Welcome To Heartbreak

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Chapter 20

"You’ll regret it tomorrow.”

"But I’ll love it tonight.”

And we were both right.

I had arranged a chair and sat on it before the huge glass wall, and had been there for two hours, looking at the sky darkening, as Adam still slept and I thought of how right we both were when we’d said that last night.

Oh yes, spending last night with him had been... more than I could have ever asked after knowing he wouldn’t be able to be with me anymore. But yes, Adam was right, I was regretting it now. Why? Hell, I wanted more. I wanted to have more of last night’s moments with him. I wanted to have him when I desired and have him say he loved me when I just simply wished to hear it.

But such wasn’t possible. He was engaged, and I was a nobody, who wasn’t worth enough to replace Rachel in his life.

I sighed. I was tired, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

An almost full day had passed since Adam had found me, and we’d spent it here, on this hotel. The night with him had been wonderful, but we were so tired that we decided to stay here for the daytime.

Adam had immediately fallen asleep, but I hadn’t. I couldn’t. I had too much to think of. But while my lover slept, I’d sent his bloody clothes to the laundry and had asked to bring lunch for me.

Both of our clothes had arrived ten minutes ago, and though I knew I had to wake up Adam, I didn’t want to. I wanted to keep him for myself and nobody else, but real world didn’t function like that, and we both knew it, even if we’d said yes to all of our temptations last night.

Still, Mr. Cooper, Rachel, and even my aunt had tried to contact Adam, though he’d picked none of their calls. Not only was his cell on silence, but I doubted he’d pick up any call from any of them.

But we’d had enough of paradise and had to get back to the real world. I had to decide what I wanted to do now.

I got up and walked up to the bed. I climbed on it and lay next to Adam, leaning my head over his naked back. “Adam...” I called him, not too loud, not too low, the enough for him to hear me. “You have to wake up.” I carefully nudged him, and finally he shifted a little, giving me a sign he was starting to wake up.

“Adam Cooper, you have to get up in this exact moment.” Despite my bossy tone, I didn’t raise my voice.

“Just a few more minutes, kid...”

“No more minutes, Adam. It’s almost 10 PM, we have to get up, get dressed, talk and see what we’ll do...” I whispered in his ear, letting him know that after last night, doubt had settled down on my mind, even though I’d looked pretty decided about not returning to the Cooper’s house before Adam had come to me last night.

I waited. And finally, Adam turned his head at me, and opened his bright blue eyes to look at me. At first, he said nothing and I could only speculate what was going through his mind. But then, is face creased into a smile, and he allowed me know, “I couldn’t have asked for a better night than yesterday’s, kid.”

“Me neither.” I agreed, shifting position and fully laying down beside him now.

God, he was beautiful. Really. Seriously. Rick didn’t even have a quarter of Adam’s beauty. And I’d considered Rick a pretty guy, but that was until I’d met Adam, of course. “You have to go back.”

Adam breathed silently, “What about you, kid? I don’t want to leave you here. I want you to come with me.”

“What will be of me at the house, Adam?” I asked him, though I’d thought about this plenty of the times, since the moment I’d woken up beside him today. “I mean, I know I’ll get back to my work, but... I don’t want to stand by the other maids and watch you get marry to Rachel while I just won’t be able to put you behind my back.”

“You can do it.”

“What if I don’t want to?” I mean, I loved him! How could he even say I could put him behind my back like that?

“But you have to, Eva.”

“I know I won’t be able to do it, even if I wanted, Adam. You mean too much for me to forget you like that when I see you every single day...” I felt my heart tighten at imagining myself looking at Adam every day, at the house, with Rachel by his side, happy with her marriage, while I spent my days working and longing for Adam.

Adam’s arm appeared over me and gently pulled my hair back, to better see my face and caress my warm cheek. “I’ll be honest, Eva. I want you to go back... because I want you to be close to me.”

“That’s just selfish.” I said swiftly, not realizing I’d actually spoken those words until Adam acknowledged them.

