Welcome To Heartbreak

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Chapter 14

Today, it was Friday. My day off.

The last three days had gone by pretty fast, but it had still made me long for this day, a lot. I wanted a break from this house and the work, really. I was sick of being looked at in a weird, suspicious way from my aunt, Glenda, Becca, Linda, Rita, and Alexis. Oh yes, Alexis. She’d come to visit Adam two days in a row and she’d always looked at me in that way, though with her amused smile on her lips. Then, the only angry look I received was from Rachel. She didn’t know anything about Adam and I, but she probably isn’t over the fact that Adam had apologized to me other than to her parents.

As for Brad... I’d only seen him during breakfast, lunches and dinner, when Glenda would tell me to serve them. Besides that, my eyes wouldn’t see him anywhere else. Not that I even wanted. I couldn’t possible forget he’d tried... What made me feel secure about Brad not daring to touch me, anymore, was the fact that Adam had been with me every night, only going to his room around 6 AM. That, and the fact that Adam’s threat had been efficient, since so far I hadn’t heard anything about Brad revealing something about me or his brother to his father.

Anyway, I was starting to think Adam liked taking care of me, really. He made feel like the kid he said I was, honestly.

Oh well, being my day off, I could stay in bed until lunch or even later, which was exactly what I did. I was now getting up, and it was 2 PM. It felt so damned good to sleep in, like I always did in summer, before my mother had passed away.

I shook those sad thoughts off my mind and started getting ready... to go shopping with Adam. Oh yes, I’d been waiting for this day the whole week! I mean, we were going to spend the afternoon without anyone bothering us and without worrying about someone else catching us together, because there wouldn’t be anyone that knew Adam in the shopping mall from my town!

I put on the same yellow dress I’d worn once, with Adam, and chose the same flip flops I’d also worn with that yellow dress. I was going to shop, so wearing heels wouldn’t be comfortable, not to mention the ones I owned were getting too worn out. My hair had its turn after my clothes, and I combed it the best I could. Next, I washed my face, brushed my teeth and applied some eyeliner on my eyes. I seldom applied any makeup, but I felt good and perky enough for it, today.

Afterwards, I grabbed my purse and got out of my room. The first thing I did was to dash for the kitchen and prepare myself a sandwich. Nobody was there, so I was glad I quickly prepared the sandwich and set off to the gate, where Adam said he’d be around half past 2 PM, which was now.

This time, it wasn’t Simon who was at the gate, but a guy I’d never seen. Oh well, I didn’t care. He’d open the gate, right? That was all that mattered. So, as soon as I walked through the gate and looked at my right side, there was Adam in his red Porsche. I ran towards it and the moment I opened the door and got in, I said cheerfully, “Hi, Adam!”

It was then when I noticed he was on the phone. I bit my lip the moment he looked at me and froze me with his icy stare. “It’s no one, baby, just someone that passed by.”

I tried to close the door silently as Adam talked to Rachel. “Yes, of course you and your parents are invited. My dad told you that when you came here last time. It’s going to be a huge party, as always...” By Adam’s tone, I think he hated huge parties. “Yeah, it’s formal. I don’t know, baby, I like everything you wear, really. Look, I have to go, ok? I’ll call you later. Yeah, I’m going out with Alexis. Bye, baby. Yeah, love you, too.” At last, he hung up.

“I’m Alexis, hum?” I said, turning at him. He didn’t answer; instead he just stared at me in an intense way. “What?”

“Did you do something to your eyes?”

“Oh, yeah, I applied some eyeliner, why? I’m a girl, too, you know.” I suddenly started excusing myself, afraid Adam would reject me this way. “Girls can apply makeup-”

“Calm down, kid.” He smiled in his caring way, “It’s good on you. Your eyes stand out, but with that thing, they just... pop out of your face. I think I’m going to see a lot of guys looking at you, I’m sure.” And then looked down at my dress, especially at the cleavage, which wasn’t that low.

“Please, Adam.” I said, flattered. “I’m not Rachel.”

“But you’re you. And you’re beautiful.” Adam told me, starting the car at the same time. Hum, I think he’d never said I was beautiful, before.

“Thanks.”

“Are we going to have dinner there?” Adam asked, as soon as he started driving, “We ought to arrive there around 5 PM, and since you’re a girl, I bet you’re going to shop for hours.”

“I’m not addicted to shopping!” I replied with a frown.

“You’re a girl.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to spend hours shopping.” I defended myself, “Besides, that’s a stereotype, you know. Not all girls are addicted to shopping or spending hours shopping. My friend Jamie is a good example of that. She actually hates shopping. My friend and I have to force her to shop when she needs; otherwise she seldom does it by herself!”

“Whatever, kid.”

The talk about shopping ended there and we actually didn’t talk for a while. I just looked through Adam’s side window and thought about random things. But then, one thing occurred to me, and it was about what my aunt had told me about Adam, yesterday.

My dark blue eyes gazed at him. I was starting to realize he seriously had some control issues, but heartless? Dangerous? Yeah, I believed he could be dangerous to the point of threatening his own brother to go to jail, but... he didn’t seem as heartless and cold as Mr. Cooper was.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.” I heard Adam, pulling me from my thoughts. “You’re thinking about me?”

