When I opened my eyes, I realized that what was happening wasn’t a dream. It was really taking place in reality. Adam was still kissing me, and his eyes had closed, like mine had before. Unfortunately, as soon as he realized I wasn’t kissing him back, he opened his eyes and gaze into mine.
We both immediately froze, trying to think of what we’d done.
Then, Adam finally left my lips, though his hands didn’t let me go. As for me, I didn’t have the courage to look at anyone, so I just hid my face between Adam’s chest and arm.
“You got your prove. Leave.” Adam demanded in a much calmer way, now, though I was sure everyone could see how upset he was. I knew why. He’d just kissed a girl that wasn’t his girlfriend, because some stupid guy was making fun of her.
The moment I thought about Adam and Rachel together, I felt the guiltiest person in the world.
“It’s good to see you’ve finally evolved, Eva.” I heard Rick, though I didn’t turn around to look into those mean eyes.
“Leave.” Adam said once more.
“Calm down, big guy. I’m leaving already.” And he was. I could hear his laugh and his steps distancing more and more from where we were, and then, silence.
I didn’t think anyone had the courage to say anything, other than Adam. “Shall we go? I’ve seen enough of this park.”
Since no one dared to say anything back at him, he just turned around to leave, finally letting me go. I instantly felt alone. Chris and Lucy quietly followed Adam, while I stayed behind with Jamie.
I just wanted to cry, now. I hated my life for this stupid and miserable mistaken I’d done! The first time I was going to have sex, I just couldn’t do it! To get worse, everyone knew about it the next day and teased me! Later on, my mother dies and I have to live with my aunt and work as a maid on a house where I met the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen! I’m not even allowed to dream about him, but he just kissed me moments ago! Oh, not to mention I’ve never met my own father!
“My day is officially ruined.” I thought out loud.
“Oh, come on, Eva... don’t worry about it. Now, everyone’s just going to think Adam’s your boyfriend, so they’ll stop saying you’re...” Not finishing her sentence, Jamie put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me to her.
“How could Rick just say those things like that? Didn’t he tease me the enough already? Didn’t he have enough fun?” I wondered what Adam thought of me, now. He probably thought I was the weakest person in the world. I couldn’t even look at Rick. Adam had to defend me. And thanks to it, he’d ended up kissing me...
He hadn’t kissed me because he wanted, but because he’d been forced, right? Technically... he hadn’t cheated on Rachel, right?
Sighing, I looked ahead and sighted Adam leading the way, in route for the place where he’d left his car. I wiped off my tears before watching him unlocking his car and telling us to get in. He was acting so cold... Well, I comprehended him. I wouldn’t be feeling any better if I had to kiss another guy while having a boyfriend.
I got in the car, and didn’t dare to look at Adam. At first, none of them in the back of the car talked, but since Adam was driving slower than the usual, my friends quietly started talking between them. As for me, I didn’t even want to move, since I didn’t want to draw Adam’s attention to me, afraid he’d look at me with disgust in his eyes.
By the time we arrived to the place where we’d all met, it was 6 PM. Adam parked the car when he had the chance to, and killed the engine. “Where do you want to go?”
“You know...” Chris started, “Maybe its better if you just left us-”
“Already?” I didn’t even let him finish, because I knew what he was going to say. “It’s still so early!”
“Yeah, but...” I watched Jamie gazing at the back of Adam, somehow warning me. “It’s better, really, Eva. You can call us later, and... tell us when your next day off is so that we can... see each other again.” I knew what Jamie was trying to say. She wanted me to call her later in case Adam and I ended up talking about what had happened. In fact, that was their plan. They wanted to leave us alone so that we could talk. I could see it in their eyes.
Defeated, I just said, “Ok, then...”
“Do you still remember where we live, Adam?” Chris asked, clinging to his seat.
“Yeah, I remember.” Was his only answer. A second later, he took off again and dropped each of them at each house. I sadly and feebly said goodbye to my best friends, wondering when I’d have another day off, since this one was totally ruined now.
It was around 7 PM, when it was just Adam and I in the car, and I noticed he was already leaving my hometown. After what had happened, I knew he probably just wanted to go to his stable, to ease the guilt he was feeling because of the kiss, while in the company of his beloved horses.
