I wish I never would’ve met you,
That way I wouldn’t have to move on
There will be a lot of switching between the POVs, as I want to cover everyone’s perspective of the situation. Hope you enjoy it.
Okay, it’s all set. The balloons, roses, baskets of chocolates, candles. It’s all good. No need to be nervous there, bud, we’re all good.
I tried to reassure my wolf, he’s been on edge since yesterday when Alpha told us about our mate. I have tried to calm him down but when Luna Ava came, he couldn’t help but be thankful.
It’s all good there, bud. We’ll win her, she loves us just as much as we love her.
I looked at my phone, it shows the time 5:46pm, she’ll be here in a few minutes. I have gone over my “take me back” speech a hundred times but I still feel like I’m gonna mess it up.
I couldn’t sleep last night, not that I have been sleeping regularly but at least last night was because of the excitement.
I will do everything I can to make her stay, today she will be mine and the world would make sense again.
As I went over the details in my head, I heard the door to the roof being opened and in stepped my love, my reason to be here. Amber.
She was dressed in simple cardigan and jeans with her hair pulled up into a ponytail but she couldn’t have looked more beautiful.
Her face held a shocked expression when she looked around the décor and finally her eyes met mine and I forgot how to breath.
And for the first time in what feels like a lifetime, I smiled, a true “I’m in love and there’s nothing anyone can do about it” smile.
It all seems like a dream when I walked in, there were like a million chocolate baskets, the whole place was decorated with roses and my favorite scented candles which flickered now and then due to the cold breeze passing us.
And finally, my eyes landed on him, the reason I was here. I could feel him stop breathing and a smile immediately covered his face.
He looked as bad as me, worse even, with his sunken face and dark circles covering his eyes, yet his smile was beautiful, like this was the moment he was living for.
Focus Amber, you’re here to tell him you fell out of love... like... whatever it was between us. But all I know, is that it was a lie, from the beginning.
A few days ago, I got a hold of Adrian, the first monster Ava was involved with, I made up lies to get out of him everything it would take to make Ryder leave me, I was terrified the whole time during our talk, but it was necessary and I pulled through.
“Hey,” he whispered softly as he took a step forward. Being on edge and deathly afraid of what he will do I took a step back immediately, making him stop in his track. I observed the expression of hurt covering his face before he masked it with a smile, but I saw it.
“I got your favorite treats, you can dig in if you want, it’s all for you,” he said nervously, yet he was excited about it.
“Look, Ryder, I’m not here for all this I just need to tell you this then I’m on my way,” I told him with urgency but before I could open my mouth again, he interrupted me.
“Before you go, babe... Amber,” he corrected himself, “please just hear me out okay,” he pleaded, or what I thought was pleading.
I deserve it don’t I? And even if I don’t, I would regret it for the rest of my life that I didn’t let him say anything in his defense, I did tell Ava that I will give him one chance, and so keeping that in mind I nodded his way slightly.
“I know you think I’m some kind of monster, maybe I am, hell I know I am, but with you I feel like a normal person, someone who can be loved, someone who can love. All my life there was no one besides Edward who knew much about me, but the moment I laid my eyes on you, when I felt the connection we have, I knew that there would never be anyone else other than you, whom I want to tell things about me.
“Today, I didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness for lying to you, because I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m her to beg you to give us a chance. I can’t promise to treat you like a princess because you are so much more than that, you deserve to be treated like a goddess and heaven knows you’re way out of my league. But I’m still here, on my knees,” he bent down on both his knees, I didn’t even realize when he moved this close to me. His face in line with my stomach, his eyes looking up at my face, his hands in front, on his lap as he continued, “begging you to take me back knowing that I don’t deserve you, but promising to love you with every last bit of my heart, my mind, and my soul for the rest of my life. I may run out of patience with you, but I will never ever run out of love. I love you too much to let you go again. So Amber, will you please give me a chance?”
His face was covered in tears, and I realized, so was mine, I loved him, I knew I loved him a long time ago but then I found out he lied to me. I can’t keep doing this to him and myself knowing that I will never be able to trust him again.
“Ryder please, get up.” I pleaded in a soft voice and he obliged to my request.
He deserves better, he deserves so much better than what I have to offer.
I woke up today with the full intention of screaming at him and telling him he doesn’t deserve me, but the truth is I’m the one who actually caused him so much pain and suffering and I’m the one who doesn’t deserve him.
“Please, baby. Say something,” he said making me look into his scared eyes which held a little bit of hope.
