It was past midnight, and Adam was behind his stable, sat on the earthy floor and leaned on a tree for over an hour, now. His eyes were closed, and in his mind replayed the scene where Eva had told the truth that had been hidden from him, over and over again.
He felt exhausted and empty. His hands hurt like hell. They were also bloody. He could barely do any movement at all with his fingers. He knew he should take care of the wounds before it got infected, but the last thing he wanted was to go home and face everyone that had lied to him throughout his entire life.
His mother was alive.
His mother was freaking alive all this time, and his father had never told him or gave him a clue of some sorts. And if she was alive... why hadn’t she made a move to see him? Someone had stopped her from that, just because she apparently had worked as a maid for his father? Deena also knew, and after all the times Adam had practically pleaded to know something about his mother, she’d remained quiet. Then, Eva... She’d been the only one with the guts to tell him the truth, even when his own father and grandfather didn’t want to or just didn’t have the courage to do that themselves. However, Adam just couldn’t ignore the fact she’d been with his own mother and hadn’t told him a damn thing.
Why had they all lied? Why?
Letting his head fall down, Adam found himself lost.
What the hell was he supposed to do now?
He knew he had to get back home and face his family, Rachel, and Eva, but... that was the last thing he wanted, now - to confront them and have to deal with truths and lies.
But, regardless of all that, Adam did want to cross the property his father owned and step inside his house, just so that he could face his father.
He wanted to clench his fists, because he was once more furious, but he couldn’t. The pain was just too much.
All Adam wanted to do was to yell at his father, and demand an explanation to why he’d decided to fucking lie about his mother ever since he’d born! It wasn’t just someone, it was his mother! A person who was supposed to be present in his life! But, no! She hadn’t! And Adam wanted to know why! If she was alive, why hadn’t she even tried to meet him? Why hadn’t she made a move to just try to talk to him a little? Didn’t she feel the curiosity he felt to meet her? Didn’t she love him at all?
Also, after everything he’d heard from Deena and Glenda, claiming his father had never loved a woman the way he’d loved his mother, Adam just couldn’t seem to find an answer to why his father had left her, then.
Was it because she was a maid? Was that it? Because if it was... Then his father was just weak. They’d had a son together, and yet he’d given up on her! And because she worked for him as a maid? Was that why he also wanted to keep him away from all the maids? So the same wouldn’t happen to his son?
Well, at least that proved that the rumors he’d heard about his father being involved with a maid were true. Adam had thought it was nothing but a rumor. But even if it wasn’t just that, he’d hoped his father hadn’t cheated on his mother with the supposed maid. But... it seemed the maid his father had been involved with had been his mother all along.
And frankly, it had been thanks to those rumors that Adam had decided to choose Rachel in the first place.
After all, the last thing Adam had wanted his whole life was to become the same man his father was – weak, heartless, dispassionate... Unfortunately, no matter how hard he had tried... he’d even made the same mistake his father had – get involved with a maid, Eva.
Leaning his head backwards, Adam couldn’t help but to picture the petite and fragile girl in his arms. She loved him. And he loved her, too. With Eva, he was never miserable. She seemed to be the cure he needed to heal all the damage he’d done to himself, by becoming the same man his father was. Even when they’d stayed away from each other for quite a while, before Eva had had the audacity to ask him to give her a chance, he’d longed for her. He’d needed her.
Anyway, it didn’t matter now. He wouldn’t make the same mistake. Yes, he’d been involved with Eva, like his father had been involved with his mother, but... Adam wouldn’t give up from the woman he truly loved, the way his father had given up from his mother.
That was his choice.
He wouldn’t become the same man his father was.
However, thinking about that, another question hung in Adam’s mind.
Had his father loved his mother the way he loved Eva? Or... were Deena and all the others lying to him? Had it just been an affair, and that was why his father hadn’t stayed with his mother, even though he’d taken Adam?
His head hurt now with all the questions that hung unanswered in his mind. And he knew the only way to get those answers was to get up and head back home.
Swallowing dryly, Adam pushed himself up, suddenly decided. He’d go home, and he’d have the answers he needed. Then, after it, he could figure out what to do.
Still, he was sure of only one thing. No matter what would happen when he’d get there, his choice was made, and no one – no one – would make him change his mind because, in the end, Eva really was the one he loved and wanted.
With that in his mind, Adam headed back home.