He nodded. “I know. Since I met you, I’ve become a very selfish man.” I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t know if I should take it as a compliment or some kind of insult, though I pretty much doubted it was the second one. “But that’s the truth. I don’t want to don’t know how you are, kid. I want to be able to be close to you if something happens. I don’t want to listen to your aunt talking about you to the other maids, saying you’ve been doing terribly since you left the house and all of that shit, you know?”

I just stared at him. He genuinely cared for me, but for what was it worth if I wasn’t the one he wanted to share his life with?

“I mean, what will you do anyway, kid?”

“Like I said yesterday-”

“Don’t lie. You know damn well you won’t be able to get a job in such a short period of time. Besides, you probably wouldn’t feel comfortable in having to live in your friends’ house!” He was better-looking tonight and seemed less tired than yesterday, I could just see it in his eyes, and because he seemed ready to fight me, unlike last night. “Be realistic, kid.”

“I am being realistic, Adam. If you were in my place, you would see how unrealistic you’re being! I mean, you can’t imagine the way I’d feel whenever I’d see you and her together...”

“Just like you can’t imagine the way I’d feel whenever I’d look at you and know I can’t possible have you-”

“Oh, you can, Adam.” I cut him off, lifting my head and shaking it in disbelief, “You just don’t want to trade Rachel for me, that’s all.”

Adam didn’t reply. In his blue eyes were anger and sadness. “That’s not that simple.”

“It would be if-”

“Look, do you want to trade places, is that it?” Adam suddenly interrupted me, lifting his torso and waving his hands up in the air, exploding, “You want to know how I feel? You want to be in love with two women and don’t know who to pick? You want to have my life? You want to not know anything about your mother and be the only son of my father that has to follow every single rule he has? Because, if you haven’t noticed, my brother sleeps around with other maids, my dad knows and doesn’t do anything! So why is he pissed off at me when I’ve made that mistake only once? I’m not a freaking saint!”

I raised my eyebrow. We were talking about Rachel and us, not about his life related to his dad and his foolish rules.

“I love you, Eva.” Adam suddenly reached out for my arm and pulled me towards him, taking his two hands to my face afterwards. “I really do. But for my dad’s sake, mine and Rachel’s, I can’t be with you.”

“I know.” I knew it last night, but lust took over me.

“But even if I can’t have you, come on, Eva, think about it. The best thing you would do for yourself now would be getting back to my house, because there is nothing out there for you in the time being. Maybe later, if you give yourself some time to look for it while you’re sheltered at my house, but... you would do best if you came with me.”

It was worthless to think about it, because I’d spent the whole day with that decision hanging over my head and despite not wanting to admit and accept it, Adam was right. I would do best if I went back to his house and get back to working as his family’s maid, because, well, being realistic, I wouldn’t be able to find a job this soon, and so easily, since I’m just eighteen and the only job experience I have, is a maid’s one. Adam was also certain about another thing. I would, in no way, feel comfortable in sleeping around my friends’ house, no matter how much they wouldn’t mind. I mean, come on! Like he’d also said... maybe I could start looking for another job while at his house.

“Are you sure your father won’t mind?” I asked him, biting my lower lip as I fixed my gaze in his beautiful face.

“No, he won’t, as long as what we did won’t happen again.” Adam reassured me. Yes, nothing would happen ever again. Adam would make sure of it. After all, with all of his talking, all he was trying to tell me some way was that he’d chosen Rachel, even though he wanted me close to him.

I lowered my head as Adam finally let go of me.

I’m so freaking weak, I thought to myself. It was enough for Adam to sweeten his talk with me, and I was ready to go back to that hell that was his house.

“I guess we better get dressed. After all, it’s past 10 PM already.”

Adam’s grin was huge. “Yes, it is. By the time we’ll get to the house, everyone will be asleep, but we’ll talk to them all in the morning.”

