Chapter Fourty Three – Compromise
I came down from their room to the dining hall. Zohaan has finished his breakfast.
He said,“Mumma where is Papa? I will be late for school.”
I remembered again what I saw..no way that I am allowing him near Zohaan today after what he did.
I said,“Papa is busy so today mumma will drop you, okay?”
He smiled and said,“Okay.”
We were in car when Zohaan said,“Mumma will you come with me inside my school. I want you to meet my classmates. They always tease me saying I don’t have a mother. I will show them that I have both my parents with me. Will you come mumma?”
I said,“Ofcourse Son. Anything for you”
He said,“I am so happy that you came back. We missed you a lot. Don’t go anywhere again. I love both you and Papa lot. I want to see you always together. We will be a complete family like other kids.”
He wants to be with both of us. He is just a kid he will not be able to understand our situation. He will be scarred for life. We already hurt him a lot. I can’t do it again to him. He didn’t get to spend more than few months in his around 7 years of life. No kid deserve this. If I separate him from his father he will lose his complete childhood. Divorce is not an option then what should I do? I just can’t live like this. Always in pain that my husband chose Zaiba over me. May be the problem is this ‘husband’ word. As long as I think of him as my husband. I will definitely get hurt by his behaviour. He is just father of my kids. Nothing of mine. I can’t divorce him because of my children but I will not think of him as my husband.
I dropped Zohaan at school. He introduced me to almost everyone from his class. He was so happy while doing this. It’s like he is showing off that see You all were wrong I have my mother with me. He said something like she didn’t leave me for anyone to one boy. I didn’t understand what he meant by that. Who told him that I left him for someone else? Zaeem? No He might have lost his mind because of Zaiba but he loves Zohaan. He will not do such thing to him. Zaiba? She can do this. She can stoop to any level to hurt me.
I will ask Zohaan later not now he is too happy to spoil his mood by asking such questions.
I was driving back home. I don’t know how I will face Zaeem and act like nothing happened. To my relief he was not at home. I silently went to my room. I am not leaving this room until Zohaan is back because Zaiba will not come to me that time. That’s the condition of Zaeem that she will not come infront of Zohaan. The second she comes she is out of the house. I was really happy when he said this. May be he doesn’t love me but he loves Zohaan more than Zaiba.
I heard knock on the door. No, I am not going to open it. I will not let Zaiba brag about her and Zaeem infront of me again. The knock got louder. Ahh..go away. I thought they will knock and will go away if I didn’t open but the next second the door opened with thud.
A panicked Zaeem looking straight at me. He quickly walked towards me and said,“Are you okay? Is baby okay? What happened? Why didn’t you open the door?”
I said,“I am fine just don’t touch me. Stay away. I am really fine.”
He looked hurt but moved away.
He said,“Why didn’t you open the door? I thought something happened to you.”
I said,“I can take care of myself. You no need to worry about me.”
He sighed and said,“Aneesha, Please don’t test my patience. I seriously losing it these days. I understand you get mood swings when you are pregnant but all the time. I am doing whatever you say still it looks like you are not happy. What is it do you want me to do? Stop playing around the bush and come to the point.”
I said,“Nothing. I want you to do nothing for me. Leave me alone. Go to your Zaiba. I can take of myself and the baby.”
He said,“My Zaiba? You are the one who pushed me to her. I told you what I wanted. I wanted to divorce her but you wanted to be fair. You asked me to accept her conditions. When I am doing what you want. You still have problem. What is your problem? You told me that you will divorce me if I divorce her without accepting her condition. You said you will trust me if I fulfilled my right as husband towards her and now you are acting I want it. I am doing it myself. I am getting sick and tired of your games. Make up your mind first what do you want?”
I said,“I can say the same for you.”
He said,“My mind is very Clear Aneesha. I know what I want. I want Zaiba out of my life. I want a have happy life with you and our children. I am ready to do anything for it. It’s you who have to decide what you want. You need space. I will give you but due to your negligence something happens to my baby then I will not spare you. Mark my words. I am dead serious right now.”
With this he left.
I don’t know what I want. I just don’t know.
I want him at the same time I don’t. I can’t just let go of my past. What Zaiba did to me..what Zaeem did to me. I can’t over it.
I know I pushed Zaeem towards Zaiba this time but he decided to divorce Zaiba after he got to know about the baby. He is doing this just for our children. He loves Zaiba. He don’t love me. He is divorcing her because he knows that Me and Zohaan will never accept her. He will ignore me later just like he did before when Zaiba was living with us.
After hearing her conditions for few minutes I truly believed that Zaiba and Zaeem had no relation in this two years. They are just married for the baby but then I found out that they were so lovey dovey in two years. Zaiba sent me all the video clipping of parties in which they are so close and smiling. How intimate pictures as well. I just don’t know how to react. That’s why I pushed Zaeem to accept her conditions. I wanted to see to what extent he can act. The Zaeem who loved me will never accept that conditions no matter what but it didn’t take much persuading for him to agree. I told him to give her rights. The first right he thought of giving is what? sleeping with her. Is it the only right a husband can give to wife? Ridiculous...
If he repulse her so much but still he have no issue with sleeping with her.
Does he think that he can make fool out of me again? Never..
After that day I never saw Zaeem and Zaiba for three days. I don’t know where they are or what they are doing. I told to Zohaan that he is going out of country because of office work.
Lair..He must have went somewhere with Zaiba.
I went to meet Samar. Sabah was there looking after Pari. She is really a nice girl. I am happy that Samar found someone.
He said,“How is life going on?”
He said,“Liar..Now tell me the truth.”
I said,“I- I..”
He said,“You stopped Zaeem from accepting Zaiba’s condition, right? ”
I said,“No, He- They spend night together.”
Tears stared flowing from my eyes.
He said,“What? Aneesha you completely lost your mind. How could you let this happen? Ya Allah..Why didn’t you stop him? I thought you loved him Aneesha. How can you let him be with her?”
I said,“He also didn’t stop. Why he will do that? He also wanted that.”
He said,“I will go crazy because of both of you. You will wait for him to say no. He waits for you to stop. Both of you don’t do anything expecting each other to do it. Have you ever heard of term fighting for your love, your right? You should fight for him. Even if he is attracted to Zaiba you should not just give up. Fight for him, show him he is better off without her. Letting go is never an option. He loves you Aneesha. I can assure you that. You trust me, right?”
I nodded my head.
He said,“Then believe me he loves you a lot”
I said,“How are you so sure?”
He said,“Because he never cheated on you.”