Unconsciously, my fingers touched my lips when I closed my eyes and pictured Adam kissing me again. So gently, smoothly... I allowed myself to dream of it, trying to feel his taste, his touch, once again on me, on my body, lips and mouth...
“Eva...” A voice in the background called for me.
“Not now...” I found myself muttering, “Let me-”
“Kid, wake up.” As soon as the cultured voice said that, a pair of hands started shaking me.
At last, my eyes opened. The first thing I noticed was that it was dark already. Then, when I turned my head to the opposite side of the car window, I sighted Adam too close to me again. His hands rested now on my legs, which meant he wasn’t driving. Looking outside again, I became aware Adam had parked in the middle of nowhere.
Was I... in trouble?
Straightening myself, and before Adam started talking, I immediately began defending myself, “Look, Adam, I’m sorry for what you had to do! If it makes you feel any better, I feel really guilty for what happened! I know our day is ruined because of... Rick, but I’m sorry! Really. I know it’s my entire fault. I mean, you have a girlfriend, and yet you kissed me just because some guy was making fun of me! He had no right to force to do such thing and-”
Abruptly, Adam lifted his hand and motioned his fingers towards my mouth. I immediately shut up when he touched my lips. “Calm down, kid.” He said, “I’m not... mad at you. I was just going to ask you if you still want to have dinner with me.”
What the hell? First he’d completely paid no heed to me, and now he was asking me if I still wanted to have dinner alone with him? At any rate, before I answered, I looked around. There wasn’t any restaurant there. “Where are we? What time is it?”
“We’re half way to my house, and it’s almost 9 PM.”
“Oh. Why are you asking me if I still want to have dinner with you? There’s no restaurant here. Besides, I thought you’d changed your mind...”
Adam leaned back and looked through his window when he replied, “There’s a diner a mile or something behind us...” Silence, again. I could see in his face that he wanted to say something else, so I kept my mouth shut and waited. And it paid off. “I planned on having dinner with you on this nice restaurant in your hometown, but after what happened... I really just wanted to go home.”
I don’t blame you. “Why did you change your mind?”
“I realized it wasn’t your fault.” Was he serious? Was he really saying it wasn’t my fault? “But how about talking about it while we eat?”
He was now smiling at me, but it didn’t make me feel safe and sound. If he wanted to talk about it during the dinner, then it was because he had something to say about what had happened, while I just wanted to forget everything.
Well, not... everything. I didn’t to forget... his kiss, though I know I really should.
“Sure.” I finally answered, shrugging.
Right after, Adam started the car and turned it around. It took him only a few minutes to arrive at the dinner he’d talked about. I could see it was almost empty. After he parked the car, we both got out of his red Porsche, and as I expected, Adam didn’t walk right beside me. I could sense he was distancing himself from me, even though he’d said it hadn’t been my fault.
We chose the last table at the back of the diner. Adam sat across me and made himself comfortable. As for me, it was impossible to feel comfy. How could I, after what happened?
Like always, I decided to be the first one to speak. And this time, I’d be just as straight with him as he was with me when I was the one who questioned him. “Why did you kiss me, Adam? You didn’t need to do it, and you shouldn’t have done it.” Ok, maybe I’d started too harshly. After all, he’d made Rick go away.
“Did you prefer him to see I was lying? That would just make it all even worse for not only me, but you as well. Not that I’d have any problem with it. I could have beaten the crap out of him if I’d wanted-”
“You aren’t quite answering my question, Adam.” I cut him off brusquely.
I saw him taking a deep breath before he gave me an exasperated reply. “I wanted him to prove you’d somehow changed! I may only know you for a couple of weeks, but he was pissing me off, Eva. I couldn’t just let him keep saying that shit! Besides, you were practically in tears because of him!”
Well, that was because Rick cut me deep again. Before I could say something again, the waitress came to take our orders. Now that I was actually waiting for my dinner, I felt hungry. I hadn’t realized how empty my stomach was until now.
Silence ruled out table for quite a while, until Adam had the audacity to ask, “You preferred him to keep teasing you other than having me kissing you?”
“Yes.” I didn’t even think about it.
Eyes wide-open, Adam seemed utterly amazed with my answer. “Why? Do I kiss that badly?”
