“He’s driving me crazy.”
I looked up at Jezebel from my book. It was a surprisingly warm afternoon in early February. We sat together at the backyard of the mansion, on the swinging bench, both of us completely peaceful with each other.
The last month had been, actually, pretty great. I saw close to nothing of the Andela sisters, both Willow and Arabella had work to do, and so my life continued without anymore dramas – yet. I spent my time with Danger, Jez and Gunner, of course. It was so nice to have a regular routine again.
Besides, my birthday was getting closer. February the 22nd I’d be eighteen, finally.
“Well,” I said, closing my book because I knew Jez needed me. “Is it that bad a thing?”
She looked at me, sky-blue eyes incredulous. “Of course it is!” She exclaimed. “It’s annoying! He always teases me and then in bed he has that stupid need to dominate me. He doesn’t even let me ride him! Can you believe it?”
Ah, the normal stuff, then. Jez always complained about Danger being such a primitive man in bed. She talked with me openly about their sex life and I already got used to it so I didn’t blush. Besides, I knew my time to have sex with Gunner was getting closer, too. It didn’t mean we didn’t do things, though.
“I ask again,” I said, “is it that bad?” It sure didn’t sound bad to me. I would’ve probably let Gunner do whatever he wanted to my body, because anything he did to me was pleasurable.
“When you have sex with Gunner, Rae, you’ll understand,” Jez sighed. “It just drives me crazy. I mean, our chemistry is off the charts and I’ve never orgasmed as hard with anybody else. I think I’m falling in love with him and I know that he loves me already. But sometimes I would’ve liked to have a little bit control over some of the aspects in our relationship – sexual-related and others.”
That, I could understand. “Have you talked to him about it?” I asked her.
She nodded and made a face. “He said I need to ‘accept him like that because that’s who he is’.” She rolled her eyes. “Awful man.” She added in a mutter.
“If it’s really important to you, then tell him that,” I said, thoughtful. “If you want to have control over some of the things, tell him you need it. Tell him that he needs to accept your needs just as you accept his own.”
Jez looked at me, frowning. “Since when you’ve become so smart, Rae?”
“Hey!” I protested. “I’m always smart.”
She snorted. “Oh come on,” she said dryly, but then looked at me again. “You’ve really grown up.”
I flushed. “You make it sound like I’m a toddler.”
“Nope, just a teenage girl going through puberty,” she grinned then. “and if we’re already speaking of puberty... what about you and Gunner?”
I was suddenly very interested in my shoelace, seeing as I started playing with it, my eyes on the ground. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“Don’t you play coy with me, missy,” Jez scolded. “I know you two haven’t had sex yet. So... when are you planning to give up you V-card?”
I blushed, looking anywhere but at her. “I... don’t know.” I said honestly, chancing a glance at Jez.
She raise a brow. “You don’t know?” she asked in disbelief. “Aren’t you guys talking about it or something?”
I wriggled in discomfort. “We... just going with flow, y’know. We don’t push it or anything and we don’t exactly get there too...”
She crossed her arms. “Do you want to have sex with him?” she asked me with arched eyebrow.
“Well, I guess,” I shrugged. “I think I’m ready, but I’m still a little... scared.” I winced at the word.
“What are you scared of?” she inquired. “The intimacy of the act?”
I shook my head. “I’m plenty intimate with Gunner. It’s not the point.” I looked away. “I’m just... scared.”
Understanding flashed in her eyes. “You’re scared your relationship would change after you do it.” she stated.
It sounded so lame, yet it was the truth. “Yeah,” I confirmed, smiling slightly at her. “Stupid, ha?”
“Not at all,” she surprised me with saying. “My first time I was a nervous wreck and thought I would die of embarrassment. But eventually, it just another step. Just like kissing someone, only way more fun and pleasuring.”
I bit my lower lip. “I really don’t know what to do about it - “ I was cut by two men who entered the backyard, going purposely toward us. Jez and I smiled at our men at the same time, while Danger grabbed Jez into an embrace and a kiss and Gunner practically lifted me off the bench, sat down and placed me on his knees. Danger did the same.
“What are you two ladies talk about?” Danger asked with a smirk, while Jez wrapped her arms around his neck. The love between the two was obvious, and I knew that they would be fine, Jez’s problems with Danger aside.
“We actually talked about sex,” I said, smirking back. “Jez said your performance is about five out of ten.” I stifled a giggle as Danger’s eyes narrowed and he grinned dangerously – no pun intended.