Without thinking, I asked, “Do you really have control issues, Adam?”

It took him some moments to answer. But, knowing how difficult the question probably could be to him, if he actually had control issues, I waited patiently. His eyes remained on the road and not once he looked at me when he replied, “Yeah, I do have.”

“Did you have them your whole life?”

“Yeah.”

“How bad is it?”

“It’s not bad. I’m used to it now, so I know how to control myself, though sometimes it’s hard.” He paused for some time, but continued, “Remember when I caught Brad in your room? Well, I found it hard to get a hold of myself. You even asked if I was ok, because I was shaking.” Oh yes, I remembered that. He’d told me he was trying to control himself when I’d asked if he was ok.

“Yeah, I remember. What happens when... you can’t control yourself?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Of course I wanted to know. Otherwise I wouldn’t be asking it, Adam, I thought for myself. “Yeah, I want.”

“Well, whoever made get that angry will surely go to the hospital unless someone stops me in time.”

My jaw dropped. “Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe Adam was being this honest with me, now. He barely spoke to me about his life and his relationships with anyone!

“I hate it, but it’s the truth.” I think that, this time, Adam was glad he couldn’t look at me.

“So my aunt was right.” I thought out loud. “You are dangerous.”

“Deena told you that?” He asked me, and I nodded. “Whatever she said, it’s all true. I know her since I remember having memories. Besides, she knows everything about me and I trust as if she was my own mother.” Wow, I didn’t know Adam was that fond of my aunt.

“Well, she said you’re cold, heartless, dangerous...”

“I am all of it, yes.” He agreed, sadly and tiredly. “I didn’t choose to be like this, kid, really. I just... can’t control myself, sometimes. When I was in high school, I had a therapist and I had to take medications. I still take them, to be honest with you, but not as often as before. Just when I’m more tense and capable of having those stupid fury attacks.”

“Still, I can’t imagine you being as heartless as my aunt told me you were. I know you’re cold - you were cold to me on my first days here,” I said with a faint smile, “But I think I just noticed how dangerous you can be after you caught your brother on my room, and still-”

“You have no idea of the effort I made to control myself, because of what my brother tried to do to you. I hated what he had tried to do, but the thought of hurting my own bother... It disgusted me. I hate myself for that.” Adam admitted.

“Yeah, but... heartless?” I said, trying to push him away from his brother issue.

“I am heartless, kid. I don’t give a shit about anyone that isn’t close to me. I don’t pity anyone I don’t know. The only ones that matter to me are those who are important. You, for example.” And for seconds, Adam looked at me with a gentle smile. “You’re important to me, now. If you’d acted like any other maid and not yourself, I think you would’ve never have me interested in you. But, no, you acted like you, we were always in my way, regardless of not being your fault most of the time. I... I don’t know, kid. You got me.”

Sadly, I added to his words, “But I don’t have you.” It was true. I didn’t have him, Rachel did. She was the lucky woman who had the perfect man in her life. I didn’t care about his problems. I didn’t care if he was cold, heartless, and possibly dangerous. I’d still give anything to be in Rachel’s place.

Adam didn’t say anything in response to what I’d said. I didn’t expect him to. What would he say? Would he just agree with me, in the same sad way I’d said such thing? If we were talking about me, yes, he had me. I wanted him to have me, but... it was impossible. The only one he should have was Rachel...

We spent another half an hour without saying a word to each other, and when we were close to my hometown, we started talking about random things. During that time, we arrived at the shopping mall, which was located on the south part of my town.

After Adam parked his red Porsche, we got out of it and walked up to the entrance of the mall. The moment we got in, I said, “Ok, so if you’re going to open your mouth any time just to complain about me taking too long, don’t even open it, understood?”

“No need to worry, kid.” Adam smiled, placing his arm over my shoulders, like the protective boyfriend he wasn’t allowed to be. “I’ll just open my mouth to say something about anything you chose to wear, if you want, of course.”

“If it’s for that, yes, you can open your mouth.” I smiled at the sound of Adam’s perky laugh. “And since we’re already talking about clothes, I think I’m going to buy two or three summer dresses.” I just loved summer dresses. They were fresh, light and I could wear them to numerous occasions.

“Like the one you’re wearing now?” Adam asked, looking down at me.

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing, I was just asking. It’s good on you, though it attracts looks I don’t like.” He disclosed when we stopped at a store and walked in.

“Maybe one of them can be the love of my life!” I joked, when I started looking at the clothes. “I mean, everything starts when two persons look at each other, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

“I bet you couldn’t take your eyes off Rachel the first time you saw her.” I bet any guy wouldn’t take his eyes off Rachel. I mean, she was truly beautiful; I had to give her that. “I’m also sure you have to deal with your control issues when you see a guy staring at Rachel in that hungry way.”

“No, I don’t deal with it. First of all, I know Rachel doesn’t give a damn about those looks; secondly, she knows about my problems, so if they abuse, she tries to avoid any problems by avoiding them or pushing them away before I do it.” Well, I guess that told me how much of a territorial guy Adam was. I liked knowing that, even if he didn’t act like that with me, seeing that I wasn’t Rachel.

