“Finlay I hope this is some kind of a sick joke” she says her face completely deadpan, she’s stood up in protest and so did I.
I look down at her and sigh. Why isn’t she just telling me the truth?
“Look I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses, I know what your doing”
She crosses her arms to my response,
“Go on then what at I doing? Because I would like to know what you think I’m doing because I sure as hell don’t know!”
I take another step towards her,
“You got turned down at global and you saw me out side so you thought you could get to know me to finally get the fame you want and then you try and make me feel bad with you soppy ass story so you would be my friend”
Her mouth slightly opens,
“What soppy story?” She almost sounded hurt.
“The one about you bloody family, you got me to open up about my family and all you say about yours is your parents are with you anymore, well you know what you’re probably lying about it all and you have a perfectly happy fucking family you just wanted to act like a charity case, well bravo because you fooled me” she stayed silent for a minuet, this is it, Ive caught her out,
“God I thought you were different, but you’re out here just like the rest trying to get my fame, well guess what princess it ain’t going to happen, I saw straight though you” and with that said a sharp pain fell across my cheek making me stumble back, she slapped me. She fucking slapped me?!
“Finlay get your head out your fucking ass, yes I got turned down at global. No I didn’t intentionally want to know you, you where the one asking me to be friends not the other way round. Until the day I met you at Mathews school I didn’t have a fucking clue who you were!” A small tear running down her cheek but she carried on,
“And don’t you dare talk about my family you have no fucking clue what it means to have a broken family, I do everything for my little brother” she started to choke out a sob.
“If you really want to know follow me, if you really want to see the real me then follow me. If not then stay here and hang your head in fucking shame” she pulled out the phone I gave to her and slammed in into my chest on the way out, I hear the door open and close. She seemed so genuine, maybe this was all in my head.
I held my cheek and walked out to the jeep seeing Samantha already half way down the drive way, her car reaches the end of the drive way and turns left.
Once I get in the jeep i step on the gas to catch up with her.
The weather has taken a turn for the worst the rain pummels down on the windscreen obstructing my view but not enough that I can’t see Samantha’s car.
I’m not even sure why I’m doing this, maybe I just want some answers. The truth.
It takes no longer than 30 minuets until we reach a roughed up looking apartment complex, Samantha gets out her door making sure she locks the car, and I do the same.
I pull my hood up making sure nobody knew that it was me.
I follow her into the apartment complex, there’s no one waiting at reception, two of the windows are busted in, she lives here?
we climb 4 flights of stairs in complete silence, reaching a narrow corridor, Samantha opens a door with a sigh before she pushes it open and waits for me to walk in first.
As I walk in I see the place is kept very clean and organised, the kitchen and lounge are all in one room with only a small wall the size of a bar stool to separate them, there’s a small table where I’m guessing they have dinner.
I turn back to see Samantha standing by the door her face deadpan, but she gestures for me to carry on looking.
I walk down a narrow corridor seeing their bathroom consisted of a toilet, sink and shower.
On the opposite side of the bathroom there’s a door with the words ‘Mathews room’ written on it, I slowly push the door open seeing his bed in the middle of the room with a big feathers quilt covered in a spider man print and his spider man pjs folded on top of his pillow, his room is fairly organised, he has lots of craft stuff, and his own personal desk.
His room is decorated with pictures of his favourite superhero’s.
I close the door and see there is one room left. Samantha’s. I take in a sharp breath before opening her bedroom door seeing a double bed filling most of the space she doesn’t even have a quilt on her bed just a plane white sheet, her bedroom is very plain just a bed, wardrobe and draws.
I shiver slightly, her room is colder than the rest of the apartment, I look around to see that one of her windows have been broken and taped up poorly letting in the cold air.
I close the door again not wanting the cold air to get in the rest of the apartment.
She barely has anything and what ever she does have goes to Mathew, my body consumes itself with guilt. I made her feel shit about herself and she never lied to me once, I talked to her like she was nothing.
I bit my lip and walked back into the lounge seeing Samantha sat on the couch holding a photo of a man who looks like he’s in his forty’s. A few tears fall of Samantha cheek hitting the picture. I don’t think she know I’m here yet.
I clear my throat and ask if I can take a seat, she nods her head, still staying silent.
The couch is uncomfortable, it almost feels like all the springs are broken in it but I don’t complain, that’s the last thing I should be doing right now.
“Who is he?” I ask as she hasn’t taken her eyes of the photo, I look around seeing a small old tv that probably only plays one show. It’s been the only form of entertainment I’ve seen actually.
“He was my father” she breathed out the word ‘was’ as her lip quivered, another silent tear slid down her cheek.
“So much for a happy house” she took her eyes away from the photo of her father and on to me. Her eyes blood shot from crying; her cheeks puffy and red, her hair damp from the rain outside that covers the sides of her face.
I swallowed back a tear that wanted to escape my eyes, as I put myself in her position.
Losing everything she has, her family breaking apart bit by bit and there’s nothing she could do apart from save her brother from the life she’s in now by giving him the things she couldn’t have. And losing her father, losing the person you love most in your life, I couldn’t live without my father.
A father is your rock, the person you turn to when your lost and need help finding who you are, and all she has is a couple photos of him.
“Samantha I’m sor-”
“Get out” her face looked pained and full of hurt, her eyes glaze over with tear ready to roll down her cheeks.
The last this she should be right now is alone, and I’m the cause of this because I didn’t want to believe that someone could lose everything they have and still be happy with the pieces of a broken heart. Because all I do is think of myself and my fucking fame. Why didn’t I just ask her instead of accusing her of being a fucking gold digger.
My heart sinks at her words,
“Samantha I don-”
“Just leave, I don’t want you here” she sobs as she clutches the photo close to her chest.
I stand up and walk towards the door, as I open it I pause, I look over to see her still clutching the photo closer to her chest,
“I, I’m sorry” I bow my head in shame as I close the door behind me.
Either way Samantha was right I was going to hang my head in shame.
I walk out the building, reaching my jeep on the other side of the street.
jumping in the drivers side I don’t start the engine, I just sit there resting my head on the head rest.
A warm streak slid down my cold cheeks, at first I thought it was the rain that had made my hair wet but then another warm tear rolled down my cheek.
I breath in hard and wipe away my tear clearing my throats as if it never happened. I start the engine and drive back home.
I’m sorry Samantha.