On his way, he remembered the conversation he’d had with Alexis right after he’d left the house, hours ago. He knew that if he didn’t call her, he’d do something crazy. She wanted to come to his house and be with him, but Adam had told her to stay where she was. He just needed to be on the phone with her. Alexis kept telling him to calm down, because his parents must’ve had a reason to hide that from him and that, for now, he should have some time to pull himself back together before he dealt with his father. After some time on the phone with his best friend, that was what Adam tried to do. And he did quieten down for a while. He’d tried to relax while taking care of his horses and, for some time, it worked... until he played the earlier scene on his mind again, where Eva had told him his mother was alive.
He’d blown up, and that explained his bloody hands.
When he reached the house, everything was quiet, but that was just the stillness before the storm. He knew where to find his father. He was probably in his office, thinking about the shit he’d done.
However, right now, he wanted to find Eva.
He wanted to hold her in his arms, and tell her he’d never let anyone hurt her the way his grandfather did. In Adam’s mind flashed a quick scene where he’d pushed his grandfather away from Eva and threw him down the stairs, before he could touch Eva. He didn’t regret it.
He needed to know where she was because, right now, he wanted to be sure she was ok. He was aware that when he’d left... he’d abandoned her. She’d been there, being judged, with nothing but a sheet covering her... and he’d cruelly deserted her. But if he’d stayed there, he’d have exploded in front of everyone, when leaving the house and calling Alexis were his best options at that point.
“Adam?” He suddenly heard ahead of him, recognizing the voice as being Deena’s before he even spotted her.
Looking up, Adam saw Deena stopping and gazing down at him with a sharp look. He didn’t know what to say to her, and he had no idea what she’d tell him. Was she waiting for him to ask about Eva first, or his mother, and then burst out again?
“Your hands...” He heard her again, her eyes wide-open when she glanced at his bloody hands. “You-”
“I need Eva, Deena.” He found himself saying, not even thinking about it. “I need to see her and talk to her. I need her to help me and I need to know she’s ok. I-”
“Eva isn’t here.” Deena cut him off, the worried tone no longer there.
“What... what do you mean she isn’t here?” Where else could she be?
“She left shortly after you abandoned her.” Deena spitted the words, despising him as she started coming down the stairs.
“I didn’t abandoner her!” He cried out, feeling something inside him break. Deep inside, he knew he had. “I just couldn’t stay there anymore! I had to-”
“Go after Rachel, and abandon my nice.” Eva’s aunt cut in, looking at him with repulsion and stopping a few steps away. “Eva stood there defenseless, Adam, and you dumped her just like that and went after a woman you don’t even love. You broke her heart. Again.”
His eyes widened in sheer surprise when he heard those words. “You have got to be kidding me...” He mumbled, shaking his head in denial. Deena couldn’t possibly be saying that he’d deserted Eva, just so he could go after Rachel... “Are you serious, Deena? Are you really saying what I think you are saying?”
Deena answered with a cold tone Adam wasn’t used to, at all. “I think I was clear enough.”
“Tell me where Eva is. She figured out everything the wrong way.” Unconsciously, he clenched his fists, because he needed to hit something in that very moment, but the pain that assaulted him right after rubbed out that thought from his mind. He took a deep breath and turned around, closing his eyes, and trying to get a hold of himself. “You have got to be kidding me, Deena.”
“If you think I’ll just tell you where my niece is, so you can crush her heart again by saying caring words and then leave her all over again, you’re wrong, Adam. You really are.”
Out of the blue, Adam quickly spun over his heels, and roared furiously as he unconsciously hit the handrail, “I told everyone I loved her hours ago, Deena! In front of my father and my grandfather! I hit my own grandfather for Eva! And then you say I did it all just so that in the end I’d go after Rachel? After I was even told by Eva that my own mother was still alive? Are you fucking serious, Deena? The last thing on my mind was Rachel!” The instant he stopped talking, his mind focused on the abrupt pain that invaded his hands. Through gritted teeth, he swore.
When Eva’s aunt spoke, she was almost yelling. “Then care to explain why didn’t you answer Eva when she asked you if you were going after Rachel, right after she left?”
That caught him off guard. “What?”
“You heard me, Adam! Eva asked you if you were going after Rachel, but you just ignored her!”
