8 - Punch me
Chasity’s heart is beating so fast it is hurting her chest. She feels she may pass out. She moves through the crowd toward Trevor not comprehending exactly what just happened between her and Tucker. His eyes seemed so different. She had never seen that look before and the way he just touched her sent pleasure up her arm. She cannot help but look back at him as she arrives at Trevor. Tucker’s eyes catch hers one last time and she wants to go back to talk to him. She just wants this feeling to go away. Him holding her hand to stop her and him being so close made her want him. She does not want to feel this way about him. His eyes looking so deeply into hers caused her to feel knots in her stomach. The smell of his aftershave was so tranquilizing she almost lost her self before she saw Stormy start walking toward them. That is why she turned to leave. The thought of him with Stormy caused her to cringe and hurt inside. What is wrong with me?
She feels Trevor’s arm wrap around her and she feels so fake for the first time in her life. She is putting on makeup to be someone else and get attention. It makes her mad at herself as she looks over at Hannah. “Bye!” Hannah sounds so excited as she bids Chasity good night and winks at her. She must have seen the look of being unsure in Chasity’s eyes because she pulls her in for a hug and whispers in her ear. “Don’t worry. Trevor has condoms.”
“What?” Chasity begins feeling nervous. She did not want to sleep with Trevor. She did not even know him that well.
“Bye.” Hannah releases her with a wink.
“Bye.” Chasity manages the small word as she moves out of Hannah’s arms and back into Trevor’s. She cannot help but hate who she is right now as she leaves the cabin with Trevor early.
“Can you just take me home please?” Chasity feels almost sick as she tries to wipe off the red lipstick.
“I thought we were going to go to the movies?”
“I know but I don’t feel good. I think I drank too much.” She lays her head back on the headrest. “Thank you for going to the party with me.”
“No problem. I will take you home. We can go to the movies another night.” He smiles over at her and she returns the smile.
As they arrive to her house, Trevor offers to walk her to the door. They had already kissed so Chasity feels less nervous. “Good night.” She accepts his kiss after unlocking her door.
She feels his hands grasping her butt and it makes her feel weird. She pulls away from his kiss. “Good night Trevor.” She quickly enters her house closing the door feeling the need to stand guard of the door until she sees Trevor’s car leave her drive way.
She hears a car pull in and a door outside just as she gets in her bedroom from brushing her teeth. She assumes her parents are getting home from their date night. She looks at the clock as she begins to take off her dress. It is almost 10:00 p.m.
She hears her door open behind her and it scares her, making her jump and turn around quickly meeting Tucker’s eyes. She is only in her panties because she had not worn a bra with her dress. She screams and quickly covers herself with her black dress. His facial expression is so hard to read. He had never seen her naked before and she could not tell if he was disgusted, shocked, or impressed.
“What are you doing?” She scolds him angrily as he stands just inside her room.
“Um.” His tone sounds soft and not like anything she is used to hearing come from him toward her.
She makes sure her dress is covering all of her as she speaks aggravated. “Turn around!”
He still seems frozen as he stares at her oddly. Him not minding her and her being so exposed with him in the room aggravates her. “Tucker?” Her tone snaps him from his trance and he immediately turns his back toward her.
Her heart is beating so fast and she feels mad and awkward. She finds some night clothes and quickly puts them on. Her heart is still racing as she debates on telling Tucker she is finished dressing. She wants to yell at him for coming in so uninvited. He has always come over and never knocked before but she knew when to expect him those other times. “What are you doing here?”
He keeps his back to her. “I needed to talk to you.”
“Well, you found me.” She crosses her arms in anger as she sits down on her chair. “So, talk.”
“Can I turn around now?”
“Yeah. I have clothes on now. Thanks for coming over uninvited.” She knows her anger is bursting in every word she speaks.
He turns back toward her and she feels the anger bubbling up into her face. “I’m sorry. I did not think you would be home at first and if you were, I never thought about you being naked. Well, just not alone and naked.”
She finds more anger in his words. “What? So, you’re saying you did plan to find me naked but with Trevor?”
“Wow. No.” Tucker looks nervously around her room in every direction but hers. “This is not going as planned at all.”
The long silence causes Chasity some stress. She begins to tap her fingers as she waits for him to say what he came to say. He is looking over at a picture of the two of them on the wall together from a few years ago.
