Chapter 9 ~ Guilt
I had always thought I was a take charge kind of a person but watching Dante organise my men was amazing. I was in awe of the way he ordered, so organised and precise, the one thing I did notice was how he never once said it wasn’t Blade, I guess he didn’t know and hell, I didn’t really know the bloke, so whoever the mole was we were going to catch them in the act.
Logan took my men down to his office to set up the cameras, security of the building would be informed but not anyone else. I knew it wasn’t Arabella, she looked like she couldn’t lie her way out of a parking ticket let alone steal information. Logan opted not to inform Pierre either, stating the less people who knew the better. I was just thankful that Tim was asleep for all of this.
“Here, you look like you could use this.” Dante handed me a cup of honey tea.
“Thank you,” I place the cup near my nose and breathed in. The sweet aroma filled my senses, opening my eyes I was blessed with the most beautiful hazel eyes watching me. “What?”
He took a moment to collect his words. “Why were you there tonight?”
“I was finalising the ‘anonymous’ deal.”
“You’re selling the app?” he asked with curious surprise.
“Sold… Sold the app.”
“Obviously, you now know how sick Tim is…” he nodded, “we created it knowing what the medication would do to him, he didn’t want me to miss out on basic carnal pleasure, so, I was meant to use it to satisfy myself sexually.”
“And… how many times have you used it? You said only your husband and I have touched you intimately?”
I turned my head away for a moment, “that’s because it’s the truth, you are the only person I have ever selected and replied too.”
“Do you really want the truth?”
“Because you looked like a player, you looked like someone who wouldn’t give a second thought about me.”
“Well, you misjudged me.” He looked hurt by my assumption.
I stood up and walked around the coffee table, seating myself on the edge, in between his separated legs. “I’m sorry, I did and you proved me wrong. Dante, I don’t understand you at all.” He leans in closer taking my hands in his, a shiver runs up my spine as he entwines our fingers. “I don’t know what you want from me because I know it’s not friendship.”
“No,” he shakes his head, returning to meet my eyes with the most serious face, “I want more for you.”
“I can’t give you that.”
“I know that, I know.” He practically whispers, is it possible to love my husband but care and be attracted to another man? Is that meant to happen? Are you meant to fantasize about someone else? My heart clenched painfully, I wanted him, I wanted him so much.
Staring at our joined hands felt so right and so wrong all at the same time, I couldn’t fight it any longer, it took everything in me every day, to hold back from him, from wanting to feel his hands on me, his lips on my lips, his tongue on my nipples, the thought of it moistened my core and I squeezed my thighs together tightly, I went for it.
Lifting my head, I pressed my lips gently against his, the contact was like fireworks; I could taste sweet honey tea remnants on top of his skin as I held them there, basking in the tingles that ravished my body.His hands grasped the sides of my body and pulled me onto his lap, suddenly, this was no longer a simple peck. Our mouths moved as one, sensually caressing the soft meaty flesh before we both opened, allowing our tongues to graze against each other’s, stroking in euphoric ecstasy. His kiss alone igniting the dormant embers of passion within me, shuddering my body as I floated away on the throes of exhilarating ardour. His strong muscular arms around me, my fingertips enlaced around the back of his neck as we moaned at the pure bliss elicited by our bruisingly remarkable kiss.
His hand came up to cup my cheek as we pulled apart, his thumb tracing the outline of my tender lips. With our foreheads together and our heavy pants fanning against the heated skin, I shut my eyes for just a moment, relishing in our magnetic closeness. I pushed my lips against his once more, holding still, “your father just… whoops, sorry.”
I jumped off Dante upon hearing Arabella, I could feel the horrified flush creep over me, reddening my chest, cheeks and my ears, so much so that I couldn’t meet her eyes. Dante’s eyes bored into me, I could feel his electric steel gaze, he was not happy by my quick departure.
“Is it done?” He questioned his mother without turning.
“Yes, it’s all set, I’ll just be… in my room. I’ll leave you two to it.” She left us there with crushing guilt running rampant through every inch of me.
I lifted my head slightly to meet his misty tear filled hazel eyes, “I need you Quinn, don’t pull away.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I have to go.”
Dante nodded his head and wiped away the wetness that had gathered. “Well, there’s not much more we can do tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon at two.” He stood up and walked over to the balcony railing, placing his hands tightly on the wood.
My body was trembling as I stepped forward and placed my palm on the middle of his back, his head snapped around, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Dante,” my pathetic whimper barely audible.
“Do you even want me?” The straining of his tone shattered my heart and I dropped my hand from his back.
“More than I can ever express, but I can’t, I wish I could but I can’t.” And with that, I gathered every ounce of strength I had left and practically ran out of there.
By now Bryce had informed me that Geary was on the case and the police had been called in, the driver had been given instructions on how to handle the situation but even I was flabbergasted by the amount of press surrounding our house. Considering it was up in the mountains, they would all have to camp out the front of our gated property.
I knew they couldn’t see in the limousine but I could see them and it still made me cower down on the back seat, the bright white flashes from their photography equipment was more than I could handle right at this moment and it didn’t help that the sun was rising in the distance which meant another sleepless night.
Tritium would be arousing soon and he would be lumped with this on top of everything else he had to deal with. I had failed him.