What the hell? He hadn’t heard her! But, still... how could Eva think he’d be going after Rachel? Yes, he’d left her many times to be with Rachel, even if his mind could only think of Eva, but this time... Hadn’t she heard him saying he loved her in front of everyone? That was a clear sign that he had made his choice in that very moment!
“I... I didn’t hear her, Deena, I... Eva...” He stammered, not really knowing what to say other than that, which was the plain truth. However, he knew now that he just had to see Eva. He had to, because he needed to assure her that she wouldn’t have to share him with anyone, anymore, for the reason that now... now he was hers, and only hers. He’d made his choice, and he desperately needed to tell her that! The urge to do that was so excruciating that, Adam resumed begging, “Tell me where she is, Deena... I have to tell her I didn’t go after Rachel! I have to tell her I made up my mind! I want her to know she’s the one I love, and that I’m willing to give up everything to be with her! Deena... please.”
At last, Eva’s aunt seemed touched. The look in her eyes told Adam she pitied him. He hated that look. He really did, but if he wanted to see Eva, the last thing he could do was arguing with her aunt.
Stepping towards him, Deena grabbed his hands, and looked at them. Then, she whispered, “Go to your father’s office, Adam. Talk it all out with him and then take care of your hands. I should also tell you that... he is not alone.” Deena lifted her face and looked up at Adam, a small smile forming on her thin lips.
But then, before he was allowed to think about that, Deena’s smile vanished and her eyes darkened. “The last thing Eva told me before I took her to another place was that... she was done with this, and that... she quit.”
It felt as if the world had fallen down on him and he just couldn’t take it.
“You’re lying.” Adam said straight away, pulling away from her grip. She had to be lying. After everything Eva had asked of him... She couldn’t just quit! She couldn’t give up when he’d finally made his choice! He found himself shaking his head, and saying, “I don’t believe it, Deena. Eva loves me. She told me she loved me and that we could be together. You can’t... I don’t...” He trailed off, not wanting to believe what Eva’s aunt was telling him.
He watched her sigh heavily, and then heard her again. “I’m sorry, Adam.”
“I want to talk to her.” He said immediately.
“You’re the last person she wants to see, right now.”
“I was also the person she hated at my father’s party and didn’t want to see me ever again, but when I found her, not only was I able to bring her back, but we also ended up in bed that night.” No, he wasn’t going to allow Eva to give up. She just said all of those things because she believed he’d gone after Rachel, when he really hadn’t. But it didn’t matter. He would talk to her, and he would tell her that he loved her, and there was no one else in the world he wanted but her. “I’m going to my father’s office. I’m going to talk to him and hear him out, as well. But then... then I want to know where she is, Deena.”
And without more to say to Eva’s aunt, Adam walked past her, and went upstairs, where his father’s office was.
If Eva thought she could just quit without talking to him first, she was wrong. He’d made his choice. And it wasn’t some misunderstanding that would make him lose her. Of all people, Eva should’ve known he’d need some time to think about everything.
And once again, Adam was thinking about his parents.
They were the reason why Adam was the way he was. It was their entire fault he’d grown up to be a complete bastard who couldn’t control himself. If both had been honest with him from the beginning... none of this would’ve happened. And maybe... maybe Adam would’ve chosen Eva right in the beginning, because he would’ve been a different man. He wouldn’t have committed the same mistakes his father apparently made.
With that on his mind, Adam cleared his throat, and prepared to call his father when he reached the door. “Dad?”
He then heard a voice. “Adam?” It was his father. “Come in!”
“I’m... My hands... I can’t.” Stupid, stupid him. Why did he always lose his head? Sighing, he began saying, “Can you please open the...”
He trailed off when the door was suddenly swung open. However, instead of facing his father, Gabrielle or even his grandfather, Adam stood before a woman he’d never seen.
Out of the blue, Deena’s voice echoed through every corner of his mind, ”I should also tell you that... he is not alone."
The woman’s mouth opened to speak, but she seemed to have thought about it better, and resumed pressing her lips together. She seemed to be about forty years, or maybe older. Her hair was black and wild, like Eva’s, but some grey locks were showing already near the temples. It perfectly framed her oval-shaped face, whose color was slightly darker than Adam’s. Her blue-grey eyes wouldn’t stop staring at him in utter astonishment and disbelief. In addition to that, Adam could see tears forming at the edge of her eyes.
Every instinct inside him told him who that woman was, but he refused to believe.