The moment I grabbed a white summer dress, Adam placed his hand over mine, and shook his head. “Nah, go for the black. White is too much of a cliché on girls like you.” He surprised me with such comment, but he was right, I guess. Tanned girls always wore white tops or dresses. It was too normal, now.

Going for Adam’s advice, I traded the white dress for a black one. I kept walking throughout the dresses section and actually picked one more - a dark pink one. I hated light pink. It was so freaking... girly. Still, on my way to try out the dresses, I looked for tops, jeans and other stuff, but I didn’t find anything I liked.

When I got there, Adam stayed outside and not once complained. However, he did say, “Come out when you’re ready. I want to see if it’s good on you.”

I didn’t reply and exchanged the dress I was wearing for the black one. Then, I pushed the curtains aside and stepped out. Adam stared at me for a while, and then said slowly, “Isn’t it too tight or something? Your breasts are practically begging to pop out of the dress.” Well, he was right. It was a low cleavage and because the size I’d chosen didn’t fit me, my breasts were just the way Adam had said.

“Yeah, it is... Well, I like it, anyway, so can you get another size for me, while I trade into the one I picked?”

“Sure, kid.” I came back inside the cubicle, and while Adam went to fetch for the other size, I changed into the dark pink dress. Now this one was perfect, I guess. Or so the mirror told me. But I knew I had to go through Adam’s evaluation. I knew he’d like this one. It was some inches above the knee, but not something too short. The neckline was like the black one, but since it was the right size, my breasts didn’t look they were about to pop out.

Adam was already there with the black dress when I came out, again. He smiled at me. “That’s just perfect, kid.”

I grinned, “You like it?”

“Of course. It’s perfect on you.”

“Thanks.” I said, tossing my curly black hair back. “Well, I’m going to change so that we can go and pay for everything.” Smiling, I turned around and walked back to cubicle.

I changed in less than minute, and when I got out, Adam and I went to pay for everything. Since it was the end of the month and the day, both the shop and the mall were full, which slowed us down a little, especially when it came to pay for the dresses.

Afterwards, I spent the whole time on other stores, trying out every type of clothes I liked. Adam was really cool, actually. On one hand, he’d just stay silent and let me choose whatever I wanted to try out, but on the other hand, he’d talk to me, give me his opinion about what I’d chosen or just when I asked for it. He was patient with me every time I was in the little fitting room, looking at myself through the mirror, deciding whether I should buy - or not - what I was trying at the time.

For me, time seemed to fly. I was too busy choosing and trying clothes and, sometimes, just by talking to Adam while we walked around the mall, hunting for another store. It was almost 9 PM when I walked in yet another store, looking for a pair of jeans. I’d already bought three dresses, two new pajamas, two pair of heels, a couple of halter tops, one dark pink bikini - though I didn’t know when I’d go to the beach - another pair of flip flops and two jeans. I intended to buy one more, but I didn’t find any that pleased me. At any rate, I was happy. I still had money to spend. Working for the Coppers really paid off at the end of the month, I guess.

“You know what you should really buy?” Adam suddenly spoke. He’d been quiet for the last half an hour, and he was probable tired of walking throughout mall, over and over again.

“What?” I asked, though my attention was on the jeans ahead of me.

“A TV.”

I looked at him through narrowed eyes, “What? Why?”

“Because when I’m in your bed with you, it’s hard not to fall asleep, so having a TV would be great.” He explained, “I’m like those people who actually take some time to sleep, but, with you, I easily give in to exhaustion while doing those things you like. Not to mention, I never ever remember to set the alarm clock.”

The only thing I said after his explanation was, “You intend to be with me, on my bed, every night?”

“No, but-”

“Then why would I buy a TV?”

“I’ve explained, you-”

“Adam,” I cut him off, focusing my attention on him. “I don’t watch TV. That would be a waste of money. It would be a whole different thing if you wanted to be with me at night, but since you don’t, I’m not going to buy a TV. If you want it that bad, you buy it.” For god’s sake, I’d never spend my money on something I knew I’d never use!

I thought the conversation was finished for now, but Adam then asked, “You want me to spend your nights with you?”

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide the pain. “Do you even need me to answer that question?”

He smirked, and that somehow eased the pressure and the sudden pain. “You really like me, don’t you?”

My eyebrow cocked up. Why was he even asking me these questions? “Ok, so... are you that bored?”

“No, I’m not.” He said, approaching me just the enough to feel his breath on my nose and lips. “I’m just realizing that you’re really starting to like me.”

“And you think that’s a good thing?” It wasn’t a good thing. It was a very bad thing for me and him. I mean, I liked my boss and thanks to that, I could get us both into trouble!

His smile vanished and in his face was this sad expression. “No, it isn’t, unfortunately.”

I quickly turned my back on him before the conversation could move on to something I didn’t want to discuss with Adam. He knew I liked him, he knew he felt something for me, and so there was no need to talk about it. In fact, the less we talked about it, the better. Maybe we’d forgotten everything at some point and we’d just become friends, something I thought impossible. I couldn’t be friends with Adam... I liked him! I wanted him, but I couldn’t have him, because, besides the fact that he loved his girlfriend, his father would never let him have a girl like me, I was sure of it.