And then, he was off from bed and looking for his clothes. “There.” I said, pointing to the place where our clothes were, “I sent them to laundry this morning. Are you sure there won’t be any gossips about us? I mean, I don’t want to go back to your house and have to bear every single person staring and gossiping about me in every corner of the house.”

“Knowing my father as I do,” Adam started, “I’m sure he’s spoken to everyone and told them not to open their mouths about that day and what was going on between us.”

I didn’t doubt it. Mr. Cooper was capable of threatening every single maid in order for them to not open their mouths. I wondered what look he’d have on his face the moment he’d see me again. I mean, I had ruined his birthday party... I’m sure he’d have something to say to me. But, the worse had passed. I hadn’t been fired. I still had a job and a place to stay, which meant I didn’t need to spend my nights on any motel rooms again, or at least for now.

Adam’s coughing made me stop thinking about whatever was waiting for me at the house, so I just dragged myself off that gigantic and comfortable bed, and started dressing myself as well.

We were both ready in fifteen minutes. Since we hadn’t brought anything with us, there was nothing that was needed to put in bags or something. So, we walked out of that room, and the last thing I visualized before Adam closed the door wasn’t the inside of the room, it was the night we’d both spent there.

Right after Adam checked out from the hotel, we threw ourselves to the road.

While I looked to the outside of the car, I noticed Adam wasn’t following his usual directions to get out of that city, but I said nothing at first, until I watched him slow down and park the car in a street that still had a considerable amount of people walking around.

I turned to look at him, but before I could ask him something, he said, “Give me five minutes, kid.” And then, he was out of the car in a second.

My dark blue eyes followed him and recognized the place where he was walking in. It was a pharmacy.

I rose my eyebrow at the thought of what Adam was thinking when he went there. I mean, as far as I’d noticed, his wounds were okay. His hands hadn’t bled and neither had his lip.

I waited for more than five minutes as my mind considered all the possibilities, until I finally sighted him leaving the store with a petite bag on his hand.

As soon as he got in the car, I started, “What were you-”

“This is for you.” He cut me off, throwing a little box at me, and before he could even see my reaction, he just started the car and drove off. I was completely unaware of what the hell was going on.

“What is this, Adam?” I asked him, not even bothering to look at the box.

“The morning-after-pill, Eva.” He said flatly. “I don’t know if you realized it, but I didn’t use any condom last night.”

My gaze dropped to the little box immediately.

Oh. My. God.

“I-I... Are you s-serious, Adam?” I asked, still not turning my eyes to see him.

“Of course!” Adam suddenly replied, his tone of voice higher than the normal, “I don’t want you pregnant! Why would you want to? I mean, unless you just want it to later get my mo-”

My jaw dropped and I caught myself feeling outraged, “How dare you to think such thing of me, you asshole? I didn’t mean that! What I meant was that, how could you forget to use condoms?”

I watched him blink in surprise. “Oh. I thought you meant-”

“I can’t even believe you thought that of me!” I mean, for god’s sake, I would never try to conceive with Adam without him knowing in order to have his money or something! Besides, I was just an eighteen year old girl! Such thing didn’t go through my mind right now!

“I’m sorry, kid.” He apologized, “I was just caught off guard when I remembered we hadn’t used any protection, that’s all.”

“And thank God for it, because that was something I wouldn’t have thought of until it would be too late to do something about it.”

Leaning backwards and looking at the little box again, I imagined myself finding out I was pregnant of Adam. Oh my god, it would be so... awful! It was like... I couldn’t even picture myself with a big belly and announcing to everyone that I was pregnant!

“I know the last time we did it was like... more than twelve hours ago, but it will still work if you take it as soon as we reach the house.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then, I asked him, “Are you that desperate to not have me pregnant?”

“Eva... you know I don’t mean that.” He said, one hand of him slithering down and resting on my thigh, now. Although his bright blue eyes were on the road, I knew he was looking at me through the corner of his eye.

Of course he didn’t mean it. I was sure of it, but it somehow hurt.

