Chapter 1
What if you could go back in time and have something
be totally different? Well that happened to me and it changed my life. I met
Nick in my senior year of high school and I fell head over heels in love with
him. We dated and we broke up. Is it always that way, girl and guy date, girl
falls in love, guy breaks up with girl, girl can’t fall out of love. Well that
is true in some ways, but I wanted to forget him. It’s said when you forget
someone; they come back into your life. Well after high school, I got into my
dream college, graduated in the top five percent and got my dream job at
Seventeen Magazine, published my first best seller book, and moved to New York
City. My life was great, except that I had not found love. I had boyfriends,
but I always ended it. They were not right for me. Well one day, things change
all time, and when Nick entered my life again, things got a lot weirder.
I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop and was reading a book that I needed to read for a book review. I was in the middle of a great part, when I hear, "Oh my, Hayley Hansen." I look up and I see Nick Balassone. "Oh wow. Nick." I get up and I hug him. "Sit down." I offer him the seat opposite of mine. We sit down. "Wow. Hayley Hansen. I haven’t seen you since high school graduation." He says. He stares at me and me stair back. He looks great, his hair was straight, his eyes were a brighter grey-blue, he was still a little heavy, but it looked great on him. "You look beautiful." He tells me. I look down, and say "So how is your life. What are you up to?" I look up and see him still staring at me. I blush but stay looking at him. "Well I run a company that makes metal, I live in New York City now and I am staying with my mom." He says and laughs. I laugh along, and ask, "How is your mom?" "She is good. She finally divorced my dad after I moved out. She moved up here with me when I got into NYU. We stay in a house a few minutes outside the city. How about you? Where is that husband I know you have?" He said. I looked down. I was ashamed that I wasn’t married, but I wanted a career then a husband. "I’m not married. I worked on my career first and I always thought I would get it done before now." He moved to the seat next to mine. He put his figures under my chin and lifted my head. "Hayley, you were an amazing girl, and I bet you are amazing women. Tell me about your life." He said. I looked up into his eyes, and saw all the hurt and pain was gone. "Well I am a writer at Seventeen Magazine and I have my first novel published. I think it is doing well. I live a loft in the city, I don’t live with anyone but I am looking." I say. "Well who do you want? Why type of person are you looking for?" Nick asked.
Nick moved in two days later. We got along a lot better now than we did in high school. I was happy that we didn’t have any weirdness with us. It was like we didn’t even date. He was an old friend, but that didn’t mean I didn’t notice that he was still really hot. I knew we wouldn’t get back together, so I didn’t put any time in my crush. Nick worked at has company and I worked at Seventeen, we meet up for lunch, and then he would come up to my office when he got done with work. One day Nick came to my office and looked pissed off, but also sad. "What is wrong?" I asked. I knew something was wrong and I would get him to tell me. He looked up and said, "Natalie came to my work today." He said and sat down. Natalie Brandau was a girl Nick meets in his sophomore year, they dated and then she moved away, and they broke up. I was the girl Nick dated after they broke up. We broke up because he was still in love with. I always wondered what would have happened if I had gotten to Nick before her. "Oh Hun. What happened?" I asked. "She found where I worked and came to talk to me. She told me about how her current boyfriend was beating her and she wanted me to help her and for us to date again." Nick said. I got worried, what if he took her back and he moved out, and I never saw him again. Nick must have saw I was worried, because he came behind my desk and wrapped his arm around me. "Hey Doll. Don’t worry, it causes stress lines. I told her that I would help her, but I was happy where I was at in my life. I was living with my best friend, I had a great job and I didn’t want to be with her anymore." Nick told me. He lifted my chin, so I would look in his eyes. I looked in his eyes and saw that he was telling the truth and something else that I couldn’t read. "Ok. Sorry for the worrying." I said. "It's ok Doll. You were right in worrying." He said. He still had his hand under my chin, and we were looking into each other’s eyes. My door opened and we sprang up, like two teens caught by a parent. It was my assistant, Marry. "Oh I'm sorry Miss. Hansen. I will come back later." Marry said and then turned to leave. "No wait Marry. Nothing is happening. You can come in." I called after her. She turned around, and smiled. "Ok, well your mother called and I said you were in a meeting, your dad called and I said you would call later, and then a woman named April Balassone called, asking for Nick. I told her that he would be here later and that he would call later." She said. Marry was a short skinny girl. She had short, straight