“Don’t stick your nose into other’s sex life, redling,” Danger hugged Jez tighter and leaned his head on her chest. Then he turned to Gunner. “You need to control your girlfriend’s nose, Gun.”
Gunner squeezed my thighs in punishment. “You worry about yours and I’ll worry about mine,” he said to Danger and I laughed and leaned me head on his shoulder, letting him caress me.
“But seriously,” Danger said, “did you talk about sex?”
“Oh, it was a wonderful conversation,” Jez said, smirking knowingly. We both liked teasing Danger because of his short trigger. Gunner always just looked at us both and said things that made us both shut up. He was no fun to tease... well, at least together he was no fun. Privately, when I teased him, he was more than willing to tease back. “We measured your cocks’ sizes and even kissed each other to see if we’re good kissers.”
I couldn’t help but giggle when both Danger’s and Gunner’s eyes became hazy with lust, saying they were both aroused by the picture of Jez and me making out. “You didn’t,” Gunner said, voice rough.
Jez’s eyes twinkled. “But we did, didn’t we, Rae?”
“Oh yeah,” I said, licking my lips to empowering the effect. “And I must say, Danger, you’ve got a seriously good-kisser girlfriend.”
Danger’s grin became wild. “Prove it.”
“Yeah,” Gunner literally growled. “I want to watch with my own eyes.”
Jez arched a questioning eyebrow at me and I smirked back. I didn’t kiss anyone except Gunner, but hey, I could add ‘kissed a girl’ to my resume. In a perfect timing, we leaned toward each other, and Jez’s lips touched mine. Her lips, unlike Gunner’s, were really soft and plump. And when we deepened the kiss it was actually really nice. Not as fantastic as with Gunner, but nice. Jez was a very sensual woman, and knew what she was doing. She also had more experience with the other sex to know exactly how to arouse them further. So she fisted her hair in my hair, and I did the same to her. Her hair was as smooth as it looked, like silk.
After a few more moments, I was suddenly snatched away from Jez and another mouth covered my own. I laughed into Gunner’s lips but he wasn’t in the mood for teasing right now. Instead, he kissed me deep and roughly, and made me feel thousand time more than Jez made me feel. I could feel the bulge in his pants and couldn’t help but getting aroused myself.
When finally he took his lips off me, we both turned to see that Danger and Jez disappeared. I smirked. “We probably scared them away.”
“Nah,” Gunner smirked back. “It’s more like Danger’s itch made him take Jez to his room to have a session of hot sex.”
I laughed. “Yeah, it sounds legit,” I looked at him and saw him watching me back. His eyes were as intense as ever, and I could almost see the need in them. The sexual need. He wanted me badly, wanted to have sex with me, but he didn’t want to push me, didn’t want to make me feel like I had to do it. He wanted it to come from my heart.
I hesitated. Was I ready for it? Sure, we did stuff. I gave him a BJ more than once, and he liked playing with my breasts and touching my sex. Bed he still didn’t gave me an oral treatment, and we still didn’t have sex. Was it as Jez said? Was it really just like another step? Like kissing?
“Hey,” Gunner’s face softened and he cupped my face. “We don’t have to do anything that you’re not ready for.”
I didn’t say a thing, just watched him. He sighed. “I knew that by taking a virgin, younger lover as my own I would have to wait,” he said with frankness I appreciated. “Blue balls haven’t killed anyone yet.” He tried to joke with me.
But I was serious now. I knew that it was in my hands, to have sex or not. I wasn’t forced to, yet I wanted to feel the things I read so many women felt during sex. Sure, the first time would hurt and all that, but... But then it’d get better. So why no just get it over with? Why not just have my virginity taken and then be free to have pleasurable sex like Jez?
My decision was made. Determination took place of the fearsome feelings, and I knew I’d made the right decisions. I was almost eighteen, and most girls my age had already done sex. If Echo and Isobel had done it, then I could too.
I grabbed Gunner’s shoulders and kissed him. He kissed me back, like always, but I didn’t deepen the kiss this time. I looked right into his eyes so he could see my decision, and took my mouth off his. “I’m ready.” I said. “As long as it’s with you, I’m ready.” And it was the truth; if I’d tried to have sex with Chase I would’ve probably chickened out.
Chase... he still refused to talk to me. Now, actually, everyone in school avoided me except Jez, of course. Isobel shot me dirty looks right along with Marcus, and Chase was sitting with them and acted as though I didn’t exist.
I couldn’t really blame him.
Gunner searched me closely. “Are you sure, Rae?” he asked sincerely. “I don’t want you to do it just because you feel you have to - “
“I’m sure, Gunner,” I cut him. “I’m scared, but I’m sure.” I confessed, because I was still scared the consequences of such an act.
