Lost Hope

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I headed for the countryside and into a thick set of trees. I figured out how to shift back and forth between my two bodies. The irony of really being a werewolf was not lost on me. It was hilarious actually. I had always been a lover of all things supernatural, werewolves and vamps were my favorites.

I was hunting for food and stalking rodents, mostly rabbits in the beginning. I found that if you catch a skunk and bite into the wrong spot near the tail you will taste first hand how foul and nauseating that liquid stench is. My taste buds still haven’t forgiven me for that one. It was something I’ll never forget. I still can’t rid of the taste from my memory. I swore off skunks permanently. In hindsight it was comical, I’m still positive that would have landed me a hundred grand on funniest videos.

I was sunbathing near a pond when I felt like I was being watched. My ears perked up and I caught a stench in the wind unlike anything I’ve smelled since I left the city. It smelled kind of like a cross between old sick people and garbage. My senses told me that I was not alone. I felt my wolf pushing to get in the front of my mind to take over. She only did this when she felt danger or extreme anger. I stood up to see several wolves coming out of the woods. They were growling and snapping at me. I let her come forward and she snarled and growled with such ferocity that would have had me running, if I were them.

I charged at the one that was closest and snarling at me. Biting into his shoulder I tore a chunk out of it. He stumbled and we both went down but I recovered first and went for his throat. His claws keep scratching at my chest so I grabbed his leg instead. I bit down and ground my teeth until the bone was in tiny pieces. His leg was now useless. When he cried out I grabbed onto his neck and ended him.

My adrenaline was flowing fast and I growled at the others. There were five more. I ran at the next one and while I had him on the ground with my teeth in his neck I felt myself being ripped off of him. It felt like I was being ripped in half and then everything went black.


I felt pain. Not just normal pain but the kind that made your mind scream in agony. It felt like my nerve endings were on fire. As I became more aware I realized that I was chained up and in my skin which worried me because that meant I was naked. Panic made me open my eyes and the sharp light made me close them slightly for a moment so they could adjust.

I was laying on my back on a bed that I was chained to. I could feel the pain and see the blood between my legs so I knew they had raped me, at least one of them had. Thankfully, I had been unconscious so I didn’t know it was happening at the time. I had a feeling the next time I would be wide awake for it. Blinking back tears, I raised my head and looked around the room. That’s when I noticed that I was not alone. There was a blond male with blue eyes and he was built well. He was picking at his nails with a knife. He was around twenty five I guessed. He made me extremely uncomfortable. I could feel that he was strong but there was something off about him.

“I see you are awake. How are you feeling? You put up quite a fight. Took out two of my guys in the process.”

I watched him and I felt my wolf smile with pride. We were both scared of this male. He looked dangerous and unhinged. Not wanting him to see that I was afraid of him, I looked around the very small room again before speaking to him as calmly as I could.

“How am I feeling? Really? I’m pissed off, you fucking asshole! You attacked me and kidnapped me and someone raped me! How about we trade places and I’ll have some fun at your expense!”

His laugh was borderline maniacal which spooked the hell out of me. “I think I’m going to like breaking you. What is your name?” He slowly walked closer to me with a six inch knife in his hands. My nerves were not steady and I’m sure he could smell the fear I was putting off.

“Cherry, my name is Ch- Cherry.”

He got down on his knees next to my head and he showed me the knife up close. It was long with a serrated edge. I growled threateningly and he shoved a needle into the side of my neck. I screamed and cried out as its liquid burned its way through my veins. I couldn’t feel my wolf after a couple of minutes. This made me panic.

“What did you do to me? What was in that needle? Why me? What do you want from me?”

I watched as he ran the edge of the knife between my breasts to below my belly button. I inhaled sharply and he pushed just enough to make it bleed lightly. It felt like a huge paper cut. I hissed at him. It started to heal immediately and I breathed a sigh of relief, it meant that my wolf was suppressed but not gone. He was playing with me. The grin on his face said it all. I was in big trouble.