I sat there at the foot of our bed with an orange and vodka in my crystal glass, sipping it slowly. Staring blankly at the turned off television screen that hung on our wall, my heels and clutch strewn across the floor, I felt movement.
“My love? What’s wrong?” The concern that laced his question was thick as his croaky tone unleashed the wave of horrific tears that fell from my eyes. My shoulders slumped as my head dipped and I tried to recoil. “Fuck Quinn, what happened?”
“I failed you.” I sobbed.
“Come here my love,” I could hear his hand as it patted the bed.
“No Tim, the press know.” The cry ripped deeply from my soul.
“What do you mean?”
I explained everything, the stolen papers, the casino, going to Logan McCarlock’s and the sting that’s due to happen at two this afternoon. True to form my husband listened, he did not interrupt then again, I never turned around to look at him either. The awful thing about my shit confession and the events of tonight or even in the past was Dante, I left him almost completely out of the equation.
Tim had wanted me to find a sexual partner, pushed for it. He even wanted me to find love, but I couldn’t hurt him by telling him, I loved him and this whole situation was fucked up, even more so now, knowing I most definitely had feelings for Dante.
“He hasn’t replied for a few hours but every picture uploaded so far, he’s crashed their programming to expunge any trace.”
“And the contracts?”
“Logan had yet to sign; Pierre had already signed them before they hit the lawyers.”
“Right, this is what we will do. You need sleep, so undress and get under these covers, at two you will walk in there and catch the mole leaking information and when all that is done, we will release a statement to the press.” I still refused to look at him, “Quinn, now.”
I knew that tone all too well, he meant business. I undressed quickly, choosing nudity to help sleep and crawled into bed and cuddled into his side. “I’m sorry I failed you.”
“My love, you never fail me. Now close those beautiful eyes and let me direct Bryce.”
I knew something was off about her story, I could feel it, in fact, something had been amiss since a few days before her meeting with LMPT limited, it seemed almost like she carried extra guilt. Was I worried about the vultures disguised as press? Of course, but they can always be handled. Our stock price will plummet the moment the public realises I’m dying but will pick back up if they knew a company as profitable as LMPT has signed, they have an outstanding reputation with no discrepancies, although, this exact situation was what I was trying to avoid. I thought I had more time to organise everything properly.
These past few months, no, these past few years, have been so hard on my amazing wife. Everyone has judged our relationship, which is why we are so fiercely private now. Am I delusional enough to not of realised she idolised me? No, because I had known her for years before we got together, I had always been fond of Quinn.
I pushed all of it aside, even dated other women in the hopes to fall in love and forget her, but I never did. When she started working for me at fifteen, it only made things worse, she is, still to this day, breathtaking. But what really caught my attention was how much she soaked in, always wanting to learn, striving to be better, do better, in all aspects of her life. A quality rare for her age.
When I was given my diagnoses, I was angry and tried to push her away but she refused and now, because of that stubbornness, determination and caring heart, that I love so much, she was able to help me find clarity and completion. When she climbed onto my bed and into my arms, I knew I could never let her go.
Because of my history with Quinn, she has become an open book; I can read her face as though it were a predictable movie. This is how I know something is being kept hidden. Why, I don’t know, so as she lay asleep next to me, I decided to pull up the camera footage from my company.
Every employee has a camera, ether above their cubicle or in their office. We deal with sensitive information and if any gets leaked, we can protect the company by law if we have video footage. Watching her being pleasured by another man weeks ago, is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, her face of euphoric ecstasy, the way she quivered under his ministrations, I used to be that man for her… but at least now I know what she was keeping secret and I feel like there is something more. I also watched as they ate lunch together and carelessly laughed, she was getting closer to him without realising. I’m smart enough to know, the only reason for not telling me, is because she doesn’t want to hurt me, I know she loves me, not my money, not the privileges my station in life brings, me for me.
I pulled out my phone and Dialled.
“Mr Dante McCarlock?”
…Yes, who am I speaking with?...
“My name is Tritium Xeal, Quinn’s husband.”
…Ah… Ah… of course, Mr Xeal, how are you? I think you have the wrong number, are you after my father?...
“Mr McCarlock, I would like a private meeting with you about your relationship with my wife. I will text you the address, please come alone and do not inform my Quinn about me contacting you.”
…Shit, of course, when?...
“Tomorrow morning at ten, I understand you have a mole to catch today so I will not interrupt your plans, but after seeing the footage from the security camera’s in Quinn’s old office you have been allocated, I think it’s time we discussed your involvement with my wife.”
…Shit, of course Mr Xeal. Look I’m…
“Tomorrow, at ten, Mr McCarlock.”
…Yep, I will see you tomorrow at ten…
“Thank you, goodbye.”
While I believe my beloved wife about not knowing Dante was there tonight, I don’t believe something didn’t happen by the way she hesitated and scrunched her face, a clear sign she was thinking about something but didn’t say it. Hell, I looked into that family and saw with my own eyes, for a male, he was what women would perceive as desirable. I watched that footage maybe five times. Each time the feeling got worse, my insides twisted in pain, betrayal and hurt. This was going to be one of the hardest discussions of my life and I just happen to be doing it, with the man my wife is sleeping with.