It just can’t be.
Before he could even try to pronounce a single word, the woman flew towards him and hugged him firmly, as if she didn’t want to let him go anymore. Burying her face on his chest, she began crying.
In that moment, Adam was sure of whom she was - his mother.
Thunderstruck, he didn’t know what to do, say or even think. Was he supposed to hug her? Say some kind words? Tell her how much her presence was life-changing? Or should he just remain quiet, and engulf her with his arms, like a son did to a mother he’d never met in his entire life?
Swallowing dryly, and still frozen in time, Adam looked ahead. His father was gazing at them both, and his eyes shone like Adam had never seen. That was yet another confirmation that the woman holding onto him was indeed his mother.
“Oh, Adam...” She uttered, and Adam realized that her voice was nothing like he’d imagined throughout his life. It wasn’t as clear as he thought it was, but maybe it was because she was still crying. “I can’t believe I’m really hugging you...” She kept sobbing, and wouldn’t let him go whatsoever.
“I...” He was still too taken aback to come up with a reply.
His father noticed it, and came to rescue him. With a faint smile, he approached the woman and slowly put his hands on her waist. “Al... give him some space to digest the fact that you’re here.” But she wouldn’t step backwards. However, what Adam found himself focusing on... was his father’s change. The way he spoke... the way he looked at the woman and carefully touched her... “Al, come on... He’s not going to run away. He’s not like-”
“You?” He heard her saying, “I doubt that. From everything I know... Adam’s just like you.”
“I’m not like my father.” He blurted out abruptly, looking straight into his father’s eyes.
It was those words that finally struck the woman. Slowly, and still weeping, she stepped back and stared back at Adam. Then, her head turned and gazed at his father, whose eyes were on him. Wiping off the tears with her sleeve, the woman shook her head a little, and objected, “You are so wrong about that, Adam... Even your posture, the way you hold yourself there... you’re just like your father.”
“I guess I am.” He said, stepping in and slamming shut the door behind him. “I guess I am. After all, I cheated on my fiancée with a maid. The only thing that distinguishes me from him is that Eva isn’t pregnant and I won’t ever leave her.”
“I didn’t cheat on Gabriella, Adam. When I got involved with your mother... I had no one.” His father admitted, turning and walking towards his desk.
“But you did leave her!” Adam’s tone rose, pointing at his supposed mother. “You left her, and you didn’t even have the guts to tell me she worked for you! Hell, you lied to me! You made me believe this whole time that she was dead!” And that was why Adam would never forgive his father.
“Adam...” It was his mother, looking at him with a faint smile. “Things aren’t quite that simple.”
“No, they aren’t, because I also want to know why the hell did you allow him to do this! I mean, I’m your son and you’re my mother! You should’ve been present in my life!” He yelled at her, watching her ready to break down, but he forced himself to ignore that. “Sure, my father’s probably the one to blame for having forbidden you, a maid, from being present, but if you loved me like a mother loves her son... you would’ve done everything you could to be with me!” And that was why he’d also never forgive his mother.
“Adam, please...” His mother stepped again towards him, stretching out her arms. Tears welled in her eyes. “The way you say it looks as if I abandoned you-”
“And you did abandon me! Because, as far as I remember, not once did I see you in my whole life!”
Having both of them in front of him was surreal. Having the chance to burst out and tell them everything he’d hold inside him for so long... It was a relief of some sort. It completely shadowed the fact that he was with his mother for the first time ever.
“Why do you think I’m like my father? Something I’ve tried to avoid my entire life?” From the corner of his eye, he noticed his father’s head dropping, quitting. Oh, but Adam didn’t pity him at all. “You know why! It was because you weren’t here to stop me from committing my father’s mistakes!”
Pushing back the tears, his mother spoke without breaking, “Yes, but didn’t you find the love of your life by committing those same mistakes?” With that, his mother shut him up. She was right about that. By making the same mistake his father had... Adam had found the woman he really loved.
“I did find the love of my life, indeed.” He agreed, remembering all the times he could’ve been with Eva, if it hadn’t been for the fact that he didn’t want to be like his father and cheat on Rachel. Unfortunately, he ended up cheating, but...
Adam felt his mother’s hand grasping his arm. “There’s much more to this than you know, Adam, so like I said, this isn’t quite simple.”