“Look,” He started, “This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to have kids with you. I mean, I would, I’m sure, but... we can’t. And I’m sure that now isn’t the time for you to get pregnant, you have your whole life ahead of you, just like me. Besides... like I said, we can’t. My dad and Rachel, they-”

“Just shut up, Adam.” I told him, turning my face away from his line of sight. It wasn’t like I was mad at him for making me take the morning-after-pill, I wasn’t, in fact, I was glad, really, but... I don’t know. I just felt this swirl of emotions inside me that I couldn’t label.

Adam said nothing else to me during the whole way towards his house and I was thankful for it, because I was sure I would retort him if he questioned me about something.

During those long and dreadful hours, I couldn’t stop thinking about us two. I really had no idea if I was making the right decision, or the biggest mistake. I knew it would be hard to get over Adam, but if I put my heart and head into it... if I didn’t see him as many times as I used to, then... it would be possible, right? Yes, it would, and knowing he would never trade Rachel for me would serve as a motivation.

Still... it would be so freaking painful in the beginning, and frankly, I still hadn’t been able to understand how I’d sudden decided to forgive him, really. I’d just talked with him about it, heard him, and then... we were off to bed as our sexual tension couldn’t be ignored anymore.

What would everyone think of me now? That I had been able to get Adam? That I was just after his money? Several potential gossips appeared on my mind, and all I felt was like slapping each person that could possibly come up with those stupid gossips.

But, truthfully, my biggest fear was to see Adam’s father, and I could only thank God to have this night to prepare some kind of speech for tomorrow, when I’d face him all by myself, because I just had the feeling he wouldn’t allow Adam to be in the office with us once he would start lecturing me and possibly giving me some kind of punishment.

The hours passed and I didn’t even notice they had passed so fast, until Adam said, “We’re here.” And once my eyes sighted the huge house, I knew I’d arrived to the place I’d wanted to stay away for days in a row. I succeeded, but I was too weak to stray myself from it.

Unfortunately, my life was here now.

As soon as Adam got in his property, he drove to one of the garages and parked the car inside. We got out silently, not bothering to communicate with the other.

Still, I waited for him to close the garage, and since it was just too late for someone to be up, I walked inside with him. The house was quiet, no racket was heard other than our breathing and almost noiseless steps. Besides, I didn’t even know what to say to him now.

We walked up together to the stairs and when we reached the first floor, I turned myself at Adam. His room was on this floor. Before I could open my mouth for the second time, he just jerked his head toward the next set of stairs and said, “I’ll walk you upstairs, kid.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” With his answer, we moved on to the next set of stairs, with silence still tearing us apart.

I wasn’t afraid of him deciding to accompany me to the last floor, but at the same time, I didn’t know what we’d do once we’d reach it. Just say goodbye? Attempt to give him one last kiss? Invite him to my room?

The floor that had the maids’ room was quiet, like always. I thought of going to my aunt in that very moment, but it was better to talk to everyone else tomorrow morning.

At last, we reached the floor with just one room – mine.

I turned around immediately, suddenly deciding I didn’t want him to invade my space for the time being. Besides, if I wanted to break apart from my feelings for him, it had to start now, no matter how much it sliced my heart.

I took a deep breath and spoke firstly, “This is the last time I’ll have you coming up here.”

“Yeah, I guess-”

“No, Adam, I mean it.” I interrupted him, “If you want my feelings for you to totally vanish, we should stop having those late night encounters we used to have.”

Because he didn’t react right away, I just knew he’d been caught off guard with my decision and hadn’t really put much thought on the fact that we would have to stop seeing together. “Eva-”

“Don’t change my mind, Adam.” I cut him off again. “I mean, you were even the one that said I’d be able to stop... you know. If you want my feelings to go away, we can’t be with each other like we used to, do you understand?”

His eyes narrowed and I felt myself freeze as he gazed at me. “So you just want to have that boss-maid relation, is that it?”

