CH 19- REVELATIONS
Brody came into the bathroom while I was in the shower and stood there for a moment thinking. He stripped and entered the shower stall. I opened my eyes and saw Brody standing in all of his naked glory in front of me. The bond hit me full force, I want him so badly. He moved forward and slowly touched my waist. Brody’s hands were firm but gentle and I noticed that his eyes darkened with lust as did mine. The sparks were becoming insistent and his eyes never wavered from mine.
“You shouldn’t be in here.” I said softly as my mind cleared a little. “I’m -not...I can’t-” The soul crushing look in my eyes caused his eyes to reflect the same heartache. I felt it. Brody pulled my waist to him and he began kissing me gently and then more passionately as I gave in to the bond. Placing his hands on my butt he lifted me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist needing to have him closer to me. “I don’t care if you are a virgin or not.”
There was a part of me that wanted my mate so badly but there was also a part that was so very ashamed that I just couldn’t let myself have him. Suddenly I dropped my feet to the floor and pushed myself away from him. Brody watched as I shrunk into the corner of the shower. My body started shaking and I couldn’t look at him. All I could think of was that he was going to hate me when he found out. I knew I wouldn’t survive that.
Brody put his hand on my shoulder. “Baby? Hope? Come on babe, tell me what’s wrong.” Brody shut off the water, picked me up, grabbed towels and wrapped one around me. He carried me back to the bed and held me in his arms. He cradled me as I sobbed against his chest.
“We are not leaving this room until you tell me what happened to you while you were out there? What happened that made you not want me?” The emotion in his voice was not lost on me.
“It’s not you... I can’t have anyone as a mate, not anymore.”
“That guy at school. Who was he? What does he have to do with this?” I turned away from him and he pulled me back to face him. “Tell me! I will keep you safe from anyone who tries to hurt you. You are my mate, my other half, you are my heart, don’t you understand? I love you!”
I stayed on his lap and his arms were around my towel wrapped body. My body shuddered as I readied myself to tell him. “You won’t w-want me anymore once you know.” I whispered heartbroken. Brody raised my chin so I was looking him in the eyes. The bond was pulling him hard to me. He had an insane need to keep me safe and I was feeling it.
“There is nothing that would make me not want you. Do you understand? If someone hurt you that isn’t your fault. Please just tell me baby.” The emotion in his eyes made my heart ache. I took a deep breath and nodded.
“Somewhere around my fifteenth birthday, I ran into this group of rogues. There was five of them. The leader was called Rourke. He decided that he wanted to keep me as his-” She swallowed hard and started again but looked down in shame. “-as his toy, sex slave, whatever he wanted to do to me he did. I was beaten and raped daily, for several months and not just by him. He would hand me off to the other males there too. It nearly broke me beyond repair. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t stop them.”
I felt the raw violence building in him as he fought to keep his wolf back. His growl was full of rage and pain. He was shaking so hard I thought he might shift. I completely understood, my own wolf was howling in pain at the memories, I couldn’t even look at Brody’s eyes. I reached up and cupped the side of his face with my hand. He seemed to calm down a little bit.
“Every day, I was told that I was trash, that I was a whore, worthless and that my mate would be disgusted by me, never accept me or love me. It became easier to believe than you would think. By the end I just wanted to die. Brody, I am not good enough for you. I’m broken.” My heart tore at my words, believing them to be true and I waited for him to reject me.
I stopped for a moment ,then I said something that made him smile. “It never mattered what was being done or threatened, I never quit fighting them. I never gave in. I was never a willing participant.” I felt so much guilt and shame that I couldn’t even look at him. “That guy, he was one of Rourke’s men. That means he knows where I am.”
Brody clenched his hands around me as I spoke about what they did to me. If he ever got a hold of them he would kill all of them without hesitation. He kept closing his eyes and shaking as he tried to keep his wolf under control. How dare they hurt his mate. I kissed his lips softly until he calmed down.
“They lied to you. You are perfect to me, for me. I could never blame you or think less of you for what they did to you. I love you Hope.” My eyes raised up to his and he could see the hope in them. His hand went to the nape of my neck and he held me closer so that he could kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
Brody pulled back from me gently. “Babe, we don’t have to finish the mating now. We can wait until you are ready. We can go as slow as you want to but I want you to move in here with me, today.”
I must have been staring at him with my mouth open because he smirked and raised my jaw up to close it. “You are okay with waiting a little while longer and you want me to move in today?” Brody nodded.
“Absolutely, it will calm my wolf. Right now he is fighting for control. He wants to finish the mating and go hunt them down and tear them apart. I can’t keep you safe if you are in another pack. I need you here with me.”
Oh my goddess! He isn’t rejecting me, nor is he upset with me. He must really be made for me. My mate! I nodded at his smirk and kissed his lips delicately. “Okay, I’ll move in today.”
“Good, now if you’ll excuse me, I need a cold shower babe.” He got up and I turned red at his very obvious erection. He laughed and went into the bathroom and I heard the shower kick on. He shouted out some colorful curses at the cold water and I laughed and got dressed. For the first time in what felt like forever I was happy.