Still, in his mind, he was paying attention to another voice – his father’s. ”I didn’t cheat on Gabriella, Adam. When I got involved with your mother... I had no one."
“Wait a minute...” Adam mumbled, stepping once towards the desk and leaving his mother behind him. Now something was really bugging him... If his father had been alone when he’d been involved with his mother, then why... why had he left his mother? Were they still together when he’d been born?
All sort of questions piled up in Adam’s mind, so he resumed asking the first, “If you weren’t with Gabi or anyone else at the time, then... why did you two just...?” Adam didn’t know how to say it. Broke up? Abandoned each other? It felt weird being in that position, but he had to ignore the awkwardness if he wanted to get to the bottom of that story that had haunted him for years.
His parents looked everywhere else but at each other.
His mother looked sad and heartbroken. His father looked guilty and devastated. However, he replied, “That’s a complicated story, Adam.”
“I want to know.”
“It’s none of your business.” His father said straightforwardly.
“It is my fucking business, dad, and you know it.” He swore, feeling the anger growing inside him again. After all, he was giving them a chance to explain why had that situation happened in the first place, and his father was telling he had nothing to do with it? “I am like you because I grew up without my mother. I want to know why she wasn’t there.”
“Don’t... mom.” He said the word, for the first time in his life. After thinking his mother had died and he’d never meet her, there he was, calling her mom. “Tell me, dad. Tell me the truth. Was it because she was a maid?”
His father suddenly sunk in his chair and didn’t have the guts to look at him. “It’s more than that.”
“Then tell me what it was.” He insisted. “I deserve-”
“I abandoned your father in the first place.” He heard behind him. It was his mother speaking. Slowly, Adam looked over his shoulder. “I gave up.”
“That’s not true.” His father said abruptly, and Adam focused on him again. He was staring at the woman he’d been involved with. But, losing courage again, he dropped his head. “I was the one who decided to abandon your mother. I just couldn’t be with her.”
“Can’t you two just tell me the fucking truth?” Adam burst out, staring at both of his parents. “Hell, if you didn’t want me, might as well say it, right now!” He yelled at his mother, though his own words struck him in a way that broke his own heart.
“Oh, Adam, I wanted you with all of my heart! I-”
“Then why did you give up on me?”
“Your mother gave up on you,” His father suddenly broke in the conversation, his voice unwavering. “Thinking that having you in my life would make me feel better about everything that had happened at the time.”
Adam’s reaction was to just... freeze, and in his mind, only one question hang, what the fuck does that mean?
His mother left him, gave him to his father when he was a baby as if he was some fucking present, hoping he would change his father for better?
“I was a mess when your mother left,” His father added, not having the guts to look at them both. “I just... I couldn’t... I’d lost all reason to live. If you’d seen me, you’d been ashamed of me, son.”
Adam just stared at his father. He tried to imagine him back then, but the only picture that hung on his mind was his father acting like... he always acted – as if he didn’t love anyone and hated everybody.
Did that mean... that having him by his side didn’t change much?
And did it imply that he didn’t mean much to his mother? After all, she did give him away to his father just so he could get better and she never really tried to contact him.
Were they excuses for real?
“I can’t believe this...” He muttered, utterly swept off by what he’d discovered. “I can’t believe I mean nothing to you two.”
“Don’t say that, Adam,” His mother pleaded, clinging to him as tears were shed once more. “Things didn’t happen like that! You mean more to me and your father than you think! There were other happenings that... God, do you really believe that giving up on you was easy? I-”
“Apparently, it was!” He cut her off, shoving her hands away since he couldn’t just stand her touch. His anger had grown into a blinding fury, and his eyes blazed with wrath and hate. “How can you say those things, when you have just admitted you gave up on me, and didn’t try to talk to me for over twenty years? I mean nothing to you, and so... you mean nothing to me!”
His mother’s jaw fell open and she gasped in shock, and Adam knew right there that he’d broken her heart. Still, he didn’t care. He didn’t, frankly, because his mother hadn’t cared about him either. She’d deserted him just for the sake of his father, who apparently still remained the same person!
Maybe he was being selfish, but his mother had acted just like he did when she gave up on him because of his father.
“Don’t talk to your mother like that, Adam!” His father suddenly yelled, drawing Adam’s attention to him. Looking into his father’s blue eyes... it was like fuel to that fury that burned wildly inside him.