“Don’t you want to go on with your life and don’t have me as an obstacle to your relation with Rachel and your dad’s as well?” I could not believe Adam thought we’d continue acting towards each other like before...

“Answer my question, Eva.” He said sharply.

“I would never want that to be our relation, Adam. In the beginning, it might have been.” Despite all of my curiosity towards him in the beginning, I would’ve never guessed it would end up this way. And though it hurt me more than he could imagine breaking apart from him, it just had to happen. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to carry on with our lives.

“Don’t go around the question. Be honest with me. Despite the shit I’ve done, I think we should tell each other how our relation is going to be from now on. So I asked you, is that the type of relation you want for ourselves?”

My jaw fell open and I found myself laughing in a sarcastic way. “You’re kidding me, aren’t you, Adam? I won’t ever be able to move on with my life if I keep being with you the way we used to! Don’t you want me to stop loving you? Or do you want to see me suffering and yearning for you while you’re with Rachel, and just come to me whenever you feel like it?”

Maybe I’d spoken with a louder tone of voice, but right now, I was angry. Angry at Adam for knowing he wanted things to remain the same, not caring about my feelings!

“We wouldn’t do anything, kid, we would just-”

“Go out on my days off? Go to the stable to meet you and stay there for hours? Stay with you on my bed and have you caress me when we should just not do it? Please, Adam. I thought you wanted to straight out our lives.”

“We wouldn’t act like that anymore, Eva!” Now, his voice had equally rose, “We would just talk to one another whenever we wanted! We wouldn’t share beds, caress each other or even kiss! Look, you might have been my lover, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re my friend. That comes first.”

I shook my head in a negative way, “I would never be able to have that kind of relation with you, Adam, can’t you see it? I fucking love you! Just being your friend wouldn’t work out for me! So yes! That’s why I want to have that relation you have with every other maid!”

There, I’d said it.

I didn’t move or breathed; I just looked at him and waited for an answer.

“Is that what you really want?” He folded his arms over his chest and stood there, looking at me with pain and fury stamped on his face. Right now, I was afraid of him.

“If that’s what it takes to make me forget about you and be able to move on, yes. That is what I want, then.” I would have never guessed I would be saying this, except on my head, but there, I’d had the guts to say it.

“Ok, then. If that’s what you want.” He nodded once and let his arms fall down. His expression was one of a man that would disappear for now and unleash his fury somewhere else, in order to restrain from hurting someone. In this case, in order to restrain from hurting me. “Goodnight, Eva.”

Next, he was turning around and leaving me alone. And all I could think of was, you can’t let him go like that, Eva.

It fucking hurt me, but... God, just this last time.

“Adam, wait!” I hurried myself to reach him before he touched the staircases, and watched him turn around. He looked down at me with those frosty blue eyes and waited.

“Damn, I love you, but you can’t let me do this anymore, do you hear me?”

His eyebrow rose, but before he could pronounce a word, my arms wrapped around his neck, I lifted my body as much as I could, and my lips met his.

Adam was definitely my weakness.

I was sure I’d hate myself for this, but God, I couldn’t let him go like that! I loved him! If our relationship would drastically change starting from now, then hell, I wanted that last kiss from him.

My eyes were shut, but I felt the tears ready to fall down the moment we would tear ourselves apart.

I felt that same greedy hunger I’d felt last night, but now, I would be forced to ignore it, though that didn’t forbid me to hold on to him for the moment. He was enormous and I was so petite... I felt secured. His arms were around my waist and I felt him squeeze me against his warm body.

Why do all good things come to an end?

“Eva?” As soon as the familiar voice was heard, we both broke apart and Adam stepped out of my way. “Eva!”

My aunt immediately ran towards me and the next second, she was desperately hugging me, like if I wasn’t really there and she wanted to prove the contrary.

I hugged her as well, and sobbed, leaning down my head on her shoulder. I wasn’t crying of happiness because my aunt was hugging me. I was crying because Adam was right there and I wouldn’t have the chance to have him anymore.