“Of course not, idiot!” I snapped, rolling my eyes. “It’s because... you’re you, Adam! And you have a girlfriend! I didn’t want you to... hate me after that! Or to even feel guilty about something Rick forced you to do!”
Tiredly, Adam dropped his head and sighed. “I don’t hate you, Eva. You shouldn’t even blame yourself. And, he didn’t force me to do anything. I did what I did because I wanted, not because that asshole forced me to.”
Puzzled, I stopped breathing a second time that day. “You... wanted?”
“I wanted to kiss you to prove him wrong, Eva!” Adam said with that exasperated tone again. Man, he’d never said my name so many times in a conversation. “Serious, are you sleeping or what?”
“I’m sorry.” I lowered my head, still thinking, you shouldn’t have kissed me. I knew everything would be different between us from now on.
Suddenly, I felt Adam’s fingers in my chin, trying to lift my head. “What’s wrong, kid? Why are you so upset?”
I was upset for the reason that... Adam had no right to do that! Just like that stupid asshole named Rick, too! Adam should have just stayed inside the coffee shop while Rick was there!
But, in the end, I was mostly upset because... I’d liked his kiss. I’d enjoyed it, and deeply... God, I was so stupid. Deeply, I wanted more.
“Are you worried about my own girlfriend?” I heard him asking.
“Yes,” I lied.
Adam just smirked, “No, you’re not, kid. Come on, tell me what’s really bothering you.”
“I need to get some fresh air. It’s hot in here.” I abruptly said, getting up straight away. I didn’t want to answer to that specific question, especially when the one who was asking me that was Adam himself. Confused, Adam watched me walking away. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”
As soon as I stepped outside the diner, I breathed deeply. I really needed to get some fresh air, given that the atmosphere between me and Adam was just too... heavy for me to bear.
For some minutes, it was just me outside, but I knew better when I heard him behind me. I should know he wouldn’t leave me. “Eva.”
However, I didn’t turn around. I seriously needed to be alone to realize what the hell was going on in my head. I wanted to understand why I felt so disturbed with Adam’s kiss. I wanted to ignore what kept popping up in my mind. “Leave me alone, Adam.”
Of course he didn’t leave me. He approached me even more, and obliged me to turn around. He lifted my head again, and looked me in the eyes. “You’re upset about the kiss itself, aren’t you?”
I avoided his glacial stare by closing my eyes. “Yes.”
Then, I felt his hand on my cheek, so warm. Why did he have to do that? “Why?”
“You shouldn’t have done it.”
“You’ve already said that, and that’s not what’s really upsetting you now.” How could he know what the hell I was feeling?
Once more, I repeated, “You shouldn’t have done it!”
“But why, Eva? I did it to prove that guy was wrong!”
I couldn’t control the urge inside me when I caught myself suddenly yelling at Adam, “Because I liked the kiss! Can’t you get it? I liked the kiss, Adam! I liked when you kissed me so gently and caressed me while at it! That’s why!”
For the first time ever, I saw Adam’s jaw falling open. Oh, shit. I’d just said too much. However, I still kept going, unable to restrain myself. “You have a girlfriend, for god’s sake! You shouldn’t be kissing anyone other than her, even if it meant to rescue someone from some stupid asshole! I mean, I was used to putting up with Rick! One more time wouldn’t change anything!”
I couldn’t believe how loud I was yelling. I think... I think I was panicking! And probably because... I was realizing I was starting to like Adam!
“Calm down, kid.” Adam spoke, not breaking down like me.
“Don’t you get it, Adam?” I kept yelling, shaking off his arms when he tried to grab me. “I’m starting to like you!”
He didn’t answer. He kept trying to reach me, but I continued walking away from him, from his addicting touch. “Eva, come here! Stop moving! You’re walking towards the road! Are you ok? You’re-”
Yet again, I shouted. “No, I’m not ok, Adam! You’re my boss, you have a girlfriend, I’m a kid, I shouldn’t even be here with you and you shouldn’t have kissed me! I know that you’re probably thinking I’m being an idiot, and it’s impossible to feel something for you, since we just met two weeks ago, but I-”
Out of the blue, Adam finally grasped me and pulled me to him. Right after that, I felt and heard a truck passing right behind me. Before I could even reason or breathe, Adam was already yelling, “Are you fucking crazy, Eva? What the hell is wrong with you? You need to cool down!”