“You don’t get to give me orders, dad!” Adam yelled, watching his father flinch with his thundering voice. “You don’t, because, which father wouldn’t change with his son’s presence? It’s feels as if... I mean nothing to you! Now everything makes sense! Everything! That was why you treated me so coldly throughout my life! You just... You just don’t care!”
“Don’t say that, Adam, you’re not thinking straight-”
“You two don’t love me! You two are not my parents! How can you be, when you don’t love me as one should love a son?”
He stared at his parents, and felt that his world was about to collide.
“Adam, I had to give you up because-”
“Don’t touch me,” He spat when his mother approached him once more, yearning for him to listen to her next excuse. He wasn’t worried that he was breaking his mother’s heart or his father’s. It didn’t matter, because they’d broken his.
They’d treated him as if he was something they could use, not someone they should love and nurture. Thus, they too meant nothing to him.
“I’m leaving,” He stated, gazing at his father now. “I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back. I can’t stand being in the same house than you. Not only did you hide the truth from me, but... you finally let me know I mean nothing to you.”
And before his parents could see his eyes swollen with tears, he spun around and stormed out of his office.
“Adam!” His mother called him outside his father’s office. “Come back! Please, don’t leave us, I-”
“Let him go,” It was his father’s voice. Of course he was saying that. He wanted him out of his house, because he just didn’t care about him. They meant nothing to each other, and that was just how things worked.
At some point, he stopped listening to his mother’s sobs and protests, and found Deena in the hallway. He looked at her, and forced himself to sound calm before a word came from his mouth. However, he utterly failed at that. “Tell me where Eva is. I need to see her and talk to her. I need to be with her.”
More than ever, he needed Eva. He had to be with her, and he needed to hold her in his arms, and let her know he’d made his choice, and that she’d been the one he’d chosen. He knew that the moment he’d disclose his decision to her, everything would be okay. Eva would take him back, and he’d be happy. It didn’t matter if his parents didn’t care about him, because Eva did, and she loved him regardless of his flaws. She’d let him know how much he meant to her, and that there was someone in the world that really wanted him.
“Adam, what happened?” Deena enquired, aware of the look on his face, knowing he was about to break down if he didn’t have what he wanted.
"Nothing,” He snarled, “Now tell me where Eva is, Deena, because I’m not sure I can remain this calm until I see her again.”
“What did you parents tell you? Why are you acting like-”
“Just fucking tell me where Eva is, Deena!” Adam roared, and he watched Deena suck in a breath both in surprise and fear. If Eva had been there... She wouldn’t have cared about his anger, she would’ve just come to him, and hold him, because she saw beyond all that! Blinking away tears that were about to hand him in, Adam pleaded, “I need her, Deena, I need her so bad.”
“She’s at this house I own.” Deena finally gave in, swallowing dryly. “It’s about twenty minutes away from here.” Fearfully, she told him the directions, and then she added, “Adam, please don’t hurt-”
“Of all people, Deena,” He started, holding Deena’s frightened gaze. “Eva would be the last person I’d harm.” And determined to be with her, he spun around, and walked away.
His car was out of the garage which saved him time and trouble, so he just unlocked it, climbed inside, and started the engine, driven by the will-power to be with Eva, and tell her that she was the one he’d want to spend the rest of his life with, regardless of what his family thought.
Why would he even consider his family’s opinion, anyway?
They didn’t care about him! They’d treated him as if he was some object they could give each other! Was that what they called love? Adam could be more than broken and damaged, but he knew what love was! And the way his father and mother had treated him, lied to him... that wasn’t love. That was nothing.
His father had let him believe that he’d treated him the way he had because he really cared about him, but apparently, Adam meant nothing to him! That’s why he’d treated him throughout his life with such merciless disdain! And from what they’d told him, his presence was supposed to improve his father’s situation, but such didn’t happen!
Thanks to all of that, Adam grew up to become the same man his father was – a heartless bastard! But this time... No, this time he would be different. He wouldn’t abandon Eva. Never.
And then, there was also his mother, who claimed she loved him, but hadn’t done a thing to contact him over the years. How could that be? She tried to tell him there were other reasons, but there was no point staying there to listen to more lies. What she’d told him had been enough – she just didn’t care enough about him to keep him, and had given him to his father as a fucking present, without even trying to get in touch with her own son.
But why had they broken up, anyway, if his father hadn’t been married at the time? Why had his mother acted like that?