“I’ve been so worried about you! I’ve been driving myself crazy, thinking of what could have possibly happen to you since you ran away! You should have said something, Eva!” She immediately started with her bossy tone of voice, though she was just glad I was back. The same didn’t happen with me.

“I’m sorry I left you without saying anything, aunt, but at the moment I just... I d-didn’t want to see anyone...” I replied, my eyes slowly jumping to Adam, who stood there gazing at us.

Breaking the hug, but not letting go of me, my aunt smiled and asked, “How did you come-”

“Adam.” I spoke his name. “You should thank him, because he found me and reasoned with me that coming here was the best I’d do to my life for the time being.”

My aunt’s head turned and she nodded, “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry for everything, Deena. I knew that she wouldn’t have run away if we hadn’t gotten involved, so... You have nothing to thank me for. Finding her was the only thing I could do for you... and her.” And himself, I knew it. He would just not rest until he would have me in his arms after I’d run away from his house that day.

“Still, thank you.” Then, she focused her attention on me again, “You scared the hell out of me, Eva! I wouldn’t know what I would do if something happened to you! What would your mother think of me up there?”

What was my Mother thinking of me after watching all of this mess?

“Well, it’s late. I should go.” Adam suddenly said, and we both looked back at him. He didn’t leave us right here. He exchanged looks with me, and asked, “So, was that your final decision, kid?”

“Yes.” I answered, without putting any more thought on it, since my decision was made up. If having that kind of relationship with Adam was what I needed to move on, then that was the type of relationship we would be having from now on.

He nodded, and left straight away.

My heart broke again and tears were shed for him once more.

“Eva...” My aunt started, not finishing the sentence. “I’m sorry.”

Needy, I hugged her again and cried on her shoulder.

“Let’s go to your room, shall we?” Though she’d kindly asked it, she immediately forced me to turn around and walk in my room, where I had so many memories with Adam.

I threw the morning-after-pill to my bed and sat at the edge of it, burying my head on my hands, hiding my ashamed face from my aunt.

“I thought you would be strong enough to not think you could possibly have something with Adam...” My aunt started. I was ready to react and yell at her, but when she kept going, I shut up, “Just like I thought he would ignore you since you were a maid, like he used to do with every single one of them.”

“Yeah, well, you were wrong about the both of us.”

“Unfortunately, despite my efforts to make you see you should stay away from him, you paid no attention to my warnings.” My aunt seemed to be blaming herself for it, “Just like Al paid no attention to me, following her heart instead of what her mind and friend were telling her.”

“Who is Al?” I asked, still not showing my face and trying to stop crying.

“Al was a maid I once worked with, but she made the same mistake you made, and fell in love for a man she should have stayed away from.” My aunt told me.

And then, I caught myself asking, a sarcastic tone on my voice, “Was that man like Adam? Did he have a girlfriend? Was he deeply troubled and had anger management problems? Did he have problems with his father? I’m sure whoever than man was... he had none of those problems.”

I heard my aunt slightly laugh, “Oh, you would be amazed if you knew how much they have in common.”

“Who is he anyway?”

“He’s dead.” And lower, she said, “For me, he is.”

“What about the woman?”

“She’s well, but a part of her has died, just like the same happened with the man.” My aunt revealed. “They weren’t supposed to get involved, just like you and Adam, but both ignored every single warning and later, they suffered the consequences of it. Lucky you, you’re not suffering half of what Al went through.”

I didn’t know why my aunt was telling me this; after all, she never did tell me anything.

“What tore them apart? Did he have another woman as well?”

“Kind of. He’d had a friend he’d spent his childhood with, and were very good friends. His father had always wanted him to marry that girl, since she came from a wealthy family and knew his son kind of liked her. Well, until Al came into to picture. It was like he’d suddenly forgotten about everything. What started out as pure curiosity, turned into a forbidden relation.”

Oh, I knew pure curiosity could lead us into something that would do no good to our lives...