Gunner nodded. “Okay, then,” he said, making me feel anticipation and determination mingled with fear.
We stood up and walked inside the mansion. Outside it was nighttime already. We grabbed something to eat, and then paved our way to Gunner’s room. I’d been there only once before – we usually did stuff in my bed – and the room looked just like mine, with a huge canopied bed, a desk, a closet and a balcony.
Once the door was closed and locked by Gunner, it was like unleashing his needs – and my own. Without so much as doing the humanly regular thing that is called thinking, we jumped on each other like animals in frenzy of heat and kissed wildly while magically managing to rip each other’s clothes. When I was in my undies and he with a boxer, he laid me down on his bed and kissed me roughly, wandering his lips to my jaw, my neck, while I closed my eyes and just moaned.
“You’re so sexy, Rae,” he murmured, just as he took my bra off and started kissing my breasts. “So sexy and lush and mine...”
I would’ve talked back hadn’t my mind been scrambled like eggs. Instead I just flushed in my face and other intimate places.
His rough, big, warm hands held my slim waist as he sucked and bit my breasts like his favorite dessert. I moaned and wriggled restlessly, feeling the need of release growing inside of me. Apparently Gunner wasn’t in the mood of going slow and teasing. I wasn’t complaining.
One of his hand took my panties off slowly and sexily, like he was savoring stripping me. Then a wave of slightly cold hair, and I knew I was entirely naked in front of him. Suddenly shy, I tried to close my legs but his hands kept them wide open for him. He took his mouth off mounting my breasts and with hazy, lustful sea-eyes looked down at my open sex. I blushed furiously and felt how my intimate folds trying to breathe to, but with no luck.
“G-Gunner...” I mumbled, his gaze not wavering from my cunt. It drove me to another edge. “P-Please - “ a scream of pleasure was ripped out of my throat as Gunner lowered his head and put his mouth on my sex. His tongued and teeth and those lips were doing things to me I didn’t think were possible. I screamed and and moaned and wriggled and when his fingers got into action as well, while his other hand moved up to my breasts, I couldn’t take it anymore. The orgasm came so hard so that my muscles hurt a little afterwards.
His tongue licked my juice, licked the orgasm, and grinned a sexy grin especially for me. “You sure are loud,” he said, making me blush with humiliation at how hard I’d screamed. “I like it.” he added and then moved up to kiss me. I tasted my own juice in his mouth and it was so erotic my eyes rolled in their sockets.
But Gunner wasn’t done with me. “I want you so wet for me you wouldn’t feel too hurt,” he muttered and before I could hiss at him that I could handle him just fine, his fingers trailed down my body straight to my clitoris, where he started rubbing, making me aroused and troubled once again. I felt knots forming in my stomach and I quivered at the strong reaction.
But Gunner was rough. He rubbed and rubbed, and then slipped one finger inside. Starlights pricked in my eyes and I sucked in a breath as he started pumping in and out his finger, adding in another after a while. I was so wet, so hot right then that I wanted him just to put his cock inside of me. But he wasn’t budging, kept on pumping the two fingers inside of me like an expert.
Then... he added a third finger, while his thumb rubbed my clitoris. I felt another orgasm tearing me to pieces, leaving a hazy-minded, pleasured girl instead. But oh, Gunner kept pumping his fingers, and I felt so hot and bothered once again.
How could I orgasm so many times? I thought it was impossible. But apparently, Gunner was an achiever. He said as much. “It’s only the beginning, Rae.” he grinned at me as I tried to glare at him – and failed miserably. Feeling so sated felt really good. And now being ready to another ride of pleasure felt even better.
The last few moments went in ravaging kisses and me trying to get rid of his boxer. He let me, and then there was a naked Gunner looming above me, so sexy and gorgeous without clothes, even more than he was with dressed. It was like the man of my dreams took my virginity. I could certainly do worse.
“Gunner...” I inhaled quickly when I felt his erection, his dark heat, on my inner thigh.
“No,” he murmured, kissing my neck. “Call me Andrew now.”
The request surprised me a little, but the only thing I could do was to oblige. “Andrew...” I murmured, and felt the head of his cock nudging the entrance into my body, into my soul.
“Rae...” he said, grabbed my thighs, and in one, slick move he shoved his cock right inside of me. Pain blinded me for a second and I screamed his name, feeling so full and absolutely taken it was overwhelming and magnificent at the same time. I held on to his shoulders and dug my nails into his skin. I breathed painfully and felt something warm and wet down there. Blood, maybe?”