I was in my room with Sugar, laying on my bed. She seemed to be on edge, asking every few minutes to go and see how my beta is doing.
I know after marking her, she has come to care more of our pack, and she must have started to feel my emotions too, because I can certainly feel hers, more than what I did before.
I was happy, everything was falling into place, all of us were beginning to be happy. And after tonight, all will be good.
“Will you calm down, I can actually feel your nerves more than I used to, before we mated, and it’s not helping. Everything’s going to be fine.” I tried to reassure her with a smile and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Ash I really think we should-” before she could finish, I felt a pain piercing through my body and I couldn’t help the scream breaking through.
It wasn’t mine, the pain, it was someone else, someone from the pack. Being the Alpha I’m connected to the top rankings of my pack, that is, my beta, gamma, delta and my Luna.
“Ash, what’s wrong!?” I heard the worry in Ava’s voice, and I could help but double over in pain again.
“Ryder,” was the only thing I could mumble and I saw the color drain from her face.
“No,” she whispered as she took a step back.
“Ava, what happened?” I asked, still feeling the intense feeling of what seems like a heartache.
I can only feel the pain of my pack, when it is so intense, they can’t handle it. To this day, I haven’t come across such feeling. This must be really bad.
I see Asher holding onto where is heart is, over his T-Shirt. I don’t know what is going on but when he murmured Ryder’s name I thought of the worst.
I knew I should’ve told him, it’s all my fault. The sob that broke through me was full of pain, remorse, and regret.
I looked at Asher to see him look at me with a worried expression despite the pain he is going through.
“Asher, I’m so sorry,” I told him everything, I had to or else I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself, not that I can right now.
After the explanation, he pulled up and asked me to drive to the restaurant which was 10 minutes away.
I was a nervous wreck when I pulled up to the parking and we hurriedly made our way to the rooftop.
The moment we entered my heart stopped beating, and it seemed like time has stopped, too.
Asher fell to the ground looking at the situation in front of him.
“I...,” My voice broke out as I spoke, he deserves better, he deserves so much better than what I have to offer.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as tears finally fell down completely, “I, Amber Richardson, reject you, Ryder Stone as my mate,” I cried out, when suddenly my heart felt heavy and I couldn’t take it anymore and fell to the ground.
“No,” he whispered in a cry, “NO!” This time, he screamed and fell to the ground as well, clutching his chest in a tight grip.
Worried, I scrambled towards him. Seeing him in this much pain made me want to hurt the one who caused it, but weirdly I didn’t feel any anger towards me, just towards the situation.
Maybe this is what rejecting someone does but with a hundred times more force.
I watch him double over in pain, his eyes terrified at first, not knowing what are the consequences waiting after my decision.
“You’ll be fine, you’ll be fine,” I whispered the mantra as I made his head lay in my lap.
“I’m so sorry, it will all go away. I promise, it might hurt now but it will all go away.” Instead of crying with me, I looked at his face to see a smile etched into his lips.
I was confused because the pain was obvious in his eyes but his smile still melted my heart, it seemed like he was smiling in relief.
“At least this way, it will hurt less,” he barely got out, I frowned.
“What will?” I retaliated but before I could get the answer, the door barged open showing a panicked face of Ava and the sad, painful face of Edward. “Ava, I-” before I could finish, the weight on my lap increased.
I look down to see Ryder’s open eyes staring back at me, his face still holding a smile, but something was wrong. Something was gravely wrong, his eyes didn’t hold pain anymore, in fact they didn’t hold anything.
“Ryder! RYDER! TALK TO ME!” I screamed at him, shaking his shoulders, patting his face but nothing. He didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t even blink an eye.
And the gravity of it fell on me like a bucket of ice-cold water. I did this to him. He is gone because I did this. It’s all my fault.
In that moment, the tears didn’t stop, and the worst part is I am not crying for him, I’m crying for the situation, I’m crying because I could’ve prevented all this. If only I could’ve.
The Moon Goddess
It has been eons since I took one of my children back because their mate rejected them, and I wish there would never be anyone else to collect.
I come to take their souls because after the heartbreak of a mate’s rejection, they deserve to have peace, and a chance to do it again if they’re willing to take.
Tonight, I gaze upon one such child of mine, his soul stands 2 feet away from where his body lays lifeless in his mate’s arms, a surely peaceful way to go.
I walk towards him, resting my hand on his shoulder as he turned his gaze to me with confusion.
“Who are you?” He asks, and I smiled.
“I’m the one you pray to,” I replied softly. His eyes do a once over of my appearance in a simple white gown and the flowing hair.
