How could she not come? I thought pacing my room like a caged jungle cat. I ran my hand threw my wet hair and blew out a frustrated breath.
That swim had only increased how agitated I was. I wanted to go over to her house and throw her over my shoulder and bring her home with me.
I pulled my boxing gloves on and let my frustration out. I threw punch after punch until I could barely lift my arms.
“Trevor,” Raven said poking her head in my room.
“I didn’t know if you were here.” She said walking in and going over to sit on my bed.
“Are you ready for tomorrow,” She asked looking up at me.
“Yes,” I said pointing to my packed luggage.
“I’m sorry she didn’t come.” She said sounding sad.
“Don’t worry about me little sister,” I said walking over to her.
I sat beside her and pulled her to me as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“I know how much this is hurting you Trevor. I know how much you love her.” She said sniffling.
“I’m fine, I promise.” I said trying to reassure her.
I really was doing my best to not let her see how crushed I really was. Sky had been her best friend since preschool and I didn’t want to come between them.
“I hurt her Raven. I get why she’s choosing to stay away. There’s no excuse for what I said or how I acted. That night I was out of control. I drank way too much hoping that I could forget her for just a second. It makes me crazy that I lost my chance. What hurts the most is that I did this all to myself.” I said sadness in my voice.
“I could have told her how I felt a million times and I didn’t.” I said regretfully.
“She would have come if she wanted. She didn’t. Message received.” I said taking my gloves off.
“I don’t think that she doesn’t want to see you Trevor. I think she’s just afraid of what she will feel if she does.” Raven said leaning her head on my shoulder.
“You must admit that you have crappy timing. She’s dating someone, and our Sky is a one-man girl.”
She was right as much as I hated to admit it.
“Luckily today is not over. Which means you still have a chance to see her. And I’m going to make it happen.” She said pulling her phone from her back pocket.
Her phoned dinged and she looked at her message with a huge grin.
What was this girl up too? I thought to myself.
“I’ll be back late and very intoxicated.” She said with a serious face.
“Poor Sky will partially have to carry me to my room. Good thing she loves me.” She said with a mischievous grin.
“What you do with that information is up to you. Don’t blow it,” she said turning to leave.
So many things to think about. Did I want to see her when I knew that she would not have come on her own? Did I keep fighting for her and seize this chance Raven was giving?
I closed my eyes and tried to think about anything besides her and like always it seemed imposable.
After debating for hours, I decided it was best to just leave her alone. I was only setting myself up for rejection.
Before long I drifted off to sleep thinking about the one girl I could never have.
“Trevor,” A voice called out to me.
“Trevor,” The voice called again this time shaking me.
“Please wake up,” the voice said desperately.
I opened my eyes and Sky stood by my bed looking as beautiful as ever.
I sat up confused for a few seconds wondering why she was in my room.
“Trevor, I need you to help me get Raven from the car. She’s drunk and I can’t get her to get out of the car. She’s being unreasonable. She keeps screaming for you, so I figured I better come get you before she wakes the whole neighborhood up.
“Give me a minute to get a shirt and shoes on and I’ll be right down.” I said getting up.
“Okay,” She said turning to leave.
When I made it outside Raven was hanging out of the open car singing very loudly.
“Raven,” I said as I approached her.
She looked up and smiled big. “Brother.”
“Finally,” She said getting out of the car and walking inside leaving Sky and I outside.
I looked over at Sky who looked like a deer caught in head lights. I didn’t want to make things more awkward between us, so I avoided looking at her and headed back inside.
“Wait,” Sky said walking up behind me.
I turned to look at her and lost my breath. No one had ever affected me like she did.
“I’m sorry,” She said looking up at me.
“There is nothing that you need to apologize for.”
“You and I both know that there is,” she said her voice full of emotion.
She was apologizing for not coming to see me. I was not going to let her see how hurt I really was.
“It’s fine Sky. I get it. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’ll never bring my feelings up again.” I said turning my back on her for the second time that night.
“Trevor,” She whispered.
“I can’t do this with you Sky.” I said my voice cracking.
I had to keep walking. Things between us were just not meant to be. The faster I realized that the better I was going to be.
When I reached the door, I forced myself to walk inside and not look back.
I stood there watching him walk away and my heart broke a little. Why hadn’t I come to see him? Who was I kidding I knew why. I was with Stephen now and I didn’t want to put myself in a situation that would make me do something out of character. This was what I wanted wasn’t it?
I couldn’t bear to think that he was upset because of me. Before I could change my mind, I followed him inside and up to his room.
I opened his door and walked in closing the door behind me. He was sitting on the edge of his bed shirtless.
Beautiful blue eyes looked up at me. He ran his hand through his hair and stood up.
“I tried to let you go but here you are. Why?” He said sounding tired.
“I just,” I stammered not knowing what to say.
“You just what?” He said talking a step towards me.
“Do you realize how hard this is for me right now? My fingers are itching to touch you. To pull you into my arms and kiss you the way I have always wanted to. This is cruel Sky, please go.” He said locking eyes with me.
A part of me wanted to argue and stay but I knew that he was right. I had made my choice by not coming to see him and now I was going to have to live with it. He didn’t deserve to be hurt anymore then he already was. I needed to let him move on from me and find someone that could love him how he deserved.
“I’m going to miss you.” I said tears rolling down my face.
“Sky,” Trevor whispered coming to stand next to me wiping my tears from my face.
He pulled me into his arms and placed a kiss on my forehead like he had a million times before. But this time was different. The pain in his eyes was hard to miss. I swallowed the lump in my throat at the thought that I had done this to him.