Melody's Song

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I used to think I couldn't exist without him. I learned how to. But what if now I realize those are just words. Words that I want to be true. I'm perfectly fine on my own. I use to not be. I used to think I couldn't exist without him, but I learned how to. I learned how to become the desert without rain. I adapted to live without him. I learned to bury everything we had six feet deep so it would never surface again... but when it came to him... Genesis Jones. My life. My heart. It was all too easy for those feelings to resurface. I can't help but let him tear me apart again. I can't help but let him walk back into my life like nothing happened. I can't help but let those feelings resurface no matter how much he hurt me. No matter how much he tore me apart. I just hope this time when he tears me apart... it's a lot more gently... For our daughters sake - the daughter he knows nothing about - I hope he tears me apart more gently.

Romance / Drama
Amber Walker
4.8 60 reviews
Age Rating:


Hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone

Hell - Casey

For a moment, the briefest of moments, I swore I saw her eyes. Through the crowd of a thousand people, I swore I saw her.

But she couldn’t be here.

Out there among the endless crowd.

She would never come all the way to New York after what I did to her. I’d be lucky to ever get a glance of her after everything.

Who am I kidding?

I deserve never to see her again...

I try to clear my head, shake the idea out, because how could I possibly see her up on stage? How could I see her amber-colored eyes - that make me fall to my knees - through the shining lights?

It’s the drugs,’ I try to tell myself; ’You’re hallucinating.’

I hear Brandon call to me, asking if I’m alright for the hundred and fiftieth goddamn time…

Ignoring him, I right myself and grab for my mic stand. I flash the audience a smile I save for only them and forget all about the playlist that’s set by the label because I don’t want to sing what’s next.

Tonight I don’t care.

Tonight I want to let out something other than her song.

The song that I wrote for her all those years ago; the song I thought for sure would let me win her heart...

You know what?

Fuck that song.

Fuck the label.

“How about a cover song!?” I scream out to the audience. The crowd goes crazy and my other bandmates shoot me concerned looks and then share the same looks with each other.

I roll my eyes and turn pointing to each one of them, “You guys don’t have to worry, this is all me -” turning back to the audience - “I don’t do cover songs often, and probably won’t for a while, but I’ve been on a Blue October kick lately -” several from the audience scream, adding to my atmosphere. My smile encompasses my face, “You guys know them?!”

There are more screams and I laugh strumming on my guitar, “Well, then, here’s Hate Me by Blue October.”

I begin to strum on my guitar, letting my mind slip as the words flow to me easily.

Taking a deep breath in I close my eyes and right before I do, I swear I see her eyes again.

Making singing this song even harder.

Harder than it should be.

Taking one more deep breath in, I exhale the story of my life lately...

“I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head…”

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