“I gave you wolfsbane to suppress your wolf so you can’t shift or link but she is still there. Why not you? What do I want from you? Hmm, good question Cherry Pop! You will be my bitch. You will have my pups, entertain me and my males when you are not in heat and after I break you, you will do everything I tell you with no talking back. So if you want to make it easier on yourself you will not fight me.”

I spat in his face and he undid his belt and settled himself between my legs. “I’m Rourke and you shouldn’t have done that Cherry Pop.”

I kicked and screamed and I made it as difficult for him as possible. When he forcefully drove himself into me, my mind and body both exploded in white hot pain. He slammed into me over and over tearing my body with red hot gashes as he dug into my legs with the knife at the same time. I screamed and cried for someone to help me. The pain and fear overwhelmed me and thankfully I blacked out a few minutes later.

Rourke quickly found a routine that he liked. First thing in the morning I got a shot in the neck of wolfsbane. Then the rest of the day I was assaulted first by him then by his males. It was so bad that I refused to clean myself. I was praying that I would be so gross that they wouldn’t use me anymore. That only worked for a day. After more beatings and more deep cuts I was forced to shower in front of the other males daily. The humiliation was bad enough but almost every time ended up with me on the floor of the shower with one of them or more on top of me. After the sexual assaults I was beaten into a state of near unconsciousness. I would be left to heal, if I took too much damage. He sent in a male to feed me and take me to the bathroom at least twice a day and he thought that I should thank him for that.

I had no modesty, self esteem and no pride left but I wouldn’t give in to him or his monsters. I refused to let him break me. The obscenities and things he said to me were just torturing my soul. It was demoralizing and it was hard not to believe it after a while. My biggest fear was that he would be right and that no one would ever want or be able to love me after this. I zoned out for as much of it as I could and fought them at every turn. There were times when he and the others would leave for a hunt. Those were the times I looked forward to the most. It was the only time I got peace and quiet and a break from them.

When I stopped eating and refused all food, Rourke made a special point to come in and see me. He eyed me and traced his finger over my jaw line.

“Why won’t you eat?”

I ignored him but he put the knife against my neck and I pushed upwards causing my blood to dribble down my neck. Angrily, I tried to force his hand.

“Kill me fucker! I don’t want to live like this!”

He pulled the knife back and looked at me with a sinister grin. He walked between my legs and put the knife against my female opening. I tensed in terror.

“Eat or I’ll tear you apart slowly and I’ll start here.” I nodded through tears and gave in and ate my food. It had no flavor but it at least kept him from cutting me. His laugh made me sick. It was the sound of pure insanity. I had to find a way out of here. I needed help though. It would be another month before someone came along.

Rourke began bringing around a female that he has sex with and flaunted her in front of me as if he were trying to make me jealous. He seemed to be attached to her in some way. She looked at me like I was the most disgusting thing in the world. I couldn’t disagree. I probably looked as bad as I felt. I was dead inside. Late one night after the others were drunk she snuck into my room and she took my chains off. I woke up and looked at her like she was crazy.

“He’ll kill you.”

“Just go.”

“Thank you!”

I hugged her and I never looked back. I snuck out and when I got outside I still couldn’t shift so I just ran and ran and ran. When I needed sleep I climbed up a tree so I won’t be in sight on the ground. Late the next day I could shift and once I did, I took off and didn’t stop running for three days.

I realized that I had been with Rourke and his males for months when it struck me that I missed most of fall, all of winter, and part of spring. I worked on making myself stronger and a better fighter. I was determined not to be a victim again.

My entire existence became about defending myself. I went deep into the woods and I fought everything I ran into. Large bobcats, other wolves and I even beat a bear once. After these fights I would go off to heal and hide out for a few days til I was better. I felt stronger and more capable, even though I still felt unworthy of a mate. I was starting to get myself back.

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