I felt him squeezing me against his tamed body. While he spoke, I noticed the control and the tension on his voice. Nevertheless, I held on to him. Feeling incredibly guilty and stupid, I finally said, “I’m sorry, Adam. I’m sorry. I know I’m being an idiot...”
“Everything because of a kiss?” Adam asked me, now quieter. I could listen to his heavy breath, probably trying to control himself from freaking out as a reaction to the way I acted in response to the kiss and what I’d realized just moments ago.
“I guess... I unexpectedly became conscious I liked being with you...” All I had in my mind now was everything Adam did to me - the way he caressed me, helped me, and carried me to bed when I didn’t feel like walking or felt too tired for it... The attention he gave me, so different from what the other maids received... And then, when he simply lay with me yesterday, in my bed, cuddling me ever so smoothly and gently... “I am so sorry, Adam.”
At long last, I had the courage to look up at him. He had his icy blue eyes on me. I knew what was about to happen. He’d gently say it was better for us to stop seeing and talking to each other. Just like in the movies. “It’s ok, Eva. It’s my fault, too.”
I tried to step away, but he wouldn’t let me. So I said, “Let me go, Adam. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
With a slightly cocked eyebrow, he asked, “What do you mean?”
“I know you’ll want to stop seeing me.” I replied. Adam remained silent. I hated when he looked at me that seriously. “I know it.”
“Come on, Eva... Are we kids, or what? This isn’t a movie! I don’t want to stop seeing you. I like being with you!” And just like that, he raised his hand and moved towards my face. A second later, he was stroking my cheek.
I grabbed his hand and stopped him from continuing. “Maybe... I’m really just a kid... and I don’t really know what I’m feeling.” Did I really... believe that?
Smiling in a reassuring way, Adam said, “Yeah, maybe you’re just confused. I mean, you lost your mother three weeks ago. You don’t have anyone else near you except one day per week. I’m probably the only person you have to be with... So it’s normal if you feel something and think its love when... it’s just friendship.”
Adam could be right. Yes. He had to be right. I could be mixing my feelings... I couldn’t deny Adam was the only person I felt like being with other than my friends. Yes, maybe I was confused with all that’s been happening in my life. Besides, I couldn’t bear if someone disappeared from my life, again. Not now. Not when I was starting to get used to him.
“Shall we go back to the dinner?”
“What about the kiss, Adam?” I asked, pleading. I just couldn’t shake that off my mind.
“Forget about it, Eva. I’m also going to forget about it. And in case you’re wondering, I’m not going to tell anything about this to Rachel.” Well, I actually didn’t think he’d tell Rachel, to be honest. “Come on, let’s go.”
On the contrary of what had happened after we’d kissed, Adam just wouldn’t let me go. He was all over me, guiding me to the diner, like if I couldn’t get there by myself. Honestly, I think he should just try to avoid me. I would, but I couldn’t - or wanted to, frankly. Adam was the one with the willpower for that.
When we got to the diner, we walked back to our table and sat down. The one thing I could admit was that I was much calmer now, despite everything that I’d said. Go figure.
It was weird, but we just stayed there, looking at each other, exchanging looks. We listening to each other’s breathing, watched our silent moves, and stupid - and innocent - smiles.
At last, the food came. In that very moment, I heard my stomach complaining, and I prayed Adam hadn’t heard it. When I started eating, I noticed how equally hungry Adam was. But, gazing at his face, I knew he was thinking about something.
It didn’t take long until he finally spoke up. “I know it’s none of my business, but... is it true? What that guy said?”
I froze. “About what?”
“Everything.” Oh, shit.
“Hmm, he said a lot of things...”
“You know he said some pretty nasty stuff about you, kid.” I saw him chewing some French fries, and I did the same, not wanting to answer his question. I didn’t want to tell Adam what had happened between me and Rick... “Is any of it true?”
I bit my lip. Don’t lie, Eva. “Yes.”
“He was the only guy you... had sex with?”
I immediately hurried to bury my face in my hands, so that Adam wouldn’t see how embarrassed I was, and how badly I’d blushed. Nonetheless, I answered him, “Technically... we didn’t have sex.”
I didn’t dare to look at him, but I was sure he looked sort of confused now. “What do mean... technically?”
“Well... we tried to have sex.”
