Chapter Fourty One – Dilemma
Did I make the right decision? I was not able to sleep whole night. I don’t know what should I do to be at peace. I looked at Zohaan who is sleeping peacefully. I wish I can be a child again and be in protective shade of my arms. Am I a good mother? In my pain I have forgot the pain I made Zohaan go through. He already lived 4 years without his parents. I took away his mother’s love from him for two years just because I can’t handle his father’s betrayal. I will not leave him ever again. I will make up to the last time. My children are my first priority.
Next day I woke up and was surprised to see Zaeem sitting beside me and staring at me.
I looked around for Zohaan but didn’t find him.
Zaeem said,“He went to school.”
I quickly looked at time. It’s 10 AM. I placed alarm at 7:00. Why didn’t I wake up? I checked my phone and my alarm is off. I don’t remember switching it off.
Zaeem said,“I switched it off. I wanted you sleep properly. I saw that your room lights were on till early morning. Aneesha, What is bothering you? Talk to me. Tell me.”
I said,“I am fine. I just want one thing form you. Don’t ever decide for me. I know how to take care of myself. It’s not the first time that I am pregnant.”
He said,“I am sorry if you got hurt. That was never my intention. I was not there with you when you were pregnant with Zohaan. I want to be there with you for our second baby.”
I said,“I need time. I don’t understand how you are so cool about everything. Give me space Zaeem. You might have forgotten everything that happened but It’s not easy for me.”
He looked hurt. I didn’t like it but I am being honest. I can’t forget all I went through in that 6 months when Zaiba was living with us and Zaeem was with her not me.
He said,“Everyone is waiting for you on breakfast table. Come soon.”
With this he left.
I got freshened up and went down.
Dad smiled looking at me and said,“You are up. Come have breakfast.”
We talked random things but I observed Mom looked miffed with me.
Once Dad and Zaeem left Mom said,“Aneesha, Why are you doing this? Why are you bringing that witch in your life again? I know you are hurt and angry with Zaeem but this is not the solution. Zaiba will tore you apart again. She is very cunning. Last time we were not here if I was here I would have never allow her so stay Jn this house. Aneesha you should never bring a third person in between husband and wife no matter who it is. It will always end up in seperation. Don’t let her break your house again.”
I said,“She is not another woman now. She is his wife. I am just giving her place. It’s Zaeem who should learn to balance his time between his two wives. I know mom I did biggest mistake last time. Mom..I don’t know if I am making mistake again but I don’t want to build my house being unfair. I am sorry if I hurt you.”
She said,“Zohaan hates her Aneesha. He can’t tolerate being with her under one roof. He agreed to stay with Zaeem only on condition that Zaiba will not stay with him. If Zaeem brings her here then Zohaan will be angry with him. Do you want create distance between Zohaan and Zaeem?”
I said,“I will talk with him.”
Mom looked angry. She said,“Aneesha..for whom are you doing this? You fighting for that girl against the ones who love you. You are doing wrong. I hope you understand this before it’s too late.”
She left from there. I am so confused. Who can help me with my confusion. Only name came to my mind. Samar. I have to meet him. I miss Pari a lot. I will meet both of them.
I was about to leave when Zaeem asked,“Where are you going?”
I said,“To meet Samar.”
He looked angry and said,“You are not going anywhere. If you want call him here.”
I was about to object but he already dailed to Samar and called him here. What’s going through his mind?
After two hours..Samar came along with Pari. Pari extended her hands looking at me. I was about to take her in my arms when Zaeem stopped me.
He said,“You should not lift weight..”
I said,“I am just two months pregnant. Nothing wil happen.”
He said,“There is nothing wrong with being careful.”
I don’t want to argue with him. Pari started crying when I didn’t lift her in my arms. I glared at Zaeem.
Samar intervened and he took pari from Zaeem. He explained to Pari that my health not good and she understood. She is very sweet. She is an angel.
We all sat on sofa Samar and Zaeem started talking about current affairs and business. I was feeling so bored. It reminded me of the day when Samar met Zaeem for the first time.
I said,“Zaeem, I want to talk to my friend alone. ”
He looked hesitant but left from there.
I said,“Let’s go to my room.”
Samar said,“But Zaeem-”
I said,“We will keep the door open. Don’t worry. You will not break my house.”
He hesitantly came to my room.
He said,“How is your health? How is baby doing?”
I said,“Everything is fine. How is your relationship with Sabah? I didn’t receive wedding card yet. I am invited, right?”
He said,“Ofcourse. How can I get married without you? Nothing is decided yet. Once everything is finalized you will be the first one to receive card.”
I said,“I will be waiting.”
He said,“It’s been alot about me. Tell me about what’s going on in your life? How is Zaeem treating you.”
I said,“Good. Zaeem wants to divorce Zaiba.”
He said,“Wow..Finally he is doing something right. I am so happy for you. Once that witch thrown out of his life you have a happy life.”
I said,“She placed some conditions to give divorce.”
He snorted and said,“Who need her approval? They are not getting married. It’s divorce. Don’t worry Aneesha. We will hire best lawyers and she can’t do anything.”
I said,“I asked..I mean forced Zaeem to agree to her conditions. ”
He said,“Have you lost your mind completely Aneesha. By the way what are her conditions?”
I said,“She wants Zaeem to give her rights on him as wife.”
He looked confused and said,“What does that mean? She is his wife. ”
I said,“It seems like even though they are married they were not together. As per Zaeem’s words they married for baby and when it was no more they was nothing in their relationship.”
He clenched his fist and said,“Don’t say like that about the baby.”
I said,“I didn’t mean-”
He composed himself and said,“Whatever may be the reason I think you should not force Zaeem. I think it’s his call what he wants to do with his life. If he don’t want to accept Zaiba then you should not force him. Place yourself in his place. Will you be happy if someone forces you to accept the one you don’t want to.”
I said,“but they are married.”
He said,“You are not understanding. Think about it in this way. You were about to marry Afnaan due to your parents pressure. What if Zaeem forces you accept him as your husband even though you don’t want to. How do you feel? You are doing same thing to him. You have this thing engraved in your mind that he chose Zaiba over you. Now when he is contradicting it. You are not ready to accept it. You want to believe that he still loves Zaiba not you. Whenever he says that he married Zaiba for baby you think that he is with you for baby. You want to believe that he will leave you once the baby is born. You are afraid of losing your kids that’s why you are pushing him over Zaiba so that you can have kids with you.”
I was shocked by his answer. No no..I am not thinking like this but why I am not able to deny his words.
He said,“Aneesha, you have to trust him. I know it’s not easy after what happened but no relation will succeed without trust. It will fall apart. I am not telling you to trust him blindly but give him a chance. Try to understand his prespective. Spend time with him. Get to know what he truly wants or feels. Don’t judge him over past. People change with time and by what they go through. I can see that Zaeem has become more mature and sensible. He loves you and cares for you and your children. Give him a chance not for him but for you..for your children. I know you still love him but only love is not enough. You have to trust him, understand him, be honest with him. Try your best to save your relation Aneesha. It’s in your hands. I trust you. You can do this.”
He kissed my forehead and said,“I am going now. Will come to meet you soon. Think about what I said.”
He left with this leaving me in dilemma. What should I do?