“So?” Chasity cannot take the silence any longer. She stands up and begins to move around the room trying to release some anger. She has never been this mad at Tucker before. She wants him to leave but wants to also hear his reasoning for barging in on her when she was changing.
“I miss you.” She can feel his eyes following her as she paces.
“Well, I don’t miss you right now. I want to punch you.”
“Then punch me.”
His words cause her to feel confused as she looks over at him continuing to pace. “What?”
“If you want to punch me then do it.” He opens his arms a little and he looks so honest. She feels her anger still inside her but she knows it is not because he just barged in and saw her naked. She is mad at him for signing up for the navy, for making her feel upset, and for pursuing Stormy.
Tucker knows she is mad as she keeps pacing the floor. She looks like she is a lion about to attack its prey. He keeps his arms slightly away from his body inviting her to punch him all she wants.
She suddenly stops pacing and moves over toward him. He feels a little nervous at her angry expression. She pauses in front of him and their eyes meet but he is not sure what she is thinking. He is not sure what to say to make her anger go away. He does not even know why she is mad. She is so hot when she is mad! He cannot fight his attraction for her.
Suddenly, he feels a strong blow to his chest. She punched him and it makes him fall back against her door closing it. She keeps hitting him over and over again. Her punches hurt and he does not understand what he did to make her hate him so much.
Her punches start to slow down and hurt less. He sees makeup running down her face from tears. He had only seen her cry once and that was when her dog was ran over last year. He is not sure what is happening but seeing her tears makes him want to hold her and he feels bad for hurting her in some way. He reaches his arms around her, pulling her shoulders to his chest and she relaxes against him. He has no idea what to say because he has no idea what is going on. He just holds her and lets her cry for a few moments.
They hear car doors outside and it causes Chasity to move out of his arms. Their eyes meet and he sees her messy face smeared with mascara and it makes him smile a little. He had never seen her like this. She looked like a wreck and not the stone hard girl he thought he knew. She looks so vulnerable. He wonders when she got so beautiful. He watches her dark eyes intently and he wants to kiss her. It makes no sense to him. He had never wanted to kiss her before tonight.
“Chasity?” Her dad’s voice echoes through the house. Tucker expects Chasity to respond or look away from him but she doesn’t. She is just staring at him but not angry as she was before. It seemed softer and... Oh shit! She feels this too? Her dad’s voice is getting closer and breaks his train of thought. “Chasity? Are you home?”
Chasity grabs Tucker by the hand and pulls him quickly over to her closet pushing him inside. He isn’t sure what is happening still but this night just keeps getting weirder. She moves in next to him and closes the door quietly. He likes being this close to her and instinctively puts his hand on her hip.
He cannot see her very good in the dark closet but he can hear her breathe and it causes his heart to speed. He feels a strong pull to her again. He wants to kiss her lips as he thinks about how juicy and red they looked at the party. She jumps a little as her bedroom door opens and her body is now pressing up against Tucker. He can feel her breasts pressing against him and seeing her naked when he arrived enters his mind as her dad’s voice is now in the room. “Chas, are you here?”
His groin tightens as her nipples will not leave his mind. He had never seen her naked before but she looked amazing. Shit. He tries to make his groin relax as he pushes her slightly back away from him hoping she did not notice. Being in the dark tight closet with her is too much. He is not sure why he is so suddenly attracted to her tonight. He has never thought of her in this way. Stop it! She is your best friend. He tries to make himself stop feeling attracted to her. I cannot like Chasity.
Screw it. He pulls her lips and body to his, kissing her. He feels her kiss him back and it feels like no kiss he has ever had before. He feels Chasity pull her lips from his but his body wants more. They can hear her dad moving outside the closet. Her face is still just inches away from his and her hot breath is heavy as it hits his lips. He is not sure what he is feeling but his chest hurts. He had dated so many girls and kissed girls hundreds of times but this was different. Why is this different?
“I guess she just left her light on.” Her dad’s voice leaves the room as the closet gets darker when the lights streaming through the door disappear. Tucker wants to kiss her more as her hot breath continues to beat against his lips. Not being able to see her face and what she is thinking is killing him. He is sure she can feel his heart racing since her hands are on his chest. He kisses her again and her hands moving up on his neck give him chills. She feels amazing in his arms.
They hear her mom just outside the bedroom say something and begin to giggle. The kiss stops immediately.
Tucker is intrigued by her parents playing and running down the hall towards their room. It makes him laugh quietly and takes all his feelings for Chasity away at the moment. “Are your parents about to get busy?”
