. The name is kinda hazy right now because this happened ages ago, but the incident is prominent enough to remember because he had one of the worst days of his life.”
I was kind of shocked I never thought that this is how I’ll find out about my ‘boyfriend’. “That’s Edward?” I voiced out, shocked. A strand of red hair? That’s a pretty weird thing to hold on to, to be honest.
“Yeah, why?” He looked at me in confusion.
“Nothing just... Nothing, it’s nothing let’s go ahead with the date.” He nodded and we proceeded but the thoughts of the little boy in the frame never left my mind.
It was evening now and we were getting ready to go back home. I packed my bag, hastily. In a rush to get out of here. My mind occupied with the events of today. I don’t know why, but knowing that Edward didn’t tell me who he was, hurts.
Maybe he didn’t remember that I was once there in his life, but I don’t think that he even remembers anything from those few days. After all, he was a kid. I need to clear my mind and in order to do that I need to be alone where my senses are not filled with his thoughts.
There was a knock that sounded through the room and made me stop doing the packing. Suddenly silence fell upon the room until I realized that I’m panting and without seeing I know who is at the door. Taking in a deep breath I said.
“Yeah?” The door opened and in walked the guy who has been invading my thoughts.
“Hey.” Edward’s voice rang through my hears and it felt amazing to listen to him. “So, this is it?” He asks.
“Yeah... I’m just... Checking everything for the last time, so I don’t forget any of my stuff.” Now I am rambling. I don’t even know what is wrong with me. He might think that I am crazy or something.
“Everything’s ok between us, right?” He asked, worried or so it sounded.
“Yeah, all is good. I’m just a little nervous to introduce you to mom. Of course, she knows you, but she doesn’t like know you as...” I stopped, thinking what I’m supposed to say, my hands mid in air as I tried to explain. “You get what I’m saying? Because it’s just all so-”
“Hey, hey, hey.” He stepped forward cutting me off and holding my hands in his. “It’s ok with me. I get that you need some time to explain it to your mom so if you want to tell her later about us, it’s perfect with me. I won’t try and force you to do things you don’t want to. Ok?” He asks and I nodded with a little smile. If only you knew.
He returned my smile and leaned in to lay a kiss on my lips but I stepped back, not feeling comfortable with all the thoughts of that photo going through my head.
He looked at me with hurt in his eyes and it almost made me cry. “I think I should go through my things for the last time. I’ll uh... See you downstairs?” He nodded and left the room without saying anything else. I looked at the room one last time, remembering all the good and the bad things I have seen happen here.
God, I’ll miss this place. I leave the room with a heavy sigh.
We entered to a house which looks like it had been abandoned for quite a while, but still felt like someone lived here. Just a little bit of dust here and there, everything else was just as we left it. Mom would be here in an hour or two and I’m excited to meet her.
I don’t know how to tell her about all this, but there is something I still have to figure out.
“Hey, so I’m going in my room.” Said Blake, startling me. “Geez, chill. Are you ok?” He said in a cheery voice but I could tell something was off.
“Me? Are you ok?” His face fell and we headed towards the living room to sit down and talk.
“So, something’s been bugging me.” He said.
“What is it?”
“I think Chris is hiding something from me.” He said with his head held low.
“Ok... And what do you think it is?” I asked, but somewhere in my heart I knew the answer to it.
“I don’t really know, but it seems big.” I hate anxious Blake, he terrifies me.
I need to make this right. I need to tell him. It’s killing me to keep a secret this big. “Blake, I need to tell you something.” Just as I finished his phone rang, he held up a finger and went to answer the call as I sat there thinking what I was about to do.
He came back and sat beside me, I decided to change the subject so that I can get time to think. “Who was it?” I asked.
“Chris. He said that he wants to tell me something important. I think he’ll tell me what is going on.” His face didn’t show any type of relief so I figured it’s something big.
“That’s a good thing, right?” I asked, he just shook his head and looked towards the floor.
“What if he wants to break up?”
“Blake! Don’t think like that! He likes you. A lot. And if he doesn’t, he’ll be missing the most amazing thing that ever happened in his life. But I for one think that he likes you as much as you like him, and dare I say he might be in love with you. You are the most peaceful soul to be around and I don’t even know what I did to get you as my friend. So never think such negative things, alright?” I say and all he does is nods, although I do think if Chris is going to tell him about the secret. I can’t bear what he will think of me when he finds out that I knew.
My phone rang, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked at Blake to see him looking at the TV with a deep frown. “I’ll be back.” And I leave to answer the phone. Without checking the ID I picked it up.
“Hey, have you reached?” Answers the voice of my ‘boyfriend’, and it’s soothing and nerve wrecking at the same time, to listen to his voice.
“Yeah, we reached around 10 minutes ago.”
“Good. Are you free this Friday?” He asks, sounding a little jumpy.
“I think so. Why?” I couldn’t help but ask. “It’s the big date of Adam and Wren.”
“Nothing, I thought maybe we could hang out?”
The photo of the small boy with chocolate-colored eyes flashed through my mind. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Adam might need me with some last-minute arrangement or something.” I tried to reason with him. I don’t want to meet him unless I sort myself out.
“Oh, okay. Let me know when you are free then?”
“Sure.” I replied.
“Okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodbye. And I love you.” Did he mean it?
A long pause was there, no sound, no movement, just a shock that was rushing through my body.
“What?” I questioned, just to be sure if I heard it right.
“I love you, Ava. I did not want to do this over phone, but I just couldn’t go any longer knowing that you don’t know what I really feel for you,” he explained himself, while I was in no position to say anything, “I don’t want you to feel pressured into a response, and I don’t want an answer right now. I just want you to know my true intentions for you so that you can be prepared.” He defended and my heart swelled in delight.
I don’t think I can say those words now but knowing I am not being forced into a response seems less frightening, “okay,” I replied softly with a smile and I heard a sigh of relief from the other end. Maybe he doesn’t remember us as kids, I can’t hold that against him.
We exchanged our final goodbyes and finally hung up.
I heard the front door open and in walked mom with her luggage. As soon as she came in, I threw myself at her, hugging her so close.
After we exchanged a few ‘I miss yous’ and how we both are, Blake came out and greeted my mom with a smile.
The rest of the night we all talked about school and what she did on her trip, and what gifts she brought us.
And all the while, the thought lingered on my mind was about the little boy with chocolate brown eyes staring at me. And the three heavy words said by the older version of him that are tugging at my heart.