Out of the blue, I changed the conversation. “Do you think I should try these jeans?” I grabbed them and showed them to Adam.

“If you like them, why not?” He wasn’t even looking at me, now.

“Well, this is the only size there is, and... I’m not sure I fit into this.”

“There’s nothing better than to try them on.” In other words - just go to damned fitting room! I didn’t say a word when I spun over my heels and set off searching for them. Adam didn’t say a word and followed me, silently. When we found them, I left all of my bags with Adam and stepped into the fitting room.

I took off the dress and flip flops, and then slipped my legs in the jeans. At first, everything was ok, but when the jeans reached my thighs, I found it really hard to pull them up. So, after doing a lot of effort, I managed to adjust them. I didn’t even need to look in the mirror to see how tight they were; I bet I couldn’t even button them. And I was right when I tried so.

In that exact moment, I heard Adam outside, “So, how are they?”

“I’m not going to buy them.” I answered, sadly. I’d really liked those jeans. I knew they wouldn’t fit me, but when I saw them I just had to try!

“Why not?”

“They don’t fit me, Adam. They’re like... super tight.” This time, I didn’t even go outside to show them to Adam. Everyone would be able to see my underwear, given that I hadn’t been able to button the damned jeans.

Unfortunately, as I started to take them off, I noticed they simply wouldn’t come down. Seriously, that really couldn’t be happening to me.

“Adam?” I cried out.

“Yeah?”

“I need you to come here.” I replied, embarrassed. Seconds later, not even asking why, Adam carefully pushed the curtains aside just the enough to slip inside the cubicle. Next, he looked at my naked torso, and then, at my eyes, wondering what was wrong. “I can’t take off the jeans.”

He immediately smirked. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not! I whined. “I should’ve just let them go the moment I found them hard to pull up! Or even when I knew this size was too small!”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to help me, of course!”

“How?” He chuckled, trying to control the laughter, but failing at it.

“Well, just pull them down, because I can’t!” God, why did this have to happen to me? Right on this day, when I was shopping with Adam?

“Ok, but calm down, ok? And don’t move!” Adam approached me and knelt on the floor. He was so tall that his head almost reached my breasts. “I’m going to pull this down straight away, so stay still, Eva.” I liked when he called me kid - I was used to it, but when he said my name... I love it, really. His deep, cultured voice was just perfect when saying my name.

He grabbed the jeans, accidently touched my hips. For moments, I felt his warm touch, but I totally forgot about it once Adam unexpectedly pulled down the jeans, making me fall over him. “I told you not to move, kid!”

“I’m sorry!” I said, still over his shoulders and head. “I wasn’t expecting you’d use that much amount of strength!” I whined. Adam placed his hands on my waistline and carefully moved me to my original position, though he didn’t take them off me. He looked frozen in time.

“Adam...” His name came out as a whisper, “You’re supposed to be helping me with the jeans...”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized right away, like if he’d been pulled out of dreamland. “Ok, so I’m going to pull them down with the same strength. Try not to fall over me, again. As much as I like feeling your body close to mine, I really don’t want it, now.” I actually blushed when he said, but I soon focused on what he’d said before that. I prepared, waited, and almost didn’t move when Adam finally pulled down the jeans for the second time, succeeding on his mission. My thighs were finally free, again.

“Thank you so much, Adam...” I said as he got up and I took off those annoying jeans. Adam said nothing. He’d seen me plenty of times in just my underwear. Why staring now? I looked up at his icy blue eyes and asked, “What?

“Nothing...” I saw him shaking his head, as if making an effort to look away. Maybe he was. “Well, I’ll be waiting outside, and then we’re done, kid. I want to eat.”

“Yeah, me too.” I agreed. After that minor problem with the jeans, I was officially done with the shopping. It took me only a moment to put on my dress again, and get out of the story with Adam carrying my bags like the gentleman I knew he was, despite all of his problems.

Now that we were officially done with the shopping, Adam and I finally went to have dinner. Since we were both really hungry, we barely spoke throughout the dinner. After it, we calmly walked out of the shopping mall and towards the car. While Adam put all of my bags in the back of his car, I got in. Moments later, Adam joined me.

When he started the car, I had to say, “Thanks for coming with me, Adam. I had a good time.” I really had.

He looked at me for some seconds before replying. “Me too, kid. I always have a good time with you.” Then, his eyes were back on the road. I was glad to know that, really. I enjoyed every second I spent with me and the thought of knowing that he felt the same... I irrationally smiled at myself.

We didn’t talk as Adam drove around town. He had his eyes on the road, and I had mine on the streets that just passed by us too fast. But, unexpectedly, when I sighted my friend Jamie and the others, I couldn’t help but to yell, “Stop, Adam! Jamie’s right there with Chris!”

“Calm down, kid!” It was when he complained that I realized I was poking his arm. “I’ll park right now, but you have to stop punching me! I’m still driving!”

I immediately stopped hitting him and silently - and anxiously - watched Adam parking his car on the sidewalk. He hadn’t even killed the engine when I just opened the door and yelled, “Jamie!”