blond hair, green eyes, and was very pretty. I looked at Nick and smiled. Our families knew that Nick and I were best friends, and I think they want us to be more then friends. I don’t know what Nick wants, but I would love to try again. We both matured a lot and we flirted a lot. I had some questions for him though. Marry left after that and Nick sat down in the car on the other side of my desk. "So Doll. What are we doing tonight?" He asked. We usually went out to eat after work and then got a couple of movies to watch. "Well I was thinking we could go home and then get dressed nice, and then go to Shun Lee Palace East." I said. I wanted to ask him some questions. "Oh a nice resturant tonight. What is the reason?" He asked. He loved to get dressed up; he would do it for no reason. "I just want to have a nice dinner with my best friend." I said. He knew there was something else. He smiled and then said, "There is more. What is it? You have a new boyfriend? You got promoted? Your dying and what me to have everything?" "Oh my gosh Nick. No, No I wish, and I wouldn’t give everything to you." I said. I knew he was joking. "Ok well what is it then?" He asked. "I just want to talk. I want to ask some questions." I said. "Oh ok. I have some questions for you too." He said. "OK. Well I think I am done for the night, so we can leave now if you want." I said. "Sure." He said. He got up and left the room. I knew he was talking to Marry, he knew I liked to close down my computer by myself. It had my life on there. It held my stories for the magazine and my book I got published and then my newest story that no one knew I was writing except for my editor and Nick. I saved all my progress on the flash drive, my computer and sent the email that held everything to my computer at home. I wanted to be sure I had it safe. I shut down my computer and turned everything off. I walked out of my office and locked my office door. I turned around and saw Nick and marry talking. I walked to them and leaned on Mary’s desk. "Hey guys." I said. Nick put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned on him. "Hey Hayley." Marry said. She knew I liked her to call me Hayley after work, but to call me Miss. Hansen when we were working. "Hey Marry. You’re leaving too?" I asked. She usually leaves after me. She likes to use the time to write stories to hand to the editor to try and get a job. She was 20 and just got out of college. She had gone to my old college, and the editor thought I would be a good mentor for her. We loved each other, the first week she started working, we hung out every day after work and we became best friends. She is my other friend other than Nick. "Yea. Boyfriend is taking me out to dinner for out five year anniversary." Marry said. Her boyfriend, Josh was the nicest guy. He had short, shaggy brown hair, bright blue eyes, and was very tall. Marry and Josh were the cutest couple, and had met in High School. They went to the same college. He worked as an artist in the city. He adored Marry, and she adored him. They made me believe in love.
We left the building and went to our loft. Nick went to his room, and I went to mine. I took a shower and did my make-up. I dressed in my short, form fitting blue dress. I put on blue eye-liner, blue mascara, and sliver eye shadow with a hint of blue. I put on my three inch blue heels and straightened my hair. I walked out and saw Nick reading my book. He had read it three times already. "Nick. Stop reading and put down the book." I said. Nick looks up and smiles. "It is just a really good book. I live with a great writer, a sexy one at that." He says. I blushed, and sat down. Nick stared at me for a while. "Do I have something on my face?" I asked. "No, I can’t talk about it right now. We will talk about it at Shun Lee Palace East." He said. He got up, put my book on the table, and grabbed my hand. We left the house, and got into a taxi. We got to the resturant, and sat at our usual table. "So you wanted to ask me some questions." Nick said. "Yes. There are some things we have not talked about, and well I want to know now." I said. I was worried that he would hate me if I started asking these questions. "Ask me. You know me better than anyone. You can ask me anything." Nick said. I looked down and then back up. "Ok. Well I have always wanted to know something, but I was scared that you would hate me if I asked." I said. "Well ask, Doll." Nick said. "Ok well. I was wondering what happened with Bethany." I said. I saw Nick's face drop. "Oh well. Um, well." He said. "You don’t have to answer if u doesn’t want to." I say, I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. "No it’s just. That after you went to college, you stopped talking to me and Bethany. We didn’t want to talk to you, because we didn’t want you to feel like we were pushing everything on you. When she and I started dating, you were pushed to the side, and you just faded away. We were hurt by that, but we knew you were hurting even more. So we left you alone. I know now that was the wrong thing, but I was stupid. Well after you went to college, no one heard from you, except for your dad. Well Bethany and I got our relationship heated fast. Well you know how we had sex a lot, right?" Nick said, and grabbed my hand. "Yes?" I