Well, it didn’t matter.
The damage was done.
By the time he arrived to the house Deena had told him about, his eyes were puffy and red.
He blinked remaining tears away, and took a deep breath. He couldn’t walk in looking like that. Eva deserved much, much better. So Adam felt compelled to stay in the car until he calmed down.
When that happened, a few minutes after, the blue-eyed man climbed out of the expensive red Porsche, and walked towards the door after he locked the car.
Nervously running a hand through his dark brown hair with jaw length, his heart skipped a beat when he finally lifted his arm and knocked, trying to ignore the pain that assaulted him.
He knocked again – firmer and louder.
Still no answer.
“Don’t do this to me, Eva...” He mumbled, desperation taking over him.
However, he wouldn’t quit just yet. He knocked again, and again, and again.
It paid off. The door suddenly swung inward, and when Adam looked down with his icy blue eyes, he stared at Eva, and her state made him gasp.
The woman he loved looked worse than him. Her hair was an utter mess, and her dark blue eyes were swollen, stormier, and tears still hang from her black eyelashes. Her cheeks were red, probably from wiping off the tears that had fallen down her tanned face, because of one lousy mistake he’d made. She was wearing some old clothes, slightly baggy on her petite body, which meant they probably didn’t belong to her.
Eva didn’t say a word. Instead, she spun around, and walked inside, leaving the door open so that Adam would walk in.
“Kid...” He whispered, his voice no longer thunderous or angry – just heartbroken. “Say something.”
“Why?” She mumbled, not turning around as Adam followed her down a hallway. “So you... you c-can just... ignore me? Wasn’t that what you did... when you went after... What’s her name? Ra... Rach...”
“Rachel.” He uttered, his eyebrow shooting up. Why the hell didn’t she remember Rachel’s name?
“Yeah, Rachel.” She repeated as she walked in the kitchen. “What did she... t-tell you when you went after h-her? Wasn’t she happy? Who wouldn’t, a-anyway?” And before Adam got the chance to say something, he was listening to her sobs while she kept her back turned at him and touched something on the kitchen’s counter.
“I didn’t go after her, Eva, I-”
“Don’t... lie, anymore, Adam. I know you... you went after her. I k-know that.”
“Kid, I didn’t-”
“I am done with this bullshit, Adam.” Eva blurted out angrily, and then he watched her take something to her mouth and tossing it down her throat. “I am d-done with your lies! I’m out of hope... and I d-don’t want you to tell me anything, b-because I just won’t believe you... a-anymore!”
That wasn’t Eva talking. Something was very wrong.
“What are you saying?” This time he yelled, because the frustration was now too big to ignore. “Eva, I love you!”
“You said you loved me many times before, Adam.” Eva yelled likewise, but still wouldn’t turn around. She kept her head low, and her sobs were still clear. “But you always went back to... to your fiancée!
“I had no chance before!”
“Yes, you had!” She roared, her voice vacillating due to something. Pain? Sadness? Pressure? Or was it something else? And why wasn’t she letting him speak? Why wouldn’t she listen to him, when she had so many times before? “Oh yes, you could’ve gone against your family!”
“Damn it, Eva, it wasn’t that easy!” He yelled as well, not being able to control that flare of anger. “Will you please look at me?”
“I was ready to stand my ground by your side!”
“God, Eva, I...” Furiously, he strolled towards her, his temper momentarily getting the best of him. When he reached her, and obliged her to turn around, he noticed the nearly empty bottle of vodka that stood on the kitchen counter. He sucked in a breath, utterly shocked at what he’d just discovered. “Have you been drinking, kid?”
“Instead, a-after everything I went through because of y-you...” She continued slowly, still sobbing, paying no heed to his question. But then... Then, she looked him in the eyes, and Adam noticed fury blazing in hers. “You just went after her! You deserted me, Adam!”
“I know, kid, I know...” He uttered pleadingly, knowing she was right. He’d indeed abandoned her, but just because he wouldn’t have been capable to hold that wrath that had flooded his body at the time. “But I’m here now, I’m ready to-”
“I don’t care I-if you’re here!” She yelled, pushing him away, but she was so drunk that she completely failed at it, and when she tried to step aside, she would’ve fallen if he hadn’t grabbed her. If Adam knew he’d find her in that state...he would’ve never left the house. No, not if that meant Eva would get drunk to forget about the heartbreak. “I don’t want y-you anymore, Adam! I’m done!”
