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Letting go

By meme12 All Rights Reserved ©


Chapter 1

I could see that look in your eyes

You were in pain all the time

You were distant with me

But warm with her

You watched as your boyfriend hastily help your friend up. “What are you standing there for!? Get the band-aid!?” You snapped out of shock and rushed to get the first aid kit. When you return; you see him worried over your friend and you wonder why you never see that worry in his eyes before when you’re hurt.

I could never let you tell me

Your deepest secrets

Yet she’s the one

That knows all that I don’t know

“Do you know that Jake actually has a twin brother?” You looked up in surprise at your friend and asked her where she heard it from. “You didn’t know? Jake told me. He didn’t tell you? Man that’s weird but you’re his girlfriend right?” You just smiled and said that you never intrude on his privacy. “Oh well, I can tell you loads of secrets that he told me then. Don’t tell him I said it!” Your friend winks and prattles on but you’re no longer listening because you wonder why he has never told you anything…

I try and try

But yet I can’t be how you wish me to be

“Is dinner alright?” Jake maintains his silence while you hide your nervousness and hope underneath a mask of shyness. “Is it…” “I heard you! Don’t act like a parrot and let me eat in peace!” You zip up immediately and looked down on to your lap when the door-bell rang. You open the door to find your friend there with some food. “I made a little extra so I came to share it with you guys!” She happily enters and you notice how your boyfriend brightens up at her appearance. “Care to try?” “Sure, wow these taste good!” “Thanks, you wouldn’t mind if I get the plates for this right?” You shake your head and get the plates. You watch your boyfriend happily tuck in and finish off everything that your friend had prepared but he never touch the meal you prepared…

I never hear my name from your sleep

But I hear hers instead

You stand at the porch of your home staring at the skies in thought while the laughter goes on in the house. Your boyfriend and your friend are having their drinks and going nuts in celebration. You finger the ring he gave you with much reluctance you remembered and if it wasn’t for your friend’s persuasion he wouldn’t have given it to you. The noises died down and you enter the house to see them sprawled on the couch in a drunken sleep. You smile and went to get a blanket; when you draped it over your boyfriend he murmurs: “Stay with me…” You look up and you hear it again but this time he grabs your arm. “Stay with me…” You sigh and reached over to ruffle his hair. “Stay with me Alice…” Your hand freezes in action and his grip slackens before letting go of your arm leaving you in shock.

You have made your choice

I have no more reason to stay

It’s time to go on my way

You were frozen for a long while before you realize everything and the painful reality seeps in. You tried to ignore it but it is true that he had always loved your friend more then you. You felt the tears fall but turn towards the bedroom. You drag out a suitcase and begin folding all your clothes into it. It was a miracle that you could accomplish it with trembling hands. You took your suitcase and carry it down the stairs and placed it at the door. You write a note and with a heavy heart remove the ring from your finger.

I will miss you

And the memories

But I’m letting go

For you to be free

You strolled aimlessly around the house before stopping in front of your boyfriend. You try to capture that peaceful expression and lock it in the memory box before leaning over and pressed your lips to his forehead. “Sweet dreams” you murmur softly in his ear before walking to the door and pulled your suitcase. You are dying to look back but you resist; you fear the softness in your heart will hold you back once more besides…you have nothing left to lose. You placed the suitcase in the booth of the car and slide into the driver seat.

I’m scared of letting go

But if I don’t

You will never be happy

As you place your hands on the steering wheel; your vision mist up and you start to cry and wail in anguish. It is painful to let go especially after trying so hard only to find out that you’re the losing party in the end.

I’m letting go now

It’s the only chance that I can give

For your happiness

You slowly calm down and wiped away the tears before replacing  shaky hands onto the steering wheel and started the car. You eased it out of the drive way before shifting gear and sped off on to the empty highway; determined to leave him behind. The car meter increased; warning you that you are speeding. You don’t care... After all...he’s happier now...with her isn’t it...? Without knowing, you begin to smile amidst the tears as you drove off further and further out to a new start…

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