said. I was confused. I knew that he and Bethany had a very big sexual life, but I really didn’t want to hear about it. "Well during my sophomore year of college, we broke up. She cheated on me with Michael. I guess she had been doing it for a while, ever since the summer you left us. Then I found out she was pregnant with his kid." He said. I took my hand away. "She cheated on you? And she was pregnant?" I yelled/whispered. I didn’t know any of this. My dad didn’t tell me, and I wasn’t in touch with Bethany or any of the Tilley family. "Yeah, she was and she got pregnant while we were dating too. It is kind of karma though. I left you for her, and she cheated on me. I kind of deserved it though." He said and looked down. "Nick. It is not your fault that Bethany cheated on you. I am sorry that I brought this subject up." I said. I looked up and saw Nick looking at me. "Yeah, but I threw you away, and that wasn’t right. I had a perfect girl and I didn’t rely it till I lost you and had my 'perfect' relationship got destroyed." He said. Nick looked down. "Well that is the past and this is the present. You can change what you want to happen and what you remember. You can remember the bad times and feel sad, or you remember the good times, and are happy." I said. I squeezed his hand and he looked up. "You know I never meant to hurt you." Nick said. "Yes, I know. You didn’t mean to hurt me, and I understand that. It helped that I only had to deal with it for a year. If you did it earlier, I don’t think I would have been able to handle it. I started cutting that year, I didn’t talk to anyone, I kept to myself, and I stopped talking to everyone. I don’t think I talked until I got to the college check point and they asked me for my name." I said. I wasn’t happy for that time, but I learned a lot about myself and who I wanted to become. I got my grades to straight A's, stopped texting even when I got my phone back, I deleted all my social pages, and I finally became vegan. My dad bought me so much stuff that year, just to get me to talk. He took me to doctors and to therapy; he tried everything to help me. After I started talking again, the first thing I did was call my dad. He drove up to Chicago and we had dinner. I talked to him about everything, the no talking, how much pain I was in when Bethany and Nick dated, and how much I was sorry that he spent all that money on me. I cried the whole dinner, and my dad got teary the whole dinner. We have a better relationship because of it. We talk every night about things that are happening, he says that he thanks the lord every time we get off the phone. He is thankful that I started talking and that I was alright. "I did that. I am so sorry Hayley. I didn’t know it was that bad. I just thought you were getting over me and Bethany and didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t think it hurt you that bad." Nick said. He started tearing, and I started crying. "No one knew anything. I haven’t told anyone except for my dad the whole story. Maybe one day, I will tell you the whole story." I said. "That is fine. Tell me when you are ready." He said. I took a big breath, and looked at him. I took my free hand and wiped my tears off, He did the same. "So you wanted to ask me something too?" I said, trying to get the subject off of me. “Yes, well we have been living together for about three weeks. I have been thinking about some things and about the past. You bringing up Bethany is funny." He said and laughed. "Oh what have you been thinking about?" I asked. “You and me." He said. I was shocked. I didn’t think he was thinking about us at all. "I think we should date. I lied to myself as a teen. I thought I wanted Bethany and I didn’t rely how much I loved you until you left us. I knew you needed your time, and I really didn’t think you would come back to me, so I never said anything. When I found out that Bethany cheated on me, I wasn’t so hurt that she did that, I was mostly hurt that I would let that happen to you. I let you leave and so I told Bethany I really didn’t care, and that I was still in love with you. She told me she knew that. She told me that when you left our lives, I changed. I didn’t tease her as much, or treat her like a girlfriend. She told me that the only reason she stayed with me is to get back at you. I don’t know what for, or why she would do that, but that was the reason. I missed you, and seeing you in the coffee shop three weeks ago, I think it was a sign. I think God wants us to be together. What do you say Doll?" He said. He moved to the seat next to me and pulled out a small ring. It had a small black diamond in the center. "It’s not an engagement ring, it is a promise ring. I promise to never leave you, for any reason, unless you want me to. I promise to stay your best friend, and to not let anyone hurt you in any way. Hayley will you date me?" He asked. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say, I collected my thoughts. "Nick. I don’t know. We just got to being friends. I think this is too fast." I said. I got up. "I’m so sorry. I will see you at home." I said. I ran out of the restaurant and into the street. I didn’t see where I was going and the last thing I remember seeing is a bright light and Nick screaming, "Hayley."