No. She couldn’t be saying that.
“Kid, you’re drunk, you-”
“Yes, I-I am quitting, Adam. After everything I went through b-because of you... I can’t take it any longer.”
No. No, never that. She really didn’t mean it.
“I love you, Eva, you can’t do this.” He pleaded, grasping her shoulders so she wouldn’t walk away from him. She just couldn’t. He loved her. She’d been the one that had really understood him, other than Alexis! Why was she saying those things, anyway? It was surely because she’d been drinking. It had to be that! “I’m here now, I want you, and I’m not giving up on you!”
“You’ve said that many times before, Adam,” Eva said, her eyes glazed, and suddenly out of strength to fight with him. “You were never really mine, were you?”
His jaw fell open, as he stood there, completely dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe that Eva, the one person who’d claimed she wouldn’t give up on him, was telling him she was quitting. “You’re just going to quit, is that it?”
“I’m not quitting just because I decided to quit, Adam.” She said, wiping off the tears that fell down her tanned features. Yet, she continued, and even though Adam could see how much it hurt her, she still wouldn’t change her decision. “Don’t think it’s because I don’t have the courage to fight anymore. I quit... because I just can’t bear the pain anymore. I quit.”
Emptiness – that was how he felt the moment Eva said those words.
She was quitting.
Eva, the woman he loved, was quitting because he hadn’t had the balls to stand up for her when he should’ve. She was letting him go, because he’d deserted her countless times when he should’ve told everyone she was the one he longed for. He was going to be perpetually lost and alone, because he had now lost the chance to stay with the one person who was the light he clung to when he most needed guidance, or to just be held and listen to her saying that she loved him regardless of how damaged he was.
“I know you’re lying, Eva, I love you, I’d do anything to-”
“I don’t care anymore, Adam.” She cut him off heartlessly, the fury in her eyes breaking his heart. He’d never seen her like that. Not even after he’d proposed to Rachel. She’d been furious, but now... she was just completely heartbroken because he wasn’t man enough to tell everyone he wanted her – and only her.
He tried to blink away the tears, but it wasn’t worth it because his voice wavered with everything that was coming down on him. “You can’t do this to me, you can’t quit when you said you’d never do that.”
“After last night...” She walked away from him, as if she just couldn’t bear the proximity, and when she glanced over her shoulder, she added mercilessly, “I realized you’re just not worth fighting for.”
With that, his heart broke right there.
He stared at her, he tried to speak, but he just gagged on his protests. The way Eva gazed at him, piercing him with the flaming fury in her dark blue eyes... Was she that decided to give up? After months of being with him, she was willing to throw it all away because of one lousy mistake he’d made?
Despairing, he mumbled, “Kid...”
However, Eva shook her head, and pointed towards the hallway. “Will you please just go now?”
“I love you!”
“I love you too, Adam,” She stated, but her eyes were so lacking emotion, that Adam knew he’d lost her before he had the chance to realize she was the woman of his life. “But I can’t bear it anymore, so please... leave.”
“After everything we’ve built... You’re going to give up?”
“I’ve already gave up.” After saying that, he watched her walking away, and disappearing into the darkness.
A maelstrom of feelings surged in him, but only one stood out – loneliness.
He’d lost. He’d lost the one person that could’ve helped heal.
There was no point in going after her, because she’d walked out on him. She’d told him she quit. She didn’t want him anymore, because he hadn’t been bold enough to stand by her side when she would’ve stand by his.
Dragging himself towards the way out, he knew he was alone in the world more than ever now. No one wanted him. No one really liked him. Maybe Eva hadn’t really loved him, after all... hadn’t she quit just like that? He’d come to pledge his love for her, yet she didn’t want him anymore. He’d hurt her too much, and her heart was too shattered to be mended by him. Then, there were his parents. They both didn’t love him either, like Adam had forced himself to believe regardless of everything. His presence in his father’s life hadn’t had any impact, and his mother had easily given up on him.
When he walked outside, he headed towards his car, and climbed inside, but he didn’t drive away. Instead, his arms went over the steering wheel, and he buried his head there.
Then, he cried.
He cried, because the woman he loved didn’t want him, and because his parents didn’t care about him.
He was alone.
And there was no point in living if the most important people in his life didn’t love him as he loved them, was there?