Chapter 3 - The Taste of Christmas
There was this bang. Later I managed to work out that it must have just been the door shutting. But, at that moment, it was all too much for me and this hot stream of piss just poured down my legs.
I want to make it clear, I don’t normally have that sort of problem…
But I was… like… very, very frightened…
And it’s not as if I’d been able to go to the toilet any time recently.
Of course, as the puddle of piss grew, the floor got slippery and my feet shot out from underneath me. I was left dangling from my arms… and because of the way they were spread, it seemed to put my whole weight onto my chest, and that made breathing pretty much impossible. I just about managed to haul myself back onto my feet but, because they were spread so far apart, pretty soon my leg muscles were trembling with the effort.
It didn’t take me long to work out that I was in big trouble here. The position was getting… like… really, really painful - but if I slipped out of it, I was pretty much going to be crucified!
After a couple of minutes, the strain in my thighs became just unbearable but, when I tried to shuffle my feet round a bit, they… like… slipped out from under me and I was left dangling from my arms again. In this wild panic thing, I struggled to haul myself back to my feet but I couldn’t get any sort of grip on that slippery floor. I desperately tried to call out to the man, to promise to be good, but the gag turned it into nothing more than a meaningless grunt. He wasn’t there anyway. I was totally on my own.
At last I managed to balance myself on my feet again and stood there gasping as my tears flowed freely. I tried to force myself to stay calm… the situation was bad enough already but I knew that the panicking thing was just going to make it a whole lot worse.
I have no way of knowing how long I was stuck like that but it felt like pretty much forever. I sort of fell asleep a couple of times but, whenever I did that, my legs sort of gave out and my weight collapsed onto my arms and I was kind of torn back awake with the violent panic of suffocation. At some point, I must have crapped myself too. I mean… I don’t even really remember it happening but the floor was suddenly a whole lot more slippery and it was pretty clear from the stink what had happened.
After I don’t know how many times of slipping off my feet and pretty much passing out as I struggled to get them back on the floor, I realised that I was going to die here. There was even a bit of a treacherous voice in the back of my head telling me to just give up and let it happen
But the stubborn heart of me kind of refused to listen to it and, even though I knew it was pointless, I just fought on.
But gradually this… like… overwhelming weariness thing sort of flooded over me. It was almost as if I was watching myself from the outside as my body struggled to even breathe as every muscle sort of cramped and spasmed.
But still I kept on fighting….
Kept on fighting…
I must have missed the man returning to the room but there was suddenly this arm round my shoulders, easing me down onto the floor as my wrists were released from above my head.
“There, there, Babygirl,” he whispered as he stroked my hair. “It’s all over now. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Then there was the wonderful sort of relief of warm water as he cleaned the mess off me. I sort of knew I ought to be way beyond pissed off as he casually washed over my private bits but I was way, way beyond caring about any of that sort of stuff.
I’d even sort of forgotten that it was him who had strung me up in the first place. I was just so relieved that it was over and I found myself kind of snuggling into him and making these funny little whimpering noises in gratitude.
Then these… like… muscly arms sort of lifted me up and carried me across the room. He popped me down gently on a dry towel on the bed thing and I just sort of sat there, still shaking and gently sobbing, as he cleaned up the stinking mess I’d made.
Then he came back over and started patting down my bottom bits with a towel. I guess I should have been pretty pissed off by that too but, by then, I was way beyond any sort of modesty stuff.
“OK, Babygirl,” he said when he was done, “I’m going to remove your gag now. Can I trust you to be a good girl?”
Of course I nodded at that. I mean… I properly understood now that I was… like… totally in his power and that there was just no point in me trying to fight it anymore. I was just going to lose…
And suffer badly.
So he took my gag off and I felt this… like… huge wave of relief. He let me have a couple of seconds… to get used to the whole breathing thing again, I guess… but then he sort of reminded me that he was there with a, “So, what do you say?”
“Thank you, Master,” I managed to sort of gasp through my sobs.
“Good, Babygirl,” he said, leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. He sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulders and I sort of nestled my head into him.
He held me for a while as my sobs started to die down a bit. I guess I sort of knew that I ought to hate him for stringing me up like that but, after everything that had happened, it just felt so good to have him hold me like that and I found myself kind of melting into him.
“Now,” he said at last, “Would you like something to eat and drink?”
“Yes, please…” I managed to answer. “Yes, please, Master.”
“Good Girl! You’re learning!” he said and I could sort of hear the smile in his voice.
Of course the Ro bit of me told me that I was being a traitor and that I ought to be fighting this but, really, I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do. He had… like… totally broken me. I was totally in his power and I had no choice but to… like… humiliate myself and sort of try to humour him however he wanted.
He stepped away for a moment and then I felt a mug of something warm and milky being pressed to my lips.
