Chapter 41 - Quiet Thoughts
I didn’t quite know what to do with myself when I made it back to the… like… security of the downstairs rooms so I sort of dropped to my knees by the table to wait for my master. And when I heard him appearing, I basically sort of fell into my familiar kow-tow thing. I mean… he was getting a bit less fussy about that sort of thing now and would probably not have been excessively grumpy if I had been reading in my corner but, after so many new things in one day, it felt quite… like… reassuring to slip back into the old, familiar way of doing stuff.
And I guess he knew what I needed because he just sort of gently ran his hand over my bottom but let me wait like that as he set the table and lit the candles and dimmed the lights.
And only when everything was ready did he help me to stand up… and then he sat down and pulled me onto his lap.
And, laid out on the table in front of us, there were about a million lovely little blue and white bowls with all sorts of different chinese style eaty-type things in them. They were up on a couple of blocks of some sort of sparkly stone - and I could sort of tell from the heat coming off them that they were there to keep the food hot.
“I didn’t know what you’d like so I ordered a bit of everything,” he explained as he took a funny looking bit of wood out of a paper envelope and then kind of snapped it in two to make a pair of chopsticks.
We shared a look for a moment. I sort of wanted to thank him for organising this amazing-looking meal for me but I could tell that he wanted one of his lovely silence things… so I tried to say it with my eyes instead.
And then he started to feed me.
That meal was just… like… spectacular… beautiful… amazing. And my master was totally amazing. I just sat on his lap as he fed me… as he fed us… and we hardly spoke as we shared this totally intense sort of togetherness. He was watching me so… like… intently… and was so totally inside my head… that he basically knew when I was ready for the next delicious nibbly bit… or maybe another lump of the same one!
We ate slowly… like… appreciating every mouthful… and we must have been sitting together for well over an hour when he looked at me and said, “You’re done.”
It wasn’t a question. He already knew it was true. So I just smiled at him.
But then I could sort of tell that he wanted to talk to me seriously for a bit. I looked at him and he nodded so I hopped down off his lap and dropped into my ‘listening to my master’ kneeling thing.
“There are a couple of things I need to tell you,” he began when I was ready.
“Tomorrow, I plan on introducing you to Mrs Braithwaite, She’s my… I supposed you’d call her my housekeeper.”
He must have noticed me tense up because his hand immediately went to my hair and he said, “As you’ll see tomorrow, you have absolutely no reason to be concerned about my relationship with Mrs Braithwaite. She’s an older lady and she likes to try to mother me. She will indubitably mother you.”
“Where I would understand your concern - but again there is no need - is with my other girls.”
I tensed as I sort of imagined this stupid picture of a whole series of cellars with a girl in every one. “Where, who, what…?” I sort of spluttered.
“Five seconds, Babygirl,” he told me, leaning down and kissing me on the head.
So I forced myself to do the five second thing for him and then asked, “Who are they? Where are they? And most important, I guess, what sort of a relationship have you got with them now?”
He gave me a bit of a smile… I guess it was supposed to both reassure me and tell me that they were good questions!
“OK. There’s Karen, who’s living up near Leeds with her husband, Andy, who’s an old school friend of mine… he’s the one who taught me how to make Yorkshire pudding. Anyway, I see them a couple of times a year and I’m godfather to their baby daughter.”
“You’d make a brilliant godfather,” I said sort of. casually as I started to relax a bit.
“Why, thank you, Babygirl.” He gave me a smile.
“Then there’s Rebecca who’s studying German at University. She has a boyfriend and introduces me to her friends as her guardian. Oh, and she’s invited me to her graduation ceremony the week after next.”
“And then there’s Tracy…” he let out this sigh thing. “I’m afraid she’s slipped back into her old life: drugs and prostitution. I’ve looked her up a couple of times and tried to get some food into her… some sort of medical attention but there are limits to what I can achieve,” he let out another sigh.
He was quiet for a long time and then said, sort of simply, “I failed.”
I was… like… totally shocked at his tone. He just sounded so upset that I had to climb up onto his lap and put my arms around his neck. He held me to him and kissed me as I just sat there and snuggled him for a bit.
And, for once, I had to kiss away his tears.
At last he got his head back together so I hopped back down. “Have you… I mean… do you…” I sort of started but I really didn’t know how to ask the question.
“Five seconds,” he said again.
“OK,” I said when the five seconds were up. “Where did you find them and did you sleep with them?”
“Babygirl!” he sort of exploded and I could tell he was sort of telling me off. “You can’t really expect me to answer questions of that sort. I have to respect their confidentiality. You’ll have to ask them when you meet them.”
I thought about it then nodded. I suppose it was true, really. I wouldn’t want him telling other people that sort of stuff about me.
“But, to set your mind at rest, I can tell you a couple of things: all three chose to leave of their own accord; and I haven’t had sexual relationships with anyone else since you’ve been with me.”