Although I’d just called Jamie, Chris also turned around. The moment they recognized me, they turned around and ran towards me, hugging me straight away. “Eva! I didn’t expect to see you here! It’s your day off? Why didn’t you call us or something?” Chris started questioning me.

“I’m sorry,” I started, looking at Jamie. “It’s just that I decided to spend the day shopping with-”

“Me.” Adam cut in, appearing behind me. As soon as Chris saw him, his eyes lit up. He really thought he had a chance with Adam. I laughed at that thought. Chris and Jamie knew everything that was going on between me and Adam, so he wouldn’t try to make a move on Adam, of course. Besides, even if he tried, he wouldn’t get anything, because Adam was straight. “How are you, guys?”

“Fine.” Both replied at the same, but Chris continued. “And you? We haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Yeah, well...” Adam drew closer and placed his arm over my shoulders. “I’m here, now.”

Jamie glanced at me, and I instantly knew it had something to do with the way Adam was acting towards me. “Where’s Lucy?” I asked, hoping they’d stop focusing on Adam’s minor move.

“Oh, we were going to rendezvous with her and some of our friend at a bar. What about you?” Chris asked, “Where are you going?”

“Adam and I were heading home.” I replied, at the same time I slid my arm under Adam’s and wrapped it around his back.

“Why won’t you join us?” Jamie suddenly asked, grinning. “We haven’t gone out in such a long time, Eva!”

“Oh, I... I don’t know.” My eyes jumped from Jamie to Adam. “I rely on Adam to go home, so... It’s up to him. Besides, I’m not properly dressed to go to a bar. I’m wearing flip flops, Jamie, and in a club, that’s bad painful.” What if some girl would step on my foot with her heel? Ouch!

Adam’s answer surprised me. “I see a lot of girls with dresses like yours in clubs, kid. Anyway, didn’t you buy heels? I’m sure one goes together with the dress.”

My black eyebrow cocked up, “You want to go out?”

“Why not?” He shrugged both shoulders. “I didn’t say I was tired when I said we were done with the shopping. I just said I was hungry. We can have some fun, kid. Come on, let’s go to the car so that you can trade into some heels.” It was too late to say anything at all to any of them, because Adam just forced me to go to his car and slip my feet into one of the heels I’d bought.

When I was ready, Adam told Jamie and Chris, “Come on, I’ll take us to that club. One of you just needs to tell me the way, though.” Jamie and Chris immediately approached us and got in the back of the car. As for Adam, before he went to his side of the car, he whispered on my ear. “If anyone says anything to you while we’re there, just tell me, Eva. The last thing I want is to assist another scene like the one I had to kiss you, ok?”

I didn’t answer. In fact, I pretended I didn’t hear anything and just went back inside the car. Then, I started saying the directions to the club we were going, after Jamie had named it. In fact, it was on the other side of the city. I knew it was still early to go to the club - 10 PM, but it should take us about half an hour to get there, plus the time for Adam to find a parking space. At any rate, the earlier we got there, the easier we’d stay on our favorite place - this corner that had a bar and the exit right next to us and the dance floor right across us.

On our way there and while trying to find a parking space, we talked about random stuff, mainly about things that had happened while I wasn’t here. What surprised me the most was the fact that Jamie had a boyfriend, now. I was happy for her; she deserved to have someone that liked taking care of her. At least one of us was in love with someone that could be with one of us.

Adam parked the car in the back of the club. No one was there, as well as any cars. It was dark and I wouldn’t have the courage to wonder there by myself, but since I wouldn’t come back alone, I was ok with it.

When we walked in the club, we went straight to our spot and sighted Lucy there. As soon as her eyes saw me, she immediately smiled, and thanks to the loud music, she had to yell at me so that I’d hear her. “Eva!”

“Hey, Lucy!” We hugged when she reached me. “How are you?”

“You know I’m always good, and you? Did you come with that boss of yours?” When her eyes looked past me, she sighted Adam right behind, as if he was my bodyguard. “Hello, Adam!”

Adam politely waved at her and smiled nicely. Although his smiles could be interpreted as seductive ones, this one was everything but that. “How are you?”

“Good, of course!” Lucy replied as I saw her pulling a couple of girls I knew from school. “Girls, let me introduce you to Eva’s hot boss, Adam Cooper!” Unconsciously, I stepped aside so that Adam could be the center of attentions. From the little time I talked with Lucy, I knew she was drunk, and it was still so early. I hated when she was like that. I’d never been drunk in my life, but I can’t say the same about Lucy. From the four of us, Lucy was the one who always got drunk.

Since the girls seemed to have pulled Adam to the middle of them, I joined Chris and Jamie. “She couldn’t be any drunker... And it isn’t even 11 PM.”

“You know how Lucy is.” Chris rolled his eyes, annoyed. “When she’s like this, all I want is to get away from her. Poor Adam, in the middle of those beasts. Oh well, I think I’ll go help him getting away from them. I’m probably doing him a favor. And, to you, too, I know it. I can almost hear your bitchy thoughts about those girls.” And off he went.

I smirked, but remained silent. What could I say, anyway? It was true. I hated the way those girls were touching, laughing and talking to Adam, but I also hated the way he seductively smiled at them. At any rate, he wasn’t a playboy like Brad, so I just tried to distract myself by asking Jamie, “Want to dance?”

