Oakleaf Academy For Boys (BxB)

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thirty five

Sharp green eyes glowed happily when the bell above the door echoed softly. “Morning!” The boy greeted peppily, brushing a lock of black curls away from his face.

“Morning.” Sebastian mumbled. “Just a coffee please. Black.”

“Sure thing.” Alex smiled, tapping away at the till. “That’ll be two pounds ninety please.” He announced as Sebastian fished a handful of coins out of his pocket and dropped them onto the counter. “You look tired.”

“Yeah.” Sebastian grumbled, rubbing his face in exhaustion. “I missed the last train home, slept at the station.”

“Big night out, huh?” He questioned lightly, busying himself at the coffee machine.

“Yeah, something like that.” He sighed, his fingers brushing over the track marks staining his arms, proclaiming the very spot where the needle had entered his vein.

While Alex’s back was still turned, he quickly jotted down his number on the receipt, before handing it over to Sebastian along with the freshly made coffee. “Have a nice day.”

They were three months in when Alex found Sebastian’s stash tucked away beneath a loose floorboard. “You have to listen to me, Al, I—!”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Alex hissed. “You told me you were done with this shit!”

“I was! I just...I slipped, okay? It’s nothing, you don’t need to worry about—”

“Don’t need to worry? Are you for real? You know, you are such a twat sometimes, Seb.”

“I’m sorry!” He apologised, his eyes sad and regretful. “I’m sorry, baby. Please. Please, let me explain.”

A month later and Sebastian was clean while undergoing drug counselling. He was irritable and frustrated, but he was clean. The only certainty that existed in his life was his love for his boyfriend. It was fierce, brave and unapologetic. It was such an aggressively intrusive form of love that he couldn’t help texting Alex in the middle of the night, or days when he had drunk a little too much, or writing it over and over again on his own skin.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“I really love you.”

“I know.” Alex giggled, playfully shoving Sebastian away as he tried to focus on his homework.

“Say it back.”

“I’m trying to concentrate.”

“But I love you.”

“I know.”

“Alex?” Sebastian whispered, brushing his boyfriend’s curls out of his face so he could see his schoolwork better.

“Hm?”

“I fucking love you.”

Alex grunted loudly and finally dropped his pen. He drifted over to where Sebastian was sitting on the bed, wrapped his legs around his waist and kissed him deeply. When he pulled back, he whispered back, “I know. And I love you too, Sebby.”

“Forever and ever?”

“Till death do us part.” He teased.

When Sebastian Steel finally opened his eyes, an excruciating pang of agony flooded his body. It had all felt so real, as if each of those beautiful moments were happening for the first time. The second he woke up, it shattered. Alex was dead again.

He was sat in an itchy bed, surrounded my beeping machines and beige walls. He groaned and shifted around in the sheets, stirring the thin tubes that stemmed from his arm. His mind was fuzzy and murky with memories just out of his reach. The last thing he remembered was a head of scruffy blue hair and a pair of piercing silver eyes.

He did love Lucky. But he loved Alex too.

And for Lucky’s sake, he needed to be alone in this world for a while longer. Maybe even forever.

When the nurse told him he wouldn’t be returning to Oakleaf Academy, Lucky’s face popped into his mind again, and then faded away.

“Never?” He questioned huskily.

“Never.”

“W-Why? Where will I go?”

“Back to rehab.”

Sebastian gulped, his fists clenching in despair. “I can’t even go back to get my stuff?”

“A member of staff has already dropped everything off. You’ll be picked up and taken to the rehabilitation centre tomorrow morning.”

I can’t say goodbye, Sebastian thought. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lose someone he cared about again. “I need to go back.”

“I’m sorry.” The nurse said simply, sparing him one final apologetic look before leaving him alone in the dingy room. He felt the tears prickling the back of his eyes, his lip quivering, his hands trembling.

He fell apart.

He’d never see him again. And he’d never say it.

Goodbye, Blue.

• • •

Lucky was sitting on Sebastian’s empty bed, hugging his pillow to his chest as tears streamed silently down his cheeks. The quietness was excruciatingly loud, and the room felt excruciatingly big. A man from reception had come by earlier to pick up Sebastian’s stuff, while carrying the news that Lucky would be receiving a new roommate in a week.

Benji arrived a while later, carrying an array of chocolates Diesel had apparently managed to smuggle in. They sat side by side, wordless but understanding. It was a strange feeling that Lucky couldn’t quite put his finger on. It wasn’t sadness, or anger. It was the feeling of missing something that was already gone a long time ago. And it hurt.

When Benji left, Lucky was alone again. Until a knock on the door startled him.

Jake Wesley stood on the other side, a sheepish smile ghosting his features. “Hey.” He greeted quietly.

“Hi.” Lucky replied hesitantly. He was too emotionally weak to snap back with a sarcastic comment.

“I’m sorry.” Jake sighed. “It’s rough to lose someone like that.”

“He was already lost. He loved someone else.” Lucky said honestly. “And I’m sorry too. He was your mate.”

Jake decided to ignore Lucky’s revelation and leant against the doorframe, “People come and go all the time in this place. He’s just another lost bastard, but he was a good one.”

“Do you want to come in?” Lucky offered, pulling the door open wider. He was in his pyjamas, his eyes tinged red and his hair sticking up all over the place, but none of that mattered.

Jake rose his brows at Lucky’s request, but stepped into the room nonetheless. “You wanna drink to him?” He asked softly, pulling out a hip flask from his jacket pocket.

Lucky nodded and Jake passed him the flask. He took a swig, clenching his eyes shut at the burning sensation.

Goodbye, Sebastian.

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