I started to move my hands up but he cleared his throat in a warning sort of a way and I quickly dropped them back down onto my lap. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry, Master.”
I just knew that he was smiling as he gently stroked my hair, sort of acknowledging my apology, but I just had to suck it up and let him give me the drink like a good girl.
And, when I had finished drinking, he wiped my mouth and then began to spoon something that tasted a bit like porridge into my mouth, except that this stuff had bits of fruit and nuts in it and there were some funny spices or something.
“This is delicious,” I said without thinking. “It tastes of Christmas.”
“Thank you,” he answered and he gave a bit of a chuckle.
And, funnily enough, it wasn’t a nasty, ‘I’ve got you chained up in my dungeon,’ chuckle. It was a ‘that’s a funny description,’ chuckle. He leaned in and kissed me on top of my head.
I really didn’t know what I should make of that. It sort of felt nice and comforting and reassuring and everything… but I sort of knew it was all kinds of wrong that having him kiss me should make me feel like that.
“I enjoy cooking,” he explained as I was still trying to work out what I ought to be feeling about that kiss. “The ‘Christmas’ taste is nutmeg and cinnamon.”
‘OK… this has now got officially weird,’ I found myself thinking as he continued to feed me that delicious porridge. ‘Chained to a bed in a dungeon… and exchanging recipe suggestions’.
“There we go, Babygirl,” he said when we were done, wiping my mouth with a napkin. “Is that better?”
“Yes, thank you, Master,” I replied promptly.
I started to relax but, when I felt his hand on my naked shoulder, I started feeling a bit uncomfortable… but, funnily enough, not all that uncomfortable. I mean, clearly he’s a weirdo… he’s got me chained up in his dungeon so the weirdo bit goes pretty much without saying… but he seems to be more of the touchy-feely sort of weirdo than the tying me down and raping me kind.
I guessed this was as good a moment as any so I went for it. “Master,” I said. “Please would you remove the blindfold?”
“Babygirl,” he began and, when he said it, my inner Ro gave a tiny surge of anger - pretty much the first one since the end of his horrible punishment thing. That name was definitely going to totally piss me off but, as I thought about it, I managed to work out that it was quite a long way down the list of things that were pissing me off at that moment.
And there was absolutely nothing I could do about any of them… and it was probably not even a good idea to let him even know that they were pissing me off.
So I had to… like… just suck it up.
“Two things,” he explained. His tone told me that I was not in trouble, he was just letting me know how the world is. “Firstly, I decide when I give you treats. You are not to nag. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Master,” I responded promptly.
“And, in answer to your question, no, you may not have the blindfold removed. You have not yet earned that privilege.”
I took a deep breath and managed to say, “Thank you, Master,” whilst keeping a grip on the whole anger and frustration thing that was kind of bubbling away inside me. I already knew that letting it out wasn’t going to do me any good at all!
He gave me another kiss on top of the head and I just knew that he was… like… praising me for the whole self control bit.
And, for some stupid reason that I didn’t even nearly understand, that made me feel really good about myself!
“But I thought that, for tonight,” he went on, “we might be able to manage with just a single ankle restraint. It will be much more comfortable for you to sleep like that but…”
He paused for a bit and I could pretty much feel his eyes burning holes in me. Then at last he went on, “That is, of course, dependent on your promising to be good.”
“I promise, Master. Thank you, Master.” My words were pretty much tumbling over each other in my excitement.
Of course Ro hated me for behaving like a pathetic lap dog but I knew I didn’t have any choice. There was no way that I was going to survive another one of his punishments… and I really did like the idea of losing most of those horrible restraint things.
“Ok then, let’s get you ready for bed,” he said. He helped me to lie down and then freed both my wrists and one of my ankles. I even remembered to thank him. Then I felt a wave of relief as I stretched my back and rolled my shoulders, enjoying the chance to move freely at last.
“You look like a little pussy cat when you do that,” he told me with a laugh as I stretched.
“Meow,” I said with a bit of a smile as I carried on with my stretching thing. But then Ro reminded me that I was meant to… like… hate this git and I was sort of pissed off with myself for being so pathetic… selling myself out like this by trying to humour him.
But I quickly forgot about the whole selling myself out thing when he chuckled and said, “Let’s wrap our little pussycat up then,” and he spread this light sheet over me. I mean… it wasn’t cold, but, after being starkers for so long, that cover made me feel all safe and comfy and sort of stupidly relaxed.
And the feeling sort of grew as he gently smoothed the sheet over my back… but it did cause a bit of a stutter sort of thing in my breathing and spread this funny sort of warmth through my tummy. And I found myself kind of leaning into the contact rather than flinching away.
I mean… I sort of knew that I really ought to hate him for stringing me up but I couldn’t help the whole relief and gratitude thing because he had let me down again.
And his hand, stroking gently over my back, sort of eased me into this deep, dreamless sleep.