“Why? I mean, the man wasn’t engaged or dated the other woman, did he?”

“No, he didn’t.” Oh, so that was one thing we didn’t have in common, I guess... Adam had Rachel. “But his father forbade him to marry the girl when he wanted to.”

“The father was the man’s only problem?” If Mr. Cooper had been the only problem, who knows? Maybe Adam would think twice about staying with me... I cried hard again. Deep inside me, I knew Adam would never disobey his father.

“Yes, but unfortunately, the man was too weak to battle against his father, and by then, Al was pregnant.”

I sobbed as I lifted my head from my hands for the first time since I’d walked in my room and my aunt had started talking to me. What she revealed spiked my interest. “What did they do?”

How awful things must have been for the woman, I thought. I mean, the man didn’t want to stay with her and she was pregnant.

My aunt shrugged, “I wouldn’t know.”

My eyes narrowed, “You do know, but you just don’t want to tell me.”

Exasperated, my aunt said, “True love doesn’t exist, Eva. We’re bound to our obligations, no matter which are they. As for what happened... despite Al being pregnant, they didn’t stay together. The man abandoned her.”

My jaw fell open, “Are you serious?” My aunt nodded. “How could he? I mean, it was his child, wasn’t it?”

“Of course. Al was my best friend, she told me everything. He’d been the only she’d slept with. And despite of how much she loved him, despite of how many times she’d told herself she would let go of her feelings for him, she wasn’t capable... and ended up pregnant.”

In that exact moment, I got up and searched for the little box Adam had bought for me. I ignored my aunt’s probing stare and went straight to the bathroom to take the morning-after-pill.

I didn’t want to be pregnant. I loved Adam, but I didn’t want the same to happen to me. Al’s experience woke me up to reality, since I’d almost forgotten to take it.

When I got back to my aunt, she swiftly grabbed the little box I held in my hands, and when she red what it was, her eyes widened. “Eva...?”

I felt tears pricking my eyes again, “Yes... we did it.” My aunt sat down on my bed and I sat next to her. “It wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“How many times?” She asked, astonished.

“Just twice...” I revealed. “Last night and... the night before Adam proposed to Rachel at Mr. Cooper’s birthday party.” I felt my cheeks hot. It was embarrassing to tell my aunt when I had had sex with Adam.

It was her turn to lower her head and bury it on her hands. “I cannot believe this happened. I... Right under my nose! I cannot believe Adam fell for you-”

“He didn’t fall for me, aunt.” I said, repeating that to myself as well. “He still loves Rachel, that’s why he’s not staying with me. And like the man in the story you told me, he’s afraid of Mr. Cooper as well. I guess... you’re kind of going through the same thing, not with Al, but with your niece this time.”

“I’m sorry for all of this, Eva.” My aunt stirred back and gazed at me, guilt stamped on her face. “If I hadn’t brought you to this house, you wouldn’t be going through what Al went through. And believe me, I know how she felt at the time...”

“If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have anywhere else to go.” I said, ignoring the last part of what she’d said. Well, it was true, anyway. Despite of that fact that I’d tried to blame my aunt for bringing me to the house, truth was, if she hadn’t done it, I had no idea where I’d be now.

“Do you love him, Eva?” She questioned me, as she tucked my hair behind both of my ears.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It wasn’t worth lying and like I’d done with Adam when he’d asked me the same question, I didn’t put any thought on it, “Yes, I do.”

My aunt hurried herself to say, “Don’t think Rachel’s better than you. I know her enough to know she is just a spoiled brat and I’m not saying this just because you’re my niece. If Adam doesn’t want you, he’s the one losing. If he’s afraid to face his father, I think less of him now. I thought Adam would grow and differ from his father, but I was wrong.”

“Aunt Deena-”

“This is so... surreal!” She suddenly got up, shaking her hands upwards. “I can’t believe the same story’s repeating itself! What is wrong with these men? You and Al deserve so much better!”