I thought about that then gave a bit of a nod. I guess that was the best I could possibly hope for.
“Oh, and one last thing… When you meet Mrs Braithwaite, she’s going to assume that you are a recovering drug addict. Whilst she certainly won’t question you about it directly, I would be extremely grateful if you could avoid saying anything that would disillusion her.”
“So you want her to think I’m a drug addict?” I said. I mean… I’d do what he asked, of course, but I was pretty puzzled by that one.
“Recovering drug addict,” he said as if that made heaps more sense. “If you think about it, Babygirl, in the eyes of the law, I kidnapped you and then kept you locked up in my cellar for six months. Should you choose to tell the authorities about this, I will be going to prison for a long time.”
I went quiet for a bit as I thought about this. I mean… I guess it was basically sort of true. “But I would never…” I began but then I sort of trailed off. It was just such a stupid idea… I mean… he was my lovely master!
“I know you wouldn’t, Babygirl, but, should you ever change your mind, I shall have to live with the consequences. However I have no wish to involve Mrs Braithwaite as an accessory after the fact… or even put her in a position where she is obliged to decide where her loyalties lie.”
I thought about this then gave a nod. I could sort of see where he was coming from. He was doing the ‘looking after the people around him’ thing… I guess that’s just the kind of man he is!
He looked down on me for a bit then gave me a bit of a smile. “So, do you have any more questions, Babygirl,?” he asked
I had to think about this for a bit before replying, “I don’t think so, Master.”
“And are you feeling a little better now? Somewhat more secure?”
“Yes, thank you, Master.”
“Excellent! Then that means it’s…” he did this totally over the top dramatic pause thing… “punishment time!”
We shared a bit of a smile but then he turned all serious on me. “I want you to go into your bathroom and prepare yourself,” he told me. “I will come to you when I deem you are ready.”
I gave him a silent nod to acknowledge his instruction and then he helped me to stand up and I went on into my bathroom.
I didn’t know exactly what he would want but I had a fair idea that he would want me naked… and I even hopped quickly under the shower for him. Then I dried myself off and went to lie down on the bed, ready. I put on the blindfold and three of the restraints - I’d decided that he would almost certainly need those - but I couldn’t manage to put the last one on, on my own, so I just held it.
And then I waited for him…
And then I realised that he was basically expecting me to do a bit of serious thinking here.
So I thought about it and then I kind of managed to work out that this whole thing was a punishment - just as much as one of his dangling from the ceiling or his nose against the wall things - and that I should start treating it like that… rather than like some sort of freaky, weird sex type thing.
And then I managed to work out that if I wanted any sort of sex thing off him - whether it was the freaky weird stuff or the ordinary kind - all I had to do was let him know and he would give me pretty much whatever I wanted.
Except that I sort of understood that he was never going to do the full sex thing with me as long as he was holding me here against my will… I kind of knew he wouldn’t think that was right.
And then I kind of remembered that he wasn’t holding me here against my will any more. So that would mean…
And then I thought about the fact that I’d been a bad babygirl and that I ought to be concentrating on that… and on how I ought to reply when he asked me whether I had anything to say, rather than on the other stuff.
So I tried to keep my mind on that instead.
And, at last, when he decided that he’d given me enough time to sort my head out, he appeared. He studied me for a bit and, even though I couldn’t see him, I just knew he was kind of appreciating the sight of my naked body.
“Do you have anything to say, Babygirl?” he asked at last.
“Thank you for punishing me, Master,” I replied formally. “Thank you for reminding me that the girl must treat her master with respect at all times and that nothing has changed, just because you’ve given me a bit more freedom.”
“Good answer,” he replied. He stepped across to me and fastened the last shackle around my wrist. “Now quote rule eleven,” he told me
“The girl may say ‘stop’ at any time to any form of sexual activity. She will never be punished or disadvantaged for doing so.”
I did sort of feel a little bit nervous as I heard the cables doing their whirring thing but, deep down inside, the fact that I knew my master… and that I knew that simple rule, made me feel totally safe.
A bit nervous but totally safe!
My arms and legs were pulled apart until I was lying, spread out in this sort of X shape for him… I guess he had warned… or maybe promised… me that he was going to have me all splayed out for him. And when he was happy with that, he moved down to the bottom of the bed and, even though I couldn’t see what was going on, I could sort of feel his eyes on me.
And for a long time he did nothing… I guess he was just… like… enjoying the scenery.
And then he set to work on my body with his hands, his mouth and even his teeth.
But, even though It felt sort of nice, for some reason, it basically just wasn’t winding me up like that sort of thing normally would.
“Oh good,” he said after a bit, “you are attempting to resist.”
And I suppose it was true really. I mean… I hadn’t exactly been thinking about it but, with the thought of what was to come, I couldn’t exactly lie back and enjoy it.
“It will make your ultimate crushing humiliation all the more satisfying! You realise, of course, that I can keep this sort of thing going for hours… and hours… and hours!”