“Tried?” God, this was so uncomfortable... Yes, we’d tried, but I wasn’t able to have sex with him.
“Mind explaining, kid?” He said with that usual exasperated tone. You can be so polite sometimes, I thought sarcastically. Couldn’t he see this specific topic bothered me?
“Well, we couldn’t do anything.”
Impatiently, Adam said, “That’s practically the same thing you said before. You tried, I already know that. You’re repeating yourself too much today, kid.” Maybe it was because I was too embarrassed to give him a truthful answer? Perhaps because I’d feel too uncomfortable trying to explain what had happened between me and Rick?
“It’s awkward and discomforting for me to explain what happened, Adam...” I almost whispered, giving up from hiding my face from him. I could clearly see his confused, yet annoyed expression, now.
“I think I’m kind of getting the picture here.”
“You are?” I asked, hopeful. Maybe I wouldn’t have to explain everything!
“Yes,” He chewed a little more, and then added, “You don’t want to tell me anything.” My shoulders immediately dropped. That was not what I’d thought he’d understood!
“Adam, it’s not that! It’s just... it’s embarrassing!”
“I’m not going to make fun of you, if that’s what you’re thinking, Eva.” I couldn’t help but to think that he seemed a rather interested in my sex life. “You know you can trust me. If I wanted to tease you, I’d have already taken advantage of what that asshole said about you.”
You know he’s right, I said to myself. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Everyone in my hometown knew what had happened between me and Rick. Telling Adam wouldn’t make any difference, right? The only thing that could go wrong was if he actually started laughing and mocking me, something he promised he wouldn’t do.
“Ok, I’m going to tell you, then.” I said, decided. This wasn’t even the right place to have that sort of conversation, but what the hell. “I was going out with Rick for like... five months. I’d been the first girl he’d dated that long. I was - and still am, I think - a virgin, while he wasn’t. He’d been trying to convince me to have sex with him during those months, but I was just too innocent to just... let him have me so early.”
“As a guy...” Adam started, in a very serious way. “...I wouldn’t wait five months.” At least Adam admitted it. No one’s perfect, Eva.
I ignored his remark, and continued, “I decided I’d have sex with him, after the most romantic dinner I’d ever had with a guy.”
Adam smirked, interrupting me, “The typical move.”
“Yeah, well... I was too dumb to fall for it.” Unfortunately. Rick had said the right words, and just like in movies and books, I fell for the whole bullshit. “We went to his place and... well, he started to make a move on me, kissing me, touching me... Taking his clothes off, taking mine...”
“Hold on,” Adam cut in, somewhat shaking his head with narrowed eyes. “Answer me honestly, Eva. Did you really want to have sex with him?”
That was a question I’d only answered to myself a few weeks later after what had happened. “I didn’t know! I was confused! But after what happened, I... I realized I didn’t want to do anything with him. I wasn’t ready for it!”
“Then you were just plain stupid, Eva.” Adam said in a forthright - and annoyed - way.
I just rolled my eyes. “Didn’t you want to know what happened? Stop interrupting me, then!” I shut up for some seconds, to see if Adam would say something else. He didn’t, so I kept going. “So, after we just lay naked there, Rick was responsible enough to put on a condom. While he did it, I noticed how bad I was shaking. Then, he turned around and positioned himself over me... Afterwards...” In that moment, I just trailed off. Now, it was just too hard.
“Afterwards...? What happened?” Adam asked, eager to know.
“Well, he... he tried to...” Oh god, I felt myself blushing hard again. This was such an embarrassing thing to tell Adam... “You know, he tried to...” Avoiding his gaze, I gestured what Rick had tried to do, with my own fingers.
“Oh.” Adam suddenly said, finally realizing what I was trying to explain, and what Rick had meant with everything he’d said. Now, I really didn’t have the courage to look at him. Once more, I buried my face in my hands.
“I just... I don’t know why we couldn’t do it! You... you can’t possible imagine how... stupid I felt. I mean, I must’ve been the only girl that couldn’t have sex!”
“Well, he must have a big-”
“I don’t know.” I cut him off quickly. “I didn’t even look at it.”
“Still... that wouldn’t be enough for him to not be able to penetrate you.” Even the word penetrate embarrassed me. God, how idiot I felt. “You know, I think I have the explanation for that, anyway.”
