As we pulled up to my driveway, I wasn't sure we were at the right house. It wasn't that the lawn wasn't perfectly coiffed, or that the water fountain had stopped working. One major thing had changed that I thought would never changed. William's old luck charm was missing, and in its place was a brand new flashy sports car. I knew that my brother would never want to trade in his car. He was just driving it around today! Distracted, I leaned over and Henry gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Have fun tonight!" I told him, as I quickly scurried toward my door.
I knew the first place to find my brother once we entered the house. The kitchen. Sure enough, there he was eating a sandwich, nothing new. "What's up with the new car?" I asked as I grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl. I was picking up his habits as the more time he spent here.
My brother stopped stuffing his face enough to look up. "Well, you know how we hung out this morning." I nodded. "Well Mom and Dad weren't doing their usual things," Henry scoffed. "They were actually out buying me a new car. Supposedly, if Mom buys this car some of the money is donated to some cause, to make her look better. Anyway, I came back from dropping you off, had a snack..."
"No surprises there." I said laughing.
"This is not a funny matter. So, while I was eating they got rid of my baby and replaced it with this new piece of junk. " He said angrily taking a huge big into his sandwich.
"I'm sorry, Will. Well, I'll leave you to your sandwich."
"Haha." He said with food still crammed in his mouth. I was also slightly disappointed that they had gotten ridden of the old luck charm. Henry and I used it as a sign when our ears would perk to the sound of that engine when Will was stalking on us back in the day or when he would come and pick me up. I guess it is a good thing those days were over otherwise we would have been in trouble a lot more.
I went upstairs to my room and plopped down on my bed. I glanced at the clock, and it was only 4:37. So early, but so tired. I dragged myself over to the computer and decided to get online. Even though most teens were pretty obsessed with Facebook and the sorts, I really could never got into them. I decided to sign onto Facebook chat and see who was online. It was no surprise that Aly was on. She is always curious to all the new relationships, ended friendships and basically any drama as long as it didn't involve her. Just as I clicked on her name as my brother popped his head in my room. "Hey, Mom and Dad want me to try out the new ride. So, I'm going to the gas station. Need anything?"
"Nah. Thanks." I said distracted by my best friend that I hadn't talked to in a while.
Estelle Gray: Hey Aly! How has your summer been so far?
Aly Connor: Estelle! How have all of your make-out seshs been? I hope up to par as usual.
Estelle Gray: Oh please stop, lol. Have you been able to find a boy to have your own make-out seshs with?
I sort of felt bad for asking because I always knew that Aly didn't have as much luck with boys as she would like. She took a second to reply, so I checked out my News Feed and caught up on all the necessary information real quick.
Aly Connor: Well, I can't say that I have. I've really been waiting on you to have that party at your house.....
Crap, I had completely forgotten that I had made that promise to her. I was not feeling like having a party.
Estelle Gray: That's right...... I thought you were going to do all the planning.
Aly Connor: I already have started if you will just tell me a date that is good for you!
Aly was not going to let this go, and I should have known that she wouldn't. She should just skip college and become a party planner; she could easily persuade all of her clients into doing whatever. I got up and looked at my calendar and noticed that the month still said "May." Oops, I guess I had forgotten to change in a while. I stared at the month of June, which had nothing written on it. My life is so planned, I thought.
Estelle Gray: Anytime this summer. Literally nothing on my calender.
Aly pinged back right away.
Aly Connor: Perfect.
"Estelle come downstairs." I heard my dad call in an urgent tone just as I rolled my eyes at Aly. However, I was curious to why my dad was calling me and not holed up in his office like usual.
Estelle Gray: Okay be right back!
I hopped off of my bed and set my laptop back on my desk before hurrying downstairs. Standing in our doorway were two police officers. I didn't understand. I froze on the steps. My parents noticed me, as did the police. My father actually had his hand around my mother's shoulder, the kind of contact that I had not seen them have since I was five. My mother's make-up was messed up, and I thought I saw tear stains on her cheeks. My father looked grim as the police officers seemed sympathetic. The thought rushed into my head, and I wanted it to disappear before it might be verified.