“Oh. Gross!” Chasity pushes the door open to her dark bedroom. “It is not funny!” She pushes Tucker slightly backward as they make their way to the door. They listen for a moment until they hear her parent’s bedroom door close and Chasity cracks the door. The light streaming in from the hallway makes her look cute even with all the mascara on her face. He smiles at her knowing she cannot see him good in the dark and those lips still look so inviting. She was so mad at him just a few minutes ago but he has no idea why. All week of not being friends, he started to think she hated him. But she had kissed him back so, he knows she had to be feeling something between them too. She opens the door a little more and then starts to tip toe out. Tucker follows her looking around for her parents.
They had sneaked out like this before more than once over the years but it was usually for a concert or to go to a party. Tucker is not sure why Chasity is sneaking out with him this time though. As they arrive down stairs, Tucker whispers. “Where are we going?”
Chasity turns around and puts her finger over those lips he likes so much. “Shh!”
He smiles at her feeling a small tug inside his chest. “I’m in love with you.” His own words surprise him. They just came out. He had never told a girl he loved her before. Because he has never loved one before. But he does. He loves her. He is 100% sure. Not the best friend kind of love but the intimate kind.
“What?” Chasity stops, sounding loud and normal. He looks up towards her parents’ room and feels a little panicked they may have heard her question. He does not think they are doing anything wrong but he does not want to get caught either. He moves up closer to her after a moment and he sees her eyes are really confused. He wishes they had stayed in her closet.
He puts his hand on her hip. He likes his hand there it feels right. He wants to kiss her but he is not sure what she is thinking or feeling as he searches her eyes for some kind of clue. He feels scared suddenly as he fears his confession to her and that it may have ruined his chances with her. Chance with Chasity? He had never thought about her this way or even wanted to have a chance with her before. Her dark hair looks so smooth and soft he wants to touch it. He slowly reaches his hand up to her face and pauses looking at her eyes again. They are not saying no and she has not moved out of his arms yet so he slides his fingers up to her hair moving it behind her ear. He moves his hand to her back pulling her closer so that her body is pressed up against his. He realizes his hand is under her shirt touching her smooth skin. Her skin feels so soft and warm, but he notices there are chill bumps rising underneath his hand on her. She is not moving away from him so he takes it as a good sign.
He decides to be honest with her as his eyes keep finding new things in her eyes. He had seen green laced in them earlier but now; he sees some grey outlining her pupils. “I know. It surprises me too.” He whispers the words as his lips ache to touch hers again.
“Why are you telling me this now?” He feels anxious with her mouth still so close to his. He sees a sadness grow in her eyes and it scares him. “You leave in like two months.”
Tucker feels his heart break as he thinks about leaving her and moves his face a few inches back from hers but still holds on to her. He cannot even imagine being away and not seeing her or touching her. Touching her? He has never wanted to touch her. His gut starts to ache as he painfully thinks about her not being just down the street from him. “I know.” He does not know what to do or say for a minute as he looks over every detail of her face. Studying her like he never has before. He wants to remember every feature of her eyes, nose. That mouth. Oh, that mouth! “I just never realized I...” He cannot say he loves her again it feels weird. “It is better late than never though.” He feels his entire body ache for her. He has never needed her in this way. “You could come with me. When I leave.”
She seems surprised by his words and moves away from him. “They don’t allow family to go?” She sounds confused.
He nods his head sadly, knowing she is right. “Yeah.” He was not thinking clearly.
She sounds annoyed at him. “We were accepted to Florida State Tuck. I start in August. Alone. And then you spring all this on me tonight?”
His heart aches as he realizes he does not even know what she is feeling. “I know. Sorry.” He realizes she has not really expressed any feelings for him. She had kissed him back in the closet though and her eyes, how she keeps looking at him, makes him hope she feels something. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.” Her confused stare at him for apologizing to her causes him to feel the need to leave. He thinks she is about to break his heart and he cannot handle it. He is also confused by his own feelings. He is not even sure at what point in time he fell for her. He kisses her quickly on the temple hugging her briefly before moving around her and exiting through the front door.
His heart plummets as the coldness of outside hits his skin. The last thing he wants is to be away from her right now but, he could not face her rejection. I am in love with Chasity? His breath increases as he walks to his car feeling confused and hating himself for joining the navy. It was going to take him away from her.