Oh, I did believe we both deserved better than Adam and that man, whoever he was. Tough luck, we’d both fallen in love for the wrong guys.

I might deserve better than Adam, he could be the wrong guy for me, but it wasn’t worth saying those things to me when I didn’t believe any of them, honestly. If anything, Adam would be the only one I’d be in love with. After all, I’d had my share of men. All of them had hurt me.

“Could you leave me alone now, aunt?” I asked politely. “It’s just that I’m tired and... I just want to sleep and stop thinking about everything. Besides... if Mr. Cooper hasn’t fired me, I’m sure he’s waiting for me to be up at the same time than everyone else.”

“Now that’s another thing that amazed me, actually.” My aunt started, completely overlooking what I’d said about wanting to sleep. “I thought he would fire you, Eva. I know Arthur pretty well, believe me, but never did I thought he would decide to keep you.”

“I’m sure what you and Adam said... was enough, I guess.”

“To tell the truth, Eva, I didn’t talk to Arthur about him firing you or not.” That amazed me, actually. I thought my aunt would battle for my job... “And I doubt whatever Adam said to him when I left his office that day, would change his mind. So my guess is... he must have thought of something... maybe Arthur didn’t want the same to happen to you. Yes, it must have been that.”

By the time she started talking about her hunch, she was talking to herself and not me. Whatever she was saying, I was too tired to listen to it.

“Yeah, but... right now, I just want to sleep.”

“He’ll want to speak with you tomorrow morning.” My aunt told me, her eyes gazing at me, assessing my reaction to it.

“I know. I’ll handle him. I’ve handled plenty of stuff since I came here. A lecture and a punishment from Mr. Cooper is what I’m waiting for, anyway.” All I begged was that it didn’t include cleaning any part of that huge property by the time my work as a maid was done. Last time, Adam had to help me. If he hadn’t... I don’t know what would be of me now.

“If you need anything, Eva, just say, ok? Don’t hide anything from me anymore.” My aunt seemed to plead for it.

“I won’t.”

“I believe you.” I just nodded. I wouldn’t have anything else to lie for now that Adam and I were done for good. “Well, I’ll leave you to rest. Just one thing, are you sure that pill you took... will prevent you from being pregnant?”

I looked at the box my aunt had thrown against my pillows, just like me. I assured her, “Yes, it will.”

My aunt nodded, “Have a goodnight, Eva. If you need anything, you know where my room is.”

All I needed was for all of my problems to go away and talking to my aunt wouldn’t make them disappear.

I didn’t answer and watched her walk straight towards the door. The moment her hand touched the doorknob, I remembered to ask, “Wait!” She turned around, curious, “Tell me, what happened to the baby?”

Her eyes darkened and there was a swirl of emotions and secrets hidden behind that grim gaze. I was actually surprised when my aunt opened her mouth to answer me. “I’m sorry to say, like father, like son. The boy has grown to become the same man is father is.”

And with that said, she turned her back at me, and left my room.

I just stared at the door, and thought of what she’d said, but because I was so tired... I really didn’t think cleverly.

I just undressed myself and for the first time in six days, I put on one of pajamas. I felt so comfortable in it that I surely wouldn’t wear any more fancy dresses and high heels for quite a while.

By the time I lay in bed, it was almost 3 AM. I’d have to be up in four hours. Whoever would look at me tomorrow, not only would they gossip about what had happened at the party, but they would also comment about how bad I looked.

Well, screw them. They weren’t my biggest problem. Mr. Cooper was.

But I wasn’t much into thinking about that for now.

All I had in my mind... was the way Adam would now react towards me. His usual boss-maid relationship with other maids was just cruel. Despite the fact I’d said that we should act like it, so that I’d be able to forget it... would he really be that horrible to me?

Would he ignore me and pretend there never was anything between us?

Or would he still treat me a little bit differently?

With those questions haunting my exhausted mind, I drifted off to sleep in a matter of time.

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