The police officer, who looked to be the elder one faced me. "Miss, we just found your brother about five minutes ago and came right over. He ran off the road and crashed into a tree. Unfortunately, he...." The words of the man started to blend as I felt like I might pass out. I slid down the wall and put my head in between my knees hoping to block out the sounds. The police officers continued to speak to my parents as I only caught small bits: "badly damaged", "speeding", "examine body." I barely noticed that they had left as I sat rocking back and forth on the steps, not yet believing what I had heard.
The next thirty minutes was a blur. The next thing that I realized was that we were now all three siting on the couches in the living room. My mother continuing to show real emotion, so maybe she truly did have a heart. My father stood up and began to pace across the room, as if that would help anything. He just kept repeating, "I just don't understand. I don't understand. How can he be completely dead?" As I attempted to go numb and stop my thoughts my father stood in front of me and began yelling. "It could have all been very different!", "He's gone and now.....", "Everything has gone to hell, HELL do you hear me?". The first tears now left my eyes as I could no longer take it. How could he be yelling at me at a time like this? I had not even spoken more than five words to him in several weeks? And now, in a time when we all need to be comforted he decides to yell at me!? It wasn't like I understood how this could happen either. I lost track of all the hateful things he was saying to me, how my brother was so much better than me. Why it was him instead of me? I stood up with my father still yelling in my face and sprinted to the door with his yells behind me. I slammed the door shut behind me.
I started to run as fast as I could. The fields around my house passed as blurs after blurs. I barely realized where I was going and must have tripped over a rock before falling on the road and scrapping my knee. There was a sharp pain, but it helped keep the emotional pain away as I saw my knee begin to bleed. I sat down on the side of the road and pulled myself into a ball. I fumbled for my phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. I could hear it in his voice that he was laughing as he picked up the phone. "Hey, babe. What's up?"
"H-enry." My voice cracked when I said his name. I couldn't say anymore, as the tears now wouldn't stop flowing. My sobs echoed through the phone.
He was silence for a second before his voice became stern. "I'll be at our spot in a few." He said hanging up. My hands were shaking as I had trouble putting my phone back into my pockets. I wiped my eyes to see where I had run too. I realized it was right next to the path that leads to our spot. I tried to steady myself as I stood up my knee already feel better as the blood began to dry. A car sped past me and a shiver went down my back. How could my brother get into such a horrible car accident? He was just going to get gas. I was supposed to be with him. My father was right it was supposed to be me. I could barely tell where I was going as tumbled down the path. I knew what it was though; it was that fucking new car. His old luck charm, the one that never broke down on him, was gone. He was gone.
I didn't know where I was but I had to stop once more as I laid down on the dirt path. I wasn't sure how long it was before I felt someone pick me off the ground. I smelled vanilla ice cream today as he carried me to a spot he had made with a blanket laid out. I lifted up my head to notice that his shirt was already completely drenched with my tears, as he set me down his arms didn't leave. I wiped my eyes to see that the sun was already pretty low in the sky. It would have been the perfect sunset we had actually never experienced, but it was anything but. "Shhh.."He whispered into my ear as I rocked back and forth. Heaving and feeling as thought I couldn't breath. I knew I had to calm myself down. "Take a deep breath." Henry advised me. I looked into his face to notice that his eyes were fixated on my knee. "It-'s no-t-hing." I gasped. He eyes snapped back to mine as he brushed my hair covered in dirt out of my eyes. He squeezed me tighter as I finally caught my breath. I took a few deep breaths as my eyes began to close. Henry whispered into my ear," What happened, babe?"
I then realized that I hadn't even told him what had happened yet. I didn't know if I could say it. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I said the sentence I didn't want to believe was true, "My brother died in a car crash." I looked into Henry's eyes not really knowing what to expect them to give me, sadness, wonder, comfort. Henry lost his breath for a second, his eyes got wide, then he let out a deep sigh. He had no words either, and I didn't really want any words from him. I laid my head down on the soft blanket as he joined along side me. I closed my eyes as I felt him place a kiss on my forehead. "Babe, I love you so much," was all he said. I felt protected from the whole world, and all the bad things that happen as he said those words. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. As the sun was setting in the background, and the setting was slowly getting darker, I felt eyelids shutting, wanting to pretend this whole day had never happened.