“Ssh...” Gunner kissed my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, me lips. “I’m here. The pain would disappear in a few minutes.”
I felt tears of pain in my eyes, but held on to him. He kept his cock inside of me, balls-deep, and didn’t move. After a few breaths, I looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around my body, laying my head on his shoulder. “You ready?” he asked, so considerate and thoughtful I couldn’t help but just love him.
“I love you,” I said without a conscious thought of saying it aloud. “I love you so much.”
He didn’t even hesitate when he said, “I love you too, Rae.”
Hearing those words from him undid me completely and I buried my head in his strong shoulder, feeling his biceps flexing around me. “I’m ready,” I whispered, holding onto him, breathing in his scent.
He held me strong and fiercely as he started drawing back his cock. I groaned a little at the sudden lost of such a heavy, long, thick thing inside of me. But then he pushed back in, making me bite my lip in pain. It was uncomfortable – to say the least – to have such an unfamiliar thing inside of me. But then he draw back again and shoved home once more. This time, though, it wasn’t as painful. My body started accepting his, started getting used to his, and as he started to move faster, pumping like he’d done with his fingers earlier, the pain dissipated shove after shove, and in its stead pleasure took me in. I moaned with every push and shove, sinking my teeth into his shoulder like some vampire or something. But he growled – really growled – and I knew he liked it. So I kept my teeth there as he speeded up the pace, pumped faster and faster, fucked me until there was nothing I could do but lie limp in his arms and wait for the pleasure to wash over me. And eventually it did. And the second I came, he came too. With a harsh, final shove, he groaned, and planted himself inside of me, shuddering just like I did. Then he draw back, and when we both looked down, I saw the blood from the loss of my V-card splattered all over his condom – which reminded me I didn’t see him putting on. I was probably too hazy to see.
Gunner got rid of the condom and then squashed me underneath him as he lay on the bed. Like a kuala, my legs were wrapped around his waist, his bigger body laying on top of me like a manly, sweaty, naked blanket. My inner muscles were so tired I could feel them whining, and I was so damn pleasured I couldn’t move an inch – and I didn’t want to. Being squashed by Gunner was more than ecstatic.
Elation filled me inside, and I kissed Gunner’s neck, my hands in his hair. “Thank you,” I told him quietly, breathing heavily just like him. He held back a lot tonight because he didn’t want to hurt me too much. I knew it must’ve been hell for him, even if in the end he lost it all too.
“Next time,” he murmured into my ear with a rumbling voice. “I’m going to have you on my office desk.”
I couldn’t help but grin lazily. “You’ve got a strange fantasy, Andrew.”
He raised his head but we were still locked together, wrapped around each other. His eyes bore into mine and hazed over. “Say that again,” he said, looking at me with wonder.
I smiled at him, sated and so happy I could die. “Andrew,” I said, and was almost shocked to see a big smile spreading on his handsome face.
“Again,” he ordered.
I chuckled. “Andrew.”
He then kissed me slowly and passionately, his hands in my frenzy mane of hair. Then we lay next to each other, holding hands, and looking into each other’s eyes. Or rather more like gazing.
“You know,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence between us. “The moment you walked into my life, I should’ve known.”
I scouted closer, letting him fold me tightly in his arms. “Should’ve known what?” I asked.
He smiled at me a sad kind of smile. “The majority of my life I lived thinking I was doomed to be dark and brooding. I thought there wouldn’t be any hope for redemption for me. After my mother’s murder and killing so many people... I didn’t think I could make it.”
I was so saddened that he had to live like that. I wanted to reassure him that he was amazing, the best man I’d ever encountered, even though he had his own faults. But he shook his head, showing me he wasn’t done yet. “When you entered to my life, you were such a passionate, aggravating woman that could penetrate my shields without even knowing. Only at the day by the stream, where I couldn’t help but kiss you, I realize that you, actually, were – and are – my ray of light.” he smiled. “Or rather, Rae of light. Pun intended.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle, but then my smile slipped and I looked at him with wonder. “Do you really think of me as your Rae of light?”
“Oh, yeah,” he kissed my forehead fondly. “You’ve no idea.”
That was when I smiled the biggest smile ever. “You know,” I said, teasing, “if I’m your Rae of light, then you’re my Gunner of protection.”
At that he laughed fully, like he rarely did. “Smart-ass,” he accused and kissed me.
Laughter and happiness bubbling in me, I let him kiss me to submission, and then fell asleep right in his arms, feeling happier than I’d ever been.