“You have?” I controlled the urge to look at him. I still didn’t want to face Adam.
“I’m a doctor, but this probably has to do with the psychological department, even though it’s common knowledge, I think. You really want to know why you couldn’t have sex with him, kid?” I just moaned, thinking about what answer Adam had come up with. “When girls are too nervous about their first time, or don’t even want to do it - which was probably your case - the vagina simply won’t let the man’s penis penetrate, unless he forces it too much, though that would be considered a rape. Anyway, the fact that you unconsciously didn’t want to have sex, left your body... how should I say it... unable, incapable? Hum, not ready to have sex, just like you felt at the time. It’s easier to say it like this - your body also didn’t want to have sex. Get it?”
In that moment, I was just... stunned. I’d lifted my head, at last, and was gazing into Adam’s icy blue eyes. “Are you serious? Is that possible?”
“Yes, it is, kid. But, as I said, this issue has more to do with the psychological department, as in, emotional problems. Like I said, you didn’t know at that time if you really wanted to do it, but unconsciously, you didn’t want to have sex with him, and your body only accepted that command.”
I was still too astonished with Adam’s answer. “So... that’s it? I couldn’t have sex with him, because I unconsciously didn’t want it?”
“That’s the explanation, kid.”
Somehow, I didn’t feel as guilty as I’d felt when it happened. All thanks to Adam. “I thought I had a problem... Rick mocked me for weeks! Months! All because I simply didn’t want to do it?” To be honest, I was ecstatic with such a discovery. I didn’t have any problem! Rick just wasn’t the right guy for my first time!
“That was why you swore you’d never get a boyfriend, ever again?” Adam suddenly asked, catching me off guard.
“W-what?” I asked, choking on what I was chewing.
“You heard me. I didn’t forget anything that asshole said about you. In fact, he annoyed me so much that... you know.” Damn. Had Adam really memorized everything Rick had said?
“Well, yeah, I admit it, I swore I’d never allow myself to fall for another guy. Not after what happened. Can you imagine what it feels like to walk in school, and have everyone laughing and pointing at you, knowing what happened a few nights before? Can you imagine what it feels like to have your trust broken?”
Adam just stared back at me. Like always, maybe I’d gone too far. The only words that came out of his mouth were said frigidly, “No, I don’t.”
I shook my head, and said, “I’m sorry.”
“You apologize too many times, kid. It’s ok. We all have our moments.” After he said that, Adam ate what was left of his dinner.
“I think you never had moments like mines.”
“You don’t know me, so you don’t know.” He replied in a very chilly way.
I smirked, trying to ease the tension, “I’m sure you never had teenage dramas in your life.”
“Thank god.” Lucky dog.
“But... Did you ever have any other drama?” Oh well, I’d opened myself to him, so I guess he could do the same and let me know him better. Like he’d said, I didn’t know him.
Adam didn’t say anything, like I expected him to say. Instead, I saw him reaching for his wallet. I thought he’d pay for the dinner already, but I was wrong. I noticed him taking something out of it, and when he lay on the table, I realized what it was - a photo.
I didn’t dare to touch it. Only when I looked up at Adam and he jerked his head towards the photo was when I knew he’d given me permission to see it. I grabbed it and looked at it.
The picture was old, but the woman in it wasn’t. In fact, she looked really pretty, and had the happiest smile on her face. Her eyes were this blue-gray, and her skin was just a little bit brighter than mine, and darker than Adam’s. The picture only showed her head and torso, but I could see she had a tempting hourglass figure. We actually had something in common. The same wild hair - curly and long. The only difference was that hers was this chocolate brown color. At first, I thought she could an ex-girlfriend, but the picture looked too old.
“Who is she? She’s beautiful.”
“She’s my drama, kid.” I raised my eyebrow in a clear sign of confusion, as I stared back at Adam again. His drama? “She was my mother. The only person I wished to have known and the only person I know nothing about, other than her name, Allison.”
“You only know her name?” I asked, surprised, as I handed him the picture. This was the first time I could honestly say I was in a better situation than Adam. At least I knew tons of stuff about my father, since my mother spent hours talking about him. In a way, I’d known everything about him - and my mother.