“Moon goddess!” He exclaimed and bowed down, to show me his respect. My children, they deserve much better than to go this way. “Do always come when one of us dies?” He asked after rising.
“Only the ones who go this way,” I smiled at him again. He nodded his head in understanding.
“Can I have a few more minutes?” He asked, not knowing what I am about to offer.
“It doesn’t have to be a few minutes my child,” I assured him.
“What do you mean?” His brows creased in confusion.
“My children deserve better than to pass away from a heartbreak, so I give them a chance to live their life the way they want to, to choose their mate as they grow old, even the same one if they want.” My gaze moved to the crying figure clutching his lifeless corpse. “There have only been a handful of such deaths, and I pay attention to them.”
“And how many take the chance?” He asked with a loving gaze fixed on his former mate.
“To this day, none,” I replied honestly.
“And what happens if I do take it?” A curious mind indeed.
“Then you will go back into your body, and feel no pain or love for the person who hurt you this way, you will be able to mark the person who you love and who loves you without any remorse. There will be no mate bond until you are marked.”
“And what if I don’t want to?”
“Then, you will come with me where your soul will rest in peace and if you wish I can show you what will happen in the future without you.”
“So, I can either come with you and know what will happen but I won’t be a part of it, or leave my love alone and live with hopes of finding someone who will accept me the way I am but it won’t be her.” He stated and I nodded.
He seemed to be in a deep thought, a thought I have come accustomed to, already knowing the outcome of what he is about to choose.
“You know, I get why no one chose to take another chance at life. Because no one wants to love anyone else other than their mate. I fell in love with her the moment our eyes met and I won’t be able to live a life where she isn’t a part of it.” He stated, “it’s better this way, she deserves a life where there is no threat, she can live without being scared, she deserves that. She doesn’t deserve me, or the life I lead. I can’t do it by going back.”
Just like all my children, he chose the path which will make his former mate happy. And I smiled again.
“Is it possible that I can watch over them, see what they are doing?” He asked with hopeful eyes, no one has made such request of me in billions of years, how can I refuse the last wish of my child?
“Of course, my dear. You will be able to watch over them if that’s what you want.”
“Okay then, when do we leave?”
“Whenever you are ready.”
He moved towards his mate, glancing at her one final time as if to say goodbye, “you’ll be happy my love, I will make sure of that.”
Next, he moved to the two figures by the door, his Alpha and Luna, they sit there on their knees with her crying and the Alpha staring at the situation he never thought he would see.
So much for a young mind to bear, such young kids, barely at the age of adulthood and they come across a death of a loved one. I can’t imagine anything worse.
“Hey Asher, it’s been a while since I called you that, and I get why you didn’t want to be called that all those years, mates can do a lot even when you don’t know they are yours in the beginning,” Ryder smiled at his Alpha, “you will be fine, you will get a new beta, not someone as good as me but someone who will be able to take the responsibility,” he smiled at moved towards his crying Luna.
“Luna, I’m so sorry for the way that I treated you. You tried everything to make her realize she loves me, but it’s not your fault she doesn’t,” he knows they can’t hear him, but what he doesn’t know is that they can still sense his presence if he tries hard enough, “my only regret remains that I didn’t call you Luna many times, and I hope you can forgive me for that.”
He reaches out to take her hand, and the moment his presence lingers on her, she realizes it, it shocks him too.
“They cannot hear you, but if you try, you can make them feel your aura.” I eased his mind and his face broke into a smile.
He went to touch his Alpha and he realizes it too.
“Ryder,” he whispers softly that not even his Luna could hear.
He again, moved towards his mate who is still in tears, as he bent down to her level.
He moved his face close to hers, just enough that their lips touch and she stops crying, detecting his presence to as she started to look around.
“I love you so much, Amber. I just wish my love was enough,” he leaned to be as close to her as he possibly can without touching her.
He stood up, looking at his friends once more and made his way towards me.
“I’m ready,” of course he is, my brave child. He will be at peace.
A bright, white light made an opening by the corner of the roof, and I asked him the question I have been eager to know his answer to.
“Do you want to know what will happen after?” I looked at his face.
He moved his eyes around to his friends who are still there with shock covering their faces.
“You said I get to watch over them, right?” His gaze constant on his loved ones.
“Yes. You can.”
“Then no, I don’t want to know what will happen after. I will live it with them.” He replied as he walked with me into the light with a big smile on his face.
I have to take special care of this one, I never favor anyone amongst my creations, but this one just warmed me up when I wasn’t even accustomed to the feeling.