Love is Death

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“Thank you for the lovely evening Mrs. Evans,” Dominick’s mom hugged me tightly and I could tell she wished I would stay. “I hope to see you again soon”

“You too Addelyn. Have a good night.” Andy got caught up at work so, I only met Dominick’s mom, but I’m glad I did. We drove back home, and I had to fight from blushing everytime I locked eyes with Dominick in the rear view mirror. Luckily my mom didn’t notice anything over the blasting of Hotline Bling, Why Mom? You don’t need to try and fit in, that’s already my job.

“Well I’m exhausted. Sweet dreams Addy honey. Don’t stay up too late.”

“Goodnight Mom, and I won’t.” Dominick was waiting in the mirror when I flopped onto my bed. I never realised how much energy it takes to socialize. Dominick was jumping up and down trying to get my attention, “Yes Dominick?” He made the heart with his hands again, and I hid under one of my pillows. He is too cute. But… how am I going to be with a ghost? I can’t touch him, can’t feel him, can’t even hear his voice anymore. The more I thought about it, the more miserable I felt. “I’m going to go take a shower. Don’t go anywhere.” His fake laugh was followed by a death stare that seemed like it would’ve made me a ghost too.

What if we tried dating? Would he trust me enough to not cheat? Oh who am I kidding? I’ve never had a boyfriend before let alone been able to cheat on one. Ugh, can’t I just turn my mind off. Shower thoughts have always been my worst enemy, but they’ve never caused me depression before. What is wrong with me?Don’t get depressed over boys, that’s so silly. Of course it’s more than that. I’ve felt my depression growing back since Dominick was announced dead. I miss him so much. It’s not the same without the sound of his voice, and the comfort of his hugs. My thoughts continued to circle around, tearing off pieces of my heart little by little.

Days passed this way; talking to Dominick at home, sometimes talking with Mrs. Evans and being chased into depression by my shower thoughts. I hated school now, Dominick was my only true friend so I just spent most of my time alone. At least I tried to be alone, kind of hard when Brittany, the most popular girl in school, won’t leave you alone. No she wasn’t trying to be my friend, she just wanted to continue at her revenge from “stealing Dominick.”

Everyday she started it off with the usual sneer and a “Hello Addelyn,”

“Hello Brittany, how are you today?”

“I would’ve been good but Dominick is gone. Of course you’d know right? Since you obviously liked him.”

“Brittany just leave me alone.”

“I don’t feel like it,” she squinted at me while twirling her bleached out hair, ”You know I think Dominick is better off without you to be honest.”

“No one cares what you think Brittany!” Next thing I knew I standing in front of Brittany and others around had started to watch us. Just perfect.

“You’re so mean to me Addelyn, all I wanted was to say I’m sorry for your loss,” she faked cried for the ever-increasing crowd. Her cliche started to nod in agreement, spreading around to everyone else like a virus.

“I’m sorry Brittany…” I turned and started to walk away. Ugh, why do I always let her win. Stand up for yourself. I stopped, Not like I have any reason not to. I’m done with this. I walked right up to Brittany’s face and uttered with the sweetest smile I could manage, “It’s just so hard to stay positive when you’re constantly faking how you feel. You would know after all, since that’s all you’ve ever done.” There was a silencing smack and I could feel the stinging start to accumulate on my cheek. Mrs. Moorine, a teacher, rushed onto the scene and pushed us away from each other.

“What’s going on here young ladies?” She demanded like an army general.

Brittany started first with her usual blaming whine, “Addelyn started to insult and attack me just because I said I was sorry about Dominick! I had to defend myself so I slapped her.”

“Addelyn is this true?” Mrs. Moorine asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Why do you even bother asking me? Everyone knows Miss Perfect always gets her way so I’m going to get in trouble because I actually had the guts to stand up to her top dog attitude.” And I was right, soon enough I got sent home and everywhere I went people shot me dirty looks like I slapped Brittany first.

I had to tell my mom so naturally Dominick heard too, I’d never seen him so angry. For an hour he was just ranting to himself so I took my shower early. I should’ve just walked away when I had the chance. For the first time in a long time, a little silver object caught my eye. No, Dominick worked so hard to save me from the cuts. Of course things are different now, Dominick would never know. I don’t know how long I stood there staring at the little blade.


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