“Yeah, well, my father doesn’t say a word about my mother and I don’t know why.” All of a sudden, Adam’s eyes darkened. “I understand he doesn’t want to talk about her. Maybe he still likes her, even though she’s died and he’s married to Gabi, but... she was my mother. I think I have the right to know something about her, other than her name.”
Adam didn’t say anything else about that issue. He really looked upset. Anyway, I was happy he’d shared that with me. He hadn’t said much, but it was something! I felt sorry for him, frankly. If my mother hid everything about my father from me, I think... I’d just be as angry at her as Adam was at his father.
Finally, minutes later, I finished eating, and we got up to pay. Worthless to say Adam paid for everything. We then walked up to his car, and as soon as we got in and Adam started the engine, he drove towards his house, though he drove at a low speed, like if he didn’t want to get there already. We didn’t talk much on our way back. We were both quiet and silent, probably thinking about everything we’d talk about.
I had to admit that, after talking to Adam, I felt much calmer. Much, much calmer, though that feeling about liking Adam... didn’t go away, like I thought it would. And while I was talking with Adam... I didn’t want it to fade away. But I wouldn’t let Adam worry about that. I didn’t want him to let me go.
“We’re almost arriving, kid.” Adam said, pulling me back to reality. I looked down at my watch and saw it was already midnight.
“Unfortunately,” I muttered as I leaned my head back on the comfortable seat. “I don’t feel like getting back to work...”
“Relax, kid. You’ll have another day off.”
“Yeah, right... In a week! That’s too long!” I rolled my eyes, too bored now. “It sucks to work as a maid.”
“I bet it does. Anyway, you know we can’t enter at the same time, so I was thinking you could go first, and I’d go last.” Adam told me. I just nodded. I didn’t want to be caught, so that was ok. Besides, I wanted to go to bed straight away. I felt exhausted.
“I guess we won’t talk much from now on.” I caught myself saying after a few seconds in silence.
Adam turned his head at me straight away. “Why do you say that?”
“Well,” I raised my hand, and used my fingers to count the reasons. “You don’t have to help me anymore; I’m not the one who cleans you room any longer; your father will surely be watching us when it comes to me following you to the stable; and... no one is supposed to see us talking. Besides, maybe its better if we... just don’t talk at all for a couple of days.”
“Why do you say that?” Adam questioned me again, shooting me deadly glances.
I avoided his glacial glares. “You know why, Adam...” His kiss was suddenly on my mind, again.
“That’s just stupid, Eva. Even if you did really like me, you think you’d just stop liking me if you stopped seeing me? You’re really a kid.” Adam smirked, and I just narrowed my eyes, looking at him in an annoyed way. “I understand your position, Eva, but you don’t like me. You just... you’re confused, that’s all.”
I hoped I was just confused regarding that feeling... I didn’t want to risk anything. “If you say so...” I bit my lower lip. Still, I added, “I’m sure your father will be watching us.”
“You’re right about that.” Adam said, pausing. He looked like if he was trying to think of something to do. “Well, why don’t you show up on the stable next week? Saturday? I’m sure my father won’t stay up till 3 AM forever, so...”
I still didn’t feel very safe regarding Adam’s plan, but if Adam was so sure about it... Well, he was older than me. He knew how to resolve things. I trusted him already, actually. And yes, I truly believed - or wanted to believe - that what I was feeling was just... something called friendship. “Ok, then.”
We arrived at his mansion ten minutes later. Adam didn’t get in the property because we were supposed to not enter at the same time, so I had to say goodbye to him inside the car.
I didn’t know what to say, now. The only thing that came out were just some words. “Thanks for going with me, again.”
I shifted position so that I didn’t need to turn my head to look at him. I watched him smiling in a tender way while he said, “I’m glad I went, too. I think that if I hadn’t gone, and you had still seen that asshole, he’d just keep mocking you, and you wouldn’t say a damn thing in your defense. In fact, that was what you were doing when I appeared - you were just letting that guy tease you, not doing anything about it.”
“Rick always knew what to say to keep me hushed.” I let my head fall, though I continued, “I don’t have the courage to say something back at him. He’ll just be worse.”
“Eva,” Adam said my name with a sharp tone, at the same time his fingers touched my chin and obliged me to lift my head. “It really wasn’t your fault. I’m sure that if the guy had been much nicer to you during those five months you dated him, you would have felt comfortable in having sex with him. You don’t have any problems, kid... It was his fault, for making you feel so uncomfortable.”