“Why not?” I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the dance floor, though we didn’t stay too far from the corner. We liked staying close to our spot, because if we were in the middle of the dance floor, it would be harder to come back to our place, thanks to all the people who danced and pushed us aside.

I loved the music from this club, honestly. It was a mix of every type of danceable music. I particularly enjoyed the Spanish songs, because of the seductive rhythm, allowing us to move our body and feel every beat of the track that was playing.

I didn’t know for how much time I danced with Jamie, but I did know I was looking at Adam and Chris the whole time. He’d managed to pull him out of the drunken group and they were now watching us as well, talking between them. As for Lucy, she was some steps away from them, laughing hard as he drunk more and more with the other girls. I hated those intruders in our group. It sucked.

“You know,” Jamie suddenly yelled, after being a while in silence, enjoyed the music just like me. “He can’t take his eyes off you.”

“I can’t take my eyes of him, either.” I answered honestly. With Jamie, I could always say what was on my mind. “He has a girlfriend, Jamie. He has a girlfriend and goes to my bedroom every night, to make sure I’m ok, to cuddle me in bed, to stay with me in bed...”

“He likes you, doesn’t he? Anyone can figure that out.” Frankly, I hoped for the exact opposite. I mean, Mr. Cooper would burn me like a witch in the medieval times if he found out his son liked me.

“I think so. I know he feels something for me, he said it himself, but... it’s hard, Jamie. It’s hard to know that I’ll never have him the way his girlfriend has. We both promised each other we wouldn’t touch one another, but... it’s so hard!” Before I understood what I was doing, I found myself finally lashing out at someone who comprehended me. “He can’t control himself! And then I’m the one who has to make sure he doesn’t cross the line! I can’t always do that! I... I like when he touches me, when he...” I trailed off, imagining all the ways Adam’s hands had stroke me, ever so gently.

“It’s the first time I hear you talking like this about a guy.” Jamie said, sweetly. “Rick didn’t have you the way Adam has. I’m sure you don’t even think about stupid things related to guys when you’re with him.” I nodded. She was right. I didn’t think about anything, but the fact that I was with him at the time. “Still, you should be careful about where you’re getting yourself into, Eva... I mean, he’s still your boss and you’re still his maid. Honestly, if you want my opinion, you should ask him what you mean to him.”

And this was why I loved Jamie. “I know, Jamie, I know...” Now, all of what she’d told me, saddened me.

She must’ve noticed it, because she approached me, friendly elbowing me. “Come on, let’s get back to them. I’m sure he misses you already.” I hoped he did. I hoped he missed me hard for not being with him for almost an hour or so. I’d completely lost track of time while on the dance floor, but Adam didn’t seem bothered at all. I guess Chris was entertaining him well.

“We’re back!” Jamie yelled when we reached them, still dancing to the rhythm of the track that was on, making my hips move all by themselves. I was sweating. I was hot and I’d been dancing. I was also tired. I wasn’t used to being in heels and dancing throughout the entire night, anymore. My life resumed to working for the Coopers and rest, now.

As Jamie started talking to Chris, I kept dancing as my eyes watched Adam looking at me, leaned on the wall, holding a drink on his hand. The way he sensually looked at me... It seemed he was calling me to him. His lips curved in a smile. He wanted to say or do something, I was sure of it. The desire in his eyes told me that.

I smiled back, and drew closer, not stopping my moves. “Bored?” Even though I was wearing heels, I still couldn’t reach his full height.”

“Me? Of course not, kid.” He replied, placing the drink on the floor. “I’d never get bored of watching you dance like that.”

“Like that?” I stepped once more towards him. Our bodies touched.

“Yeah, like that...” He leaned down on me and his forehead and nose touched mine. “Moving your body just like you are now, though you seemed wilder a while ago...” I started feeling his hands on my back, pulling me towards him, the closest he could get to me.

I stopped dancing. We both felt each other’s breaths on our lips. I closed my eyes as Adam leaned down even more, forcing to slightly arch back, offering Adam my naked neck. He lazily caressed me, softly kissed me... Still, despite that we were getting both out of control, again, Jamie’s words hung on my mind.

What did I exactly meant to him? I knew I was his maid, I knew he had a girlfriend, but I also knew I liked him and that he felt something for me. Unfortunately, any of it answered the question. What was I to him? What did I mean? He had me whenever he wanted, yes, but I had the right to have an answer for that question.

I locked his hair on my hands and stopped him from continuing. I gazed into his eyes, not adding any inches to the few that separated our faces. He intoxicated me with the intense way he looked at me, but I was sober enough to ask him the question. “Tell me, Adam. What... what do I mean to you?”

Silence. The world looked as if it’d stopped.

Now, all I could hear was the music in the background. Adam didn’t avoid my eyes, didn’t do anything. I felt my heart and his beating too fast, ready to just explode.

His hands began shaking. To me, that was a clear sign he was out of control, out of his mind. He pulled my hair back, and didn’t let it go. I waited for some wild reaction from him, but the only thing I saw was his face getting rid of the inches that torn our faces apart and avidly kissed me in a way he’d never kissed before.