God, Adam could be so... kind. “I appreciate what you’re saying, Adam.” I said, as I closed my eyes and felt his hand sliding down to my shoulder, then my arm... He already knew I simply adored that. “You don’t want me to fall asleep right here, do you?”
His hand dropped straight away. “No, I don’t.”
“Good. Now, have a goodnight, Adam.”
After I said that, I turned to leave the car, but before I could, Adam grabbed my arm. I turned my head and heard him saying, “Try not to think about the kiss, ok, kid?”
“Oh...” I’d been a little caught by surprise with that. But I understood him. “Hum, sure, don’t worry.”
Then, he let go of my arm, and I was free to leave, again. “Sleep tight, kid.”
Afterwards, I got out of his car, and walked a little in order to reach the property’s entry, since Adam had parked the car a few feet before the entrance so that no one would see us coming in together. I had to yell at Simon to open the gate, given that he looked as if he was sleeping, and didn’t become aware I was there to get in.
With Simon behind me now, all I had to go through were the other maids that were still up. Seeing that it was midnight, only a few were probably up.
My aunt was one of them, along with Glenda and Rita. I came across them all when I went to the kitchen. “Hello,” I said, leaning on the door frame. “How was your day, aunt?”
“Normal,” She shrugged, “And yours?”
“Hum, fine.” I replied. It would have been perfect, if we hadn’t gone to the park or if Rick hadn’t appeared... to provoke me and Adam. Thus, the kiss wouldn’t have happened. “Hum, I’m pretty tired, so I think I’ll be going to bed, ok?”
“Oh, I’ll go with you.” My aunt said, hurrying up to reach me, although she still looked back at Glenda and Rita. “Have a good night!” Then, we both left the kitchen, and walked towards the staircases.
“Did you have fun with your friends?” My aunt suddenly asked, breaking the silence.
“Yup. Too bad I just have one day per week to see them...” I commented, sadly.
“Well, you’ll get used to it. It’s a maid’s life.” And out of the blue, she drastically changed the topic of the conversation, “So, Adam didn’t spend his day here, either.”
I immediately looked at her, with a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, I was just commenting.” She said, a phony smile crossing her lips. When we reached the staircases, she added, “He practically left the house at the same time you did... You could have seen him while you were waiting for the cab.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t.” I looked sideways at her, now. “Besides, if I’d seen him, would it make any difference?”
“Yes, you could have spoken to him and he could have told you where he was heading for.” Why was she saying all of that? Was my aunt this suspicious of me and Adam? “Not to mention Rachel came here around dinner time, to see if he was here because he wasn’t picking any of her phone calls.”
Phone calls? I hadn’t seen Adam touch his cell once. “I don’t know where he went, or where he is. It’s none of my business, right? I’m just a maid.”
“Right.” At last, we reached the floor where her room was. “Well, have a good night, niece.”
“You too, aunt.” And then, I raced upstairs, while wondering why my aunt was that suspicious. I mean, we’d been careful. I hadn’t let Simon see I’d left - and arrived - with Adam.
Finally, I reached my room and got in. I threw the purse at the floor, threw my flip flops against the door, and took off my yellow summer dress as I made my way into the bathroom. There, I washed my face and brushed my teeth before going straight to bed, wearing just my underwear.
I once again felt dropped dead tired, even if I’d slept the entire night, yesterday. When I lay down, I thanked god my bed was cool. It was a sizzling night, again. Oh well, it was summer, wasn’t it?
As soon as my eyes shut, the only thing I pictured straight away was Adam. Adam... and his kiss. However, I tried not to think about the issue related with that stupid feeling, since that would surely make me stay up all night, reflecting about it.
I shifted position in my bed, and looked through my glass door, which allowed me to have a glamorous view of the night sky.
I smiled to myself. Despite all of the problems that had happened today... I’d enjoyed it. I’d liked the parts of the day when Adam and I just talked and looked at each other... Played with each other...
I sighed. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about this. However, it was stronger than me. Oh well, I didn’t care. I knew I’d think about this until I’d finally fall asleep.
With that thought on my mind, I allowed myself to picture the kiss Adam had given me. Although I should, that kiss was something I surely wouldn’t forget.