I didn’t know what to do. All I could think was that I had to kiss him back; I had to let him do what he needed to do. His hands were on my head now, making sure I wouldn’t get away from him, from his kiss... so out of control. Well, I didn’t want to stop him, anyway. Truthfully, that was the last thing on my mind, in that moment.

I felt I had to get the closest I could get to him. I completely glued my body to his, if it was any possible, while enjoying his tongue exploring my mouth, tasting me, as his hands slid down my back and felt the my unusual hot body.

Unexpectedly, Adam stopped kissing me. He was gasping for air, but he managed to speak. “Say goodbye to your friends.”

“What?”

“Say goodbye to your friends, Eva.” Out of the blue, Adam forced me to turn around and look at two suddenly surprised Chris and Jamie. I blushed, knowing they’d witnessed what had just happened between me and Adam.

“I... Adam and I have to go.” I said slowly, already feeling Adam’s hand on my lower back pushing me, yearning to get out of there. “I’ll call you tomorrow!”

“Wait, what? Why? Where are you going?” Jamie started, but it was too late. Adam had already pulled me and I was forced to follow him, or he’d drag me without any problems. I lost Jamie and Chris and all I could see was Adam. I didn’t understand this reaction. What did he want to do? Where was he going?

“Adam!” I called him, but he wouldn’t listen. He went straight to the exit and easily took us out of the club. I immediately noticed the difference in the temperature. Inside was hot, outside was slightly cold.

Now that were in the middle of the street, Adam could perfectly listen to me. However, he didn’t bother to look behind his shoulder as I kept yelling his name. He kept dragging me until we reached the back of the club. Nothing more was there other than Adam’s red Porsche.

I waited for everything but what Adam did. He assertively grabbed me and carefully threw me against his car. “Adam, what-”

I wasn’t able to say anything else, because Adam just crushed my body with his and ravished my mouth with his tongue. His hands wanted more, now. They found a way underneath my dress and pulled it up. After that, one rested on my thigh while the other lifted my leg. Then, without warning, Adam’s necessity was brought to a halt, though by what, I didn’t know. He stopped kissing me, stopped exploring me.

“Adam...” I cried out, whispering. I didn’t know what to expect from him, now. All I knew was that he was too out of control.

“Eva,” He muttered, “Let me have you.”

In that moment, my eyes widened in sheer shock. He couldn’t possibly be asking me to... No, he wasn’t. Stumbling on my own words, I gave him an honest answer, though I knew it wasn’t the one he was looking for. “Y-you already ha-have me, Adam...”

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.” He said in that pleading voice, begging me to give him the answer he wanted. “Let me have you, right here, right now, Eva. Make love to me.”

When he said those last words, I was thunderstruck. Was he... was he serious? Was he asking me to just... lose my virginity with him, in the back of a club, inside his car? “Adam... I...” I didn’t know what to say. What could I say, anyway? Adam was scaring me thanks to the deep way he locked my eyes with his and the strong way he held me in his arms.

“I want you, Eva. I want to have you.” His hands grabbed the flesh in my thighs, and before I knew it, Adam had lifted me up and my legs had automatically wrapped around his waistline. “I won’t hurt you. I’ll be gentle!” Gentle? Now? Adam could be everything but gentle, now. This time, I could notice the difference in his touch. It was needy, urgent and greedy, pleading for something I couldn’t give him.

“Put me down, Adam. Now.”

“Eva...”

“No. I... I don’t want to do this now, Adam. Can’t you see where we are?” I looked around us and Adam did the same. As if conscious had suddenly struck him, Adam slowly let go of me, and my feet finally touched the ground.

“That doesn’t matter.” Oh, he wasn’t going to insist, was he?

“Yes, it does...” I tried to pull him away, but he wouldn’t budge. I was too weak. “Please, Adam. I...” It was my turn to beg.

His hands shook again and I knew he was making a huge effort to control himself. Gradually, Adam stepped away from me, allowing me to finally breathe. He then looked at me with caring blue eyes, and said, “I... I’m sorry, kid, I... I didn’t know what was going through my mind... I’m... I’m sorry.” Oh god, even his voice was slightly shaking, breaking my heart every time he articulated a word.

“It’s ok, Adam, really.” I could only imagine how weak he thought of himself now.

“You were there... moving your body that like that... Then you approached me, provoked me... I’m so sorry, Eva.” He was now pleading for my forgiveness, for having asked such an intimate thing to me. “I-I had no right to ask you something like this.”

I said nothing and stayed put, letting him breath, think and calm down, without hurrying him. The last thing he needed now was to listen to my voice, talking about what I’d done to get him out of control, talking about him having sex with me, making love with me, just like he’d said. Still, how could he ask me something like that? How could he ask me to have my first time, behind a club, in his car? I liked Adam. I really liked him, but... sex? That was the last thing on my mind. Currently, all I wanted was Adam to get a hold of him and take us back home.

I didn’t know how much time it passed while Adam tried to calm down. All I knew was that my feet hurt, and I really, really wanted to go home. I was sat on the floor, leaned on the car, when my eyes started closing and I suddenly heard Adam’s cultured voice, “Kid, get in the car. You’re almost falling asleep.” My eyes suddenly widened when I focused on the man facing me with a faint smile. “Its 1 AM, we should really go back.”

1 AM? Adam had been trying to control himself for an hour?

He stretched out his hand to help me get up. I dared to ask, “Are you... calmer?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m ok, now. I’m sorry for making you stay here for almost an hour. I should’ve just... left you there with your friends when I felt that urge to... to...” He trailed off, and shook his head. I didn’t ask him to continue, so he just went around his car and unlocked it, allowing us both to get in.

“I preferred the way it happened.” I disclosed, not having the guts to look at his icy eyes. “If you’d disappeared without any warning, you’d have ruined my night, because I know I’d be too worried about you. That wouldn’t have been any better.”

Adam didn’t say anything and just started the car. In fact, he didn’t talk to me during our way back home. As for me, I slept from 2 to 3 AM and when I woke up, we were still on the road and Adam still wouldn’t say a word to me. He was focused on the road, but he looked as if he was concentrated on something else. He was probably thinking about what he’d asked me, just like I was. Honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

We arrived at his house soon after 3 AM. Adam drove the car to one of the garages and killed the engine next. Then, we got out and Adam grabbed my bags, wanting to take them up to my bedroom.

His silence was killing me. When he placed down the bags and closed the garage door, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Say something, Adam.”

At first, he just looked at me and said nothing. He slowly walked up to me and when he reached me, he placed both of his hands on my face. His icy blue eyes had me, now. I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move.

At last, he opened his mouth to say something, though I honestly wasn’t waiting for the question that came out. “Answer me, Eva, if we... if we’d been in some other place that wasn’t my house or my car... maybe a hotel or something, I don’t know... would you... would you make love to me?”

“Adam, I-”

“I’m not asking you to actually have sex with me, kid.” He cut in, watching the fear striking my eyes. “I’m just asking if you would-”

“Yes.” I replied, not thinking about it. “If we were in the right place, at the right time, I would, Adam.” I guess it was the plain truth and I couldn’t deny it. Like I said, if in the right place, at the right time, maybe I would have sex with him. Adam was everything I could ever want in a man to be my first... when not out of control.

His next question surprised me, “Why, Eva, why? I have a girlfriend, I’ll possibly ask her to marry me soon, we can never date, we-”

Once more, I answered without thinking. “Because I know you’d never hurt me. Because you’re perfect. I know you’d want to do it because you like me and not because I’m some girl willing to have sex with you.” I believed in all of that.

“Eva-”

“Don’t.” I shook my head, stepping backwards. “Don’t say anything.”

This time, Adam didn’t get out of control. He didn’t do anything to me. He just stepped back, grabbed my backs and said, “We better go.”

I said nothing else and followed him silently. Now, I was sure his mind had just gotten more confused, because I’d complicated everything. I’d promised days ago I wouldn’t let him touch me the way he used to, but today we both broke that promise. I felt the guiltiest and the most miserable person on Earth.

I’d also told him I’d make love to him, if we were in the right place. God, I was so stupid. How could I have said something like that to a guy that felt attracted to me, and although had a girlfriend, couldn’t quite control himself when was near me? I felt even dumber, because I’d answered without thinking at all about my answers, but deep inside, I knew I wouldn’t have given him any other answer. I couldn’t lie to a guy like Adam, let alone to myself.

When we arrived at my room, Adam placed the bags in a corner and started saying, “Well, I hope you had fun, regardless of what happened-”

I placed my finger over his lips before he continued. “Don’t. I loved the day, Adam. You didn’t ruin anything.”

He grabbed my hand and slowly lowered. Sighing, he said, “You so don’t know how much you provoke me, kid...”

I bit my lip when he said that. “I’m sorry, Adam, really. I didn’t want you to get out of control; I didn’t want to say anything that would make you mad at me or something, but-”

“I know, kid, I know.” He replied, stepping towards me and placing his two warm hands on my cheeks. “Well, I have to go to bed.”

“Yeah,” I said, sadly, because he wouldn’t join me tonight. He wouldn’t make me fall asleep while his warm fingers gently stroke my skin, caressing me tenderly.

My eyes looked up at his and I felt something pulling me towards him, though I ignored it, and stayed exactly where I was. “Have a goodnight, Eva.”

Before I knew it, Adam closed his eyes, leaned down on me, and kissed me. I found myself asking how Adam could be so cruel to me. Why was he doing this? Did he like to see me suffering? Did he want or liked to know how much I hated myself for falling in love for a man I could never have, other than in my own dreams?

Furious at him, I didn’t kiss him back and he noticed it.

Disappointed with the way I - didn’t - respond to the kiss, Adam just let me go and turned around to leave my room, without looking at me. However, I managed to see a glimpse of pain in his blue eyes. Well, this time, I really didn’t care about it. Or at least I’d try not to. I was just as hurt as he was, and, possibly, more! I wasn’t the one who couldn’t have the person I wanted! Adam had Rachel and me!

Angry at myself, I took off the clothes and went straight to bed. Tears slid down my face, immediately. I didn’t bother to wipe them off as my vision became blurrier, not letting me see the night sky outside.

However, against all reason, that night, both my heart and body yearned for Adam.

That night, he wasn’t there.

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